theleelajoker

Very interesting indeed. And kinda scary.

French are the international standards for measuring the degree of embarrassment. They never feel embarrassed and this is why they are so popular around the world. ( I am joking I agree that it's not a big thing )

Why avoiding the answer? "It's a God forsaken question" is not a reason LOL Why not answering an "easy god forsaken question" yourself? If you feel attacked I don't understand why.

What's the purpose, the intention of asking this question? Is there any answer that will make you happy? Or any information that will help you in some way? Or is it just entertainment? Simply curious...

This perspective I like the most

Interesting stuff

OK so I can't say for your particular case of sexual abuse. Don't know if it's helpful if I just say what helps/ helped me to deal with difficult experiences/ trauma?

For me - in this current phase and state -it's exactly this subtleness. I don't really think about it until there's a situation, a conversation and then there's this subtle return of recognition: Ah, yes. Ah, yes, that again. Alright. Ok yeah I did not think about it, I was in "functioning mode" - but I can't forget entirely"

I think it's a mechanisms oh reality. For sth to enter your life, it needs to be connected somehow to sth previous. It's not really meaningful per se, the meaning is created by you and not in the event itself. A guy once wrote here "reality is a simulation created around you" - that's a good description IME. I attached meaning to it in the past, now I do it less and less and just see it as a mechanic reflection and connection to other stuff in my life.

At first I voted "don't know". Then I started typing the reasons for my vote. After a while I realized it's "yes" and changed my vote. Compared to some months or years ago, there are situations where I can't take people as serious as before. As of today, it's more subtle and not as present as it was e.g. directly after last meditation retreat, and it was not like that when I started my "spiritual work". But all in all: yes my empathy decreased. Not as in sharing and understanding the feeling of others. I still can do that, and connect with others, even more than before all spiritual stuff. But sometimes I notice I care less because I see more the form, more the universal "it" and less an individual in front of me. There is a situation I remember that perfectly illustrates my experience: Few months ago, there was a networking event, and I got to know a girl. She was nice, we had a really good conversation and clearly connected on many topics. More than you usually do when you just meet someone new. I liked her, but not in a romantic/sexual way she was "only" good company. I think at some point she was checking what kind of interest/intention I have & what kind of connection we have. Because it's easy to misinterpreted good conversation, connecting etc for romantic interest. So she asked me if connect like that with many people. I said yes. It was true because I was still in a very open state after last meditation retreat. And in this state connecting and quick bonding happened almost automatic for me in many situations. I could then feel a shift in her voice and energy, and it didn't seem to be her but felt like something deeper talking. She then said: "If you connect to many people like that, doesn't it then become very arbitrary?" When she said it, it hit me instantly. She was right. Yes it does become arbitrary. Because it felt like I'm not really connecting to her as an individual human being, but more to a reflection, a form, a universal..."it". It didn't feel special. I didn't really notice the "abitrary" effect before she said it, but I became aware of that when she did. I came down from that intense state since last retreat, but sometimes this recognition of "oh ok there it is, it's just "it" in a new form, it's a reflection, it's not special" comes back. Happened just two days ago with a random guy I met. It's still nice, I'm thankful for meeting people & connecting with them. Clearly better than not meeting and not connecting. But I care less about it. That's why I voted "yes". Wished it was different. But it is what it is.

I don't believe this is true. What about Luka Doncic for instance? This guy is famous for having incredible fun on and off the court. Same time, he is super attached to specific outcomes. Just watch him in games, his competitiveness. You can now say "it different with dating". Nah, it's not. I can have fun BECAUSE it matters to me, because there are some emotions. You are right about "not forcing things". But this whole "being emotionally detached stuff" is overrated. It's simply about finding the right balance.

In the last months, through meditation and psychedelics, my own idea of a "self" changed. I believe to see parts of me in others and synchronicities pile up. I can see how information travels beyond physical limitations and how other people entering my life reflect my inner world and personal experience to extreme levels, almost like looking into a mirror. Other people tell me things that are tailored to my specific situations. I could go on, but bottom line is: For me, there is a increasing feeling and perceiving of "oneness". So, I find myself more and more in a state where I perceive communication on two levels: I talk to the ego person in front of me, to the physical limitations of time and space I talk to ..well, I don't know what but something or someone beyond. And energy field that flows through everything and that is not limited by time and space It's kind of strange because it's almost like I can feel whenever I am listening or talking more to the first or the latter. For instance, I know a guy for years and then suddenly he surprises me with some stuff so deep that is so much beyond every expectation that I am literally shocked. Beyond the content, sometimes I also believe to perceive a change in the voice, the tone of the person talking to me. At times it feels like I am talking to my subconscious on a very deep level. Maybe I am projecting, OK To find out if I am or how much - any opinions on that? Similar experiences? Or even if you don't have similar experiences, how do you approach communication with others while at the same time you either experience or have experienced some kind of oneness in the past?

You can dip your baguette in the cream..LOL

I get what you point to. But to have fun, you need to care somehow. Imagine a game where you care zero about the outcome.

What I am pointing to is that girls might be less like ice cream if they didn't mean nothing to you.

+1 well said IMO

What kind of feedback are you looking for?

@Something Funny Wait until he falls in love ; ) @Schizophonia When was last time you have been in love?

Contemplating is great. My lesson is that sometimes the solution is also just stored in your organism, nervous system. Sounds like classics freeze reaction, and the thoughts are a consequence of past experiences stored in the body. One week of good sports, stretch, sauna etc was more valuable then 1 year of contemplating and understanding.

I felt like that at times. Nihilistic, life is pointless, going in circles etc. The phase passed. You actually don't need all your needs met. Sure some survival basics are necessary (safety, good, shelter) because I would not talk like that if I spend 24/7 in some trenches or close to starving. But needs will never be met all the same time. It's crucial to accept that there will always be a "lack" without seeing it as lack. As in "ok I am hungry know". Nobody complains about getting hungry. You get hungry , you get your food. Then you're good, and then you get hungry again. You can't experience the joy of eating and feeling full without feeling hungry before. Life is also a great opportunity to create and to experience. Likely this phase will pass and I will be more nihilistic again. Until that passes. I learn that a lot of negativity, suppressed emotions was stored in my body. Releasing this helped.

When I meditate, during yoga, pilates or when I sometimes just relax, I get spontaneous muscles twitches especially in the neck and jaw area. In the evening alone I can open up to it, jut sit and be still, and let the body do its thing. But in everyday life I need to hold a bit of tension in the body so people don't look at me weird You can go for the "kundalini" and "spontaneous kriya", the spiritual stuff as explanation. But there is also normal physical life where it's simply strange, uncomfortable nervous system stuff and I rather not have it.

@bazera Ok got you. Yeah I agree re you need the structure stuff. You might come to the conclusion that you don't care about appearance and socializing, so the structure of "why" overrides content. IME: Solitude can help answering these questions yes. But so can socializing. Yeah when I was in a similar situation, I tried to do XYZ to improve my situation. Helped a bit here and there, but there was no magic button. Healing power of time and auto-adaptation will happen eventually IME.

@bazera Ok got you re the doritos. What exactly you mean with looking at structure vs. content?

Sorry to hear that. Life can be very hard, depending on circumstances, clearly. It's relatively easy for me to talk about happyness of kids vs. adults as I live in a Western country without war and with lot of freedom. But you can experience lots of BS and still find something in it, Viktor Frankl comes to mind. Could I do what he did, find meaning in all this cruelty? I don't know, but he could which is IMO a nice pointer.

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