Jordan

You might not realize that you "made up" that you are your body. How do you know that this is your identity. If you really believed that you would say that you become the soil after you die. Why do you think that you don't know what happens to you after you die? Don't you really believe that you are the experience?

From my experience, I think doing 20 minutes 3 times a day with the occasional longer sits every once in a while works the best. I really should follow this advice. I always try to sit for 1 hour but often put it off because I don't have quite enough time.

An assumption is a belief. What is a belief made out of? Multiple emotions, internal images and sounds layered on top of each other. I count this as a thing. Point to any belief you have and that is an example of something that is an assumption made out of many assumptions.

This is the way I see it. Every concept has assumptions surrounding it. I don't think you can be 100% certain of anything in the realm of concepts. Direct experience of the present moment allows you to at least be aware of what assumptions you are holding. Seeing, hearing and feeling are not assumptions, they are your direct experience.

The point is that we believe that the sun will rise tomorrow because of models in our head. These models are an over simplification of reality. If we are not aware of something in the present moment, concepts about these things are never even close to fully true. Why would you believe any concept fully? Literally the sun does not rise anyways. The earth spins and it appears to rise from our perspective. I would consider that the sun will rise tomorrow to be a false statement.

I just wanted to make an update on some things that have seemed to change since taking 5MEO DMT this weekend. The first thing I noticed was that the sex with my girlfriend was really even better than usual. This happened before when I was meditating a lot. The second thing today after rewatching Leo's video "Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God" I am much more aware of how my reality is being constructed over top of the present moment. There are infinite ways it can be constructed over what the perceptions are presently. During the drive to work today, I was just focused on the concepts that were coming up as they came up and how they were nowhere near the truth that was experienced right here. I still needed the concepts to know where to drive and when to accelerate or brake but I could see them as ultimately an illusion and makes me think that I can build a reality however I want over top of the raw sensations. Anyways. I will keep focused on this since it is very interesting to me and see what comes of this.

Yes, I have been beginning to notice how much of my time and energy has been put towards fornication since you brought this up. I will find ways to spend a fraction of this time on studying my beliefs/emotions/mind and taking care of my body from now on and see how that goes.

I tried taking 5-MEO DMT again just 2 days after my first try. I felt like I did not take enough to get many realizations the first time but it was a nice easy start that at least got me interested in continuing. Today is Sunday and I decided to do 10mg to get a little more experience. I felt noticeably more nauseous than the first time. I think because it was early in the morning instead of in the afternoon, I was not able to focus as intensely because I was a bit sleepy. The nausea discomfort was distracting. I hope trying again later in the day next time when I have more energy. I think i will need to find a time in the early afternoon maybe 2 Saturdays From now to try 13-15mg. It also seemed to help to have the date planned well in advance so my body and mind had time to prepare for it.

Yes, I guess I was fairly far off from a threshold dose because I did not have reality leave or know what infinity or nothing is or anything like that. I think it is a good idea to slowly increase the dose still to get more comfortable with it. I was not too afraid but fears still came up which I think will diminish after a dipped my toes in a few times.

I plugged 8mg of 5-MEO DMT today. It was an interesting experience. It was like my concepts of who I am and my life would be there then disappear for several seconds. I was just left with my visual field of my ceiling or hands and tingling through my body. I kept alternating between the 2 states. Thoughts would come up slowly like “Am I still breathing? Can I even move my body? Did I take the right amount? It would be followed with taking slow deep breaths, slowly wiggling my fingers or raising my hands to look at them and reassuring myself that I was careful and prepared. My vision was very focused I lost sense of time and worries about time came up but faded away quickly after realizing that it wasn’t important if time seemed to move slowly or not. It lasted right around an hour when I felt the need to get up and eat some food. The main insight I got was that the present moment should be a higher focus of mine over concepts like imagining what I did or will do at work. It really seemed like I am waisting my life by imagining instead of experiencing. I need to work on experiencing more which includes a more consistent meditation practice. It was a small dose. I think I will try 10-11mg next time in 2-3 weeks when i find a good time to do it.

I am not sure how accurate the scoops are so I got a scale as well to double check. I took Friday Oct 22 off work for my first trip. I plan to meditate an hour before, experience whatever happens then journal about it and spend a few hours meditating and contemplating what I want to do with my life over the next few years.

@Alex_R ok spoiling the movie is not so bad to me. I always seem to need to make mistakes to understand why what I am doing is not ideal. Doing things in the “proper order” is not really my style. I have quit my job as an electrical technologist and get into construction work and also quit working for a couple years just selling some things on amazon. I traveled alone to costa rica, nigaragua, panama without ever traveling alone before and just letting my family know as I was leaving, I just do what I think is best and learn as much as I can from my experience. I appreciate your comment. Ahh maybe that is true. I have this belief in my head that is is cruel that other people don’t get to have sex around 2x a week like I usually have for the last 10 years but maybe less can be more. I’ll keep that in the back of my mind.

@Alex_R You saying that makes me more curious to try it. What benefits do you expect from taking LSD a few times first? Do you think it will make my experience with 5-MEO DMT less jarring? Do you have links that you think I should look at first?

Ahh I forgot I agreed that I will start going to brunch at my friend's house every Sunday. Maybe I can take a vacation day from work on Friday and do it then.

Everything I ordered arrived. I have: -100mg of 5-MEO DMT freebase -some 1mL needless syringes -a mg scale reading to 0.001g -micro scoops -one of those bulb things for an enema -vinegar I was excited to get everything and was considering tripping early tomorrow but I have a busy day tomorrow so I will wait until another day. Monday - Friday I work from 3pm to 11pm so it is possible to trip early in the morning during the week. Saturdays I play Age of empires 3 with my uncle and brother at 9am and am free the rest of the day usually. Sunday I drive my girlfriend's kids around to different things starting at around 1pm. My girlfriend also sometimes wants to come over on a whim to have sex during the week days or get me to play a videogame on my phone with her. I never really turn her down when she wants to spend time with me and she expects me to answer her quickly if she texts. I am thinking the best time to take it would be very early Sunday maybe starting at around 5am and spend the day Saturday meditating and getting an early sleep. I am not ready to talk about 5-MEO DMT with my girlfriend or other friends yet. My friends will be pretty easy to talk to about it with but I want some experience with it first. My girlfriend is not so interested in meditation or self development and would probably deter me from experimenting with 5-MEO DMT. So the plan now is to plug 7mg Early Sunday October 17

Haha no way that is a coincidence. Thanks for the messages everyone. I really appreciate them. I will consider an enema too. I can see how that could remove some variables.

I got a $25 microgram scale to doublecheck the weight to make sure at least I am not way off for my first time. Then I can use the scoop for a more accurate relative measurement for the future

Ohh, I did not realize It is half as dense. I saw something about that in some chemistry formulas that people were explaining about turning the freebase into a salt form that kind of went over my head. I will look into that a bit more to make sure you are correct about that. Thanks!

I was not able to load pages until now. I tried a few times over the day yesterday and a couple hours ago with no luck. It seems to be working as normal for me now though.

Ok so my plan right now is to take 5-7mg of 5-MEO dmt freebase measuring it using a micro scoop, dissolving it in a few drops of vinegar, adding a few drops of water and plugging that with a 1ml needless syringe . The micro scoop is expected to arrive Friday Oct 15 so I will have to wait for that. My girlfriend expects me to be able to respond to texts quickly at any time so I plan to do this early in the morning on Sunday. I will get up at around 4am, take a shower, brush my teeth, meditate for 1 hour then plug the 5-MEO and lie down in my bed. I will have a bucket ready in case I feel nauseous and a notepad and pen for writing anything down that I want to after. My purpose for this trip is that I am curious how a higher state of consciousness compares to my normal waking consciousness. I did meditate an hour a day for 100 days before and was able to imagine things very vividly and feel into my emotions maybe 10x more clearly and intensely than normal. I will see if things continue to move in that direction and be open to whatever I experience. I plan to make a video on my experience and share it here

@FlyingLotus thanks! those links are exactly what I was hoping to find

Ahh I read through 5-6 sites before picking which one to order from. I thought I got an HCL salt version but it is freebase. I was planning on plugging it. I have never vaped anything before. I saw Leo's video on how to plug on his blog: https://www.actualized.org/insights/how-to-plug-psychedelics He mentions plugging will still work for freebase but it might sting a bit. I will read a bit more about the method and dosage but I am thinking plugging 5 mg for the first time should be fine. @Thought Art Thanks for the tips. I did plan on meditating for around an hour before. I like the idea of writing down a safety protocol and recording dosages, dates and insights

@Leo Gura Haha I hope so. Thanks for responding. I will start researching a bit more. I will give an update here with my experience. I plan to be prepared to do my first trip the weekend after next

June 3, 2019 I did 35 min then too a break and did 25 min later. June 4, 2019 I sat for an hour but I kept moving and checking the time. I felt really uncomfortable emotionally. June 5, 2019 I sat only for 30 min June 6, 2019 I say for only 15 min June 7, 2019 I sat for 0 min June 8, 2019 I sat for 3hr to catch up for the missed time. I should be 1 hr average since I started now. My first sit was 1 min 15 min. I opened my eyes after thinking about losing in a video game I play on my phone. My other sits were shorter. I labeled a lot sometimes I tried just to sit still as long as I could.

I meditated an hour every day from Jan 1, 2019 into April 2019 and then fell off track and stopped. I am going to try to start up an hour per day again and update this journal every day with how it goes. I will be starting out doing the mindfulness with labeling technique. May 29, 2019 I sat 33 min before moving because I felt sleepy and tired. I stopped and took a nap. I sat for a full hour without moving later on in the day. I started thinking and contemplating while forgetting to continue the labeling technique. I felt like I was beginning to understand the interaction between our interpretation of our perceptions and our emotions. I also realized that there is an intelligence that is constantly judging and interpreting our perceptions and putting meaning behind them. It is done subconsciously. I know it is there because I can ask myself if i think something is true or not and feel the emotional reaction based on what that intelligence believes. I guess this shows it is important to increase your awareness in order to get a better interpretation of your perceptions. It might be a good idea to go over what beliefs I have and see if they are true or need to be updated. I'll think of some beliefs I want to have and think of ways of convincing my subconscious that they are true. Some Beliefs I want to be solid in my subconscious: 1. I can do anything I put my mind to. - I will start by setting small goals to do with finishing my website every morning to complete and slowly increasing the difficulty 2. My girlfriend and her kids love me. - I will be more present with them and study the reactions they have when we spend time together 3. People will be grateful for finding my website I am making. - Put myself in the perspective of my customers and give them the truthful information and products that I think will help them. Feels good to finally sit for an hour again. It has been over a month!