Joel3102

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Posts posted by Joel3102

  2. Posted

    Hey all.

    I've been dealing with depression for most of this year and recently been getting really interested in enlightenment. I've been learning to become much more present, and had an experience I've never had the other day where the pleasure I derived from merely the sound of birds chirping was amazing.

    however my ego has been resisting this, as I used to have a strong self concept and want to improve myself for egoic reasons (become smarter, more alpha, better looking). This is falling away completely and it's causing me a lot of depressive horrible feelings, but sometimes it feels liberating. 

    Has anybody else experienced the torment of the Dark Night of the Soul and successfully gotten past it where they are genuinely happier than ever. Part of me longs for my old self concept, but I know it's an illusion and not the true path to happiness. 

    Any tips or guidance would be much appreciated.

     

     

  4. Posted

    So about a month ago, I started trying strong determination sitting and did 3 sessions. This may sound crazy but I think it triggered anhedonia in me, as it came out of the blue and all of a sudden I had no capacity to experience pleasure or positive emotion. Maybe it was a coincidence. I'm slowly regaining my emotions back but I have been extremely depressed the last few weeks. Anyone have any negative experiences with such intense meditations? I'm scared to try it again.