UnbornTao

@undeather You can tell where someone is coming from just by listening and paying attention to their communication. You could use the same logic with dictators, or ruthless liars. Sounds like nonsense, but intuition may play a role in assessing what someone's like. It's intelligent and holistic. Not perfect though. Would you need to know the life of a X (ruthless manipulator, etc) before deciding whether to relate or listen to them? In your experience, for example, you already make decisions of this kind when it comes to who to socialize with, among many others.

Interesting question to contemplate on your own. Don't limit it to the context of dating, or even relationships. I think this issue is about the principle of authenticity. What does it mean to be oneself? In your experience, there are times when you assess you haven't been authentic. Why? What have you done that didn't arise naturally in you? Etc. It's not acting out every impulse that arises in you.

What principles are effective when it comes to becoming conscious and having insights? What is one to do? A lot of thinking, thus intellect, seems to be pointless. In the end, what has it allowed you to become conscious of? Has it really increased your understanding? Most of the time it's rather superficial when each of us is focused on convincing others of our preconceptions. That occurs often. Sometimes we don't want to listen, although we may not acknowledge that. That turns into an exchange of opinions and beliefs.

Social and culture are held as real. You assume they're "out there," somehow existing as a fact or a reality. They're not! They're held by minds. In other words, the social world and culture are being imagined by individuals. Stop imagining them and they disappear, so to speak. Take a look take a look take a look Consider the shift in perspective that grasping this experientially would have on you.

Trying (and failing) to locate pain. What is it? Where is it? How does it arise? First, bodily sensations. When pain takes the form of stress, there might be constricted and shallow breathing, tight muscles and tense body overall. But pain doesn't seem to reside within these sensations themselves. Where is it? What is it doing? Why does it exist? I'm starting to suspect that pain is heavily influenced by me. It may even be of my own making! However, that is extrapolation. As such, it should be dropped. To be sincere, I don't know yet. Then, look into thoughts. "Negative" thoughts of various kinds -- fearful, angry, anxious, envious, depressed -- may be held while experiencing pain. Pleasure may also paradoxically be involved, both forming a dynamic. Do thoughts cause pain? Dig it.

I'd say there's study, contemplation and practice. All three together can be called inquiry or research. @Leo Gura Study gives you the fertile ground for contemplation.

Show me a mind.

Really easy and comfortable to fall into that model, especially for "spiritual" people. I'd try to listen to the individual and his communications while taking the model lightly. Great guy imo. Intelligent and authentic from what I've gleaned from his books and talks. Also you might be confusing using the same words with talking about the same things. Don't readily assume that teachers who use similar words are talking about the same thing.

That question stems from your curiosity. Wonder and want to know. Identify your assumptions and beliefs as such. That will open up the door.

What is implied by the nature of something doesn't need to be reassessed in expression by complements or qualifiers. It's redundant: Biased judging Wise discernment Aware intelligence Mindful presence Additional complement Different distinction Fear about the future Honest communication Think of your own examples.

Contemplation and existential thinking demand always starting from scratch, that is, without assuming anything about the object of inquiry. It has to be independent from your study and so-called knowledge. In order to do that, your relationship towards beliefs needs to be changed. Concurrent with that, identifying assumptions is essential. It's a key aspect of contemplation. Genuine investigation starts with not-knowing, otherwise it becomes an attempt to validate preconceptions.

The search for truth and the search for comfort aren't compatible. It is inappropriate to base your search for truth on the search for comfort and pleasure.

The Trap of Pretending Say you learn a new model on human growth, and you take it up as an operative conceptual framework. You adopt the model superficially, as a system of belief. Said model stipulates that being non-judgmental is a highly evolved characteristic. What happens in your experience? You may suppress certain emotions such as anger, adopt particular roles that fit your self-image, etc. By pretending to be X, you believe you've somehow made progress and changed in a significant way. I disagree. Consider the Buddha: he didn't repress his impulses. We can imagine that how he behaved wasn't enforced as a discipline but rather arose naturally out of profound understanding and awakenings. Yet, we try to manufacture growth by faking traits that don't arise authentically in us as a result of personal understanding. Remember that pretension is antithetical to this work, and it doesn't help. Watch out for this dynamic. We can fool ourselves in similar ways. Ask yourself: Does this behavior arise naturally for me, or am I manipulating myself? To summarize, be increasingly authentic and continuously move towards that direction.

What is vitality? Yesterday morning I woke up unusually early. Walking with the dog, there was an experience/emergence of joy, presence, vulnerability, deep happiness. Out of that, I wondered: What is aliveness? What occurs in your experience so that you feel alive, as opposed to struggling to survive? Vitality seems to involve your whole presence, openness, and vulnerability to the point where it might become deeply unsettling and uncomfortable when around others. You've got to allow yourself to be completely in the moment, without pretension or acting. Being vulnerable exhibits courage and is required in order to be present. It also seems to cause or involve the principle of self-expansion.

Communicating demands accurate language and expression. Listening demands presence, and the intent to grasp another's experience as it is, that is, without any distortion on your part.

Always assume you're fooling yourself. Ask: How am I deceiving myself? It can be subtle and gross. The key is to become aware of how your mind easily fools you. This will help you mature.

It's a film guys. Don't fantasize about watching TV increasing your consciousness.

I’d appreciate book recommendations on the following principles: authenticity integrity responsibility courage unconditional happiness openness

Have you got any experience with Vipassana? What resources have you found most helpful in your journey? I'm currently reading a straightforward, grounded and inspiring book called The Art of Living. Loving it.

Secure. Got a bit surprised by that.

"Among the great things which are to be found among us, the Being of Nothingness is the greatest." -- Leonardo Da Vinci.

No matter how hard you try to fool yourself, you still don't know who you are. Make your knowledge mountain bigger. When it comes to enlightenment, that's irrelevant and even becomes an obstacle. In your experience, no matter how much you think you know, are you conscious of your nature? Be honest.

How real is this work for you?

A communication that comes from experience uses simple language. It is present, straightforward, vivid and vulnerable. And over all, honest. Real understanding comes from this practice. That's real communication -- handing over to another your experience as it is so that he can grasp it. But if it comes from intellect, it's mostly beliefs and opinions, and uses abstract, vague and complex language. It isn't real communication, but manipulation, an attempt to create an effect on another. In the context of practice, the latter is inappropriate. It may at times be useful, but it is hardly needed. When you have a genuine insight, it's more like "Eureka!" or laughing, not a model or faith-based system. You describe it as it is instead of trying to convince others about your opinions and beliefs.