Elisabeth

@coughie Try 1lib (dot) eu

Maybe make subtitles to Leo's first video? Will certainly take you less time than a book. Or, read several, get a good understanding of the model, and make a website. I find whole spiral dynamics books rather hard and written for the western audience.

My personal tip is, it's still fear of failure masquerading behind the "why would I bother" thought. Or could be something else. You have to figure out, we can't tell you. Try these: Question and get clear on what kinds of intimacy you're craving. Is it sex, is it talk, is it emotional resonance, is it being valued,...? Can it be achieved just with a girl? Know your goal. Visualize both your success scenario and your failure scenario. Imagine in detail actually asking her out, going on a date, and eventually having sex or starting a relationship. Watch carefully: What kinds of feelings come up? Allow them all. What are the triggers for these feelings? Imagine her rejecting you somewhere along the line too. Bonus question: Just out of curiosity, imagine asking out a guy

Number of reasons. At the very moment you crave sugar, trying to resist that craving feels like more suffering than whatever illness is there (or might be there in the future). After you've "kinda tried" and failed a number of time, you just don't feel like change is something you can do. Just talk about diet will bring up a feeling of failure. Identity and habit, as mentioned above. What you eat is part of who you are, those tastes bring back childhood memories and bond you with your family. Sometimes it's even resistance against authority figures. Don't think you're the first one telling her that sugar isn't healthy. And sometimes, if depressed, the simple in the moment pleasure of sweet taste is one of the few things left you enjoy about life. You wouln't want to give up something that brings you enjoyment, however crude, if you have little of it overall, would you? Leave her alone. Or invite her for healthy cake, but don't be surprised if it doesn't like it too much.

I never thought of it that way. It's interesting and maybe for severe cases it's true. For me, if you want a leadership role, take a leadership role, but don't be my psychiatrist. If a psychiatrist is the conductor of an orchestra dealing with my healing, that's quite wrong. It should be me taking the initiative. I go to a psychiatrist for medication recommendation and prescriptions, which is all a psychiatrist has ever given me. Healing? That happened in therapy and through other initiatives of mine. My first psychiatrist wouldn't have even sent me to therapy. In my opinion, if you haven't done so yet, you should arrange with a doctor to spend some time in his office. It may be problematic because of patients' privacy. But you really want to know how the job is like before you strive for it. It might burst some of your illusion-bubble. If you wanna be involved in psychedelic research, that's a different story, go figure out how to do that.

What you talk about is involved in therapy - maybe more in the therapist-klient relationship then in the psychiatrist-patient relationship. How do you feel about that?

Direct communication is not immature, quite the opposite. And no, things aren't necessarily more clear to her. They might be, she might be very clear on her own motives and limitations - or not - and she almost certainly isn't clear about your motivations. So have that conversation. It need not be dramatic. If you're having some nice quiet time, ask. 'Where would you like this to go? Do you want to keep it casual or have a relationship? I would like ...'

What is it about psychiatry that you wanted so much?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi

Apparently Japanese cultural takes this stance that sadness (possibly sometimes even suffering) is beautiful.

@-Rowan To me it's like the firts one contains the other two, especially reading the second one I thought "isn't that what he just said?"

But not everyday, right?

@iceprincess Just some stuff to check with yourself: - do you still hold hope that perhaps, one day, you two might end up together again? (what would it take to let go of that? would you have to try and get rejected again as Leo suggests?) - are you loving the fantasy image instead of the real person? (as others have suggested, this is likely) - does this past relationship still affect you in any real way today? (not counting the intrusive thoughts) - what real need(s) of yours are expressed in these thoughts? what need did the relationship fill? why him? (meeting this need may well be the key) - how is daydreaming about him pleasant, positive and healthy? (usually even the darkest emotions "give" us something, so I'm sure remembering love does) - is there any trauma, anything you just "don't get", something that hurts? where in your childhood did you encounter this same trauma? Set time aside, inquire about these (and similar) questions, write, release emotions, be intuitive. If none of that works, you'll have to "just" break the habit, but better try identify the sticking points.

@Bratcat Hey. Block him now. Go no contact. If your dynamics has indeed been somewhat close to abusive relationships, then he'll be trying to pull you back in several more times. The "commitment" he asked of you is absurd. Block him, go cry for a week if you need to, then try to rebuild a healthy (even if just online if you're still in lockdown) social life. It's ok to feel intense sadness now. Try to trust it will pass and not worry about your other romantic relationship at the moment.

@Billy Shears I suggest before you drop them entirely, you could 1. try to make the friendship a tad more meaningful (like tell one of them your concerns about drugs and ask if he's willing to meet up sober) 2. find some new people to talk to and make friends with (as a natural outgrowth of the changes you start making in your life) You could also try to re-contact some friends that you might have had earlier in life who are sober. Isolation is usually rather devastating to the psyche, doesn't help your will very much. So try to not be entirely isolated. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

@Hardkill I'm taking a course on entrepreneurship now. It's a process of identifying a problem that people have and designing a solution that you can sell. It's not easy at all, and experience is built slowly. I remember though that you are a good writer. Maybe now you are willing to learn some advertisement and copywriting and sell your services? Something else that you'd like to sell online?

@Stretch Hey, I'm sorry you're hurting and desilusioned. It's the first reaction of forum people to guess where you went "wrong", but not too helpful. This stuff happens in all ambitious endeavours. People who shoot high, fail. Think of the sportsman who injures his muscle, the phd who fails to land a science job, the abandoned mother of three, the ruined entrepreneur. You took a high-risk high-gain strategy with spirituality. There's no use pretending that intense focus on self-actualization (in the narrow sense) is good for everyone. There's traps people fall into, misunderstandings that happen, and just individual differences which predispose you to (not) being able to take a path. I think this is what you wanted to tell everyone with this post. You can rebuild your life and beat your depression. It's the best thing to do now whether you ever come back to Leo's teachings or not. Wish you good luck.

@lostmedstudent As far as I know, it's different whether you strech "warm" after workout or "cold" without it. The first mainly stretches muscles, the second puts more strain on ... all the other stuff. In some cases, cold stretching might improve flexibility more. The duration is not important. Stretch a certain place every day, and it will yield. You might have to find the correct way to do stretching for your particular problem. If you can't touch your toes, the problem is most likely not just the place under your knees that feels the pull, but rather your lower back. Proceed with caution. You wanna make it more flexible but not fuck up the muscles which are holding your tail bone in place. Here's how to stretch for you. Of course, it's possible this one exercise isn't the one or only one you need to do.

So what is his responsibility? Not to make any mistakes? Hardly realistic. (not saying you're suggesting this) To remind you he may be wrong? He does that. To check with health professionals? I doubt that is his responsibility if that goes against his better judgement and/or feels meaningless to him. To be cautious according to your standards? To be courageous enough to lead by example according to some other people's standard? To be transparent enough to show us when he did make a mistake? (Well, that would be my standard.) I agree that Leo has the potential to either elevate or take down hundreds of thousands of people depending on how well he does. That's the risk that every one of us takes by trusting him and emulating any part of his path. Trust is earned in part by taking and showing responsibility, but the risk is still ours. It's good that you're critically evaluating and consider "being out" -- whether you decide to do so or not. Maybe it's enough for yourself if you check with health professionals before taking 5-meo. I for myself don't trust new videos too much.

@Surfingthewave It's very unlikely any conventional psychiatrist could provide well-founded advice to someone this far on an unconventional path as Leo. Psychiatry will base its advice on statistics. Leo is walking a path that's one of its kind. Maybe a health expert who understands the effect of psychedelics on the physical body would be useful. I agree though that any kind of "community" - perhaps a community of chosen spiritual practitioners and psychonauts - could help with reflection. I don't know if Leo has anyone he can open up to deeply and regularly.

@EddyC How long have you had hypothyroidism? Was it only diet that cured it? I'm being a bit hopeful and suspicious at the same time, I've had hypothyroidism from child age so I wonder.

I'm not sure why they call it a documentary - it's a clever fund-raising video for their speculative research. The guy who set up that group is not a physicist at all and sounds a little crazy. I can't tell if their research is good. They have some papers in peer-reviewed journals and quite a lot of them which stayed preprints.

25?

I love that

15 was a great time for me. I wouldn't want to know about self-actualization back then. (Later, like at 17 when I got into a relationship, and at 20 when I went to university and got depressed... yes, I'd rather know.) I was doing stuff intuitively right: - Mastering school easily by listening to the teachers and taking notes carefully (I didn't need much extra studying. If you were to ask me which subject is most important... if you're not a native speaker, concentrate on English, if you are, you might wanna gain some extra IT skills.) - Catching up on some badly needed social skills by participating in sci-fi conventions and fantasy LARPs and battles and just generally doing stuff with people making friends. I think socializing during high-school is incredibly important. 15 years later I've got friends from that time. - I somehow managed to avoid alcohol. - I was playing a musical instrument, participating in math competitions (they also had entire math&adventure weeks for kids to get together, getting skills, experience and socializing), and taking an astronomy course which led to me being a guide at an observatory (<- first gig, socializing, practising languages, building confidence, knowing and enjoying the night sky... best thing I could do). Insert any kind of active, useful or creative, hobby. Looking back over the list, I'd like to add some attention to diet and fitness. That's the area I neglected badly. I wouldn't mind adding a bit of regular meditation and getting some guidance on intimate relationships for later on. But on the whole? I say: Immerse yourself into life, get all kinds of experience, let skills develop based on real interest, try relationships... You're 15. You need to establish yourself as your own person with your own dreams, experience, confidence and decision-making power. (Independent of parents or Leo.) That's your most important task right now, and it comes from living fully.