Sabth

I also want work just so I can do something everyday day to day. So I won't be doing nothing. So that I have a routine. Just like going to school everyday. Like a teacher and student. (high school). Their life are filled.

I just didn't know how to start. Yea it's been months. My dream job is to be a ______ & a _____. But now I'm thinking I wanna be an editor. But just for my own self (I don't wanna do editing work for others). So I wanna edit my own videos. I also like things like editing a magazine. (I've done this before in school like creating our own magazine from scratch. Even writing the whole thing.) I think my dream job would be to make my own video like a documentary series or a travel video. I like these things. But I couldn't start it. When I was younger, all these are organic to me. And even when I was in my university, it was organic. I would make videos. Like a research thing. And it was fun. But now, I no longer had all these.. if I wanna start I would have to be rich first. I don't know how to get a job in editorial. I like everything including photography. Research. Etc. This would be ideal. I would even considered mass comm back then when I consider of changing my course. But now, I also had the scientist in mind. Being a scientist. Just taking a degree in pure science and do it all over again. Like in high school. This might give me a guaranteed path. Like I will just have to follow it and will be successful if I do everything right. Like a path that is already given. But other than that, idk. Which make me took architecture before. Because design work is just like a promising career. And it's the only things I know. Unlike sciences. Which are more experimental. So idk. Right now, I wish I could be like any other person who can do just any types of works as long as it's working. Idk how to do it. Do I go to a mall? Or a supermarket and ask for works? **I've already have a driving license.

I really hv no more passion to create art.

And can we go there? How?

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Is it weird that I don't know anyone apart from my parents and siblings? I don't have any other social circle. I started to feel terrible with this. Back then, I do have, though I like to keep my life private. But now I am completely detached. And I don't know what to do.

It's precisely because I'm alone I can't do activities. I'm looking for someone who can drive me to a walk, or someone to workout together. Or work together, or travel together. @meta_male It seems like my family aren't into all these anymore..

So that I could know which degree to take and planned beforehand? I'm thinking of doing something. Something that is a promising career..

I don't know.. I just felt really hopeless right now.. it's been a while since I've ever met anyone of my age. How can I even find someone from my country to have activities with?

The doctor called me and I said I don't wanna go any longer. She told me to come just one more time to say that to the doctor that I wanna discontinue but I'm never stepping into that hospital any longer. Never. (Or they might force me to be in again) f no. I am so happy right now , to be off medication.

From this dream I can deduce ; I am lost. I can't get out of it. Since I don't finish my degree, I couldn't find my way out of my university. At all. So I was lost. My sister (both my elder sisters took the same university) can find her way, whatever that is, but she is with her family and is on a way to somewhere. Boarding the ferry/ship. However scary/dangerous that seems. But she's getting somewhere.. while I'm still lost in this uni. If I were to still be taking architecture I won't be in a good place. This thing is old. And I won't be in a good place ever. (Seeing everything are like almost falling apart. Like the building. With an unfinished plastering). It seems really old. So I might better be taking a different course. I want, I want i want I want I want to be resurrected with my singers. And my friends. It seems really good. But what I did was exploring further. Maybe even following my sister's route. (So I met her in my lost area) idk. So I was lost. I like the beginning of the dreams more than the end I wanna be resurrected with my singers. And never get lost. Even during 2019, I was listening to her. Everything else changes but we didn't. I'm still listening to her. Despite my circumstances. And this year she will come to my faraway state. I love her so much>< But these songs are 2019.

I think if my father were to die I would be really sad. 2:01AM

I also wanna buy this powerslide pheme. Dream board (3)

Do I seems lost? Why

This is just an old thing that I used to do. But now, as I'm getting older, maybe , maybe I could no longer do these. I don't know... I just wanna spend this year end in Egypt. It will be cold weather. And I wanna go to Sinai and everything. It will be good memories.. And then I will play this song. And then I will also play this song ; This song is so 2020. carry on your destiny

It has been a while, a long time since I've create anything. A video or any editing. I bought a stabiliser a long time ago but I don't know if it can still be used now. It's been too long. A Glidecam.. I wanna practice doing all these again. But I need a new camera. I have this. I'm still using this instead of the automatic ones.

I wanna repurchase this Sony nex5r If it's still available. Wherever it is . And this : DJI spark And this :

I wanna go to Egypt. And then create a cinematic video. This is my dream board (1)

My Saudi Arabian Riyal that I kept as a kid.(2005) Now this money had been stolen. I only have a video of it that I took back in 2020. So only a video of it was left.

I am always amazed at the USA one dollar print, it says "IN GOD WE TRUST" I thought America is the place people don't believe in God the most but their money had God element in it.

For my recent travel, Oman, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, all of those are stolen.

I've never been to the United States , but I got one dollar.

Some of the money from Egypt that I kept. I love to keep money from every country that I went to as a child. But half of those money are stolen/went missing. Now I only have a picture of it. I don't spent my money but keep it. As a memories.. But a lot of my money are stolen.. Money that I kept as a child.. I'm gonna create my dream board here. Since it will be hard to print stuff up.

I don't hv any, currently. I just want to hv a toned body, so , working out? Idk. But I'm not able to do this.

I am really, new here. I can't even go anywhere without having my parents to send me anywhere. So, it's kind of weird. To ask them to send me, to any places. I think I should be able to go anywhere freely first. Unless if I was in a different state/city idk how to go anywhere by myself. And I don't think I would enjoy that. Where do I find same-aged people like during hs or university? I couldn't. I guess. Even if I did it will be people younger than me.