Schizophonia

Leo has talked about masculinity here and there, even made videos about it, but he hasn't particularly tried to theorize it. In fact, apart from psychoanalysts, I've never seen anyone who has done it. Masculinity is a biological process, therefore "automatic", but it is also psycho-social normally driven by the normal environmental conditions to which a human is exposed in a Paleolithic tribe. The masculinization process is mainly initiated by the Oedipus complex; it is an early childhood event common (even if forgotten/repressed) to the vast majority of people who grew up in a mononuclear family, of course in absolute terms each scenario is individual and will or will not cause anomalies in the process. During early childhood you are in a fusional relationship with your mother, but the ego develops and in the sexualization of the libido (=set of impulses, to put it very simply) pushes you to compete with your father. Seeing that the father is much stronger than you, and that you have (normally) a more or less favorable relationship with him, you decide (unconsciously) to accept finally not to be the phallus (the power, to put it simply) of substitution of the mother (the man) but also not to have it (the insignia of the phallus, that is to say the big car, the beard, the house ...) and, always in the logic of having the mother then a substitute (after internalization of the prohibition of incest) you will identify with the father to try to take his place. The reason why you have so many non-masculine and immature people today, is that men have had, especially during their youth when they were developing and with the highest neuroplasticity, a bad relationship with their father or failing that the substitutes of this one (teachers, friends ...); And certainly a relationship too strong with their mother, often unsatisfied. The more you are in this situation (it is a spectrum! we are all more or less in this case) the more you have not had to accept, overcome the cognitive dissonance of not being the substitute phallus of the mother; The direct consequence is a hatred (repressed) of the father (or substitutes) and an anxiety of being castrated by this one of the imaginary phallus, because of the Oedipal temptation. What we call masculinity is essentially about abandoning the imaginary phallus (the illusionary power that comes from the fusional relationship of early childhood, = primary then secondary narcicism) for the symbolic phallus (the one that is real, palpable) and the supremacy of the symbolic order as a general rule in the relationship to reality. Technically it is about the heart of maturation in general, but women (or men who are too neurotic and regressive) are closer to the child and have one foot in the imaginary. If you cannot overcome the attachment to the imaginary phallus, then the castration anxiety of this phallus will induce regressive defense mechanisms, as well as a fight against these defense mechanisms by the superego and the ego: Men who are completely in denial of castration anxiety can be hysterical, but in the other case the spectrum of defense mechanisms is gathered in the principle of obsessive neurosis, we are all more or less neurotic, men and women (hysterical in their case, generally) and this is once again the main obstacle to masculinization (because it induces feminization by refusal of the symbolic order) or simply being a normal functional adult: The inclination to be passive and to "live in loops", in a repetitive way, is the main symptom: the objective of this tendency is to avoid realizing that you are fundamentally nobody, which is threatening to your ego if it has structured around the imaginary phallus. Spirituality is full of neurotic people, because it is often, unconsciously, about proving to oneself that one has the imaginary phallus. The reason why you run after mystical experiences, that you take lots of psychedelics, that you have a spiritually connoted avatar etcetc. can (I'm not saying that it is the case) be a strategy to deny the needs or even rather the inclination in search of the symbolic penis (money, car, women, children, sports, activity including spirituality, spirituality of course). Very neurotic people also often have BDSM fantasies, the submissive (usually a man) unconsciously does not want to have to fantasize, to give himself to a woman he judges too inferior according to the belief system of the moment even if it is normally the most obvious choice, and will prefer to be dominated, even if it is less obvious and more masturbatory, by a "bigger phallus" with which he can identify. The dominant is usually a woman, hysterical, who cannot bear to confront the idea of having to enjoy being sexually dominated by an inferior man. This is why people with lots of tattoos, a big beard, who are on steroids etc. are associated with neurosis or even repressed homosexuality; In the same logic as women who add things to themselves (long hair, long and colored nails, long black eyelashes, dresses, suspenders) it is a question of tacitly signaling wanting to be the gear, the proxy, and therefore submissive of stronger egregors. A normally developed man will prefer to castrate himself (shave his head, dress simply in monochrome) because he does not seek to present himself as someone who looks "upwards", but rather as someone who looks "downwards" and serve as an anchor for a woman, children, his business... I myself had some a little sadistic fantasies when I was on testosterone cream, probably because it increased my estrogen, made me anxious, and triggered this process. My fetishs have always been quite normal lol, apart from that but the biggest neurosis syndrome in me was the inclination to think all the time rather than act to the point of causing insomnia; Insomnia pushed me to learn to forcibly suppress the imaginary phallus; When you are insomniac, to suppress anxiety, you have to go to bed assuming that maybe you will not sleep and therefore ruin your life, and only then paradoxically you can fall asleep, you can no longer allow yourself to be too much in the imagination. Nevermind. The masculine character comes directly from the acceptance of embodying "the big fish in the small pond", rather than "the small fish in the big pond"; The first configuration is where there is the most pride and enjoyment, but can in a neurotic configuration trigger a narcissistic rage, because it requires no longer identifying with "the big rich pond" and to concentrate on supervising what is underneath and that one can really control (symbolic phallus). To give a recent example common to the people here, @NoSelfSelf typically got banned for refusing to enter the symbolic order. That is to say that to be able to play the moderator (= symbolic phallus) you must accept that there are rules (be professional, stoic...) which automatically castrates you from the imaginary phallus (= childish omnipotence). @Leo Gura(who tends to play a "super phallic" character btw) criticized NoSelfSelf for being too aggressive (because of the projection of the anxiety of confronting castration by the father, when you are castrated from the imaginary phallus, that you are finally in reality, there is no longer really any reason to be aggressive, because you recognize your potential impotence in the other, you recognize the supremacy of symbolic order). I don't even say @NoSelfSelf is particularly neurotic, we all do, in different ways and to different degrees, the point is that the regressive trend generated a situation where he unfortunately had to get banned. To conclude, to become masculine and mature in general, you simply have to start generating things, seek to create. But to become holy, you must accept to be only (=castration of the imaginary phallus), that is to say to be "only" the grocer, the guy who tries to lose weight, the one who has an account on a forum etcetc; In other words the one who looks "down". The less you accept these solitudes, the more you will be tempted to regress libininally and without going into details end up with the "typical immature behavior".

The tropical nature seems beautiful.

It's still not a specific example. 😅 Nevermind, not a big deal.

@MarkKol ED or just no morning erection ? It could just be lack of REM sleep, stress, and general exhaustion. I would stop ruminating as much as possible, stressing about nothing in general, I would meditate, take vitamins and juices rich in antioxidants; @Jason Actualization recommends pomegranate juice from what i remember.

Yep. I see.

Day 27 I noticed that my mother was nicer around me when I was in a frequency close to her exes, without giving details. Love manifests the possibility of delivering this love, but it will also manifest, depending on the belief system, people hostile to this love; Hate will also eventually manifest a person's love in this way, oddly enough; Everything is possible. I have at least partially grasped, in broad outline, notably thanks to Neville Goddard (it was his birthday yesterday, peace be upon him), the functioning of the process of manifestation, of creation; The conscious/unconscious echo chamber, the ouroboros. But it is a devilishly refined process, it is like an outrageously delicate psychic Swiss automatic watch to master, and yet completely simple in its operation; It requires the hands of a pianist. I should almost make a diary where I write down every 3/4 hours, something like that, as precisely as possible both what is happening in my conscious (emotional world and mental discourse, everything I am "conscious" of and control more or less directly) and what manifests in the inconscious, on what i don't have a direct influence and which I experience empirically. Abstractions and materiality as Berkeley would say. The easiest manifestations are in fact, in my case, those that I seek the least because they do not encounter an inverse process; A bit like if my psyche were a big sea with a big mess in the middle; Send even a big boat to go straight and it risks strongly being sent back to the starting point because of the tumult of the waves, but send even a small boat to a rather inconsiderate place, where there are few waves, and it will surprisingly risk arriving there more than most of the other boats that pass through this "Bermuda triangle" of my mental mush of neurotic mad human. I noticed that my mother was nicer around me when I was in a frequency close to her exes, without giving details. Love manifests the possibility of delivering this love, but it will also manifest, depending on the belief system, people hostile to this love; Hate will also eventually manifest a person's love in this way, oddly enough; Everything is possible. I have at least partially grasped, in broad outline, notably thanks to Neville Goddard (it was his birthday yesterday, peace be upon him), the functioning of the process of manifestation, of creation; The conscious/unconscious echo chamber, the ouroboros. But it is a devilishly refined process, it is like an outrageously delicate psychic Swiss automatic watch to master, and yet completely simple in its operation; It requires the hands of a pianist. I should almost make a diary where I note every 3/4 hours, something like that, as precisely as possible both what is happening in my conscious (emotional world and mental discourse, everything I am "conscious" of and control more or less directly) and what manifests in the maya. The easiest manifestations are in fact, in my case, those that I seek the least because they do not encounter an inverse process; A bit like if my psyche were a big sea with a big mess in the middle; Send even a big boat to go straight and it risks strongly being sent back to the starting point because of the tumult of the waves, but send even a small boat to a rather inconsiderate place, where there are few waves, and it will surprisingly risk arriving there more than most of the other boats that pass through this "Bermuda triangle" of my mental mush of neurotic mad human. I should also take an interest in Berkeley, it seems terribly based; He could be considered the father of idealist monism; a godsend if you are on the line of Leo Gura, Peter Raltson, Ken Wilber, Neville Goddard, Joe Dispenza, etc.

I meant not a big deal for me, that you don't find something to answer. I see. Yes but why do you want to "express yourself"? Eheh. I want to express myself to boost my ego; to feel useful and in a position of power, possibly to push myself to put ideas into form like in my journal. It could, I play the french predator lol but I understand that it can be annoying; Women tend not to say what they really think. You are my pocket alien but you are still a woman. Nevermind.

Cool. Once again, don't hesitate to post photos and news ; It looks like a good place. Then I am very orange lol so it is mainly the landscapes, the temples, kreteks cigarettes, the asses fed with massaman curry, and the food but there you go.

It's not a big deal. How does this evolve btw ? You can reply on your journal so as not to derail the thread. Because you are still "human" and "humans" are "curious". 👺 Or "polite", maybe you "put up" with "me" mainly out of "politeness" lol i don't know.

Exactly, in a lucid dream you are aware of being in a dream, but it is still a state of consciousness different than normal, which makes it all quite twisted and strange. When I read Datura's TRs, people still have an active brain and can understand that they have taken a drug, but they are still "elsewhere" and end up doing strange things like talking to people that don't exists ; Which makes me think of a lucid dream. If you see what I mean. Ahh I don't really agree, I would still put serotonin in first position. To take up the 4 causes of Aristotle: 1)Material cause : Substance of reality (raw material) -> Serotoninergic axis. 2)Formal cause : Structure of reality (how it is organized, in different holons) -> Cholinergix axis. 3)Efficient cause : Interpretation of reality (which gives it meaning, generate a sense of self, an ego) -> Cetecholaminergics axis. 4)Final cause : Goal of reality (that is to say the experience) -> GABA/Glutamate axis. Obviously I omitted the more secondary neurotransmitters.

I let you alone.

The president of my country brought black transsexual dancers into the presidential palace. https://www.leparisien.fr/politique/macron-avec-des-danseurs-a-l-elysee-une-photo-qui-continue-a-faire-du-bruit-23-06-2018-7789650.php It's nothing at all Elon who brings his kid ; It's anecdotal.

From what I have seen, Deliriants seem to induce a state close to lucid dreams.

I like dependent, "insecure" girls, because it gives me the right/pushs to be masculine; That is to say, once again, to be protective, cuddly, sexually dominant, etc. There is no point in having a "strong" girlfriend.

@Davino can you give a specific example ?

Do not confuse senility with maturity. It's normal for a woman to be obsessed with a crush.

Being a man is a low ego and a high self-esteem; Low ego because you exist through the principle of reality, reality in which we had evolved which was much more merciless than what we are used to now (Survival, rites of passage and pressure of the tribe in general, climatic conditions, no medicine ...), and high esteem because everyone counts on you. This is what gives this stoic, funny/detached and merciless mentality at the same time typically masculine, that women automatically like because it is our natural state. It's like the hierarchy between males, there is no sexual hierarchy in nature because 1) Paleolithic men would not hesitate to commit rape or kill (Freud's myth of the primitive horde?) men who would ""steal women"", and 2) We are all more or less Chad in nature because we are not disfigured by modern diet and living conditions, the lack of attractiveness is essentially epigenetic. The video only tacitly suggests to imitate this state, to imitate it. All our misunderstandings come from the fact that we have disconnected ourselves from nature.

Reality

He won't answer, he can't test Frenchy Willy.

Alcohol suppresses bad thoughts, the echo chamber of a neurotic psyche.

Because you're basically with someone to get your balls off.

Day 26 I worked all day with my dad, no post for today. I'm dead and my ribs hurt, I understand that he's on painkillers (he's a construction worker). Sleep was good, maybe too much lol, 9 hours in total. At this point I'll just stop talking about it.

I like girls for the complicity; Being able to tease them, cuddle them, kiss them etc depending on the context, the "chakras" concerned. If I have not enough in common with the girl and/or if it sends me back too great a gap with my ideal of myself, I will be able to have sex with her and even love her in a certain way, but it will always be quite poor and "partial" and indeed I will not want to invest myself ; This would be a form of depravity. If I understood the topic correctly.

The secret to good sleep is, I would say 50/50, good sleep hygiene not medication or supplements, and a developed ability to detach ; Even though it is in a different context, the advice of Neville Goddard that I recently discovered on affirmation helped me. Less than a year ago I could do up to 3 sleepless nights in a week, a few weeks ago I was still doing up to one, and since then I have not slept less than 4 hours and it is mainly my fault. It is incredible, I spend most of my days reading, cooking, and doing sports; In a few months I will take a job, maybe even before, and I am not even in heaven.

I had read articles about damage to the hippocampus, but indeed it is very controversial, probably much less worse than alcohol or amphetamines. And then you are right, it depends on the frequency of consumption, the quantity and the ROA; Smoking a joint or eating a space cake here and there will probably never be a problem. From where I look absolutely everything is reversible, these are just scientific rationalizations about what is happening in the Maya, in the frequency shift ; Which worries me is the frequency shift, a frequency that does not seem great to sink into/identify. It must be different for everyone, but for me it is mind-numbing, it makes me paranoid, and has a pretty "dirty" vibe in general. A bit like LSD but worse in fact. It may be different for you, if so so much the better. Actually cocaine is feminine too, estrogens have a somewhat similar action on the brain. 🤓 I prefer to feel "warm" and stress-free. I love ketamine, opioids and the feeling after intense exercise.