Yimpa

He rejected the idea that I had mental illness and autism. He didn’t want to face that reality. But now that he’s opened up about it and talked about it in therapy with me, he’s much more accepting of it. And it’s not crazy when given context. He was brought up in the Philippines in the 60s. It was taboo to talk openly about mental illness in his family and in the culture, and still is. I guess they all assume it’s The Devil or something (Most of the Philippines is devoted to Catholicism pretty damn seriously). How I discovered his secret is I “accidentally” missed my usual medical cannabis dose in the morning (I take it twice a day), so I figured “hey, why not try taking it once a day now”. That was fine for like a week…. Until I slowly got more and more agitated and “insane”. I kept yelling at my dad how terrible of a father he is and a poor leader (basically bullying him), to the point where he finally opened up about that secret. It’s amazing how something tragic events can open up brand new perspective and push us out of our comfort zone/edge. Of course, I’m not promoting bullying or yelling at others to get answers, but as you can see it’s sometimes necessary when things are dire.

Some are becoming more open-minded. For example, my psychiatrist was cool with me trying ketamine IV infusions. And soon after I took it, she happened to start prescribing ketamine as well (the nasal spray version / Spravato, though). I’ve never tried Spravato, but if I had to guess, ketamine IV is a lot more potent.

Yep, and Chewbacca. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Springfield_Files

Also this

Im 27 years old. Maybe you puffed me into existence

How will being happy change you?

Nope, only GOD NPC = GOD

Fear is not delusional. FEAR = LOVE

ME

You are imagining all of it as God. God makes perfect sense!

What I remember was lying down in my bed at nighttime minding my own business (still awake) when all of a sudden I was being gently “sucked” backwards, almost like a vacuum. Immediately afterwards I wound up at a bowling alley hanging out with my family. This wasn’t me recalling a memory, but rather, I was actually at the bowling alley. It’s almost as if I was taken to another timeline of my life and living it in that very moment. Again, the experience was fleeting, but it was definitely novel and completely unplanned.

My imaginary brain hurts.

@at_anchor I relate to a lot of what you said. Have you considered therapy? It’s not too late to start that.

None of us are AWAKE, so feel free to respond to as many threads as you’d like!

And you don’t? Make sure you’re applying your criticisms of others to yourself as well. Widen your perspective

I have the opposite problems. I deal with a bunch of “what ifs” in my mind and fear the worst scenarios that could happen. The mind is hella tricky! Solving God won’t happen through positive thinking… negative thinking… hell, maybe not even through neutral thinking. So what is the solution?

I’ve never heard of them before, where did you hear about them?

This reminds me of the importance of expanding your mind and not looking at reality myopically. I only recently been discovering the importance of this. I originally thought that the mind was some nefarious thing that needed to be shut down in order to find peace. So I spent many years wasting my time trying to find that peace. While “quieting the mind” may be important in certain contexts, there’s definitely more to self-discovery than that. A lot more. And the big trap / mistake is convincing yourself that you can become enlightened and all your problems go away like a Disney movie ending. — Let’s also look at it from another lens. Say I was at a food court eating with a friend, and I proudly say, “I killed people.”. A stranger sitting at the table next to us might feel deeply disturbed and might even want to contact mall security. But if I were to simply add a few words, such as, “I killed people while playing Grand Theft Auto.”, it completely changes the context and the emotional response.

That’s why I said basic example. There are an infinite more things you can discover. The whole truth? Perhaps you want to discover that you’re imagining everything. If that’s your goal.

@Jehovah increases precisely