Pav

My emotional state is positive the majority of the time. I have passion and love for life and feel grateful for getting the chance to experience all this. I would say I'm happy. Maybe we don't define happiness in the same way? Could you explain what true happiness is to you? And could you explain why you believe people can't be happy as a separate self? It's quiet confusing when you say you can't be happy without enlightenment because it just doesn't fit in with my own experience.

I'm not sure you would need to completely disillude the ego in order to switch to a state of being. From my own subjective experiences, it seems that being cognition comes from your mind set and thoughts, you can switch to a being mind set instantly. I can definitely see how many peoples egos can prevent them from reaching this state but that doesn't mean that it can only be reached without an ego. I may have a different understanding of the ego, but it seems like people are talking about two separate things; one being the last thought you identified yourself with, and the other being the feeling of separateness from the world (ie. the feeling of being an observers behind the eyes or the boundary of your skin). It seems that the first is what causes the egoic drive you mentioned, but this can be easily altered (or toned down) to the point where it no longer interferes with being-cognition and you can eliminate any drives based around no having enough. This can be done by altering you thoughts, since after all your idea of your self is just thoughts from what I can see. For example, thoughts of "I need to do this to acquire this (which will then validate my image of my self)" can be replaced by "I am going to do this because I love to do this (regardless of any external outcome and without striving to validate my idea of my self)". As for the second definition, I don't see how getting rid of this in it self with give happiness. Personally I don't think I feeling like I'm an observer behind the eyes any more, and as far as I can tell that hasn't changed my emotional state. I once had the experience where my boundary between my skin and the world dissolved, and no happiness came from that, literally the only thing that came from that was that I no longer had a sense of distinction between my body and the world (although I was on mushrooms at the time, so maybe the enlightenment experience is different). On the other hand I have felt an intense love for everything in the world and a feeling that the world is overwhelmingly beautiful and perfect just as it is. In this state nothing could affect me negatively, I could have died just then and I wouldn't have cared, no matter what happened everything was still perfect. But as far as I can remember I'm pretty sure I still had an ego in the times that this has happened (the distinction between my body and the world was still there and I still had ideas about my self). I think experiences like the one I described above come from your underlying beliefs about the world/your thoughts (this is what created those beliefs). I do view the world as beautiful place and I think it is utterly absurd that I even get the chance to experience all this and I feel highly grateful for it, all I can really do is experience the little time I have as richly as I can and to impact other around me in a positive way. I think that the mental state mentioned earlier was the emotion associated with these beliefs being brought out much more intensely, and was not directly related to ego. Overall I would say that I am happy despite having an ego. There are occasions where I feel down, but this does not necessarily both me as much as it used to, I just see it as part of my life experience. It's thinking which can get me into a bad mood, but it's also thinking which gets me out of one and can also make me feel passionate, grateful, joy, and love. Maslow mentions in Toward a Psychology of Being that these people had the experience of self-transcendence more often (ie peak experiences, getting absorbed in your work, b-love). But I cannot recall him saying that these people had no ego or were enlightened. I think switching to a psychology of being is a complete shift in your perspective which is achieved through how you think. Instead of seeing people for what they can give you (love, affection, companionship, validation), you view them as they are and are capable of loving without seeking anything in return, you can love people for who they are, not for what they can give you. Instead of doing things because you are deficient in some area and looking to acquire the thing you lack, you can do things simply because you love to and you value those things for there own sake. I believe that this sort of shift is cause be changing the way you think and your beliefs about the world (and of cause your behaviour must be congruent with your thoughts, your brain will notice otherwise), and are not directly related to ego. I think stopping your thoughts altogether will leave you in a calm and peaceful state. I can definitely see the value in entering this state frequently, personally I would like to experience a wide range of different state than just this one. TD:LR My own experience has led me to believe that thoughts, emotions and behaviours are interrelated. There is some science to back this up; Coginitive Behavioural Therapy is highly effective in treating depression. I don't think must disillude the ego to be happy and I doubt the disilluding the ego in itself will necessarily make you happy, but I do see how thoughts relating to your self image can get in the way.

@Vishal Read The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. This book contains just about everything you need to know about self-esteem. I highly recommend you look into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, based on what you've written it seems this will help you a lot. There are plenty of good books on CBT.

"It's a journey of the alone into the unknown. It's about placing your power and courage against that which is in the darkness." - African guy trying to convince a lecture hall fall of people to consume absurdly high doses of psilocybin mushrooms.

Thoughts have accompanying emotions and behaviours, they are interrelated. If you have a habit of judgement, when someone does something wrong you will probably have an automatic thought condemning them. When this happens notice this, bring your awareness to the fact that you had this automatic thought and counter it with a realistic thought. For example, when someone does something wrong you may think 'he/she is a bad person,' this judgement is illogical, counter it with a more realistic thought such as 'he/she fucked up but that doesn't make them a bad person, we've all make mistakes since no one perfectly moral, I'm sure there has been many times where they've done good things.' When you counter distorted thoughts like this with realistic thoughts, eventually (a few weeks) your automatic thoughts be replaced by more realistic and less judgemental ones. In this way you can become completely non-judgemental. This can of cause work on judgements you make toward yourself; 'I'm a failure,' can be countered with 'I didn't do very well on this particular task but that doesn't mean I'm a "failure," there have been many times in the past where I've done work I'm proud of, the fact that I didn't succeed this time gives me opportunity to learn from my mistakes and improve myself.' It is important that your thoughts are realistic and congruent with your behaviour, if you counter it with things you know aren't true (eg 'I'm great at everything I do') it will cause further neuroses. Awareness is vital, but it's not the whole picture. A change in cognition is required, or all you will end up doing is becoming aware of how judgemental you are.

I've made my ultimate purpose in life to experience life as richly as I can before I die and to be a positive influence on the people in my life. Happiness is fairly easy to attain, and there's a wide variety more emotions to experience besides happiness (eg. fulfilment or even the many "negative" emotions; they are just other life experiences after all). Experiencing happy emotions can be one purpose in your life, but there are so many more purposes worth pursuing for their own sake. There is so much to learn, so much art and music to experience or create, so many beautiful people to love and form deep emotional relationships with, so many places of the world to explore, so many different states of conciousness to explore, so many hobbies to get fully engaged with and master, and so much personal development to be had. You need to switch to a psychology of being (read Maslow's Toward a Psychology of Being); instead of trying to acquire thing due to lack (ie trying to acquire happiness), do things simply because you love to (for example, don't try to form friendships to try to attain happiness, do so simply because you love forming emotional bonds and sharing life with other people, work on your hobbies simply because you love working on your hobbies). Of cause your "life purpose" (meaningful creating contribution) is another large aspect of your life experience. I think self-actualisation (being in a state of being) and living a life of passion is what life is about. Happiness is just one experience in this and really isn't hard to get. Happy emotions come as a result of your thoughts and behaviours.

I think Leo idealises enlightenment too much. He claims that you can't be happy without it, but this is simply not true. Happiness, joy, passion, gratitude, love, enthusiasm for life, and contentment for the present moment are all things you can develop regardless of the state of your ego. They are the result of your thoughts, actions, and they way you choose to interpret the world and life. Leo says above that an enlightened person is "very grateful and at peace with whatever is happening and very in the present moment, and not acting all neurotic." These are things which are acquired by working on your cognition and behaviour. The overwhelming success of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for treating depression shows how interrelated your thoughts, behaviour, and emotions are. I agreed that an unhealthy ego can certainly cause problems, but you can alter your sense of self in such a way that it does not interfere in your happiness or personal development. I'm not sure if Brendan if enlightened or not but I've never seen him mention it, and he seems like someone full of joy, passion, and gratefulness. It seems like a lot of enlightened people came from a situation of suffering, in which case I can see how enlightenment could bring peace. I can't say for certain, but I don't think becoming enlightened is going to make you happy in it self, I think they are going to have to put in the same efforts to acquire these mental states. I think Leo's believe that you cannot be happy without enlightenment will prevent him from being happy. I'm not sure what it means that you will gain truth from enlightenment, so I can't comment on that.

I think you should do a video on deficiency-cognition vs being-cognition. It's such an important concept and is absolutely vital for self-actualisation.

Simply saying sorry is quiet meaningless. Nathaniel Branden wrote a great explanation of what to do if you have wronged someone: "1.We must own the fact that it is we who have taken the particular action. We must face and accept the full reality of what we have done, without disowning or avoidance. We own, we accept, we take responsibility. 2. We seek to understand why we did what we did. We do this compassionately, but without evasive alibiing. 3.If others are involved we acknowledge explicitly to the relevant person or persons the harm we have done. We convey our understanding of the consequences of our behaviour. We acknowledge how they have been affected by us. We convey understanding of their feelings. 4.We take any and all actions available that might make amends for or minimise the harm we have done. 5.We firmly commit ourselves to behaving differently in the future." As Leo pointed out, it's a matter of genuineness.

"What one can be, one must be." - Maslow

A way to reach forgiveness is through empathy. Realise that we are all (most of us) fundamentally the same, the sum of all your experiences has shaped you into who you are today. Their are reasons for why people think and act the way they do. Don't condemn them. When someone does you wrong try honestly to see things from their perspective. Put yourself in their position and imagine how you would react. Chances are that if you had experienced all the same things they had you would be similar to them. It is very hard to hate someone when you understand them.

"Self Actualization - The Most Inspiring Self-Help Concept Of All Time" and "A Vision For The Self Actualized Life - Get Yo Ass Inspired!" Maslow's ideas about self-actualisation are so inspiring, it's as if he's describing an ideal human being, it really give you something to strive for. He goes into more depth about actualisation in his books 'Motivation and Personality' and 'Toward a psychology of being,' some of these concepts are life changing.

Name: Mat Pav Age: 20 Location: Melbourne, Australia Occupation: Student Hobbies: Learning, discovering and listening to music, spending time with the people I love, exploring nature, personal development, reading, urban exploring, hallucinogens/exploring altered states of conciousness, piano, thinking and experiencing the richness that life has to offer. In my mid teens I was depressed constantly (this lasted a few years), my social stills were lacking, and I was quiet shy/introverted. I decided to do something about the depression and starting searches for ways to cure it. What I ended up doing were the techniques used in cognitive behavioural therapy (changing the way I thought and eliminating distorted thoughts). I managed to cure my depression within months, and I have manage to turn my general mood around completely. Now I am very happy and excited about life overall. I feel that it's truly amazing that I've been given this chance to experience life and all the beauty of the world. I am very grateful for it. The first personal development book I read was How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. This book was probably what triggered me into developing my communication skills and looking for ways to develop my confidence and self-esteem. It was my first taste of the personal development world. I've become much more expressive, more confident, and have developed a strong self-esteem. I am now able to show a strong interest in the people I meet and form an emotional connection with some of them. I've formed many deep friendships with very interesting and beautiful people who I love and have experienced so much with. I'm not sure exactly what triggered it (probably many separate things) but sometime during high school I developed a profound love of learning. Literally everything about the world is so fascinating. I started learning about maths, many of the sciences, history, philosophy, arts, personal development. I'm am currently fixated on psychology, the brain and music theory. These topics are so interesting and are very fulfilling to learn about. I had also along the way developed a passion for music. I had somehow stumbled upon music which I found exhilarating, that was like none other that I had heard before. From then on began my journey of music discovery. It's impossible to imagine what can be done with music. There's so much unique and interesting musics being created and such a wide range of emotions that can be generated from music, some music is simply amazing. These artists are geniuses, I can't believe they could make some of the stuff they've made. All of these have led me to develop the personality I have today and I am grateful for all of them. I cannot wait to see what the future holds. Personal challenges I've overcome: - Cured depression - Become healthier and started eating better - Formed Friendships - Developed a healthy self-esteem - Started personal development What I'm working on now: - Learning about psychology and neuroscience - Further developing my hobbies - Further developing my relationships - Choosing a life purpose