Spiritual Warrior

This is exactly what I sent: "Hi _____, ______ and ______ are having a Halloween party at their house in ________ on Saturday and I was just wondering if you would like to come" No response. She also knows the people throwing the party so I thought that it would make her super comfortable, but I do see your point. Maybe the party invite wasn't the best idea, shes also 33 so might not be her scene. Would she have responded to a coffee or bar invite? Not sure... Maybe I was scared of taking her out on a real date... so I took the easy route and invited her to a party... This is what I said to the second girl that I met at a bar and talked to for 15 minutes. "Whats up ______. This is Ben from the bar. I found this pottery place in _______ where they give you supplies and you get to mess around and make stuff for a couple of hours. Would you like to go with me?" And I put the link to the place. No response. I remembered that she enjoys doing pottery, so I thought this would be a cool date idea. I probably didn't create enough comfortability between the two of us to ask her out on a date immediately. Maybe in this situation I should be conversing with her a little bit through text before asking her out. The problem with this is that I don't enjoy texting... I just want to talk in person.

Thank you everybody, I found this very beneficial and comforting and I appreciate the time and energy that you all put into this. Here are my lessons learned from all of you: It is normal to not get responses back from my texts. Things that I can do to get more responses back: Lead better at the first interaction, I want to be planning our future together right from the tip off. Getting laid can actually be the take off point into having an intimate relationship. So maybe I should just start trying to lead the girl into having sex with me. Maybe there is nothing wrong with this and it is actually how it works... We all love sex. I need more volume. 2 numbers in two weeks is NOT ENOUGH It's about the journey. Going through the ups and downs of this work is the real reward. Don't get too attached to one particular girl. You are meant to be with that special someone but that will come at the end of the pick up rainbow. Buckle in and enjoy the ride. And I trudge on...

Yes.... I love this. I just learned about this in my dance instructor training... You want to implant a vision of the future in your students mind... when it comes to pickup.. you want to implant a vision of our future together in the girls mind. It's the same idea. Nice insight, thank you.

I want a serious relationship though, not trying to get laid

Take a dance class and attend weekly. If you take this seriously, you will get very good and will absolutely kill it at social gatherings. You will be able to walk up to any girl at the venue with a cheeky smile and ask them to dance with you because you'll know you're the shit. I'm a dance instructor, I've seen guys change their confidence in dancing from 0 to 100 in just a few months. NOBODY knows how to dance because no one actually takes the time and money to learn from a real instructor. Put in the work, put in the time and you can be a phenomenal dancer.

The warrior trudges on, not knowing which demon he will face next. The counterintuitive nature of this work is that it is all the same thing. There is no difference between pursuing material desires and pursuing lofty spiritual ones, they are one and the same, and both paths are leading to the exact same place. From God: Have fun in the dream state, that is why I have put you here... you can dream up anything that you like... and if you don't like the current dream that you are in, dream up another one... the possibilities are endless. You will realize that you are God when you are good and ready. You never want to say "I should do this" or "I should do that" there are no obligations in this world. You are free to do as you please. Let your spirit guide you down the path.

I am posting in here to address that I will be taking a break from spiritual enlightenment work. The truth is that I am having a lot of fun in the dream that I am in right now. I am having fun with my job as a dance instructor, I am having fun chasing women around and trying to get them on dates, I am having fun pursuing money and a better life, I am having fun connecting with people, all of this is a trip, I want to continue dreaming. I have a baseline understanding of what this spiritual work entails and what it is all about. I understand it conceptually. These things are important and I think that they will help me immensely in the long run as I will get sick of pursuing material desires at some point. That is when I'll dive back into the spiritual work, when I'm 35 or 40. Right now, I'm young and trying to make a name for myself, let this shit ride. This dream is fun, have fun in it. I don't want to wake up just yet. Dear future Ben, I will do whatever it takes to master the skills that I need to master early on so that you can focus on higher, lofty ideals when you are ready. I will work hard for you, with integrity and nobility and honesty. Good luck to you and everybody in this life. We all deserve to be happy and to have our dreams actualized. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

Transcending the Spiral - Journal Entry #13 - Sun Oct 29th '23 : Music Stage Red: Fighting for survival, getting hyped, screaming, growling, hollering Stage Blue: Devotion, hard work, contributing to a higher cause or purpose Stage Orange: Flowey, smooth, bragadocious, charismatic, charming Stage Green: This song symbolizes a person reaching the breaking point of orange, the person has a quarter life crisis, realizes that all of this stuff that he or she has been striving for is all meaningless, he/ she does something radical like shaves his/her own head and is now ready to pursue something else, i.e. stage green, love, compassion, spirituality.

What do you think women in general want out of a long term relationship? Of course personalities and values vary and everyone's unique, but what are some patterns that you've found?

Hi all, I met a girl at a wedding last night, we danced all night and I would pull her to the side every once in a while and chat for a few minutes. I got her number at the end of the night. She is very reserved and quiet and shy. What is a good first date idea? She seems very into me so I know that she will answer positively, I'm just trying to figure out what kind of date would make her the most comfortable. She seems inexperienced and I don't want to overwhelm her. Should I try to go back to a salsa dancing club? This is my specialty, I'm a good dancer. I could also have a buddy come with me and bring a girl. Not sure if that would make her more or less comfortable though? I could go for a coffee date, but I feel like thats taking a step backwards as we were dancing very intimately on the dance floor. A coffee date is very casual, not really what I want to do anyway, so I think this one's out. I could take her to a bar and try to incorporate some hopping around, grab a bit here, grab a drink here, walk around for a little bit, etc. I could combine 1 and 3, take her out for a drink, maybe a bite, walk around a little bit so that we get some alone time and then make our way to meet up with my buddy and dance at the salsa club. I would love some input from any of you, thank you.

Don't you think spirituality makes you a more empathetic person? Which would make you a more compassionate and loving partner?

What is a "normie"?

I struggle to be genuinely happy for other people's success. For example, my best friend just got married and the whole time when they were doing their dance, I was thinking about this other girl that I wanted to ask to dance or how I looked in other people's eyes. I couldn't focus on the happiness that the couple shared with each other. Another example is, this girl is getting a lot of dance lessons and is doing a great job. Meanwhile, I still haven't been given my first lesson, I find it very difficult to be happy for her because I am jealous of her success. I understand conceptually that other people's success is the same as my own, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way. I am able to feel genuinely happy for other people sometimes but I usually need to be doing well myself. For example, if I am playing well in my basketball game, things are flowing, then I am capable of being genuinely happy for the success of the other players. However, if I am not playing well then I am like fuck everyone else, I only care about myself. I think this is shining a light on how selfish I truly am and how much growing I still need to do. Of course I shouldn't beat myself up, this is just where I'm at, there's nothing wrong with it.

Sounds sick! I don't have any advice just want to wish you best of luck 🙂

This is stage Blue: hard work, discipline, no excuses

@Pav thanks for taking the time to write so much, I enjoyed hearing your perspective and you make some very good points. For me personally, I do still find use in the law of attraction, mainly in the sense that if I continually think "it sucks that i don't have a girlfriend" then I will continuously attract not having a girlfriend because I am focusing on that. If I can flip this pessimistic thought into an optimistic one like "I attract beautiful women into my life" whether through visualizations or affirmations, then my mind will find ways of making this a reality. That is what I get out of the law of attraction, focus on positivity and you will attract positivity, focus on negativity and you will attract negativity. Bottom line is that this works for me and it doesn't work for you. Nothing wrong with that, we are all different.

Leo is taking a break for personal well being reasons. I think he is working on a new course and his book on the side, but nothing will be coming out any time soon. We need to give him some space.

The law of attraction is like the prerequisite that you need to understand and embody prior to taking action. If I were to have negative thoughts (pessimism, anger, helplessness) about a situation that I am in then I will be discouraged from taking action, if I can have positive thoughts about a situation (hopefulness, optimism, positive expectations) then this will spur me into taking more action. I agree that you're recommendation to achieving success will work, but I think you should give the law of attraction some more attention. The universe will also find ways of helping you out if you set your intention on something, life isn't as mechanical as you think. Remember, life is like an infinite mind, everything is connected.

This is a story about a working man that has devoted his life to his family. His sole purpose is to make sure that they survive, to keep the wolves away. This is integrity, this is honor, this is nobility. The workin' man.

You will though. Things will get better. Think back to past hard times, things always get better.

I don't think there's anything wrong with believing that you are meant to be with one person... but that would mean that you'd have to accept the fact that every girl that doesn't work out isn't the one that you're meant to be with. If you can truly accept this, then you wouldn't be attached to the outcome of the relationship with one particular girl. If it doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to work out... you lick your wounds and collect as many lessons as you can... and you trudge on.. The warrior has more demons to slay before he finds his princess.

Move on brother. Your next venture will be more fulfilling and exciting than anything she can give you. I've held onto my exes many times, hoping that some day it would work out... It never did. Holding onto an ex is a great way of distracting yourself from pursuing a new person or new venture... because that would be too scary. Find a way to embrace the unknown, become comfortable with it and move into it.. and on top of it.

@Sandhu thank you for sharing, I got value out of this. I like the idea of writing a letter to my mom expressing how I feel and then throwing it away

Might be using you to make someone else on social media feel jealous. I've unfortunately done that one before

If you're thinking about how she will respond then you will give off a needy vibe to her. This is something that I am working on myself, not being needy for the girls approval (or anyone's approval for that matter) while interacting with her. That is much more important than figuring out what the woman wants from you. Figure out how to not be needy, that is the real challenge, that is the root solution.