Should i let go of my boyfriend to reach enlightenment?, because we are long distance relationship, and he's enlightened so it doesn't affect him much as it does for me, because I'm still an ego, we've been dating for a year and more (months) , we didn't meet in real life til now ( due to some job and studies circumstances, maybe the universe didn't want us to meet) , and i want him around,I want his presence, and even if emotions are evil i still want him to comfort me emotionally (I don't know,I can't help it 🙄 excuse me I'm not enlightened yet), and we are on a 9 or so year difference, another thing is that i have anxious attachment issues, I still haven't faced being lonely again ( because in childhood i was always alone, maybe i was and still a little bit autistic, I chose it because I'm overly sensitive and understand people's bad intentions and their hypocrisy, I was overly rude before because i couldn't lie ), we both value marriage and that was the plan at first, but our families have different religions, and he's so far away so both couldn't meet, i also didn't want to lie to myself and stop my studies,I wanted to know the truth,I also have adhd so excuse me for this messy paragraph 😅, I know you'll tell me that i should figure things on my own but i think it'll be nice to have some help or advice, hope i won't face judgments because I'm really stuck , I take this matter seriously. ( I also know that spending time on the phone waiting anxiously for his messages isn't too wise).
