Sincerity

But I do have the option to "switch" and be better. Yesterday I did quite a lot. I got my work for the day done. I spent ~3 hours on a course to raise my skills. I went to the gym. I meditated at 8PM like I always do. I had a stream of great insights regarding relationships and what I want, which I noted down. Before bed, I watched some career-related videos on YT, from genuine interest. I felt better after that, and I feel better today. I have a lot of energy to do things. Oh, and I finally called my parents to tell about the breakup. This released a big amount of energy in me, I was actually surprised by it. I'm inspired by Paul Graham's perspective on great work. I want to do great work. I want to be a professional creator in life.

I’m feeling down. I just want to lie on the bed. That’s not what’s happening - I’m actually doing quite a bit. Energy is flowing. But I don’t feel well mentally. I watched this crazy movie on Monday which is currently in theaters: Marty Supreme. I think I’ve never been so stressed while watching a movie lol. It was a fucking wild ride. The breakup is proceeding. We’re still living together until the end of April when our lease is finished. We’re on good terms. Pain is coming up. In two weeks, I’ll be travelling to live for a week in the city I plan to move to after April. I’ll be living in two different places, actually. All for the sake of testing the „vibe” there. Seeing what I like and dislike. It’s still a short time, but I sense it’s enough. I know that city a fair bit anyway - I’ve been there many times, even lived there as a child. I’m looking for a new job with better pay. That’s ongoing. Sometimes I don’t want to wake up in the morning.

Bruh, I thought it was about Vitaly as well. Carl obviously didn’t make the post clear if so many people misunderstood it. The other guy’s energy is quite light. Surely not „dense as fuck”. That was about Vitaly.

@riplo Just read your last post. You’re going great work man!!! I’ve also read the War of Art recently - over a long period of time, rereading many times, thinking about it a lot. It’s great that it’s inspiring you too. Cheers. You’re awesome man, don’t forget it.

I know it from experience, but don’t think about it most of the time. I can feel into it though. I am God.

I finally watched the video yesterday/today. It was great - thanks Leo. The endeavour to ask „where did I get that idea/thought?” is powerful. I’ll ask that more often, primarily in the areas of life I’m working on right now. More conformity examples that came to mind: How people dance What music people listen to But the biggest one: how people approach relationships in general. Sooo much fucking conformity. Which I’m currently realizing in myself of course, and wish to develop my own ideas of how I want my relationships to look like. Based on who I am, what I tolerate, etc.. I’ve been foolish there so far, buying the ideas that culture has given me.

Thanks man! Will try it out.

Lol. Das true.

@Oppositionless @yetineti @MarkKol That’s powerful! You guys are so strong. Honestly. What a bunch of awesome people.

Thanks, I didn’t see these posts. I mostly read the last responses. There is indeed a sense of condescension here. Whether that guy you posted would last in a boxing gym - I don’t know. So I’ll reserve judgement.

I don’t think his responses here warrant this comment.

His energy is not light at all. It’s dense as fuck.

@UnbornTao So, from what I gather, you admit that who you consider „a master worth listening to” has really no objective foundation. And yet, you make choices to listen to someone and denounce others. How? I say denounce others, because I feel you’re showing a very non-listening attitude in this thread. Which, you must agree, is rather ironic. When you mention „people in a cult”, I’m assuming you’re making a reference to this place. How are you coming to this assessment? Is this true? Practice what you preach, you know.

Are you listening to what’s being said? How do you determine who you listen to?

Thanks so much for contributing guys. I can feel y'all's strength, reading what you shared. Seriously, it's amazing how people can make such difficult choices through their will.

@XXXXXX @Natasha Tori Maru That’s powerful. Thanks for sharing guys.

By Roger Thisdell:

I guess a dropping of the "self" construct for good. Associated with eg. a dropping of any feeling of centeredness. I wouldn't know because I'm not there yet as a baseline. But I'm "working" towards it. And it "happened to" my best friend, actually. 😃 There are other people's accounts too, obviously. (I just asked him to confirm whether that 2nd picture resonates with him most. I guessed correctly 😛)

@Davino Do you believe that a permanent shift in awareness towards no-self is possible? Why yes/no? Of course it's not about denial, rejections or any of that. I think it's moreso about embracing the want to become fully aware of the mind's "self"-orientation. IF you experience that want! It's fun then! Otherwise no. Both are true: There is no "me", there are no "selves" I AM, I am God, Everything is Me

This channel is a goldmine: I "study" these videos - listening on 0.9x speed, making notes and thinking them through deeply. And observing the mind in action, of course. I want to deconstruct and become wholly aware of the pervasive "self"-orientation of the mind. My best friend recommended it to me.

Thank yourself It's always been your drive.

This week I came back to this great video about al-Hallaj. I liked it so much and had so many insights that I watched it twice. 10:55 - I resonate with that wish to have people kill me. I experienced it once on a "spiritual high" for a few days. 22:08 - I also resonate with that desire for spiritual annihilation. Beautiful: 23:40 - I am the Truth/Real! So simple, elegant and direct. 👌 This is what it's all about. Also this: 32:12 - I don't know about the two spirits. I'd omit the second sentence and then it resonates: 34:59 - Al-Hallaj was also awake to Love, seeing it as the core of reality. Very inspiring. I'm not awake to that yet. 37:40 - And lastly, I find al-Hallaj's interpretation of satan very interesting, seeing him as the "ultimate monotheist". I interpret this as embracing "this life" vs rejecting it in favour of God. I enjoy to choose the former (embracing high energetic choices as much as possible), and to me that's the greatest spirituality. The latter doesn't make much sense if given more thought, although I do understand it. I can't help but recall when Leo said that he stopped brushing his teeth because only truth mattered to him anymore. 😆 Perhaps there's some truth in both. I'm considering that someday, embracing energetic choices fully could lead me to full asceticism, rejection of the worldly and total devotion to God. But that'd still be the embrace of this life. So yeah, rejection isn't the way for me. Also, I wonder if al-Hallaj saw himself in that devil, at least to an extent. Overall, very inspiring figure. I want to learn about him more.

Thank you!! And thanks for posting the artist! My favourite piece is on the second screenshot, second from the bottom on the left/middle (woman holding up her hand). Very cool. The title says best portrayals of God. Yours is advanced level - only the pros can see God in that. Jokes aside: yeah, I get it. Nice. I can relate. I recorded a bunch of videos of myself "back in the day". In fact I posted one on the forum 3 years ago: Don't comment on my haircut. 🤣 I was a baby. Thankssss

Good one 😆 Yeah, true open-mindedness includes embracing genuine long-term urges. And sticking to them if enjoyable.

I am God, experiencing Itself.