Flower

@Algi Yes, your right. & that is never easy of course. At any moment we are exposed to the world, and all these external circumstances, we can only move forward, doing our best to be the best version of ourselves at any given moment. We do suffer along the way, but where there is suffering there is growth. To live is to suffer, and as Buddha rightly taught; attachment/desire is the root of suffering. So if we work on our attachments and desires ( by working on ego, we are essentially removing both) we will reduce our suffering. We have to let go and be in the present moment fully, not defining or being defined by the external.

@Henri They were, but aside from that he was a wealthy man. He did enjoy his material things and saw materialism and spirituality as not only compatible but also as requiring each other.

@Algi One of the signs of real growth is to realise when there is fake growth- that is the first step to real growth. The best thing we can do is be honest with ourselves- we all have fake growth sometimes but not everyone is aware enough to realise it. You should congratulate yourself on the realisation, now you can separate real growth from fake growth.

@Holdup Thank you, that's very kind. I love that about this forum, people are so helpful and kind. Peace to you!

Funny you say that Leo, because I read about that and that is what got me thinking about this question in the first place!

Yes please do, would be interesting to know!

I have heard of it yes. It contains the active molecule DMT, which is actually found in many of the foods we eat, but we have enzymes that degrade it before it can enter the system! That's why they give Ayahuasca with an antagonist of the enzyme, to stop it working and then DMT can do it's magic. I have never done any drugs really, but would want to try Ayahuasca!. Good luck, and hope it's a good experience

One of my favourite books! It's really quite magical

@stephanie Your right it can be hormones, and that was the case for me. I had issues with getting spots despite eating healthy. I started taking primrose oil as a supplement and not only did my skin clear up amazingly, my periods were far less painful. It's a great supplement for women with hormone issues.... Not sure for mens hormones though

A few drops of pure organic avocado oil which can be mixed with a basic moisturising cream before bed works really well.

I'm with you on that one!

Yes, But does this not assume that brain= mind, so that ego is situated in brain structure? So does ego exist only at the neurobiological level, what about the phenomenological aspects of ego?

@Consept I think monogamy works, but people see relationships as something to gain from, and the concept of love has just been reduced to mere politics between husband and wife, and when any one party feels it no longer gets enough benefit from the cohabitation or 'marriage' people can no longer hold it together because it is based on an impermenent thing. Like when our happiness depends on a person or situation, we will likely not be happy for too long since the object of our dependence is in nature ever-changing and temporary. Monogamy I think works, with or without marriage so long as the foundation on which it is based is not a transient or fleeting set of emotion/ideas/politics etc.. rather based on love in it's truest form. But when we are not even able to love ourselves in the real way, how can we love another unconditionally and with the permanence that true love affords.

@Mutupo Interestingly, when Descartes says 'I think therefore I am' , Yes it makes sense that since I am thinking, I must be in order to be thinking in the first place... BUT this tells us nothing about the nature of the 'I' that does in fact exist. Thoughts on this?

I have had the same experience. Real forgiveness is truly liberating. ( as oppose to the pseudo-forgiveness where we superficially 'overlook' what the other has done in order to be the 'better person'). We can forgive others truly when we realise that we too have hurt others and in all of mankind there is the potential for evil- even within ourselves. However, we cannot let that reign over us because LOVE is superior (not us ) so we can be compassionate towards the situation or the person, and as Leo rightly pointed out this in turn is compassion to our own selves. As Buddha said 'If your compassion includes everyone except yourself, it is incomplete'

'The education that exists in the world is not true education. True education will be a help towards enlightenment because it will make you more meditative, more silent, more aware, more inward-looking. The education that exists in the world makes you more ambitious, outward-looking, more egoistic, more superficial. It gives you all kinds of wrong values. It is a kind of poisoning. It does not help you, in any way, to be yourself. It is destructive. It helps you to be somebody else, and that’s its very destructive foundation. It is a poisoning, but so slow that you never become aware. It begins the day you are born and it goes on slowly slowly destroying you, distracting you from your nature.' 'A real education will not teach you to compete; it will teach you to cooperate. It will not teach you to fight and come first. It will teach you to be creative, to be loving, to be blissful, without any comparison with the other. It will not teach you that you can be happy only when you are the first. That is sheer nonsense. You can’t be happy just by being first. And in trying to be first you go through such misery that you become habituated to misery by the time you become the first.' - OSHO D.H. Lawrence was very much against your so-called education — it is not education, it is mis-education. Real education can only be based on love, not on knowledge. Real education cannot be utilitarian, real education cannot be of the marketplace. Not that real education will not give you knowledge; first, real education will prepare your heart, your love, and then whatever knowledge is needed to pass through life will be given to you, but that will be secondary. And it will never be overpowering; it will not be more valuable than love.

What if your not addicted to caffeine and don't turn to it for an energy boost. I just Enjoy coffee and don't feel like it's a compulsive behaviour. As with anything, balance is key.

Our great goal in life is to love. The rest is silence. We need to love. Even when it leads us to the land where the lakes are made of tears, to that secret, mysterious place, the land of tears! Tears speak for themselves. And when we feel that we have cried all we needed to cry, they still continue to flow. And just when we believe that our life is destined to be a long walk through the Vale of Sorrows, the tears suddenly vanish. Because we managed to keep our heart open, despite the pain. Because we realised that the person who left us did not take the sun with them or leave darkness in their place. They simply left, and with every farewell comes a hidden hope. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. (taken from "Manuscript found in Accra", Paulo Coelho)

@charlie2dogs Thank you, that's very kind

@DreamSpirit Thank you so very much for your lovely advice and words of encouragement! I am really excited and not so frightened anymore. Nothing is to be feared.. only conquered Yes absolutely agree with you. After 3 years at university I am now starting to feel like it is time for some proper education. Hope you get to travel to Cambodia soon!.

Yes I agree, better off alone than with the wrong person. He did not cheat again, but found it very easy to move on to another girl straightaway each time we had a mini break up... like the next day in fact. That is surely not love. Now looking back it seems really immature and I could have done without it but It was a real learning curve for me, It taught me alot- not just about others, but most importantly- about myself. Yes I should have let him go, but I tried believing in the best of him but I think he realised I would continue to do that. We can believe in the best of others at a distance, not when It sabotages our own mental and emotional well-being. I am also an empath so it was really difficult not to fall into the pity play trap- I did it many times. It's ok though, because I have learnt that I can keep a soft heart and be compassionate but at the same time draw a line where I am not being compassionate to myself! Ultimately as I have learnt to love myself more, I no longer feel I have to take him back or that I am unforgiving if I don't. He knew how to play the pity cards very well, that was all. Thank you

Thank you for the encouragement Philip! Positive is the way forward. There is so much more good out there, but we have to let go of what is bad for us in order to make room for better things.

http://www.mindful.org/healing-the-child-within/ Very Good Article. A good summary of the book

@Leo Gura Do you think that these books were written in metaphorical terms, or in such a way because the level of 'awareness' in the people at the time was such that they could only understand guidance in basic literal terms and that only people who could read between the lines would be able to extract the higher meaning from these scriptures? As over the last few years there has been a shift in human consciousness we can know begin to see what the essence of scripture really is and so of course it should not be interpreted literally?

@Irina Irina I recommend 'Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child' by Thich Nhat Hanh Very good book and will help with what is possibly the root of the problem. Peace.