Spence94

The Truth will leave you speechless.

Leo himself is 36ish I believe and the majority of this community seem to be in their teens, 20s and 30s, but who here is older than that and kicking ass with their self actualization journey? I have met many older people practicing spirituality in different communities, but I'm curious to know about the older lot specifically following Actualized.org...

Update: 5+ years on the path. Currently revisiting Leo's 4 parts surrounding not being a victim. Amazing how much sometimes you just have to go out and live a little to gain the life experience and maturity to be able to more deeply grasp things. Making so much more sense on such a deeper level now. Seeing the benefits of my yoga practice pay off in terms of space and awareness within my Self to digest the juiciness of wisdom. For now, I've replaced yoga Asana with Tai chi and Qigong. I still live in China and have felt the intuition to embrace these ancient practices while I am here both for my own health and growth and to more fully tune into the vibration of China, its language and people. So far it's doing so, things are oppening up and channeling more gracefully. Tai chi and Qigong when practiced regularly is deep, profound, and energising beyond words. Not to mention just a grounded sense of stability and confidence that has emerged in my day to day life and dealing with people. Until next time. Peace and Love.

@seeking_brilliance Topic conclusion: Infinity

@Loving Radiance He said his results got better and better too at some point the girls would make a daddy comment, which he totally owned and joked about, it made no difference to the outcome. Will some girls right you off for being too old? sure. Could you turn some of those girls around anyway? Sure. Will some girls totally dig the fact you're older than they are by 2-15 years? Sure. Will some girls right you off for being too young or the same age as them? Sure. Could you turn those girls around anyway? Sure. As Leo said: "What she logically wants its different to what she is actually attracted too." Through my own experience and observation of others, the age thing only limits guys to the extent that they allow their own mind, insecurities and limitations to do so. For the most part, being older than the girl, benefits you in many ways as long as you are continuing to work on yourself as an overall attractive, self actualizing passionate man with other shit going on his life. As well as working on you're actual communication skills with women and deepening your understanding of what they want. I've have seen a noticable correlation amongst women in my life who are the most attractive quality women, (who all the guys are trying to sleep with) and their willingness to date men much older than they are. It all depends though, it's not always the case. Women aren't robots. Best bet, work on yourself and focus on what you can control.

I found this quote by Ram Dass quite interesting. Does anyone have any thoughts or experiences with this moment on the path?

@ivory I've long seen through the thin Vail of the illusory nature of the world, pleasure, materialism, comfort. The More I move in the world, the more i engage with life the stronger the sense of illusion becomes. The illusion of self becomes more apparent. Emphahsised as a byproduct of practice and the events of life that bash the ego. Ying and yang, order and chaos, ego grind and bliss. The dark night sounds like a significant ego death, followed by a breakthrough awakening. Plus, it sounds like the title of a blockbuster movie.

I agree. I think just like when we return home to the family we are met with just how unenlightened we are. When we are with people, strangers and close friends, we are met with the reality of where we are at. Our strengths, weaknesses, patterns and insecurities are all reflected back to us in the interaction. Which means the answers to your evolution are also given to you in that moment.

Bristol, the UK. Green. Chengdu, Sichuan, China. Where I currently live. Green as well I would say. It's much more open minded and innovative compared to the rest of China. Its tucked on the west, near tibet. Probably a strong dose of orange still but the culture and attitude is a bit more developed here and theres a deep spiritual vibe and history.

Its definitely a bit of a numbers game but you you need to be taking actions and improving your interviewing skills. One mindset that helped me out last summer when I had around 10 interviews for a job was "I am interviewing the employer just as much as they are interviewing me". It worked a charm! Every employer I spoke to seemed very impressed and shocked when they heard me asking them just as many questions as they were giving me and that I was taking notes during the video calls. It flips the script and put the social pressure on them more so you are more in control of the situation rather than appearing as another dude trying his best to answer the questions correctly and hoping they will employ him. I was offered a job by all but one of them. Bare in mind I work in the Asian english teaching industry where I am already in high demand but I think the attitude shift could equally apply to any industry. Confidence is king.

Practice. It's a skill. Leo has a good video on visualisation where he runs you through a guided visualisation to get you a feel for what's it's about. Get out of your head and into your body, use your senses, draw up positive emotions. It takes time to get better at it, commit to it over the long run. Coax your brain into doing it to the point that your doubts and resistance to it dissolve. Your subconscious mind doesnt know the difference between real experience and a visualisation, you gotta trick your brain into making it feel real, which you'll develop over time. Try to enjoy it but also know it takes work and effort and sometimes its uncomfortable. It's not always as easy as people would think, but it will change your life if you commit to it and give it a real go. Good luck.

Just wanted to wish you all well wherever you are and whatever you are doing during these times. I have been living in China for a few years now and I was here throughout the whole situation from the beginning. It was crazy times during the lockdown but the country pulled through and my intuition to stay put here and not leave seems to have proven the right move. I wish you all health and happiness and the knowledge that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Life here in China is getting back to normal these days and so too will the rest of the world. Peace, love and health to all of you wonderful souls doing such great work with your self actualization commitments and journeys! May this hard and uncertain time prove to be a great opportunity for growth for you, as it definitely has been for myself. Stay safe, stay strong and have faith! Xxx

Yep, learning a language is a big mind trip. You put in the work, and slowly but surely you witness the world around you shifting, morphing and manifesting into a different reality. It's a great reminder of how relative it all is.

@Riyaazbasha Its easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer mountain in front of you. Truth is, there is no one place to start, its down to you. The other people who have commented all make very good points and suggestions and i agree with them. Meditation, nutrition and exercise are all very foundational things in my opion because they will get you out of your head, into your body, clear up your thinking and thought processes, give you more energy and get you flowing more freely in the right direction. Jordan Peterson says, clean up your room. You would be amazed what tidying up your apartment does for clarity of mind and knowing what to do next. If you feeling overwhelmed and doubtful i reccomend you watch Leos how to stop being a victim videos. I just watched Part 2 again and this time round it really clicked. it is a very foundational insight to realise from that video and it now feels like i have been freed up to proceed with doing the work with and putting the pieces into place with more confidence over time. Allow space for spontaneity and be patient.

@Hansu My ability to speak to Chinese effectivley to the locals i meet normally depends on a couple of things. First, how receptive the other person is to me and my Chinese skills. Some people are just better listeners and friendlier people which allows me to be more relaxed and gain more confidence in the moment when i know they are understanding me clearly and they are giving me positive feedback. Fluency can mean flow, and it takes two people to have a flowing conversation. In China there is usually a correlation between the age of the person and how well i can communicate with them. Younger people in there 20s and 30s, and 40s all speak Mandarin very well generally speaking but when i speak to people in there 50s, 60s and above thats when i struggle to communicate and understand them. Also, some people just don't have the space within them to understan you, some people just look at me blanky and tell me they dont understand over and over again even though im using a simple phrase that i use everyday and i know that 90% of people get it. I agree with you, confidence and your only state matters hugely in speaking a language. The person we are talking too can help put us in a more relaxed and confident state, this then helps the language flow more and we are more willing to just fucking go for it and not care about fucking it up, its at that moment you will do your best. Being stuck in your head and anxious is when you end up making shit tones of mistakes and freezing up, so worrying about your ability to communicate is actually fucking pointless because by not worrying, you put yourself in the best position. The ideal situation would be to develop your confidence and inner being to one when you are relaxed, happy and focused and always just do your best. The good thing about living in China is that Chinese people are pretty impressed by foreingers even speaking one word of Chinese so anything else you can say blows their mind and you already have their attention. They are also very understanding because they dont really expect you to be able to speak the language and their default assumption is that you cant say a word, so when you do talk they are good at matching your ability, slowing down, and helping you find your words which is awesome! Having good people to talk to helps a lot.

Are you interested in the content? Does it have any usefulness and relevance to your life in any way? How absorbed are you in the area of study? How positive is your attitude to learning the thing at hand? What is your attitude toward the thing in general? I Study Chinese and I find that when I am studying consistently it is easier to remember words and formulate the language. Of course this is simply because I am actually putting in the work but there's something to be said for consistent exposure over time. Huge correlations between interest and the ability to learn also. From a karmic perspective, certain things seem easier to learn for certain people. Follow what lights you up and you have intuitions for, you will find those avenues will be easier to learn than things you do not have the true pull and disposition for. Somethings in life I just seem to pickup effortlessly whilst overs require a lot more diligent effort if I truly wanted it and i have to implement better strategies to make it more learnable.

I agree with @Elisabeth . Awareness is the answer. When you do a process such as the work and investigate your beliefs through questioning they will release. You have to do it consciously and do not try and rush though it. Question them deeply and sit with and observe the feelings surrounding the belief and that arise through this process. Often you will literally feel a sense of letting go and releasing through this process. It is pretty simple really, but it takes consciousness, patience and willingness. I feel after nearly 4 years of meditation and life experiences I am only just getting over my resistance to facing my limiting beliefs head on as well as actually having the level of awareness to sit with the beliefs and the emotions that accompany them and be able to carry out the process affectively. It is simple but it is it not always easy, however there is also an element of satisfaction, peace and joy that comes through the letting go process, so enjoy!

@Leo Gura Can you expand on these points you made about the "logistics" please? Sounds like your saying it is a frequency of interaction, environment and a numbers game... What else makes up good logistics? are you saying if it was a different time and place and you handled the interaction better things would have gone more smoothly?

@Average Investor Sounds sick man. Yeah that is a good plan on the travel side of things. I try to make travel an opportunity for me to get back in touch with myself and the beauty of life, take a break from work, get inspired & energised then hit the life hustle again hard with new focus when i am back. ?

From my experiences so far in such communities, I have noticed that they require seriously developed and thought out leadership roles. One self sustaining spiritual/addiction recovery community in Thailand was very well run but one thing I could not help but notice was the sheer variety of people that were attending for allkinds of different reasons. It became a strange mix at times and their was nothing that could be done about it. The "leaders"/those in charge definitely had difficulties managing the place with people coming and going all the time and some people living their from anywhere between 4 days- 2 years. There was one dude who kind of founded the place but their was no one leader, and I can't see how it would have worked that way if it was. There were 2 meditation teachers, 2 yoga teacher, 4 different life coaches, and different spiritual teachers teaching different workshops etc. I can't see how it would of worked without this collaborate effort and designating different people to fulfil different roles while having that tight nit group run the whole place and maintain a stable collective energy as a whole community. Personally, it seemed like a big task to pull off, but they seemed to do it well. Power to em. That said, it definitely can work and it was very inspiring, but I agree with others here. Personal self transformation has to happen way before you even consider building your own. I would recommend visiting some around the world yourself for your own personal growth first.

@Average Investor @Good-boy ahaha I like this mans thinking but I have to agree with your own gut on the decision, take some time off and focus on you and only you. I just came out of a serious 2 year relationship also. You seem like you are handling it well and although big changes such as cutting people who no longer serve you adds to the pain, sometimes its gotta be done. Do it from a place of love and don't look back bro. As for the travelling for a bit, fucking do it. Best thing I ever did. Put my life in a backpack, flew halfway round the world and got the fuck outa my small hometown and away from a toxic environment, people and culture. Have not regretted it one bit since. Go explore dude and come out the other side a stronger, more rounded, bad ass human. I went through a lot of pain after the break up but daaam I am looking forward to what is coming now. Good luck on the next chapter dude!

Breeeeeeeeeath deep and hard bro. It is counter intuitive, the sooner you relax under the water the sooner you will get used to it and be able to handle the cold. If you tense up and scream like a biatch then you will never want to turn the water cold ever again. Start small. Take a hot shower and right at the end blast yourself with cold for a few seconds. Every time you shower, increase the amount of time you are under the cold. Then come summer time you will be challenging yourself to dive right it from the off. if that is all too much, literally start with individual body parts. Build up, I look forward to my fucking power showers. They still suck sometimes and I almost back out of turning it cold some days but I never regret them once I man up and do it. Momentum counts for a lot. Now I know, that the cold water is not going to kill me, it gets a bit easier to turn it cold regularly. When I first started taking cold showers, they were so painful, now I love em. Overcoming that mental barrier to turning it cold is huge. it will affect other areas of your life. Plus, they are amazing for your body and nervous system and make you feel like your fucking superman ready to smash life everyday.

Loving this idea of making my mornings beautiful and something to be enjoyed. My sleep cycles are fucked right now while I am off work. I am like an owl. I am going to sleep at 5Am and waking up at 4/5pm. Struggling to even get up at that time because it just seems pointless to even begin my day so late. even as I write this I it is 4:30AM. I have decided I am going to drink a cup of coffee and just stay up intil the evening again and try go to sleep around 7pm to maybe have a chance of waking up in the morning and putting my cycle back on track. I have to go to work again next week and it needs sorting out!! haha

@VictorB02 @zambize yeah I think you made some good points man. In some of my note taking the other day I ended up drawing in the corner of the page Inner and outer game going round in a continuous loop. They feed each other. As for some specifics. My biggest issue is the country I live in. I have been living in China for 2 years as an English teacher. While it has been amazing and I am growing and learning and experiencing life in a wonderful way, the people, pollution, noise and chaos of daily living here seems to trigger my lower self responses very frequently... aha. Most young Westeners never get past the 6 month mark as China quickly chews them up and spits them out.... There are multiple ways you can look at this internal/external topic and is really is quite interesting. I watched Leos Neurosis video and he made the point about just because you don't need something doesn't mean you wouldn't authentically want it. Change the inner and you can be content with the outer, but it doesn't necessarily mean you gotta just accept and put up with shit you don't like...If changing the outer would create a better circumstance and life for you then by all means go ahead and do it. Shit, you may even need to change the inner again to even make changing the outer a possibility. I am just going in circles now... but that's what it seems to be about.