Keryo Koffa

What is imagination? Same as intuition. What is intuition? Looking at the in-betweens. What in-betweens? Exactly Meditation intends silencing to dissolve your bias. Because the more you think and imagine, the more self-referential it is. To meditate is to go back to the source. And all kinds of crazy ideas and imaginations await you there.

I intuit why we talk about nothingness over everythingness. Dualities are arbitrary and infinite. To hold one side of a duality over the other is a bias. But to be attached a duality that encompasses both sides itself is also bias. To think is bias, to exist is bias, to appreciate is bias, to feel is bias. Everything is bias. One can overcome bias by either integrating all biases or letting go of them. But there as infinite biases, infinite lenses, that through their own unique existence infinitize infinity infinitely on top of the infinity that led one towards them. One will never dissolve bias through more bias because there is too much bias for a finite mind to remember. On the other hand, to let go of bias completely is to be. But the most radical version of it is not to be, for any perception is distinction is bias. To live is bias, to breathe is bias, to die is bias, to not be biased is bias. Mindfulness is bias, mindlessness is bias. The only way out of bias is less bias, but there is bias behind a desired level of biasness and the memory that led one there and keeps that state of mind. There is no escape, but there is surrender. Awareness is ego, there is no ego-death in our lifetime as in the extinguishing of all bias. But if one sees ego-death as ego-mindfulness and a conscious perspective to be as dynamic as possible through continuous ego-deconstruction and then one rebuilds oneself from nothingness of mind through our inherent body awareness and reality reinterpretation from a higher vantage point, to give up the ego and build one anew, then ego-death makes perfect sense. In that case, ego is personal attachment, and by giving it up, one is reborn into oneself. One still carries memories of the past-ego, but they are as arbitrary as the rest of existence and only reference points to be used and navigated like one's "physical environment", without the same level of attachment as identifying with it. So then ego-death is really ego-rebirth, the conscious letting to of one's projected identity.

I used to believe in "Non-Duality" a few hours ago, but that specific interpretation I held onto feels ever more delusional the more I self-reflect. I thought I had to relinquish all desires and maybe even phase out of existence. But I wondered what I would do if I were egoless. And I thought "nothing", because there'd be no need for anything. But how do I draw the difference between nothing and something, isn't it equally arbitrary. This whole world has form and direction, desires arise, they are a reflection of this homeostatic body's survival evolution. The feed of information appears in consciousness as desire, bodily needs, safety desires, comfort, belonging, self-esteem, actualization, Maslow's hierarchy of needs. All of it is arbitrary in the grand scheme of the universe and localized to this body, which I seem to be in control over. It is reality and exists regardless of my interpretation, my present experience is the only knowable reality. But practicality exists, I can recognize patterns and navigate the experience, it's just that nothing is fundamental, it's always interpretation. It's right until proven wrong, the mind is a map and not the territory. Only qualia is "real". Even that sentence doesn't seem right, because everything is equally real and unreal. But in a pragmatic sense, I create a duality between perception and interpretation, map and reality. The map isn't the same as reality but it is a subset within it, a contrast to actuality, but that's a duality, they're both reality, make of the same stuff, but I distinguish them as distinct out of an intent for navigation, sense making and understanding. All things, that the form I appear to be in control of is defined by, I define it into existence by these traits. I define into existence all of existence, every "thing". There is only perception, I perceive but I am also perception and I am the undivided being that splits into that duality. A "be-ing" rather than a being. Transience is proven by change, though change itself might not exist as we know it. Time and space, change itself is really just a perspective, a way to "navigate qualia". I can theorize an infinite fractal of qualia, each part mirroring every other, to zoom into it might be to move in that space in a specific manner and observe the perspective of entropy and generate the framework for space-time and sensual perception. I am not aware of these mechanics, they are interpretation, equally arbitrary as everything else, purely based on instinctual observation and perspectival intuition. Which themselves are all words, which I use to describe other words, to make sense. But reality already makes sense, reality is sense, reality is everything, every contradiction, every duality and unity. Reality does not appear to change based on my perceptions, but my perspective is changed by experience of reality. And even that might not be true, my perception creates reality, my mood changes my focus, psychedelics change the qualia I perceive. Reality is undefinable, for no subset can encompass a superset, or can it? Reality is every pointer and its opposite simultaneously, it integrates all perspectives, and all opposite perspectives and all non-perspectives and absolutely everything that we are and aren't aware of. Is there only awareness, or is awareness all that awareness can be aware of? Awareness can only ever know itself in the now. But awareness changes form, so that intuits that there is more. What, I don't know. How? I don't know. I can only know it by being it. I can retain memory, though its nature is projection. Regardless of all the thinking, my hand feels physical but I do not know its nature, or do I? Nature is something I invent. It is only and ever itself, a hand a concept and that which I point to that which I point to. I can distinguish many layers of awakening up until the one I am in now. It is becoming ever more aware of existence and leaving ever more lenses and the need for lenses behind and also the desire that spawns the need and then the reason for the desire and then realizing all of it was made of the same stuff as undivided reality, which I cannot with my current vision perceive as such. My eyes focus on "objects" with bias, easily recognizable forms enter awareness and my intuitive understanding tells me their purpose. But the way I understand Non-Duality in this consciousness-configuration is that it's not about "rejecting ego" but about "accepting everything". And on a healthy practical level, to free oneself of programming and fear and instead act on reason, awareness, self-reflection and taking ever more responsibility for existence. To be one's most aspired version, but in a way that does not dismiss the present for the future, but to be in the present that which one sees as the best way to be. To take care of one's desires, dismiss them when adequate, follow them when adequate, question them always, but also recognize the inherent nature of diminishing returns and the arbitrary nature of the whole fabric of reality on which everything builds.

I've been obsessed about making sense of reality for the longest time. Constant contemplation, I can just keep going indefinitely, generating thousands of words, directions, pointers, concepts a minute. But I'm ever more aware of the relativity of it all, infinite insights through infinite perspectives, they will never end. I quit my dead end job, it's mechanical repetitive nature was a waste of lifetime. I saved up enough to get by a year. Any direction I explore appears useless. Psychedelics saved my life by giving me the consciousness back that I deluded myself out of. The world runs on luxury, there's little point in perpetuating it. I'd like to work with psychedelics, after all, what more is there to reality than exploring it in every imaginable way? But psychedelic research feels useless, we already have them, it's just public perception that needs alignment. Neuroscience is cool, but it's really just conceptualizing a map whose territory is already available to us. Philosophy isn't something I see as a job, just as part of conscious sense making. There are many professions, but they do not interest me for long. It feels like I'm looking for a distraction, feeding the ego-game of needing to bind myself to something to perpetuate survival. But in the free time I have for myself now, I want to find out what the best thing to do is. How I can live the happiest and where to go. I could join a hippie commune, I could be homeless, I could try a start-up, but for what? I could write a book about the endless notes I'm in the process of deleting. It's all conceptual baggage but it's also a map of reality. Any tips from someone who integrates ego-death with presence and navigating the real world healthily?

@Yimpa I know what I want. I hide it from myself because I'm attached to unattachment. But it's simple and I can keep doing it indefinitely. Indefinitely from my current perspective, truly until I don't feel like it anymore, but there's so much energy. I'm running away from the energy, I'm running away from myself. The light is blinding. I love it. Why am I so obnoxiously smart in stupidity?

@Davino Thank you. To externalize my thoughts would make it easier to let go of them, I am continuously changing, using ever less words, but can always deconstruct them to an infinite length. I do take pleasure in these insights and a book would be simultaneously share them, memorialize them, and make some income on the way. I really just have to start exploring life and reality outside of the conceptual proliferation I was locked in all my life. I'm ever more aware of my body's needs and the layers of my mental delusion. I will do the best I can.

@Yimpa C'mon, my externalized proxy and alter-ego, my ego-mind was really hoping to latch onto some concepts from the persona that you are to it and that it makes itself believe that it is too lazy to come up with itself, regardless of the fact that this very resistance is more tenuous than actually doing it. But now you disappointed its expectations through a higher consciousness response intended for self-inquiry, which is the last thing it wants to do, but it will and realize it's higher self in the process of doing and thank you for it later, despite always having had the means of doing it itself, and instead searching it in it's memory through physical cues from "others".

Realize that resistance is fear and ego ignorance. Others will try to control you as they control themselves. But their perspectives are partial and circumstantial. You and I were like that once when we didn't know any better. But now that we do, we can see it for what it is, a lower perspective that is yet to be transcended. Experience is only ever attained in the present moment by pushing the borders of one's curiosity into the unknown.

@Livingstone The world is filled with ego, which manifests itself through projection and ignorance. You don't need any degree, knowledge fills you with insights, but the only point of learning anything at all is to expand your perspective. Universities don't teach you any more than ChatGPT does, it's merely the game of degrees, diplomas, titles and certificates which self-perpetuates narrow thinking, specialized studies and the export of responsibility to authority. Society plays the game of validating certificates, but look at all the successful entrepreneurs, they're only where they are because they ditched this mindset and society tries to mimic them and fails because there never were any rules to it, they just did their own thing. Institutions slow you down to match their timeframe. You wait days to go and memorize some stupid speech that you can just watch right now on YouTube. It's either public knowledge, or if it's not, do you really want to participate in hiding knowledge away and monetizing it? Ideally, it'd be an environment of open thought, sharing and holistic interconnection through the lens of whatever is studied, group discussions, active participation, constructivist reimagining. Open thinking, active doing, immediate testing, passion, spirit, truth. But that's not what we see. Students are depressed, look at the suicide rates, look at what you're trying to do, you're trying to help but the elaborate means of getting there through all the bullshit diplomas to justify a human's ability to interact and help another human while outsourcing responsibility to some "professional intellectuals" is exactly what got us into this mess. Nobody can talk frankly anymore, everybody's distracted, people are referred to suicide watches, to group therapy, to some impersonal institutions, to fix problems that stem from being unable to interact with their own environment due to its nature. You and I are discouraged all our lives from sharing our thoughts, ideas, gaslight into inaction, blind trust in a system of consensus bullshitting, depressed and stopped from learning on our own and making our own decisions, constant second guessing, constant need to validate our thoughts with at least one more person sharing the sentiment, constant doubt and fear of getting things wrong and being shamed for it. The only way I got out of that were psychedelics that I started three months ago. The most valuable part of the psychedelic experience is to get fully in tune with yourself and to be able to experientially and emotionally feel that which you already know to be the case. To accept the truth and shed all doubt for the ego-game that it is. I had the same idea as you. I though, hmm what about psychology to help people? That I realized, it's a narrow focus, monetized profession, strict timetables, you'll be called crazy if you do overtime or want to help people outside of work because "you're not earning money doing it". It's so limiting, then I thought how can I do better? What do I even do? How do I help people? And I realized, people are everywhere, everyone's got their own unique problems. A person really just needs to vent and become in tune with their emotions, desires and thoughts. For the next two weeks, I spent a lot of time of Reddit, typing with people in awful situations, sharing insights, just talking about their life and hearing them out. It feels like I made their days better. Your goal is noble. But what I realized is that my drive was really out of needing that which I gave them myself, I never had anyone to help me and by helping them, I used them as a proxy to help myself. But I kept realizing how complex life is and how much there is to integrate and that I really need to work on myself. Because you can only help others up to the state of mind that you yourself are in.

transience means my happiness will pass but so will my anguish, so when I anguish I can look forward to happiness, and when I'm in happiness I know it won't be gone for good and so when I do anguish I can appreciate it for what it is and anguish less for the anguish was really an absence of happiness due to attachment I suffers because I is attached to I-self, but I isn't I, I is connected to parts that I grows attached to but I is everything and nothing and all that I yet isn't. I hasn't realized it, but I always changes, I's environment changes, but I remains, I's body changes, but I is still I, I's thoughts and identity change, but I knows I-self to be I nonetheless, I only knows what it's like to be, but I only is when I experiences, but I doesn't always experience, I only knows I's awareness when I is aware, for I is awareness. I always maintained a loose but continuous memory of I, the attachment to this memory I can overcome as I realizes its transient nature, the last question is if I can allow I-self to forget and suffer to learn I-self anew in a different form before I's imagined death. The last border to cross on ego-death, for I is not ego but ego is a transient part I grown attached to.

@Squeekytoy Life is homeostatic, it survives because it's good at it. It's defined by that trait and seeks it out through all its instincts. Evolution: Fear. Love. Desire. Exploration. Safety. Meaning. Freedom. Presence. Fight. Flight. Freeze. Repression. Shadow. Unity. Imagination. To understand our distraction and resistance towards self-annihilation, we only have to look at where it comes from, we evolved to be opposite and can only move there under a pretense like seeking truth or becoming more resilient or having a price wafting for us there. Without motivation, we go nowhere. Motivation is drive is seeking comes from desire comes from instinct comes from form that consciousness takes.

@Squeekytoy @Yimpa The reason why all of us are still here

I could see how an unbalanced ego could eventually fall into nihilism, due to a dissolution of all preferences and navigational capacity. I could also see it as an increased attachment, an ego expansion. But you'll have to elaborate for me to understand exactly what you mean. Without ego, there is nothing to appreciate, or is there?

Ah yes, the path of deconstruction and recontextualization: I'm quite fond of it myself. You can learn much about a person just looking at where and how they spend most of their day. But it's equally essential to extinguish one's own bias and projected "meaning well" The ego wants nothing more than to make everyone else your clone, but you can use that. You just have to expand your ego so far, that it covers all aspects of human life and personality. Then you'll see others just as yourself in a different circumstance and mindset.

This is it. Any moment that awareness is content with is a beautiful one. Resistance to the present moment is what runs this world and is its own currency that shapes our lives in every way. We have forgotten how blissful the mere state of conscious existence is, no matter its form. LET ME ADD TO YOUR POST: Our mind is made of countless memories, conscious and unconscious desires To realize their nature and consciously resolve and dismiss the need to hold onto them and carry them inside will diminish the continuous arising of long-term resistance and the return and waves of ego-backlash. We don't need to realize them in real life via proxies, they originated in imagination and that's where we can resolve them. At the same time, there are massive amounts within us, and it might feel like a distraction from pure being. But the body and mind are one and we can see them from this elevated perspective. Just like nutrition will make our body healthier, so will letting go. Yet we're already perfect if we can be present. It's just that distraction, sleep, etc. shifts our consciousness out of it. In a healthy state that will happen less.

I find it hard to understand "complete enlightenment". I imagine it as a state of mindlessness, no desire, no intention, no need. But perhaps it is not mindlessness but mindfulness. Perhaps it is perfect regretless alignment with oneself and the state of one's desires and knowledge? What about thoughts, are they not part of it? Contemplation, problem-solving? There might be no need, but to live one needs to navigate life. I am continuously letting go of more and more layers of resistance, so I feel like I'm getting more content and less needful or reality being different ways. Maybe some enlightened ones can accelerate my progress through guiding self-reflection pointers?

@Someone here I'll try to reflect the pointer I interpret from the others through some perspectives. The problem is, it's initially very anti-climactic. It's to stop thinking and conceptualizing reality, essentially "going outside to touch grass". I know we both are addicted to consciousness understanding, tracking it back through fractal dimensions and reverse engineering separate conscious reality bubbles and their relationship with our unconscious. What I believe the "other's" point to, is just being. Being like "aha" and looking around without a single thought, not needing anything to be the case, and extinguishing one's desires, at least in the moment. And then integrating that state of mind over longer time. "There is no self, so there is no agenda", "I am not this body, I am the conscious experience", "Information changes and is somehow communicated to me, but I need not act upon it", "everything is variable and relative". To think and reason is not to just be and exists calmly, this state of mind would reflect you having achieved everything you ever wanted, and just being content being.

But if you want to imagine solipsism, imagine that you are playing with yourself. You are this forum and everyone within it. Your avatar's perspective is easier to access but it's all just different yous, because you are the universe in control of a specific subset of itself experiencing itself through that lens. LET'S PLAY THE SOLIPSIST GAME, THIS ENTIRE FORUM IS YOU, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF: You're enthusiastically sharing your newest insight, then you're making fun of yourself for your hubris, then you're getting confused by yourself, then you're having a fun quarrel fighting with yourself, then you're justifying your hard work through more ego, then you're talking past yourself and dismiss yourself, you're humoring and aggravating yourself over yourself, you're imagining yourself creating other yous, you're wondering if you're you or if you is you (god and ego), you're confusing yourself about existing at different times simultaneously in different forms of yourself, you're getting annoyed at mind games, you're imagining yourself in higher consciousness making yourself less conscious, telling yourself that you're already a cardboard so you need be be something else, thinking about being a different form like a fractal and observing yourself, and finally you're hypothesizing that you can experience more of yourself by synchronizing yourself to yourself and becoming aware of more of yourself.

@Someone here Holism. Ideas emerge from a deeper reality and try to shape it egoically, but cannot change its nature, for they are a subset. Your mind fills itself with millions of ideas based on millions of experiences. Based on what? The Duality of Reality and Desire. Reality is only and ever itself. It does not delude you, only you can do that. How? By memorizing parts and pieces, intuiting their connections, getting complacent with your realizations and finally imposing those partial truth upon the whole. You are trying to define the whole of reality by one of its subsets and let it drive the purpose of everything. Ego is Attachment. Everything is infinitely interconnected. All ideas are true, for they exist, but they are partial and relative, incomplete, complacent. The truth is immutable and permanent, never lost and needs not be defended. We are lifeforms building systems bottom up to understand the nature of reality through the dualities we create, but they are just parts and interact infinitely with all other parts, understanding is infinite and never ends. Solipsism is an intuition, it is not your experience. You need to become aware that you are not you, you're not imagining others, something imagines reality, including you, your desires and preferences, fears and dreams are just as imaginary as the others you see. There is no distinction. Until you realize exactly how you create others and can predict their every word, you are not god, but a subset experiencing its opposite, through a selective filtering of god's consciousness we call the brain. But that's just part of it, all of reality is a navigation of qualia and you the consciousness within you adapts to it, to simulate it, forgetting, remembering, memorizing, and sense making just in the right way to make this coherent. Fear not to be alone, for aloneness is a property of separation, and united there is no loneliness. It's like fearing hunger when you're in an astral body that needs no food. It's like fear of death in a world without dying.

"I" "am" "attached" "to" "sharing" "insights" . separation | identity | belief | desire | perpetuation| need | stubbornness Before I write the next word, new insights change my whole trajectory. To hold onto them was always an ego game. Attachment breeds desire breeds attachment all over again. It's funny how I/we need excuses to accept the present truth.

I've learned much and there is much to learn. Or I could stop deluding myself and be enlightened now. But that would be very anti-climactic, don't wanna disappoint y'all. Besides all of you could do it, it's just about knowing how to want it. Cause once you want it, you can just be it. But we all need reasons to allow ourselves to be it. And the reasons must be more important than whatever our ego wants now that keeps us.

Here's some important points I had to be reminded of today: Insights do not inform reality, reality informs insights, attachment is ignorance causes suffering for truth is ephemeral (Buddhism) Consciousness transcends the physical body and is a vast fundamental reality manifesting itself through a million forms (Hinduism) If you are not precisely aware of how you construct physical reality, fear not to lose it. Once you have the power, it will be your decision. Ego-death is the mere act of easing yourself into accepting that which you already know to be the case, becoming authentic and alive. Free Will is a distraction. You fear to lose something, but it's only a concept. Nothing changes, except you becoming more in tune with yourself.

You guys are disturbing my inner Buddha. I never heard anything this accurate before... I ffeel... ATTACHMENT .. to that title. Oh no! My years of ego-death gone to waste

@Yimpa I just noticed. Damn, synchronicity hits hard

Understanding is as limitless as the infinite and infinitely divisible fractal of consciousness that spawns it. Everything is it, infinitely connected, infinitely contained, infinitely expressed. In all directions, forever and the human brain is one receptor and processor of experience, the qualia and state of mind acquired don't disappear, just become less accessible to the human who relies on their reality to maintain it. The simulation on the lowest level of qualia processing is all a grid of experience to form egos out of, but the broad net has the quality of complete remembrance.