[Benefits of Enligthenment?]

11 hours ago, jip said:

Interesting topic... I think the main "benefit" is having a clear mind, but apart from that i don't really see why "you" would pursue enlightenment if you are not a hardcore truth-seeker.  Leo always says that it's impossible to be happy without being enlightened and the unenlightened life is a hell, but i don't really think that's completely true, at least not in my experience(or am i lying to myself right now?). I would say it's not so much of a holy grail as some people here make it out to be even though it will liberate you from "you", but unless you are not enjoying the dream that is life or can't stand maya anymore, why wake up? Everyone is gonna wake up eventually, so why rush it?

I think Leo idealises enlightenment too much. He claims that you can't be happy without it, but this is simply not true. Happiness, joy, passion, gratitude, love, enthusiasm for life, and contentment for the present moment are all things you can develop regardless of the state of your ego. They are the result of your thoughts, actions, and they way you choose to interpret the world and life. Leo says above that an enlightened person is "very grateful and at peace with whatever is happening and very in the present moment, and not acting all neurotic." These are things which are acquired by working on your cognition and behaviour. The overwhelming success of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for treating depression shows how interrelated your thoughts, behaviour, and emotions are.

I agreed that an unhealthy ego can certainly cause problems, but you can alter your sense of self in such a way that it does not interfere in your happiness or personal development. 

 

I'm not sure if Brendan if enlightened or not but I've never seen him mention it, and he seems like someone full of joy, passion, and gratefulness.

It seems like a lot of enlightened people came from a situation of suffering, in which case I can see how enlightenment could bring peace. I can't say for certain, but I don't think becoming enlightened is going to make you happy in it self, I think they are going to have to put in the same efforts to acquire these mental states.

I think Leo's believe that you cannot be happy without enlightenment will prevent him from being happy.

I'm not sure what it means that you will gain truth from enlightenment, so I can't comment on that.

[Brute Forcing Any And Every Goal You Set]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The trouble with that approach is that it's sourced from a deep neurosis. You're basically in conflict with yourself, disowning parts of your psyche, and trying to bull your way through towards some idealized future which -- even if it comes -- will be deeply disappointing because you will one day realize that you whored yourself out for success. If you use this approach, you will become the stereotypical businessman who makes a killing on Wallstreet and then hangs himself one day from the ceiling fan.

All your achievements in life are ultimately pointless and produce very temporary doses of satisfaction because of hedonic adaptation. What you need to do is to learn how to derive joy from being, not from doing.

A good approach for you would be to do almost the exact opposite of what you suggest. Which means, practice self-compassion, self-acceptance, and a slow relaxed, easy-going pace. Learn to enjoy life rather than enjoying some idealized future.

All that said, I don't mean that you don't take action. You still take action. But from a place of self-acceptance rather than a place of lack, as you're doing now.

This is another one of those counter-intuitive moves I always talk about.

I think you should do a video on deficiency-cognition vs being-cognition. It's such an important concept and is absolutely vital for self-actualisation.

[Apologizing]

Simply saying sorry is quiet meaningless. 

Nathaniel Branden wrote a great explanation of what to do if you have wronged someone:

"1.We must own the fact that it is we who have taken the particular action. We must face and accept the full reality of what we have done, without disowning or avoidance. We own, we accept, we take responsibility. 
2. We seek to understand why we did what we did. We do this compassionately, but without evasive alibiing.
3.If others are involved we acknowledge explicitly to the relevant person or persons the harm we have done. We convey our understanding of the consequences of our behaviour. We acknowledge how they have been affected by us. We convey understanding of their feelings.
4.We take any and all actions available that might make amends for or minimise the harm we have done.
5.We firmly commit ourselves to behaving differently in the future."

As Leo pointed out, it's a matter of genuineness.

[Your Favourite Quote]

"What one can be, one must be." - Maslow

[Forgiveness]

A way to reach forgiveness is through empathy. Realise that we are all (most of us) fundamentally the same, the sum of all your experiences has shaped you into who you are today. Their are reasons for why people think and act the way they do. Don't condemn them. When someone does you wrong try honestly to see things from their perspective. Put yourself in their position and imagine how you would react. Chances are that if you had experienced all the same things they had you would be similar to them. It is very hard to hate someone when you understand them.

[What Was The Most Empowering Actualized.org Video for You?]

"Self Actualization - The Most Inspiring Self-Help Concept Of All Time" and "A Vision For The Self Actualized Life - Get Yo Ass Inspired!" Maslow's ideas about self-actualisation are so inspiring, it's as if he's describing an ideal human being, it really give you something to strive for. He goes into more depth about actualisation in his books 'Motivation and Personality' and 'Toward a psychology of being,' some of these concepts are life changing.

[Tell Us How You Got Into Personal Development]

Name: Mat Pav

Age: 20

Location: Melbourne, Australia

Occupation: Student

Hobbies: Learning, discovering and listening to music, spending time with the people I love, exploring nature, personal development, reading, urban exploring, hallucinogens/exploring altered states of conciousness, piano, thinking and experiencing the richness that life has to offer.

In my mid teens I was depressed constantly (this lasted a few years), my social stills were lacking, and I was quiet shy/introverted.

I decided to do something about the depression and starting searches for ways to cure it. What I ended up doing were the techniques used in cognitive behavioural therapy (changing the way I thought and eliminating distorted thoughts). I managed to cure my depression within months, and I have manage to turn my general mood around completely. Now I am very happy and excited about life overall. I feel that it's truly amazing that I've been given this chance to experience life and all the beauty of the world. I am very grateful for it.

The first personal development book I read was How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This book was probably what triggered me into developing my communication skills and looking for ways to develop my confidence and self-esteem. It was my first taste of the personal development world. I've become much more expressive, more confident, and have developed a strong self-esteem. I am now able to show a strong interest in the people I meet and form an emotional connection with some of them. I've formed many deep friendships with very interesting and beautiful people who I love and have experienced so much with.

I'm not sure exactly what triggered it (probably many separate things) but sometime during high school I developed a profound love of learning. Literally everything about the world is so fascinating. I started learning about maths, many of the sciences, history, philosophy, arts, personal development. I'm am currently fixated on psychology, the brain and music theory. These topics are so interesting and are very fulfilling to learn about.

I had also along the way developed a passion for music. I had somehow stumbled upon music which I found exhilarating, that was like none other that I had heard before. From then on began my journey of music discovery. It's impossible to imagine what can be done with music. There's so much unique and interesting musics being created and such a wide range of emotions that can be generated from music, some music is simply amazing. These artists are geniuses, I can't believe they could make some of the stuff they've made.

All of these have led me to develop the personality I have today and I am grateful for all of them. I cannot wait to see what the future holds. 

Personal challenges I've overcome:

- Cured depression
- Become healthier and started eating better
- Formed Friendships
- Developed a healthy self-esteem
- Started personal development

What I'm working on now:

- Learning about psychology and neuroscience
- Further developing my hobbies 
- Further developing my relationships
- Choosing a life purpose