Schizophonia

Day 1 I lost a lot of time due to a prolonged period of almost 3 years of severe insomnia where i had between 1 to 4 sleepless nights per week. This insomnia was triggered by a combination of chronic stress, use of stimulants (especially coffee) and even testosterone/DHEA to see if it would improve my physical appearance (actually turned me into a psychopathic beef lol) and my sports performance. Insomnia literally destroys you, you lose your motivation to do any type of work, your verbal and mental fluency, your humor, your empathy and even your physical appearance; It's really horrible, i can look like a 7 out of 10 on days when I slept particularly well and if possible avoided masturbation and sleeping pills, but otherwise be mistaken for an old heroin addict. I wasted a lot of time doing nothing and now i don't have much money or a social circle, my life is kind of shit, but that said i can sleep again and the bad sleep cycle is mostly my fault which means i have the energy to be productive again. I need more money, i want a professional career and/or a hobby, why not a sports career eheh, i want a nice car, i want to express my creativity. Currently i feel like a person close to forty, i'm not a zombie but i clearly lack energy and libido, vitality in general, i can work, i think i can also more or less defend myself if i am physically attacked, i can do things in general but it's not optimal. To help me both recover from my insomniac period and actually exploit my full potential i decided to take inspiration from a French youtuber (Thomas Mayer-Chéret) and to (among other things obviously) start seminal retention, it is not my only source but it is my main inspiration, it is one of the only youtubers that i still watch because i find him funny and pleasant to listen to, nevermind. From a dual and rationalist point of view, seminal retention is supposed to allow the maximum accumulation of metabolic energy. On the one hand by removing the sedative "reward" caused by orgasm (prolactin spike) and then by allowing the accumulation of spermatozoa which it seems can be recycled by the body (hence the use of turmeric in certain spiritual practices, supposedly having the capacity to increase the destruction and recycling of spermatozoa for the benefit of the body (it is therefore not recommended to use too much turmeric if you want a child)). From a point of view beyond duality, we could precisely say that seminal retention is a bridge from duality to non-duality, from the finite to the infinite; Empirically, deprivation of masturbation gives you the energy to manifest your selfish desires, the first time i had to deprive myself of masturbation for a long time was in high school because of a frenulum plastic surgery (which was not enough lol, which meant that i had to do in fine a circumcision, nevermind), and i who was usually shy, even cowardly, thought for the first time to see a random girl in my class to tell her that i liked her (which was not entirely true, but for some reason i had targeted her😂 ). In this journal i will of course talk about seminal retention (i hope not to relapse obviously, but that should not happen), but also other subjects that are close to my heart, i spend a lot of time ruminating on many subjects without ever having the courage to put all that into form, this will be the opportunity. This journal is also and above all a way to finally get involved. I will stop there for this first post, i have to keep some substance for the others eheh; The goal will be to make one post per day.

Title. My new year of studies begins soon and i choose sanskit as an option, I read the Wikipedia page and it cited a book that said it's like a "mantra language," like a song where the sounds directly echo a frequency basically; that sounds interesting.

You're lying; if you had that much desire, you'd already be with someone. And what's behind the urge to act like a gorilla on a forum is the believe that I have to protect myself because "people" (the big other, as Lacan would say) are against me and want to destroy/humiliate me, and what's behind that is the believe that I'm worthless. Which also explains the eagerness to get rich without doing anything, or the kind of nonsense you say in your various threads. I have to become something very quickly because otherwise it means I'm worthless, and nobody wants to love worthless; that's the subconscious believe. And paradoxically, resistance to a phenomenon, its symbolization, makes it real and nails you in; that's the problem of the ego at the heart of non-duality, or simply the low-key ethics of the most popular religions.

If one is excessively lethargic they may need psychological help, sometimes medication, and/or a review of their lifestyle; things that can dull motivation such as drugs, poor sleep or poor diet, pornography, YouTube videos/shorts, Instagram etc., social networks in general…

No the lion mane is in addition for some reason; the psychedelic (allegedly) comes from the shroom extract. But it's very expensive for what it is.

It was a very good idea.

Lol. Idk.

The profil says it's a woman, it's probably a troll.

Me I eat the carrefour cookies. Those with Monsanto white flour, white sugar, palm oil, and a fake shitty chocolate. Top super.

Esoteric cookies

Human ego and in particular masculin ego is structured to flourish by focusing attention toward "unpersonal" objets (what Lacan called the symbolic order); at the expense of one's self-image. So people with strong egos : 1)They never do anything interesting, as I stated against Leo in another thread; because to do quality work you have to be able to put "yourself" aside; The people they cited were essentially heirs and swindlers; cheaters in general. 2)Are not masculine; the self-image is anti-masculine by nature, so this psychological configuration makes one physically fearful, with weak social preferences (asociability, passive aggression, misogyny, preference for asian women, sometimes a desire to be dominated...). 3)They cannot be happy and sociable because of a rejection of the mirror stage; because attention is recaptured, alienated by the self-imaginary.

You're being dismissive out of childish narcissism, but serving people in the restaurant industry is a useful profession. My first decree when I become Secretary General of the Second Comintern will be to mandate that everyone with bullshit jobs (which includes most people in the personal development field) spend at least three days a week collecting garbage, cleaning public restrooms, or, indeed, serving burgers. Useful jobs.

If my girlfriend crave it; I’m neutral.

Microsoft edge

Lol. Nevermind i kidded

Thanks for the (deleted ☹️) message

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DPadJBKEbb5/?igsh=MTZjeTFxMTA2bTJmNA==

Severe insomnia + social isolation + high standards + paradoxically a scarcity mentality + bad karma in this sector in general. Thankfully the hardest part of the work is now done.

It's obvious she doesn't take any pleasure

👍 Posted from Arlanda Airport waiting the bus for Väs*********, crossbow in left hand

She is good and we talked a lot in private but she lives too far away +we're probably not that compatible. I probably seemed exaggerated due to a scarcity mentality (in denial) and because I like to troll/tease. And I've evolved; there are posts/jokes that I wouldn't have made now because they were a bit cringe virgin stuff; the thing about guys unconsciously chasing their anima Mari louise von Franz talked about for those who mention Jung on the topic lol.

Thanks. Short answer : yes. A bit more complicated answer : If I truly wanted it sincerely I would already have it now.

Could you edit your message and remove the quote from my messages please. I wrote this because I feel humiliated and frustrated by my (lack of) romantic situation for various reasons and by my karma in general. So I compulsively play the tough guy; but it's actually a form of castration, a refusal of the phallic position, because I'm denying (castrating myself) my true desires. It's true that I've fallen deeper into antipathy, even dysthymia; but the fundamental truth is that even dysthymia—the perceived lack of movement, energy, consideration, and so on—is still the positive result (in the mathematical sense; "more of," "that which is added") of the illumination of consciousness; of awareness.

Paradox's games (Victoria 3, HOI4, CK3...)

@Davino You are close to Proudhon's ideas; or even Bakunin. But there are many problems with his ideas, such as the fact that since there is always a market, it doesn't eliminate the structural problems of capitalism (it's not just the distribution of wealth; it's also and especially speculation, the crisis of overproduction, the tendency of the rate of profit to fall, the creation of monopolies...); that it is idealistic/laborious to implement (how do people create corporations/shared enterprises? It requires a great deal of organization and is automatically complicated without the state; does this concern the owners of small and medium-sized enterprises as well as entrepreneurs? They are also bosses with boss interests; are you going to force companies to restructure?) or even more simply, how do you want a society like that when the more technology and the market progress, the more it naturally monopolizes and demands firm hierarchical structures that have nothing to do with this ideal. We might as well embrace communism; there is to drink and eat in communist philosophy. Karl Marx and Engels, Vladimir Lenin, Leon Trotsky, Rosa Luxembourg, George Lukács, Lucien Goldmann, Antonio Gramsci, Louis Althusser... to name those I know more or less.