TheGod

The last time I saw my father when I was 4 years, therefore I never got to have a proper masculine figure in my childhood. I was raised by my mom and my grandmother who basically made me into a good-guy, whose job was pleasing them and never make them upset about anything. I think somehow I was reminding my mom and my granny about my father so they would always try to bring him up to pin point my bad behavior. From the stories about my dad that my mom told me, he was an irresponsible fuck-boy. When I was very little he would disappear for days to see other women and didn't give a fuck about me or about my mom. So I was programmed to subconsciously believe that men are the issue and the women are all good and flowers and all suffering that couples suffer is mostly caused by these "bad" men. I genuinely felt compassion towards women and of course I idealized them. When I hit teenage years I wasn't seen by girls, which was very surprising to me because I was trying to be nice with them, but it wasn't like I was pretending to be nice, I genuinely was nice to them. Instead, the girls were crazy about the guys from my class who were making jokes, laughing loudly or doing boxing. Some of them had Police visits as well. I felt lonely because I wanted attention because of my childhood experiences where I always needed my mom's attention. But she was busy proving herself through sleeping with random guys she would meet at the restaurant where she worked as a server. Anyways, in my early twenties I started reading books about pick-up and watch videos (but not too intensely). I even started approaching women but I only approached like 200 women in my life (which is not that much). Again, all this time I had been believing that women are perfect creatures and are good but they just have no luck because of bad men. Nevertheless, all my female friends were crazy about guys who were toxic and didn't give a fuck about them. I have a friend of mine, he is a close friend but he suffers sexual addiction. I think he has slept at least with a few hundreds women or even more. Every time I ask him how he does it he tells me the stories. The key point in his perspective is he sees women as walking vaginas and if one says no he doesn't care. Lately, I was finally able to crack my view on women and a few days ago it was a very painful realization. I realized that my idealization of women was very far from being truth and women I was so longing for were only real in my imagination. Women like confidence, lead and masculinity, especially in the beginning. They need it to develop attraction. Once they develop it they need all the other qualities society is talking about being nice. But before that if you are just nice you are a looser. This is the truth. It hurts me a lot because my authentic personality is very soft, emotional and compassionate. I am 28 but I sleep with a baby cow toy I bought a few years ago (she's very cute) and I like watching movies about love or listening taylor swift and I also cry easily if something touches my heart. I am not a stone, I am water. I am not playing victim here, I am facing the truth that most of the women have never been attracted to these soft qualities of mine and never will be. They need a knight with a sword but not a guy who sleeps with a baby cow and imagines his ideal gf. I do feel hate about it, but I can't hate women for what they are because it was me who had wrong perception of them. And they are not evil. From survival perspective it makes a lot of sense. It's the same as for men not being attracted to visually unattractive women, no matter how good as a person she is. I have a colleague at work and she is a very nice girl, she has all the qualities guys would want in a girlfriend, but her looks are bellow average so she's also single. And I feel for her, because she also longs for relationship but can't find a guy.

Natural approach isn't something universal and depends on the society you're currently finding yourself. My approach is natural in specific countries and continents where being direct is considered normal and not creepy. I'm moving to a county like that next October

I need to approach more women to be able to filter out bimbos

I definitely will, because I read these books 7 years ago

I value Integrity as well and what it means for me is to have personal qualities actualized and pronounced in the self even if they are polar. My softness is part of my personality and it doesn't exclude my strength. If you think that softness and vulnerability is the same as being weak and frail but you just fall into assumptions.

See I value authenticity so if women feel repulsed by me sleeping with a toy I can't help it because I am who I am even if it kills some dating opportunities for me.

I read no more Mr. Nice guy and the way of the superior man few years ago. Nice books. My coworker has given up on dating after having dated a few assholes. Her first bf who was also her first sex told all of their friends how inexperienced she was in bed and it was her first time. Fucking asshole.

I've been having a lot of insights on dating, mating and perception of women recently. Since I started practicing semen retention, cleared up my diet and started exercising daily I have become way more conscious than usual. My mind is sharp as a knife and very still. I realized that most of my interactions with women are very biased and filtered through unconscious sexual drive. I see how different I am with women I am not attracted to vs the ones I am interested in. Needless to say, semen retention has cleared out a lot of things, now when my libido stabilized after having watched porn for so long I can see women a little more objective but still, I'm very positive that no straight man can see women the way they are because survival runs very deeply.

I hope the goat enjoyed it

I don't understand your point at all my friend

Leo you should try semen retention at least for a month to see what it can give to you. Yes you feel very horny but it comes in waves. Most of the time I feel peaceful and very alert and I'm way more conscious also. Do you think Ramana Maharshi was jerking off? I higly doubt it.

SR seems to be a very personal experience. I know a lot of guys who have no benefits from SR but in my case I obviously do. I feel like the beauty of consciousness is shining brighter through forms on SR. It feels more alive.

Have you done a heroic dose yourself ?

It is a very good sign. I always have almost 0 visuals on mushrooms and I've done them more than 50 times starting from 1.5 to 8 grams. Reality is already a hallucination

Perfect ! I will use your precaution as a plan hahaha

I've done 5-MeO-DMT multiple times and I even watched corn in a breakthrough God mode on it multiple times (You can't imagine what kind of experience it turns into when you become the guy and the girl and the watcher at the same time. Very crazy spiritual experience). Ever since, I've had this crazy fantasy of having sex while vaping 5MeO-DMT at the same time. Needless to say, finding a girl who could be down for it is rather unrealistic for me. I was wondering if you had such an experience and how was it? The idea of recognizing me in her whilst having sex and her recognizing her in me is a huge turn on for me. This experience is on my bucket list.

I know right

If you see sexism and misogyny in my post you are far behind someone who's opinion I would consider regarding my character, so you can keep it for yourself girl

It's been 6 months since my last trip. I really miss infinite love that I am. 5MeO-DMT trips were the most beautiful, the most loving and the most terrifying experiences that I had in my life. Everything else in life fails in comparison. I was wondering if there was a way to be in that love state without psychedelics. Please, before you answer, make sure you've been on at least 50 trips on 5MeO-DMT and understand what I am talking about. Thank u

high conscious girls as real as chupacabra

Exactly! It's always the case anyways, you are just not conscious of it.

After all my 100+ trips and everything I read in spiritual books all I understand is that I don't understand anything at all. Pure understanding of not understanding

You know it's the same story every time since the very first trip on 5MeO-DMT. I vape it until I breakthrough and then I always choose to come back. After living life for a while I soon realize that life is nonsense and nothing satisfies me and then I go and do 5 MeO DMT again just to find myself in the same situation of wanting to come back. The thing that chooses to come back isn't ego, because in those states there is no time or ego or anything just burning ass raping infinite love. So I am not even sure if my desire to awaken is actually God's desire, it seem it's Ego

no, cute is fine. But telling her that you would want to have sex with her it's a different story. Even if you do it politely with a smile lol

It'd take me probably 24/7 hours