cle103

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Everything posted by cle103

  1. @TrynaBeTurquoise Yes, I am curious about the alien as well LOL. It was always like he was operating on me. Then I noticed him by accident and he was like... "Shit, I slipped dimensions and he saw me... STOP the operation guys, we have to come back later!" Regarding the looks of it, I have no idea. Maybe the cultural images are like that because they really look like this As I said, maybe it was a figment of my imagination but then again... what would be the difference?
  2. If God has created all of „this“ and then took (in this case) human form and made itself forget it did it... And then invented evolution, „life“ and „the world“ to learn to love itself again... which is my understanding from tripping... Why not go straight to complete Love again? Why suffering? I mean God can make something out of nothing. Why this „in between“? Why does evolution take so long (I know this is only long for a human but still). And finally: What is the most direct way to break through to a natural state of absolute Love on a day to day basis?
  3. @Leo Gura Thank you. Sounds like another mindfuck incoming. I‘ll keep at it.
  4. Hey guys, I‘ve been pondering this question for days as I struggle to console two facets of Truth: 1. When tripping and also in day to day life I look at my hand and realize it is made out of consciousness. It is easy to realize when tripping as it just changes form, gains more fingers or some other weird shit happens. However last trip I also became aware of... 2. The Truth of the hand is that it does not exist. I don‘t mean this in some weird semantic twist. I mean it literally. When I looked at my hand it was like a fractal. It had NO SUBSTANCE. I could see that is a reflection of a mirror of some sort. It was/is a complete illusion. And underlying this illusion is the ground of infinite potential (consciousness). These two points of view do not seem to match yet both true. Has someone encountered/consoled this? I am not looking for quick answers.. but if somebody has a cheeky pointer I‘d be grateful ??
  5. @Nahm Mmh thank you. That actually helped alot! It reminded me of two more insights: 1. Perception is a lie. There is only being. 2. There is no thing as „empty space“ there is only consciousness. I also just became aware of that this whole thing is illusory. It seems to me like these two perspectives are degrees of depth. And in the deepest degrees the illusion completely falls apart and there is only infinite potential left.
  6. I will skip the intro today. This one was wild. So hold on to your hats. From the beginning this trip was different. After about 20 minutes my whole body started vibrating intensely. That took me by surprise. And shortly afterwards the first breakthrough hit: 1. Mirrors For the last days I was really intrigued by mirrors. What they are how they work… and it turns out they are a huge part of how reality is constructed. See, consciousness is the underlying ground of everything. It is raw, formless potential. However there is a grand illusion at play (which we call life). It is really like a hall of mirrors. Reflection within reflection and ever on. And what I then became aware of was the undoing of this illusion. It was like all the mirrors where lifted up and I merged back into Oneness. I then proceeded to open my eyes only to find reality breaking down completely before me, as me. There was no sense of up or down. No orientation at all. I merged back into raw potential and became aware of how this room is just a mirage. A reflection reflecting itself. And underlying all of it is the ultimate magician God itself. It felt like the curtain was lifted and I saw him doing his magic trick... with me being the magician, the audience and the trick itself. This alone was a mindfuck yet only the beginning… 2. Death and rebirth Note: Last wednesday I did an intense holotropic breathing session. Afterwards I got the clear sense of presence of some demonic force in my room. It proceeded to give me visions of my darkest fears in my dreams (half awake) and then it vanished. I think this trip was the sequel to that. It was not pleasant at all. I died and was rebirthed over and over again. At the end there was the question “Do you want to be a living God?” but it was already answered... 3. Home Ever since last trip I got the sense that something shifted in me. I did about 3 years of “seeking” enlightenment however I became aware of that I am already done. I’ve reached the point of no return months ago. There is no point in trying to yank the steering wheel around… the car has reached the top of the mountain and is now rolling downhill into nirvana. The trip then retold me the story of the enlightened shoe by Adyashanti. If you have never heard it you might enjoy it. In short: You cannot go anywhere to find enlightenment. Practice is necessary until it is not. Seeking is necessary until it is not. I will keep practicing, however I strongly feel the “bang your head against the wall” part of "seeking" is over. And I also got the sense of that I am pretty lucky in this regard. I really got to give a shoutout to my past lifetimes or something. I did little in this one to “earn” it. I'm only 21 and did 3 years of meditation, Kriya Yoga and Psychedelics. I feel at home. However we will see how this will fair in daily life. Since last trip it has become much more effortless and joyous... we will see. It surely is a new beginning since there is no end. 4. Not being human After about 1 hour of straight breakthroughs and peaking I opened my eyes and was awestruck what was going on... It was like I became aware of that multiple realities are here overlaid over one each other in this moment… and me tracing my finger was like glitching the matrix. This is hard to put into words, but I clearly did not feel human. It was some sort of new entity learning through my body. And it still went on… 5. God and the Soul I have to paint this as a picture but I got the image that God is like this field of energy and then there is like a wave reaching out of it. And on the tip of this wave is a dot of light and it is looking at God (as God). This is what “we” are. We are looking at God as God. And it is learning through us and teaching us at the same time. 6. Evolution Some time ago I saw the video of a seed becoming a plant on Leos Blog. Why is it doing that? Why does it has to expand and grow? Well, all of this got answered. First of all God as RAW intelligence. If you think of the smartest human on earth… that’s not even a fracture of Gods intelligence. It designed this body. It does not make mistakes. Think about it: If you were in charge of running your organs it would be mayhem. And then think about building a new one… no no no. God has designed it perfectly for you so you can do more exploration… AND it is still learning. This is Evolution. It’s going on right here right now. For example think about AI. This is not artificial. It is part of evolution. God is experiencing and learning in this instance THROUGH us. This is insanity. And why on earth does it do that? First of all because it’s infinitely intelligent and it just can… and second of all because of Love. Learning to love. God is just infinite goodness and it is orchestrating this illusion so we can think we are seperated and relearn how to love. 7. Why are the things the way they are and not otherwise? Why has my notebook lines and isn’t just blank? Because I find it easier to write this way. Why is that important? Because I want to note as many insights as I can. Why that… It goes on and on. And it all traces back to God’s infinite intelligence. Things are the way the are because they could not be otherwise AND for God to experience itself more fully AND because this is needed for this love simulator in exactly this way. ---- At the beginning of this trip I thought I figured some stuff out already. And it told me “Yes you have”... it then showed me 3 or 4 tiny stones of a mosaik which were colored (meaning “understood”)... it then showed me a hundred more stones and I was like “Oh man, you serious bro?”... it then zoomed out and out and out until I could not see anything anymore. The mosaik was so huge, it was not grasp-able. That is what we are doing here. Here are some more insights: 8. The innovators dilemma Did you ever notice how great companies are built? Think about the big auto companies back in the days. Usually there are some people tinkering. Innovating. Figuring stuff out. And if they figure something out it gets copied ruthlessly. Then the businessmen come in. They turn the raw idea into money and processes. Then we end up with a corrupt polluting monstrosity which is getting so fat that it's dying down again. This is evolution at work. Each time around it gets smarter and smarter. 9. The hand you are delt A big part of life is figuring out which cards you are delt and then playing them to the max. Me for example: I am not an academic even though I was good in school. I am not that techy. I am not that interested in dense studies. And I am also not the “hardest working dude in the room”. However I am artistic (and probably pretty lucky regarding past lifes). And now its on to playing exactly this hand to its max. Not trying to turn weaknesses into strength but figuring out this Zone of Genius and going all in. Thank you for reading. Much Love.
  7. @Nahm Thank you ?? @zeroISinfinity It always takes one by surprise. You know it happens when you try to articulate something and every word stops half way until there is only silence and awestruck-ness left lol.
  8. @Enizeo thank you! I do Kriya Yoga and mindfulness meditation daily. I also breathe almost daily (mostly just 3 rounds of Wim Hof but sometimes a full 50 minute holotropic session). Whilst tripping I lie down and relax. Then a window opens up where I can restate my intentions. Then I just let the peak build itself up. Once I‘ve broken through the biggest reveal happens. There is nothing that I do in this moment... only surrender. After the breakthrough the peak lasts 1-2 hours where I am in a fully nondual state. There I ask questions and contemplate (mostly with my eyes open). Then there is a come down where I feel more and more exhausted. I mostly just sit around and pick up the remains of my identity and stitch them back together lol. Also: These trips have only been this deep since my first breakthrough to infinity. There is really no comparison.
  9. @Draven Glad I could inspire you. Age is just a number, what's much more important is sincerity and maturity.
  10. @Ar_Senses thank you! I live in Germany (and I work there). If you are in the area I’d love to connect. Set and setting was as usual: My room. Saturday morning. It was my monthly trip (I do it monthly since April however I always wait until I get the strong intuition to go in again). I also wrote down my intentions beforehand.
  11. @Leo Gura @peanutspathtotruth @karkaore @Charlotte Thank yall ??
  12. @OBEler 5g‘s of mushrooms was the breakthrough. I‘ve done 2 Al Lad trips and the rest were mushroom. Regarding the breakthrough, it was really intense. Kinda like being struck by lightening (or what I imagine it to be like). You can read my report here if you want: Would I recommend it? Absolutely. If you are ready to surrender completely.
  13. @AncestorOfAisle6 For me, my baseline increased tremendously. I've done 13 trips in the last 3 years. However the changes were exponential ever since my first breakthrough to absolute infinity. This was 3 months ago and it was the day, the real journey started. Since then, I truly felt my day to day consciousness rising. Main differences since then: 1. I know what I am shooting for. 2. I am much more aware of my breath and body tensions which basically makes my life a constant lightly meditative state (which is pretty pleasurable). 3. I am much more loving. Like 10x since the breakthrough. More respecting of others, animals and all life forms. Don't expect one trip to do that for you. This takes work and most likely a good dozen trips.
  14. Hey guys, I've been meditating alot on my breath for the last months (using Culasada's stage model) and I've been noticing some interesting changes which also pose the above question. A couple of nights ago I was lying down getting ready to sleep after meditation and my mind just stopped completely. Like zero thoughts. I then was sucked into something that seemed like swirl of consciousness which was also profound as it wiped away the feeling of the body. However it stopped after a minute or so. Ever since then I've been focussing on the breath even more throughout the day (I also do breath work and Kriya Yoga). Which poses my question: How do you breath properly? I am serious. There's alot of conflicting advice. Some ppl. say to breathe into your stomach. Some say to expand your full torso... Same in breath work: Do you breathe only through your nose? Only through your mouth? Or does it not matter? I've heard all 3 answers from seemingly legit experts (Wim Hof, Laird Hammilton, ...). As for my direct experience: In daily life I feel that if I breathe with my whole torso I also move my shoulders upward a bit which is not good. However if I only breathe into my belly it doesn't seem optimal either (most likely either takes more practice). Note: Focussing on the breath throughout the day is immensely calming, even meditative. My day feels like low level meditation when I don't forget to check in with my breath regularly. In my view this has immense potential as I feel it's essential to make life your practice as well. Regarding breath work: Breathing only in through the nose seems really forceful when you want to go balls deep (bc. the breath would otherwise take alot longer compared to mouth breathing). So what is your experience? If I remember correctly @Leo Gura wanted to shoot a video on the proper way of breathing (maybe he could spill the beans ). - Cheers
  15. @d0ornokey Yup, pretty much all of them can be found on the forum ?
  16. I’ve counted them all up: This was my 13th ride on the psychedelic ferry. And it was an insightful one to say the least. If you want to skip straight to the trip, please feel free. However to those interested, I will provide some background. The last 4 of my trips really go together. It all started in April when I decided to trip again after a half year off. This one trip changed my life. And it told me 2 things (besides many others) that are crucial: Psychedlics are your path. Your path is the one of energy and purification. The subsequent trip was my first breakthrough to absolute infinity. And my last trip was a deeper insight into the mechanics of God and me becoming aware of the “One Eyeball seeing”. If you’re interested you can read them here (I’ve labeled them for my own reference): Creativity and Beauty | #10 Infinity | #11 The Pixel | #12 Now on to lucky number 13. Man. Where to begin. I will start off with the method of administration. I ground up the shrooms, put them in a tea bag and then followed @Nahm's Ginzing™ tea procedure. It worked like a charm and the peak was even longer than usual (felt like years but must have been a good solid hour of hanging around in the God Head). My intentions where: Who is aware of the “Pixel” (= God/the one eyeball seeing/that which within all dimensions and so on are contained)? What is the energy part of “Energy and Purification” (I figured out purification in #12). What is my role in this life time? The Trip: Like the last time I began a conversation with God after the come up. Again it asked me: “What do you want to learn?”. Again I stated my intentions. Again it showed me my impurities. Again I surrendered and admitted what I was suppressing (in this case feelings for a girl). Then again the real trip began. It started with my 3rd intention: “What is my role in this life time?” I also asked: “What is my medium or mode of creation?”. God proceded to state: “Art”. It was that simple. I tried to question it. I pondered it. But there was no fucking around. My life purpose is art. My soul’s yearning is creation. I am half warrior, half artist. It even showed me that my body was made out of the two halves (left = artistic, right = warrior) with my heart being the one of a warrior. It also showed me how to use my left hand. Following were visions of me living my purpose. I saw my designs and artworks on shirts and canvases. It also showed me sharing insights. It was beautiful. And what was also remarkable: I always kinda knew that I was an artist. And a particular scene came to mind: In Germany if you finish your school you go for a last test where you have to pick 4 classes which count double and will be tested extensively. I took art as my last one. And I got a B- for my sculpture. Years ago I could not belief why my teacher would do that as we were pretty close and the sculpture was good (imo lol). I then realized that this was his final teaching. I pretty much copied the sculpture I did in class months ago and with this grade he taught me to be original. He taught me I could do better than this. What a man. It turns out there are two modes of creativity: Copying something - Re-creation. Tapping into true imagination and God’s creativity - Creation. Don’t get me wrong, most art is copied and still great. However true creativity is something else entirely. That’s the art which moves mountains. Btw. I also revisited on of my first trips where encountered a Balrog in the realms of consciousness. Of course I don't know, but it seems that either the makers of the Lord of the Rings movies, or Tolkien himself has pounded some mushrooms. After that, this part of the trip seemed finished and proceeded to go pee. Once I returned I lied down and set my mind to the “Who is aware of the Pixel?” question. However I was put off by some roof worker hammering on top of my flat. Then something happended which still takes my breath away: There was a voice out of nowhere which said: “You know you can stop the noise, right?”. I was like: “What the fuck, how?”. It answered: “Remember”. The hammering stopped in that instance. What. The. Fuck. There is no “How”. God just wills it. I am remembering more and more how I built all of this. And how I engineered all of this so I forgot I did this. It is so ingenious. Holy fuck. I looked at my hand. I wanted to change it. It changed into a claw of some sort. Almost like a pig foot. I wanted to make it green and alien. I realized that there was an invisible “lock” on that. I couldn’t do it. HOWEVER I also realized that this lock was imaginary. It was my limiting belief (forget the personal development mumbo jumbo). And if I surrendered this belief I could literally turn my hand into a tentacle. Holy fuck. However now the real mindfuck commenced. I asked: “Who is aware of God?” “How can God be aware of itself”? The answer was: There is NOTHING to be aware of. Perception is a lie. Fuck. . I really wanted to use less swear words to keep this report classy but man… what a mindfuck. Later I also asked: What are all these thoughts in my head and what is the ego? The answer: Thoughts come from the field of infinite potential (which is HERE and NOW). They are made out of the one “stuff” call it consciousness. And they are illusory. That means: They create separation. God uses thoughts so you perceive yourself as other so that God can look at itself. Then it made itself forget that it did that so that Trump doesn't turn all cats into chickens, or worse And if theses thoughts recede you go back into oneness aka no separation. Holy fuck. It really does nothing to read this in a book. You gotta experience it first hand. Mushrooms taught me that over and over: If you read, it’s heresay. If you gain insight from the hand to hand combat of existence, it’s wisdom. Books are still crucial but there is no comparison. Then there was only one intention left: What is energy? The answer: There is nothing which is not energy. There is only one “stuff”. I really wanted to learn more, what the role of energy is for awakening, what the Kundalini is and so forth but I was to exhausted at this point. I just stayed in the Godhead, setting my intent to heal existence and ask some more questions however the main part of the trip was over. Only one more thing: If you think God is this serious, nihilistic “thing”... get that out of your head. God is playful and even humorous (yet also brutal in some sense that it uses evolution as its playground and paintbox). It played around in this trip. It joked at the beginning why I would not want to see some aliens (my intent was set on the above 3 things). And it also showed me how silly this notion is: We are humans. Living on rock. This rock is inhabitable by accident. Somehow life poofs into existence which is of course proven by science. And this rock is the only one which has intelligent live on it. Yeah, sure. Cool story bro. There are no accidents. None. Thank you. P.S. I planned to trip monthly but this is getting pretty intense and exhausting. If one of you experienced psychonauts has some insight into picking your pace and so on, I would be grateful. P.P.S. You might wonder, what these insights change in ones day to day life. Aren't they just some psychedelic "state"? Well no. What I can say with absolute certainty is that I've done 1-3 years of growing in the last 4 months. I am much more aware of the ego's trickery and I feel like I am becoming an embodiment of Love. I also feel much more joy on a daily basis. I respect every life form ten times more (e.g. if there is a pigeon or crow in my way, I step aside so I do not disturb it and I also watch my step avoiding to step on ants and so on).
  17. @Leo Gura Thanks! The potential is undeniable. I‘m only 21, there is no way in hell I could have grown as much without psychedelics. I am truly beginning to learn how to live. Btw thx for your example as well! Without it I would‘ve denied this path.
  18. @Commodent Ok thanks. What do you think about breath work? And what are your sources?
  19. @Bluebird @sidaz10 Thank you. I will give it another go.
  20. Thanks man! Can you help me with this one? Situation: My boss bought bottles of champagne whilst some coworkers were still waiting for their pay. He should not have done that (imo). Is it true? Yes, he did that. But no, the last sentence is not true as he did what he did and that is the truth. How do I react? I get triggered as a stage green dude. I get angry. I can feel it in my stomach and then spreading through my body. Who would I be without that thought? I would be calm, relaxed, doing my work. Turnarounds: He should have bought champagne instead of paying the team? That just does not feel true to me. Can you assist?
  21. @Truth Addict Yeah I know that feeling haha. I had it a couple times when meditating. Literal fear of death. When I get scared in a dream I can decide to wake up which is cool, however when you‘re near an enlightenment experience you‘d wanna let go (easier said than done... I haven‘t been able to do that yet).
  22. Hey guys, I just had a pretty crazy experience and I can't sleep anymore so I thought I might write a forum post about it lol. I've been experimenting with my dreams on and off for the last months (just for fun). I just set an intention and then see what happens (let's dream something crazy tonight, shall we? = crazy dreams, etc.). Before I went to sleep yesterday/today I set the intent to dream something beautiful and so it began (first I wanted to dream sth. else but my intuition came in and changed it for me)... The dream began crystal clear. I was in the same room where I am sleeping and I was looking out of the window. Then it happened. I just realized that I could get enlightened RIGHT NOW. There was no way to it. I just had to be it. In that same instance it hit me (quite literally). I suddenly fell flat down (or so I think) as I lost touch of my body. Then there were darkness and exploding colors. Then there was just emptiness. When I awoke from that period (I think I was still dreaming at this point or sth. in between) I tried to think. I had to really try actively. And the main thing I noticed was that I could not worry at all. Reason being that all thoughts of worry included the fiction of "me". Like, I couldn't do it if someone put a gun to my head. It was just a fiction. And who gets worried about a fictional character? I was still there. Nothing changed. There was just no me. I quite honestly don't know if at that point I was dreaming or in waking consciousness at that point as my dream was happening in the exact same room but who cares about that duality anyway. Then after some time my (way too excited) ego came back into effect. I just wanted to share that with you. - Cheers
  23. Hey guys, all of this could be coincidence, however I still wanted to share this and maybe someone knows what's up. Over the last months I've been noticing that I have some really strange imbalances between my right and left side of the body. Here are some examples: My left side is stronger than my right (I'm right handed). My left side is quite a bit more flexible (even though I also sleep on that side). Right now I have a minor cold and only my left side is congested (for real, I only blow my left nostril and have a headache on the left side of my head). In congruence with that: My left eye is constantly tearing up for no reason whatsoever (since I got the cold). I have two very distinct birthmarks on my left side. I also have a scar on my left hand that's there since birth. Again, all of this could be total coincidence. No, I didn't have an accident. However if someone of you know sth. about all of this, please share. I know it's important to balance out the body and I also know that left = thinking (in general) whereas right = emotion. And if this should have sth. to do with it, I'm an INTJ (Myers Briggs, however I have also worked quite alot on my emotions over the last year(s)). - Cheers