Elisabeth

@Andreas I'd explore this feeling of "unethical". Where did you get these beliefs? When did you first feel the guilt? Is there an authentic core in your motivation to contribute to the worlds largest problems? Do you have to do this now? If you're doing the life purpose course, maybe return to the "negative values release" exercise. My thoughts regarding research more specifically: In math and other fundamental research, you have to come to term with the fact that you may never know if your research is useful or not. The timescales are different. Some, if not most, of the mathematics which got applied in physics and elsewhere, was only applied decades later. You won't see your immediate contribution to climate change, but you can still do valid math. Einstein could only give shape to his theories because the mathematics of curved spacetime was already available, and it took physicist's 50 years to correctly interpret Kerr-Newmann's metric as a description of a rotating black hole. Or maybe it doesn't get used. You can view your math as an artwork. Even if only you and a few of your closes colleagues can appreciate it ... was it futile? Third thing, even if you genuinely want to make a difference in the world, you don't have to know now how you'll contribute and go the direct route. It's perfectly fine to go do research in mathematics, and maybe (actually, likely) somewhere along the road you'll recognize a case more worthy. Lastly, on a more personal note (I notice you have my thread bookmarked): IMHO if math is your authentic motivation, I feel strongly it's totally worth doing it. Don't miss out on the beauty. You may however find that academia is not what you want, and that you'll have to choose anyway. And/or you may even get fed up with math. Then you'll have to figure out a way forward at that point, and it will be a painful decision to make. But maybe then you'll remember to apply your skills to climate change. Just curious: How old/ in which stage of your studies are you?

There's no "in general" advice here. I'd say intimacy is probably one of your values. Maybe you even uncovered that while doing the course. I'd also say, that nurturing good relationships takes months and years. Sure, if you NOW feel like investing more into relationships is a good idea, go do that. But don't suspend the LPC for that long. LPC is not that demanding, you don't have to put the rest of your life on hold. Find time for both, or alternate between the two.

@Cocolove Any other fields of study besides psychology you would consider? My thoughts are, if you are 17 and healthy, do challenge yourself. Absolutely don't go for the easy option. Good colleges are very much a challenge and it's worth doing it. But maybe traveling, starting a business, meditation retreats etc. are an equal or bigger challenge. It's healthy to put all your energy into a worthwhile endeavor, even if that doesn't turn out to be your life purpose. In the 5 years that are ahead of you, you're pretty much the best shape you'll ever be to master something difficult. That's why people are being put through an INTENSE training in college to become doctors or mathematicians or actors with high levels of expertise. It's ok to take a gap year, but don't throw away those formative years. Teach your brain to think and work at it's best, even under duress.

The life purpose course asks you to reflect. You can hardly figure you'd be good in anything you have no experience with. Why do you think you're at your best when "capturing subtle truths"?

@John Iverson How did you figure out this was your zone of genius? Based on what activities or experiences?

If you study a lot, maybe that's what you need (during exam periods, I do). Or, if you wear yourself out with anxiety or emotional processing. Or it's your age. Or some allergy, or low thyroid. Or, you would in fact sleep less, if you went to bed earlier. More important question is: Do you wake up refreshed?

Why not meditate and run in the evenings? Sleep as you need? You seem to be giving yourself a hard time about not maintaining a morning routine, I'm not sure that helps.

@Extreme Z7 Just a question: Do you know anyone who has a powerful life purpose (in your eyes) in person? I didn't find the "research people you admire" exercise terribly emotionally involving (struggled to think of anyone), until I started to notice the (few) people around me who do have a life-purpose like profession or endeavor.

Thanks. I don't know if this is the case, but I appreciate this. Just please be careful to not unnecessarily scare away newbies. In another forum, we had elaborate trolling attacks from a writer composing stories about fictive people. Unfortunately, after some time we became so suspicious that we accused some seriously distressed real people of making it up. But still, I'm a person who would always fall for the story, so I do appreciate you speaking up.

That means you should already have your LP statement. What's wrong with already starting to take action in the desired direction, while you work on finishing the course in your own pace? Do you need to have the course finished first? Edit: Why not watch the videos to see what work is ahead?

Life purpose course is not guaranteed to, but absolutely can give you the extra boost you need. Taking action vs. overcoming fear first - I find that to be a false dilemma. You really have to do both, and as you proceed with either, it helps the other one. As for emotional mastery, teal swan and byron katie can be good teachers.

I went through the "dealing with fear" and "releasing your greatest fear" videos in the Life Purpose course. That was hard, and I can feel it's not done yet. It seems my greatest fear is not being accepted. I'm not sure how fundamental it is, but it's very immediate in my life. (I think it's actually not being accepted => not being supported => being alone & not being able to take care of myself => suffering/dying, but the top layer is most visible and readily transferred to various social situations.) I'm sure it comes from childhood, i.e. an image of mom scolding me for some perceived wrong immediately comes to mind. I've tried to release the fear during the video, and I don't think I did, I just came to better see the areas where it affects me. Like me being afraid to set goals for myself that my parents wouldn't approve of, me having exam anxiety, me being afraid to show my real self at work, me choosing a partner who's really good at accepting my emotional self (and valuing this trait so greatly that I just accept other stuff), etc. What puzzles me is, I am currently in a state of not being accepted by my parents, yet the fear doesn't diminish. We had a fight over Christmas, they rejected my partner choice and basically my entire lifestyle, and now I'm very hesitant to speak to them at all. Basically, the worst case scenario I imagined came true, yet there is no relief from the fear, just emotional pain from the separation - and weirdly enough, I'm still afraid to do stuff they would disapprove of. Any insights? What is typically needed to work through this fear and pain? @Nahm ?

Right now ... chatting to a friend about how to talk to my parents practically. Otherwise, life going on. I've got a cold, but I still had to go to work yesterday and today, I organize my group this evening, hormones changed ... I know fear will resurface soon enough, I'll dig deeper when it does. Won't forget, I promise :)

@ramdom133 There could be a drop after intense experiences. In bdsm this phenomenon is known as "subdrop", where (usually the submissive party) feels depressed in the days following the scene. It's attributed to a) the physical exhaustion, where the body has used up hormons, minerals..., and b) the sharp contrast between feeling intensely "high" or "in love", and then having to go about the mundane tasks. (Somehow, cuddling after the scene and also in the following days is known to help a bit ;)) It's not that usual (but not unheard of) after regular sex. (I also suspect it's a similar mechanism that causes the drop after mdma - haven't tried though.) See what's the matter in your case, maybe it's a vulnerable feeling surfacing, like suddenly you notice you're lonely; but maybe some extra sleep and nutrition can help too.

Does he know you're doing this for him? Sounds like a lot. I'm not sure I'd want a friend to reject a good job for my crappy one - under any circumstance. He's got options. Cover morning shifts with part-time employees. Search on. Resign and seek a better job himself. But most importantly, get very clear with yourself if this is a "strings attached" offer. What are you expecting to gain back? If you knew he's absolutely not going to reciprocate this level of sacrifice, would you still do it?

Do life purpose. The kind of girl you are looking for is one who is supportive of your purpose, anyway. (And has a purpose of her own that you can also appreciate.)

Ah, thanks! Didn't want to break your heart, not at all! I do have a lot of stuff going on, but I've been through much worse crises before. Now I'm just looking for the best ways to deal with some painful issue that I became aware of, and I know that outside feedback oftentimes helps. Stuff is going well too, as reported in my other thread https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/28562-first-shot-at-life-purpose/ I'm not THAT young, almost 30 But out of the parental house for merely two years, so... still relevant. When I try to let go the opinion of others, I find that I'm having trouble understanding what I want and need and what direction to go. I do think I understand their perspective, but not following it ... has brought me shame and rejection. I'll do it, though. I think I understand on some level. I don't even know anymore, today when I think of it, I feel the pain of already being disconnected. Eh. Breathing out mode. Anyway, I'll manage, thanks!

She agreed! Here's for taking the first step in an unknown direction

Yai! I just figured out how my [scientific endeavors and love for abstract ideas] and my urgent wish to [leave all that behind and go work with people directly in a coaching or therapy style] fit nicely together into one driving force and one LP formulation. It's (so far) "Finding connections to open up new possibilities for people and the world at large to grow" A lot of science is about finding these parallels between different ideas, and about creating new stuff by connecting what's already there. If you find an idea, a bridge between two fields, an entirely new field grows out of that initial idea. Connection=link, combination. A lot of helping people is about pointing out connections which were invisible (enabling growth). Connection=understanding. And a lot of genuineness and healing and joy between people comes from authentic relating, in a relationship, we grow. Connection=relationship. And then you can network and "connect" different people so that they can work together, both of their needs are met, and they grow. I love the word connection (I had to use more nouns in my native language). And I enjoy all these areas. It's a somehow similar feeling really. (And there's even more to it, like spirituality being about connection too.) I know I have to get more specific with my work (I had a domain of mastery with theoretical physics, but it no longer suffices since I've realized all the other possibilities for discovery, growth, depth, connection, genuineness), but this is a great candidate for a guiding principle. Love End of rant.

It is doable - maybe not quite at the same time. But if you're going for university now and your parents support you, it's totally doable to study & do a yoga or taichi training 2-3 times week (or perhaps a summer intensive) & keep contact with your music on the weekend. In this example the band would be a hobby, not a life-purpose kind of endeavor, I'm just writing it so that you realize that your university life can be quite rich, and that's great. If you have to work, maybe it's possible to work up to teaching taichi/yoga/meditation fast. Also, life is long: even if you focus on music right now, you can still change course 5-10 years later, and become all of what you have written above.

As with any other person - it's really hard to help them, if they are not willing to help themselves. You can't change, you can just be there to answer questions she might have. HSP isn't that special, it's 10 or even 20 percent of the population. She can find her way. Also, HSP can overlap with other psychological and psychiatric problems, so she does have to do some regular self-actualizing work (perhaps a lot of it). I don't think a job can be recommended solely by being HSP. The life-purpose course may be a good choice. What I find most important with high sensitivity, what I would tell her is, DO take discomfort seriously. Those limits are real, although other people don't have them. It's ok to honor them. It's ok to seek and create for yourself the most favorable of circumstances. But then also, some limits won't necessarily to stay where they are, as you as a person expand

Yup Elia sent me a message about wanting to set it up So glad it'll work out for you guys.

Well... on not citing sources... this is not academia, this is self-help. Everyone takes ideas from each other, old and new. We don't know the majority of Leo's sources either (although he would cite a paragraph, and in the life-purpose course he does a much better job than in his regular video's). But Teal sure is weird on this. As for deleting comments, that's just fighting for viewers. You're less likely to watch a video (or a next one) if you read a ton of hateful comments underneath. Unfortunately, cordial criticism seems to get deleted too. Of course, she is (or used to be) a believer in the law of attraction, so she might have a fluffy explanation along the lines of "positive focus"...

I sent the email, finally. We'll see. @Serotoninluv Thanks for your encouragement. (I don't feel solidly yellow, though, more green-ish.) Integration is daunting O:) I have to yet find a way to utilize my physics training outside of academia. Or, get my understanding of personal development into academia. I'd like to know more about your yellow level teaching and how you're making it work Thanks, I looked them up, I like their mission. Not quite my area, but still.

Yup, they deleted the comment.