EmergentUniverse

My ego doesn't want me to stop drinking. My ego has something to prove by being stubborn. Learning how to not listen to my ego will take work. I can't do my own work on someone else's watch.

My problem is precisely this.... I've been addicted to guitar, music, art, and helping others. All things I try to help suffer when I suffer. I hope you understand that I don't emphasize race in my thinking at all... but recognizing that race is real in this world, I felt reassured about being here after seeing how the company of those here dealt with a particularly racist thread. Nonetheless, I appreciate your words of encouragement, and I take them to heart. Thank you for being thoughtful.

If there was a like button, I would have hit it. I kind of like the fact that there isn't a like button. That is all.

Thank you so much

Thank you

Hey All, So I've had a bunch of anxiety about coming back to this forum and reading responses to some recent posts. Not necessarily because I didn't mean them...I certainly meant them at the time and was cognizant if what I was saying. No excuses. I simply hate myself anytime in using a crutch, because I know it's not my purer self. I've been caring for my mother through some very difficult health battles, including some that left her in a psychotic state mostly due to lack of sleep and falling asleep in very dangerous positions/situations leading to head-trauma. This had lead to a couple of ER stays of the 7-to-10 day variety in the past few months alone. She's the most loving thing I've ever known, and it breaks my heart. Having confronted my relationship with alcohol in the past and having remained sober through many of her trials, I eventually caved-in one particularly bad night during one of her more challenging experiences. My alcohol use has managed to reestablish itself since then. This is very disappointing to me, and I'm worried that some past health issues that were indeed terrible experiences resulting from my alcohol use might come back and be worse if I continue down this path. Simply knowing this fact and having those bad experiences (however effective they might have once been as teachers) do not seem to serve the same purpose now as a distant memory. I found Actualized and psychedelics in my search to improve myself, and offer a clearer prism and version of myself that I know well and know is there from past experience. I'd also like to push beyond any past experiences and enter a new way of relating to my own consciousness, and to everything else (I see the irony there.) I have limited experience with mushrooms (3x-times), dpt (1x-time), and lsd (7x-times.) I'm currently in possession of mushrooms, 4-aco-dmt, 1p-lsd, eth-lad, dpt, 5-meo-malt, and should have some al-lad here tomorrow(ish.) My most intense experience so far include 4g of relatively potent mushrooms, and also one occasion where I combined 2g-mushrooms with 100ug-1p_lsd. My question is as the title suggest and that I'll ask as follows for anyone willing to offer insight: What is in anyone's opinion - understanding that everyone is different - as to how I might put my best foot forward into any kind of experience, given what I have at my disposal, and to addressing these concerns? I'll end by saying that I do appreciate the regular members here as I've come to read many of your comments regarding a variety of subjects. I was never more proud to have found myself here after seeing how you all handled a particularly racist thread recently. You all managed it beautifully and by offering great insight. I feel certain that your efforts will go on to offer positive consequences like a stone tossed in water creating concentric circles. I appreciate you all. @Leo Gura

I'm a male in his mid 30s.... only saying this to reassure to the extent possible that noone is responsible for any choices I make, nor what I take. I've done plenty of research, which is why I own what I do and nothing else. It's noones responsibility to tell me to take what or not take what. Let me be clear....I will try each in the end. Just curious about what others might call a decent starting point based on their own experience, and based on what I've shared.

So.... I've never experienced either of these, but will have the opportunity to experience MALT in the near future. I've read other forums etc., but I do honestly feel that this might be the best place to ask this question: What would any experienced users here describe as the difference between the two; also, if MALT is my first of any "true" DMT experience (outside of psilocin and it's prodrugs) what guidance might be given? My psychedelic experiences include LSD and mushrooms thus far. Thank you for anyone's time, energy, and willingness to respond.

@DrugsBunny fair enough

I'm beginning to believe that the only tax we pay is that which we seek in others. Nobody can truly help you in the end. You're on your own. Do what you already know you will do.... but simply do it to the best of your ability, and in the most responsible way you know how. There are no answers other than the ones you give yourself.

Thanks. I don't understand either. Apparently I've been judged in my first attempts to participate. I'm sorry, if there's any other way to see it.

To all I'm sorry if I asked a question that was answered multiple times. I'm sure it's true, and I'm sure I can find it. In the act of being shut down, tho... could someone simultaneously point me to the thread or video where my concerns might be addressed? To say it's been talked about, and then shut down the thread in such a way that I can't ask questions...I can't say I found it particularly helpful, especially in a time of need and sorrow. I came here in an attempt to better myself. I know I'm not perfect, but I sure as hell don't need further rejection. I have seen racist threads entertained to no end.... yet I'm rejected for asking whet I believe to be an innocent question, but without guidance to clarify that which I seek. @Leo Gura... this is a sovereign intelligence reaching out for help, reaching out for communion. Call me whatever god you want. Can anyone explain to me what was so painful of a greater variety than some of those thoughts that have been allowed to proliferate in these forums? I'm not looking for validation of my own laziness. I'm simply trying to understand why exactly I was shut down, while others were allowed to eat the pie off of your window sill with your approval, however ungrateful.

Oh damn... I'm sorry to have posted essentially the same question twice (first as a response and then as its own topic.) I didn't see me own part in this thread.... probably should have refreshed my browser or something. Sorry for the redundancy, but thank you for the response nonetheless.

How does 5-meo-dmt differ from 5-meo-malt? @Leo Gura and anyone else with experience. @DrugsBunny I wish you the very best my friend. I promise you have the strength to confront whatever the root of your suffering is.

I've never honestly considered plugging before now. I might have to step outside of my comfort zone before setting a single foot into this one. I'm grateful to have respect for it.... but if it's like any of my more profound experiences it likely doesn't care very well what I think anyway.

How ironic it be after my first night of mixing psilocybin and lsd. Interesting experience. This will be my first upcoming for 5 meo malt.

It's back as of this morning ladies and gents

So before I get too much heat, I'll admit I didn't read 100% of all posts. I did read a large number of them tho. I doubt I'm fully alone in this, although I am sorry that it admittedly makes me lazy. I'll hand that one over freely. Recognizing that other people have lower IQ scores doesn't make us more worthy creatures, nor does it make anyone else less worthy. You might have identified a valid statistic. Understanding what it means and what we can do about it is another story. We are all at our best when we lift each other up. As for the originator of this post, I'm glad you recognized that denial is a powerful tool used by people to usually justify why they are special. The next step is to see where denial exists within yourself, and understanding how and why it got there. If someone is smarter than you, let's say, does that mean you are unworthy of the life you are given? That you're instantly devoid of true and meaningful purpose? I doubt any of us are the smartest people to have lived... what does that mean for all of us? Again...we're all at our best when we lift each other up.