StaraX

@bazera I had a very similar situation, except she didn’t find anybody new. First of all, notice how your mind creates these narratives like “she is so special” or “she is the only one.” The reality is that there are plenty of women who are better than her in every possible way. Also, the painful emotions you’re feeling right now won’t last forever. In the future, you’ll be much stronger. Just like iron that becomes tougher after being put into the fire. I suffer from OCD, and the pain in my chest felt like having a 50-pound bar pressing on it all day long. Remember, at this very moment, thousands of other men are experiencing the exact same emotions. Some men view this as an opportunity to find someone better. As a man, you should sleep with least 10–20 women to burn out the desire. Now is your opportunity to do that. I'd suggest to watch Leo's how to get laid videos (part 1-3) and seriously invest the time and energy required to solve this issue as a guy.

@LordFall What about the millions of others who have invested years of their lives to develop expertise in their chosen field? Being a master at hunting rabbits is pointless if there are no rabbits.

It is well known that fulfillment comes from being good at something, and thus developing mastery in at least one field is essential in order to feel fulfilled, to survive, and to escape wage slavery. My main concern is whether AI will disrupt this mastery–fulfillment relationship. I know many professionals in finance and accounting who have invested years, if not decades, developing mastery and the skills necessary to survive or break free from wage slavery, and who are now obsessively anxious about being replaced by AI in the coming years. And let’s not forget that accounting and finance are not easy fields, either in university or in practice. Also, these are just two fields that not too long ago were considered very promising. I remember attending seminars where people kept telling us that coding and data analytics skills were crucial and must be learned. Yet now we can see how good ChatGPT is at coding, regardless of the programming language. Are we facing a situation where people devote several years of their lives and make huge sacrifices (less family life, fewer beautiful women, less partying, etc.), only to have their reward be replacement by AI? If that is the case, do not expect healthy, conscious citizens in the future because there is no way in hell young people will tolerate it.

No. What elements?

@Natasha Tori Maru Again, you’d be more surprised to see Leo praising Trump’s insight on the Iraq War (2003) than to see a lion eating vegetables. Or praising Andrew Tate's insights on the harsh realities of dating. We're not talking about what someone can or cannot do. This is an entirely different matter.

@theleelajoker FYI, Leo actually believes he can see through people in a flash of a second. Not a joke. He’s been saying this very seriously in his episodes and on his blog. Not realistic? Don't blame it on me.

@Miguel1 That's a fair point. But why is it so heavily demonized here on Actualized.org to refer to Andrew Tate's dating and attraction advice? One could argue that he also has some solid insights. By the same logic, why don’t we then endorse the political views and practices of Hitler, Stalin, or Saddam Hussein, since even they contain some grains of truth? You see the problem? It won’t work to reply with something like, 'Yeah, but Sadia is nothing like them, it’s not even comparable!' Go study her character and the things she’s been saying, as well as the corruption in her business practices.

@Leo Gura A single video should be enough for someone who can evaluate people’s character in seconds.

It still baffles me to this day that Leo praised her so-called "insights" in his blogs. @Leo Gura can you really "sense" people's characters in seconds, after all? Your so-called INTP personality type or intuitiveness clearly wasn’t accurate in this particular situation. This is a reason why people value empirically proven facts.

@theleelajoker Thank you for your reply! Yes, everything you described about your ex applies here 100%. Her biggest concern throughout our 2,5‑year relationship was “feeling like a burden.” Even when I said something completely unrelated to her, her mind would convince her that she was a burden and didn’t deserve anything good. To be honest, I sensed this trait even before were dating. And yes, It’s tough. To be honest, my only hope at this point is that she’s doing all right and won’t repeat the same mistakes: dating sociopaths or toxic people in general. Although that’s her life and her decision. My goal isn’t one of those "how to get your ex back" types of things. But it would definitely make me extremely sad if what I mentioned were to happen to her again. She is one of those "weak women" that Leo described in his blog a few years ago... Very easy to manipulate, etc. Are you still in contact with your ex?

Last week, my 2.5-year relationship with my girlfriend ended. According to her, the reason she wanted to end it is because of her anxious attachment style. She literally texted me: "I can no longer feel safe and attached, and it's not fair towards you... I need more time to handle all this, and maybe we can stay in contact once in a while if you want to." This is the fourth time she has mentioned ending the relationship, but the first two times were more like: "Do you want to break up?" and "We should take a break."The third time was more serious, she even printed out a physical A4 letter stating that our relationship was over. Yet, we continued seeing each other afterward, and now this fourth time feels like a 100% breakup from my point of view. The strange part is that just before this final breakup, she seemed fine, even happy, with our long-term plans from the past two years. We had talked about buying a house, getting married, and so on. After the third "breakup," she even said, "I won't do this again." We had sex just three days before she sent the breakup message. Before that, we were still planning a trip to Rome and talking about all the cool stuff we would do there. I'm trying to keep this post as short as possible, but it's worth mentioning that she has experienced a lot of trauma. She was sexually abused in her mid-teens and has been raped more than three times in the past. She also had a difficult childhood and is generally very anxious. I remember when we used to live together nine months ago and when if I said something like, "This Saturday, my best friend is coming from Belgium, so we’ll need to move our date," she would get extremely anxious, sometimes even to the point of panic. Just because of that one Saturday. She also would often ask me questions like "You're not gonna ever leave me, right?". Yesterday she texted me and wrote, "I've been crying all day. I wish things had been different," and a few hours later, "I hope you and your parents are doing well." Today, she also texted me but deleted the message before I could see what she was writing. I know that when it comes to women, what they say in the context of relationships often isn't true. From a guy’s perspective, analyzing this kind of behavior is quite difficult. That’s why I’d like to hear your perspective. Thanks!

It's not exactly like that. First of all, most men don't aim for 10s, as they are extremely rare and require so much value from a man. I think most guys would be more than happy with 8s. But even women who are 8s still require a lot of value from a man. I wouldn't compare mating and reproduction to wanting a Lamborghini because the latter doesn't even come close when it comes to the hierarchy of needs.

Being pragmatic is all about identifying the desired outcome and then implementing the most effective strategies and principles to achieve it. Happiness is a feeling that includes many components. But one thing is certain: if a man is unable to get laid for several years, happiness becomes nearly impossible. Obviously, one cannot be happy if their basic needs are not met. As for love, a woman will not love you until you have sex with her. From my point of view, the biggest struggle for most guys is not the maintenance phase aka maintaining the relationship. The biggest struggle is the attraction phase.

@theleelajoker If the goal is to get good with women and sleep with high-quality women on a regular basis, the most effective way to achieve that is through building a strong social circle and increasing your status. Status as well as being somewhat known or famous is the most efficient and optimal route to attracting high-quality women. Also, one thing women find extremely attractive is seeing other women attracted to you. You can host parties where you invite a lot of attractive women, and as the host and leader of the event, create an environment where other women naturally perceive you as desirable. Now, if you struggle with social anxiety or you're very introverted, focus on addressing that first. Once you're more socially comfortable, work on creating a large, vibrant social circle and positioning yourself as a high-status individual. It also helps if she sees you surrounded by other high-status people. I know Leo's advice is to go out every week and approach thousands of women over the course of two years. Personally, I don’t recommend that route, because most men can't handle the emotional toll that comes with constant rejection. Besides, high-quality women usually require significantly more value from you compared to average women. That’s why I believe building a strong social circle and focusing on status is the best way to be successful in dating as a guy.

@Lyubov I don't know whether you're a guy or a girl, but as a guy, I can say that when you're trying to get better with women and achieve your desired outcomes, the advice you give doesn't really work for the average guy. Improving with women as an average guy is extremely challenging and usually requires years of effort. Most guys simply can't handle the emotional pain that comes with the process. Saying things like "Just let it go" isn't very practical in this context.