theleelajoker

No fucking way. I stand with what I said. Ban me and see me not giving a shit.

Which woman hurt you, Leo? How's your relationship with your mum? Do you feel loved by her? Does it make you feel good to spread misogyny?

It like saying "I am calm" instead of just being calm. Showing it rather then describing. In a forum, yes more difficult. But IMO the way one writes can already transport that message you describe above without stating it that explicitly.

I once knew a guy, he jerked off when he noticed that he became too horny or anxious to go into dates. Worked for him. Tried it a few times as well with good results. But don't overdo it, you still want to enjoy the sex if the dates goes well so have enough time between your "preparation" and meeting her haha 😂

That's an interesting part. Because I dated a woman once and I'm wondering if what you described here was part of her experience. Myself, I know this feeling of dissolving of boundaries, but not in relationship instead from intense meditation practice. Definitely was scared and took me few months to adjust. And I'm assuming that you can only talk about this because you had your own experience. I wonder: Maybe it's not about emotions, it's not about being vulnerable, it's not about sharing, or oversharing, it's not about the male/female dynamic. Maybe it's simply about facing and accepting who you are. In my experience, when I drop my masks, and I'm am open, feeling and expressing, then my reflection in others become quite obvious. It becomes impossible NOT to recognize. Could ignore it for 30 years+, but can't do it anymore lol And it's a shock, or rather was one. It's like getting a second ball to juggle with, you need a stable identity of self while integrating the fact that you're the whole fucking thing. Problem is, now you're might be saying "others emotions are told much", but 1) it's your reflection and this you rejecting yourself 2) there's nowhere to go! Yeah seek distance, but no matter where you go, other human forms of you are there. Or you live alone on an island, and you starve of human connection, intimacy etc. Check mate. Accept, confront , express or slowly kill yourself while still alive. I notice you do that kind of comments a lot. You do this to be polite, respectful and humble? I get this but sometimes it seems to me like insecurity, afraid of expressing your true perspective fully with attitude of "that's me, I stand by it". There's a historical quote from Martin Luther "Here I stand, I can do no other". I like that one because he fully expressed what he thinks is right while not giving a fuck about anything else than that.

Yes Know a guy like that

@integral Mixed feelings when I read your last post. One the one hand, it feels to me you have gained true perspective on some stuff. On the other hand, it seems that because of the experiences you mention with people in the past, you're filtering reality too much through a negative lense re people and relationships. You are right, relationships are not easy, there's a lot of boundary setting non-stop, etc etc. Just the way you say it, feels a bit too negative, too biased to me, you know? There's also the fun side. Getting to know each other, the shifting of boundaries, the freedom of release of inner limits, oxitocyn and all the other nice stuff you can from any kind of relationship. You see leeches, I see fear. And I see fun in overcoming these fears

YES. I want to add: Depends on the moment, too. Yes in a sense of "fits my experience of reality". Have recently met a girl, the first criterion she named was indeed stability. Not looks, not money, not status. "He knows who he is and he's stable, he knows how to regulate himself". Have many other examples from other contexts that support integral's statement. Too harsh IMO. It all depends. HOW you do it is IME much more important then what. There is something inside that nothing from the outside can give you, yes. BUT: There is something you can get from connection with others that simply cannot come from within. And emotions are part of this. IME the problem is never showing emotions or feeling them. Nobody wants to live with, or communicate, or even fuck with a block of ice, right? Emotions are fine. It is how you handle it, how you do it, what you do with it. As a rule of thumb: Women have been able to handle my emotions to the degree they can handle their own. I have been able to handle the emotions of others to the degree that I have faced my own. I swear, I have worked in some projects where my main value added was to just remain calm and even keeled in times of turmoil. Coming back to @integral above - "good vibes to boost and keep them steady along the right course" - I'm learning that I can make good money just providing this in combination with some consulting 1&1, good communication and genuinely caring. Seeing the strengths and skills in other people and helping them to make use of them, overcoming their fears.

Yes let me know what you find! Some people say you can exchange the Nutella with any other chocolaty-hazelnut creme, but I disagree.

Bro, you're seriously still discussing this? I just passed a group of women they are getting drunk, great mood and preparing to go out. Definitely too old for me, but their outlook on the weekend looks like much more fun than discussing something someone said about nobody sometime in the past. LOL

Man, this way of thinking is too limited here. When talking about nobody, nobody remembers nobody.

I would say the exact opposite.

First thing: they asked you to do this, so they see that you have what it takes. Keep that in mind. Second: good points from @LastThursday Third: I had great experiences and success with a simple approach: be interested in your team. Be honest. Be authentic. Ask questions to know THEIR answer, not to hear what you want to hear. Make sure their interests are met as best as possible. Align interests and goals, avoid conflicting targets whenever possible. "We all here. Thanks for being here. Appreciate you doing this with me. Everyone wants to do good job? Everyone wants to have a good time at work? Everyone wants to come here happy? Everyone wants to go home happy? Everyone wants to make this shop a success? Ok, how we do that? What you need?" Don't think you now must be or do XYZ just because of new role of it's not you. I promote cooperation whenever I can and I include them as much as I can. I'm always super open with my intentions re team: "I want you to think less and do more. Because it seems to me that you're stuck and not happy the way it is. I want you to gain experience and confidence by doing that and this. I think you can do this. That's why I propose for you to do this and this and this. What you think about it? Better idea? If yes, what ideas? If not, let's start with this. If you notice the proposal is not working, come back to me and tell me how to do it better. Otherwise, come back and tell me how it went. And we go from there" BUT: That's my style. Find your style, what works for you. Find core values (for me e.g. openness, cooperation, appreciation, honesty, solution- and action orientation) and stick to them consistently. Be predictable in a sense of being consistent. People criticize you three different times, or people come with new ideas towards you, they shouldn't guess your reaction. They should have a good idea of your reaction so they are encouraged to go to you. Also, I encourage them to think and act for themselves. Good chance you make mistakes. Doesn't matter if you're good leader. If people see and feel that your intentions were well, they don't give you shit for any mistakes. If people like you because you TRULY care about them, their life, their work and their well-being, they will support and defend you. And they might like you even more, because you're a role model, so you show that 1) mistakes are part of life 2) you can show them how to deal with them 3) others feel encouraged to do the same. Actions> words. Always

IMO: These absolute rules, dogmatic and strategic behavioral guidelines, yes/no questions are one one the biggest mindfucks in the history of mankind. The answer is so obvious I can't believe you even ask this. But to answer the question: yes it's an incredible turn off, but only when the moon is in Saturn, when it's between 6:44 am and 8:54 pm, and only if the woman in case did wear a red shirt OR jacket within the last 4 and 2/5 days, and only is the range of your emotional intensity is bigger than 5/10 but not smaller than 2/10. It's an incredible turn on of the women did wear black or orange shoes OR green ear rings within the last 72.75 hours, if you jerked off at least once this day, if the moon is less then 3/4 full, if you ate between 1-3 croissant in the morning, at least one of those with Nutella. Watch out, if you put butter with Nutella, the croissant counts double. They should teach this in school. Seriously, not your fault for not knowing this.

I definitely went down the provocation road. I was bored on a train ride so it was fun occupation to write that post. However, I stand with the general points I made and I'm very critical re your big claims about reality and what you "know" and how the world is etc. IMO you are incredibly self-deceptive and project this on others. You seem to hide behind "knowing everything" and truth" and do not allow any potential scratch on this identity. The thing is, I am quite open to teaching and learning. I am simply selective about teachers, their credibility and their personal agendas hidden behind seemingly righteous motives. Or let's say I'm critical about shitty teachers and their bullshit. Did you read "meditations" by Marcus Aurelius? He starts of with thanking many people for what he learned from them. I could easily come up with a lot of people that crossed my path where I do the same. I am incredibly thankful for all of them and I know the list simply gets longer the longer I live. The problem is not my attitude re teaching. It's the teacher. And here one pattern repeats itself again: instead of taking responsibility for you actions, you shift it again towards me. Zero accountability on your part. You are flawless, and it's my "fault" because the way I am, it's not only hard, it's "IMPOSSIBLE" to teach me something. Again, you make big claims with zero foundation. What kind of people, real life people, are close to you that might induce corrective behavior, Leo? Anyone? Or you live alone in your own bubble of "truth", and nobody truly understands you?

Ok. So, honestly the best way to calm someone else is in my experience exactly what @Ramasta9 said: Be calm yourself. Co-regulation works. Being calm without any intention about what the other person should do, no expectations. Just calm, accepting, loving, open presence.

Seriously? That's what you focus on?🤣🤣🤣 What about context, my next sentence: Ignoring that for what reason? I even pointed that out a second time in another post lol

Incredible way of doing things. Holy shit, I'm impressed. Let's see what I can learn here from you. Start with making claims. Big claims that show how you are seemingly superior. Then avoid clarifying and / or making arguments. Then tell others what they should know. Aha, here the first shift of responsibility to others and avoiding one's own. Awesome. "Not in business of convincing people", yes? So if I go through your quotes, blogs, forum I would not find you trying to convince people? You only teach by describing, and you don't want to convince people of anything, never? Not even convincing then with marketing and your webpage about stuff like life purpose, and your skills, methods, etc? Ok, so only self deception, yes yes no convincing only self deception..of others, of course. And then shifting the responsibility from oneself to others by making a generalized and meaningless statement that does nothing but create an artificial identity of ehm..."caring about truth" that you build your personality and self-value around. Because if other's have a different opinion than you, then they are - OF COURSE - not interested in truth or they are not conscious enough (of course you're not only the most conscious, you are also the one who can judge others!) or a combination of both. Ok, so how do I counter? Yes I know! Leo, you're right - I don't care about truth enough. I care about TRUTH! No, no even better - ABSOLUT TRUTH. Haha, yeah, and if you can't see that's what, then you are not conscious enough, you're not interested enough in ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Yes, you're both, not conscious enough, not interested enough in ABSOLUTE TRUTH, and you're full of self deception that I am only pointing out haha and...and you should know this by now. So how did I do? Learning your way framing and manipulation well? I'm kind proud of myself, because I'm the best and the greatest and the smartest and the only one that cares about truth....

Last year I had two "breakthrough" shifts in my perception of reality within few weeks (Vipassana, no psychedelics). I learned that talking about unity, consciousness, no self, etc. hearing about it, discussing it and experiencing it are two very different things. After the retreats, the transpersonal dimension in everyday interactions became so obvious I could not longer not see it. Crazy coincidences and synchronicities that become less and less coincidental or crazy because they happen so often, it becomes ordinary life. Often, as I go through my day, it's like talking to my own subconscious. Recognizing my reflections in other's words and actions. Lately, also appreciating these reflections more and more. But it was not always like that. At the beginning I was overwhelmed. Going through all the (bad) interpersonal stuff that ever happened and becoming aware how my new awarenesses recontextualizes EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION I EVER HAD. Took me about half a year and lots of difficult days to adjust living with this new found awareness. Now I feel like I adjusted to "my new normal" of experiencing the world. So sometimes, I look at people and don't see as much individuals, but expressions of the same life energy. Like you see a tree now where you could only see the leaves before. Sometimes I also feel like hints are dropped by the universal mind, statements that can be seen and understood very differently depending on the context. At other times, it's also blatant role switching without any ambiguity. In any case, there's less and less external in my experience and more and more connection. Impossible to go back and see the world as I did for decades before. Also, I wonder: WTF do I do now with this new normal? Is it really only "chop wood, carry water?" Just continuing my role? No idea, but it feels like there's more fun to have in this reality... What's the purpose behind this post? For one, I just felt like writing it. Second, curious if anyone can relate. Third, have nice evening and don't forget to feed the cat.

Also thanks for contributing. Yes re less blocking and dropping, allowing instead. I also like your "what's next". Indeed it feels like first I have been trained (by life) and now I feel perfectly at the right place at the right time in the right state. With the right tasks, being perfectly competent and mature enough to master the challenges while also enjoying myself. Enough trust and confidence to move on and walk the path, but enough humbleness to stay grateful. So why should it be any different once this current "quest" is done? Will go wherever I'm sent.

Good for the cat 😺 And thanks for the post I already have the idea of getting ANY resonance haha. And yeah Iike your description, reality becomes more cooperative, more playful, more dancing. Curious what will follow.

Amazing how you managed to convince me that I'm wrong. So eloquently, so sharp and precise, so on point with your undeniable arguments. Can't believe how impressive that was. I definitely stay corrected. You are clearly a special little thing, nobody else knows but with this post you showed me that YOU DEFINITELY KNOW what's going on.

You mean: How can he know that no one knows? How can he say that nobody can make a claim such as "no individual person can make big metaphysical claims about enlightenment" while as an individual, he makes an generalized statement about others? Hehe yes that's a valid question 😎 And the answer is simple: others say "it's like this and that". They pretend to have "facts". I have subjective experiences and opinions. And my opinion: The maximum you can do is say "my experience is....XYZ" and that's about it. Fuck the rest you're just pretending to know to gain some false safety and security in this fluid world that you're continuously co-creating and changing 🌎

So many different ideas what enlightenment is, how it works, what the consequences are, what can or should or cannot and should not happen. Which basically brings me back to one major point I am personally convinced of. NOBODY TRULY KNOWS WTF HE/SHE IS TALKING ABOUT. All we can do is exchange and make sense of our subjective POVs. Enjoy the ride 🤣🤣🤣

While it's true, people don't have access to this incident(s) anymore. They can only access the generalized believe and idea. Plus, some stuff might be warranted. What I do depends on my situation and my intentions. No energy? No interest? I just ignore that or casually change the topic or stop talking to this person at all until she returns to sth else. And then there are infinite other scenarios how to react...