Schizophonia

Day 20 I went to a restaurant with my father unexpectedly. I want to go to bed early so I'm not going to make a real post for today. Let's say it was a good day, classic. The best was ordering Neville Goddard books eheh, 3 in total, I just finished the two books I had to read so it's perfect timing. The worst was sleeping, I slept properly but in several times and having quite a few nightmares, not horrible things but still quite annoying. I dreamed that I was in what was supposed to be a big high school organized like an airport, I had to choose a destination that was supposed to be a "life path", in an archetypal Jung style form; The atmosphere was heavy, everyone was quite stressed and/or euphoric and even disguised themselves, depending on the chosen path, to the professions they were supposed to be trained for. I had chosen something quite simple and easy by default and pressure from my mother, but especially by default by "cowardice", it was a training like to plant flowers lol, I don't remember but it was something stupid like that. But at the same time I was bored and even if it was intimidating, I had a strong desire to join another course which this time was supposed to transform me into a soldier, I had passed in the alley to register for this course and I recognized old acquaintances who were rather friendly to me among other students then dressed in military uniform. As I said before it was intimidating, and at the same time exciting; I felt it as being the real "deal".

Can you give a very concrete exemple that happens to you ?

I also want to make a stupid book and make YouTube shorts with a deep and assertive voice to gain tons of buyers. 😂

What exactly did Trump/Musk do wrong? Can you give some examples?

This is an overrated book. You just have to work, that's all.

best class.

I joked. spot on I recommand his book.

I felt pressure in my face, my skull in general.

Completely accept explicitly all the possible consequences of lack of sleep. Like accepting to end up homeless and without friendly or romantic relationships because of fatigue, or developing cancer and brain damage because of lack of recovery. Then the sleep anxiety disappears and paradoxically you can sleep and recover again. Sleep doctors generally just ask "to accept not to sleep" but that is not enough, you have to target morbid thoughts directly. Then it is not only sleep anxiety, it is also hypervigilance; So you have to learn to spot when the thought loop switches to subjects that require too high a degree of involvement and have better sleep hygiene so as not to go to bed too excited. Watching certain types of videos helps to soothe. Familly and friends.

Yea it was essentially autism lol. Science is reliable but biased and does not have the answer to everything in general. Yes, he is amazing. He presents his work in a somewhat sensationalist, American way, but he has tons of results. If you are still looking to "spice up your life" he has exercises to obtain spiritual experiences, like the breathing exercise for the activation of the pineal gland. Among others.

Quite good, I slept very well these days and I am well surrounded. 👍

I know honey 😎 More seriously, I just think that I have a way of taking refuge in mental loops, my imagination in general, and this seems to protect me from depressive episodes, I assume.

Hi, how are you? Keep us posted.

Day 19 My first encounter with the world of politics was during the 2012 presidential elections. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2012_French_presidential_election At the time I was in primary school, so obviously I didn't understand much about it yet lol, but that didn't stop my father, who didn't like the president at the time at all without really knowing what to do, from taking me to the voting booth, to the polling station for the first round, where he presented me with two ballots; One was the favorite at the time, from the center left, who finally won in the second round, (François Hollande) and the other was the candidate at the time "from the extreme right" (Marine Le Pen). Repeating what some people in my class had told me about Le Pen, I asked my dad to put the ballot for François Hollande, which he did. Several years later, I must have been 11/12 years old, I was in middle school at the time, on my way to middle school I heard on the radio the intervention of what would become until today the main extreme left personality in France (Jean Luc Mélenchon); The latter was in a face to face with an interviewer, and was talking about the boss of Air France having been vaguely molested and having his shirt torn off by demonstrators after having taken the decision to lay off several thousand employees while giving himself a raise. I agreed (it always happens to me to agree here and there with the left and even the extreme left on certain issues) and in any case interested, and it was quite naturally that I started, that same evening, to watch the interview again among others. I started to see left-wing content, but also, open-minded as I was, right and even quickly interventions from so-called far-right personalities like Marine Le Pen, who would later become the systematic challenger of each presidential election; It is not crazy to say that she will also most likely be the next French president in 2027. I know I am open to left-wing issues, but I also know that immigration is a big problem when you see entire cities being ethnically replaced, and when you see that crimes, in increasing numbers, are systematically generated by black or Arab people. It's not just immigration, it's also the French state machine that is crushing entrepreneurs and employers in general, even and especially small businesses, it's also the ideological grip of public institutions. School is a machine for producing anti-racist or pro-LGBT propaganda; conveying left-wing ideology in general, especially language courses. Sometimes this grip is even seen on a global scale during certain events like the recent Paris Olympic Games ceremony. It's a bit unfortunate to say, but I believe that wherever there is too much job security, especially work automatically paid for by the state, it gives legitimacy to people to use their social positions for other reasons than the reason they are supposed to be paid. It is not about being a Nazi, it is not about having a fascist project, even ethno-racialist by implying that all non-whites are intrinsically a problem; It would be profoundly stupid and it is this stupidity that has in fact led Europe to the world wars and in fact by domino effect to the problems we have today. We must be highly rational, have a refined reasoning; We want to preserve the security and genomic/cultural integrity of Europe and for that we will have to be much stricter in terms of immigration and why not propose remigration policies. As a result of all the elections in which I have been able to vote since I came of age I have voted for Mrs. Lepen/National Rally or Eric Zemmour/Reconquest, another right-wing party. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Rally https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reconquête

This guy is acting totally depraved.

Not really, I had tried a bit after reading his book eheh, but I had other things to do and I didn't know if I was doing it correctly so I forgot a bit. Do you have any experience?

The truth is in the nuance.

Who cares. American cities are ugly and impassable without cars, and even when some like San Francisco have charm, well it's so expensive that most people live in shared accommodation, it's also unsafe. Next door in Europe there is Paris, London, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Moscow, Saint Petersburg, Strasbourg..., all the medieval cities. The best cars are European, the best architectures are in Europe, Europeans are more attractives/healthier, European food is much better, the social system in most European countries is much better, the price of food is much better etcetc. With some "if" we could put Paris in a bottle Well precisely, the biggest cities are in Europe and the Far East. If I had to go live in the United States I would go to the countryside. What interests me is having access to comfort and nature.

What's the point of going to US ? Everything is better in europe.

Day 18 I don't have much inspiration today, it will be shorter than usual. I'm going to borrow a camera to take pictures of myself, so probably in about 3 weeks/1 month I have to go to Toulouse for that and incidentally to do a first English boxing session. I don't have any pictures for my instagram, linkedin or anything except mediocre selfies. At first I didn't take pictures for self-esteem reasons, but in recent years it was mainly due to lack of social life, conditions in general ; I actually like taking pictures of myself, besides being bossy I'm vain lol, My ""dream"" has always been to be a spokesperson, politician or guru ; I like the idea of presenting myself and embodying something. I also have to practice making videos, I wanted to make some for this journal a while ago but I was lethargic and didn't have the equipment for it, so the attempts were mainly cringe shit. We will see.

I see. 👍

Just approach others with friendliness and interest.

Cringe.

How can you be that sure ?