theleelajoker

Good question 😂 It was some years ago don't remember maybe I got into a relationship, maybe I wasn't looking for women at that time, maybe there was another reason. I actually found an advertisement for a dating event few days ago maybe it's time to go I'm single right now

@Apparition of Jack Good Points. It's crazy how social media works. But it's the same mechanism as always, just stronger. Before that it was TV, before that it was movies (Riefenstahl) and pictures, before that it was newspaper and books, and before that it was... story telling? I guess people are looking so much for justification and someone to blame on the outside they are happy for anything and anyone keeping them from looking inwards. I am so happy that I grew up as kid before smartphone and social Media became big - at least I remember a time without that stuff. It's funny because I only know half the people in your list above

I said some stuff happened, not that nothing happened Nothing long term happened. Would have liked to see one again, but she didn't feel the same

Why not just say "yes me too"?

Yeah, I think we're not actually not far apart on that. Where we differ is that I don't think words - even logical explanations - are enough, you need real life experience. You can't outthink the unconscious IME. We all existed without words, as kids and also many many years ago in ape mode. Tell people how to perfectly throw the basketball, what's happening? Nothing. U need the action combined with other stuff like explanations etc

@Schizophonia I think you would actually a fun guy to talk to but hey if it's solitary where you feel good Agree on the last point if you're relaxed with how you are, how things are the chilled vibe is contagious

Friends, but would have done it on my own too

It resonates, but you can't change at will what you truly believe. That's the limit. You can't change your believe just like that, you need experience to do so. Let's say you believe you're bad basketball, no words are gonna change that believe. What's gonna change it? You hitting shots. A lot, with increasing difficulty. Same with everything.

So everyone would like to be in heaven right? So why aren't we? I see your point in creating reality, and changing the dream, there is influence but there are limits aren't there?

For me: Sometimes super fucking hard. Feels like it will never change, just sucks. So you're not alone. I spare you all the "it's only temporary things will pass stuff what doesn't kill you makes you stronger etc etc stuff "

@Hojo your comment made me laugh The thing with "spiritual truths" or "gold bombs" is this: if it's that simple, just do it. Just stop caring what others think. Just make everyday day heaven in your life. Even in the trenches in Ukraine maybe, let's pretend the drones are angels sent from heaven. Well, doesn't work? You still care about others? Everyday isn't heaven? Well, then the advise is useless. Words are easily said but they are just words.

Fits in general my experience. In fairness to @Schizophonia, there are ALWAYS other cases. Some girls like the guy that just doesn't give a fuck about friends, career and social circle etc. But all in all, for MOST women I know and dated, when they saw me being social, interacting etc etc it bumped their attraction view of me, especially if they were less extrovert than me. (Being social --> more likely to make and keep friends) I don't do it to get attention or female approval ("building social circle for game" - I hate this shit it's fake to me. I just do me) but women commented on my social interactions repeatedly and at some point I saw the subconscious mechanics at work. One GF left me because I "didn't have plan in life". She was right, I was not working actively towards some stuff. But the next women did not care that I didn't have a plan...sooooo just find your fit

OK

As dark as possible. Lights off (chargers, TV standby etc), curtains closed. Yes I miss the sunlight in the morning but that's the tradeoff. I think I once heard a podcast with Lebron James where he said that this is how he learned to optimize sleep (total darkness, total quiet)

What's the difference between cold approach and my second example? Because I wanted to go to the club anyways and she just happened to be there? Instead of "my only focus is on talking to women, I actually don't want to go have fun it's all just about approaching women"? And why is it impossible for people to go to a bar, club, party etc? Can also be a gym, a sports class, a concert, a art gallery , any event that happens in society where people are involved. Don't understand

I went to speed dating and a dating workshop. First was fun, they included a comedy piece and alcohol for warm up. Talked to 10 women speed dating, met three women afterwards, some stuff happened but nothing long term. Would do it again. The latter was bit strange, bit awkward because of the exercises they did with us. Too much therapy vibes lol If it looks like fun atmosphere I would go.

Just to check: What qualifies as "success story" and what as "cold approach"? Cold approach = everything where there was no other people connecting / introducing man&woman? Success story = everything that ended in kind of relationship for a while? (everything is temporary) I have many stories that might qualify, but I would not call it "pick up process", I just call it "meeting people". My sister got to know her husband at a party, he approached her, did not know her before, now married and two kids - does that count? One of my ex, I talked to her in the queue of a club, we dated one year, does that count? One of my friends got engaged with a woman I met at a party, at the queue of a the bar. I "cold approached" her and her female friends, asked her and her friends to join our group of men. I said "hello this is X, one of my friends" and left the scene, my friend did the rest - does that count?

Oh OK I was missing this context. I am only active on this forum, not a big follower of Leo and his work in general with few exceptions where I watched some videos. Well, forget my previous comment

No way. Seriously, that's not a realistic expectation. It can take years to get behind a person's mask, even in person. If it's so easy for you to recognize this why bother what other people (Leo) here say in one single instance? @StaraX Edit: oh wait, was that irony? 🤣

Potentially a million reasons for that. Not wanting to get attached, she doesn't feel ready for sth deeper, she just wants superficial fun, not interested enough, acting out of impulse, loyal towards friend etc etc IMO: just get in touch and find out. I had a similar situation, met a girl at a festival, some stuff happened but no sex. Maybe half a year later or so I text her "hey what's up want to do sth?" Did not end up to be a big love thing (not a good fit) but we met a couple of times and it was fun for while. Expect nothing out of it, you can only gain even if it's only getting the question "should I?' out of your head. The girl back then asked me "why get in touch with me after such a long time?" I said "Dont know, you crossed my mind, so I thought I just do it". She was satisfied with the reply. Good luck

Agree with other posts on especially apps and bias through them. Another reason is the whole influencer stuff, the dating coaches, the relationship advice, the how to get laid videos etc etc. All this crap did not exist when I was young, before smartphone, YouTube, insta etc. Channels, coaches and content as above did not or barely exist, and it was fine. Nobody needed all that advice, analysis, all this "this is how men and woman are and how to get them to love/fuck you" When I was young, nobody was talking about this stuff much and all kind of girls and all kind of guys and girls got a relationship or other romantic stuff going on. I bet a large percentage of users here doesn't know these times, they grew up with all this social media brain washing. It's creating more insecurities, anxiety like @hojo says. You might think all this information helps you but no more often than not it just creates bullshit believes systems, puts you in your head too much and it's making things worse. All this Dating content reminds me of this Advertising sells you things that that you don't need and can't afford, that are overpriced, and that don't work. And they do it by exploiting your fears and insecurities, and if you don't have any, they happily give you some.

This is quite on point. A couple of times I was like "ok some problems but I can deal with it" (dates) or "we can work through it" (in relationships). But now, in hindsight I can say: the start of problems was most of the time the start of the end lol I don't mean that one shouldn't be able and resilient to go through some stuff. There are some issues that are just temporary items to figure out. But there are also other issues that indicate a bigger underlying problem that is about to surface. After an issue with one of my ex, I said "ok it's either the beginning of the end or it will strengthen our relationship" I kind of already had the instinct that it might be the former, but it didn't want to see it clearly. Ego did not want to see it. It its not light, it's not right

Bold: I agree. I like if they show some cooperation, initiative otherwise I get a strange feeling that I'm doing something that is not healthy for me. There are many pretty, arrogant and unreceptive women - but there are also a ton of active, open and receptive ones. Re the former - it's their karma and luckily not my problem. Re the later - Hi, how you're doing?

Between 18 and 29, I was not in a relationship for maybe 1 year or so, a break between two GFs. Do I feel like I missed out in my twenties? Nope. I explored a lot in my thirties, only had short relationships. Was it fun? Yes. Would I prefer to have a longer relationship again? Yes. Seriously, having a great relationship in my twenties was one of the best things in my life. The whole social stuff and benefits you can get from dating you can also get by socializing without the intention of having sex with the women. The exploration of dating has been important for me re getting to know a lot of different people, connecting with them, learning form them. But that you can do without fucking lol There are some higher stakes, some excitement when you date because there is this uncertainty of "hmm where will this go"? BUT: I also enjoyed the feeling of being committed in a monogamous relationship. So no matter the situation, no matter how beautiful the women in front of me, I could focus on the interaction and content and was not controlled my my dick Open relationships can be interesting too, but that's another topic and at this stage I'm not so keen on that anymore

Yeah, it's not black and white and you also have a point. Online dating is just very superficial and lots of people spent a lot of time presenting themselves in a certain light. I admit I use a dating app too, but I don't put too much effort into it. It's nice and sometimes I get a nice date out of it. But that's bonus to meeting women IRL and my pics are definitely Sub-Standard. Women ("u look better IRL than in your pics") and my friends told me this The problem with the "nice pics great presentation" stuff is that you eventually meet in real life. Yeah I miss out re matches with my bad pics, but I accept this. And if the woman I meet is significantly less attractive than the impression she gave in the pics, then she already has big minus points. If on the other hands she looks approx the same, she collects bonus points for authenticity