Sabth

Can Korean skincare make my skin really good? I don't feel like so . I just feel like it. Or maybe I had to try it first and see. But I don't feel like it.

March 9th 2024, 11:33PM

I'm afraid that I am not spending time with my family much. Things wouldn't be the same sometime , later.

I made a lot of these :

3:49AM I dreamed of.... I don't know. Being like a Christian missionary riding on a bike on the road. I was afraid. .. it wasn't at all easy. And it seems like the people I'm with is those from my previous high school. And I saw a friend... I'm afraid that she had felt bad with me because sometimes this year or last year, she came to my house at night, and I didn't see her. I was cleaning up my room and I want to take a shower before I met her. But we didn't meet that night. We're actually a neighbour and I was in a upper high school with her. That, I know. We live near. Of course , of course I want to meet her. It's not at all that I don't wanna see her. I just wasn't prepared tht night. But now I'm afraid that she had felt bad about me cuz I don't see her that night. When she came to my house. In my dream I saw her. With my other classmates. Idk. We are on the road riding a bicycle. (I am riding a bike there are many others who walk). And people like us. Idk.. idk what's up with this dream.. should I meet her?

This can only fits the smallest notes , Idk

There is no weird sounds tonight. First , I sleep with the lights on and the air conditioner on. And then I woke up at 3 AM , a little bit late. Not at 2 AM so I am not the first living being to be woken up in the middle of the night. (Unlike the night before. It felt like I am the only one awake). Then I heard the dogs barking. Now this time the dogs is awake. If you wait a little longer , you will hear the chickens somewhere far away. In a distance.

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I tend to sleep until 12 pm because I don't know what to do with my life.

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*censored* . 6:51AM 21 April 2024 *censored* 🦩 ♣️ *censored* 💓 8:18PM 21st April 2024 : I really love last year especially towards the end. It is when Taeyeon's album came out. So when I listen to this song now, it reminds me of those times. It was when my brother got engaged. And we travelled. Those memories. I like it. It reminds me of last year. And I'm eager to have the year end. Because the previous year I couldn't experience it. So I really like last year. I wish I can experience Christmas in New York or something. And celebrate the new year. Even though I didn't , it still feel good. This year? Idk. But I make like a short video, back then , during those moments. So it reminds me of back then. Last year. (I use those songs) So now when I listen to it I remember it again. I like last year. 🖤 Anyway, recently , I saw that x is making a concert tour in Bangkok. And I thought I wanna go (even though I'm not really sure about it. Idk if it's really a concert I would enjoy. Or no) , so I searched all the schedule and the cost of going to Bangkok for this concert. It wouldn't be more than 3k. (If you want a good trip then it would be 3k . If more budgety then ,around 2k. ) And I asked my mom if I could go. I don't have money anyway so I asked my mom if I could go. I don't really feel like I wanna go to this concert yet, because there could be someone better. Like a future concert with x or something. This singer is a little old. So idk. I may like, like his concert in Japan before. Idk if the quality had decreased. Or if it wouldn't be too fun if it's in Bangkok and not Japan.

Back then I feel like I am always being followed. I felt something's presence. It appeared to be louder when I am alone and not with my family (when they are not around). I got this a lot as a child/young kid. I hear breathes a lot. Until I went to a place where there are others. I guess they like young kids because now I no longer had it. Back then I could felt the presence of God ,angels and demons. It just felt like there are other beings other than the seen. The spirit world. But now I no longer felt it. And I used to have a recurrent dream of flying /floating. It was a theme I had throughout childhood and adulthood. But then , I grow out of it.

I wanna live in x.

Yesterday I had received my packages and today I had received too. I'm still waiting for my skincare from China. And another thing from china. That would be , maybe a while. Ten days? Maybe. So today I just tried the ones that has arrived. ♣️

I wish I can buy everything that I've ever wanted . But, I wish I work. But,

My another order has arrived. It was my 9 step skincare. I have bought all except one. The most expensive one.

My order from Korea has arrived and another from local state has arrived too waaa.

My order had been cancelled yesterday It has arrived in my state even since 8th April but wasn't delivered to my house. And now it was cancelled after three failed delivery and was sent back to the seller all the way back to China🤦🏻‍♀️. I had already imagined all the things I could do with it. It's really lame. This courier. I had placed this order since 2 April.

What should I do? It could have been my sister.

That's 19 years in the making.

8-26 years old - it's gone~