Sabth

I have wrote about some nasty things about how I don't wanna have anything to do with someone who is in contact with someone whom I don't wanna have anything to do with. Because you are who you spent your time with. You became them and they became you. This is the reason why I limit my contact back then. During COVID. I no longer wanna be in contact with them because they are in contact with someone whom I don't wanna have anything to do with. I see it how they turns to become each other. And I don't wanna be like the other person. So I keep myself furthest away.

I shouldn't have asked my mom who took my diaries , because she could have been one of them . /The ones who took it. Silly me. Fuck.

Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon Curse be upon

What DID I DO? ......... D*mn. I hv wrote a whole lot of paragraph but it got erased when I click "back". Usually the forum will saved your draft but this it's missing. Basically I just said that I don't wanna do anything in this house or start anything because it will be pointless anyway. It will be stolen and destroyed and many more ugly things will happen. I can't start doing anything in this house. It is cursed. I can't keep all the good amazing things in this house. There's a theft going on. To the already poor me ~ * I also write about, in self care I needed about $114k in self-care .

Life Audit Health Poor Finances I only have $116. And I don't make money. Personal development Meh. Poor. Career I don't have a career and a university. Relationships I don't have friends only family. Self care Don't have money to buy skincare upgrades. Home Needed a renovation. Don't want this home. Want my own home because of the theft that's happening. Life Poor. Free time Always free. But trapped Couldn't do anything. Life : poor , good.

I shall look into this more.

And now , My quality of life right now is - 10 Would killing myself be better - 2

This is what I've wrote in 28 December last year 2023 : ( I was looking for it fo long but only now found it. I can only remember it by memory. But now I've found it) ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Good healthcare Clean and safe housing Healthy food A job that pays a living wage. Dentist A house Food A job personal health (physical, mental, and spiritual), relationships, education status, work environment, social status, wealth, a sense of security and safety, freedom, autonomy in decision-making, social-belonging and their physical surroundings. My quality of life right now is - 3 Would killing myself be better - 10 I want another life, another body, another soul, another spirit. I will put an end to this spirit. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• This is what I've wrote , and found last year.

Nah. I still have lost a lot.

It's okay for the remaining 12 days I wanna do my best.

I don't know I'm lacking a lot. This month.

I'd rather not buy it than to buy it an expensive price. (When I can get it at $8 dollar). Lol Should I just buy it at a markup price? But that's not what it worth. Should I?

Yesterday, I want to buy this really pretty red plum rose thing that cost only about $8.2 , but today I saw it again and it's sold out. The colour that I want. And there was a local shop which sold the same thing but the price is mark-up to $16.4 dollar. So I don't know . While I want that colour, I don't know if it's worth it to buy it at that price when I can get it yesterday at half the price. So yeah. Silly me. For not buying it yesterday.

I wonder if these books can make me a millionaire.

Look at Taeyeon : she's so pretty, she's 35.

You know, like when I feel like I can still feel like a child , those who are around me are getting married, going to the next stage of life. Etc. But sometimes I am just lost in my own world. Not realizing that I'm getting older now.

In my heart I will have still these feelings. .... That somebody steal my things..

I am extremely, super, nervous meeting my sister in law. My younger brother's wife. Hoh. What is this feelings? I am trembling. In fear. I don't know. But this is the first time that she's coming to my house. (Instead of we going to their house). So it's a bit a weird feeling. I don't know. And my brother are surrounded by sisters so we are all girls. My sisters are all married. So it was just me my mom her and my sisters. It was all female only. My brother came in a bit late so it was more awkward. I don't know. He was not there. Only her. So idk. What is this feeling? Oh. I was indeed nervous. My only thought is, it could be the thief that's coming back. Or when we all gathered, it's one of us... Who steals.... and I will have a fire burning inside of me.

I want to lose weight so badly.

I am waiting in the front room for one hour for my package to arrive only to find it delivered Infront of my room 🤦🏻‍♀️probably delivered by my father or something. Heh I just have to give up and go to my room. It is already inside the house. Lame. So lame~\>

I have so much that I want to buy~

I don't know. Weird dream. It seems like the place is attacked by fire or something. I don't know . But I went inside a Chinese school. Then I woke up. I don't know why I'm here. Quite weird. I woke up at eleven am. Barely had any sleep last night. I don't think I sleep. And as soon as I wake up, call the courier about my undelivered parcel. Last night at 11:30PM it says it was delivered. But I went out and it hasn't. Well maybe today. I thought I wanna call as soon as possible at 7:00 am but I woke up at 11:00 🤤 .

I want to hike. And I want to run.

Maybe the best place or heaven is a place which is known for its seafood and sea life. I saw a seafood cooking channel on Instagram and thought that it was really good. Now I want to have some spicy crab or lobster or prawn so badly. I asked my mom to cook some seafood anytime and she said ok. I can't believe it. I can request a food anytime I want. Hahah . Nah. https://www.instagram.com/theshellfishcook?igsh=OWF6M3FxbjJ6ejdp

It's the oldest that we've ever been!! ~~