Sincerity

Cool. First one to get there gets the Actualized.org medal?

? Let's hope for the best for him.

I don't know what You think my idea is. But it doesn't include the description of the distinction between perception and consciousness You made. You said that Leo also conflates perception and consciousness. Well, I was suggesting maybe You're drawing a distinction where it's not there. Most of the definitions of the verb "perceive" are something like "to notice or become aware of". Which to me equals "to be/become conscious of". I am conscious that I am God = I perceive that I am God. I'm tired of this talk. I'll just add that I don't like the word solipsism in general. I prefer Aloneness.

Well, I don't consider what the word "solipsism" points to an idea. It is what it is.

It's an idea if You hold it as one. You're talking about imaginary stuff. And I don't even know why You're asking that.

Ideas.

I think You're creating this distinction out of thin air. Perception isn't "fundamentally" form and consciousness isn't "fundamentally" formless. There's no "crucial distinction". It is what it is. Appearance IS reality. Perception IS consciousness. Leo has a video on perception. Here's the summary.

Yeah. Instead of "something more mindless like social media" I should have said "more mindless social media (than this forum)". From what the guy says, the forum addiction does in fact interfere with what he's trying to achieve. I agree addiction is a form of love. But I wouldn't say genuine self-expression is something one is addicted to. Intuition is like anti-addiction. Following it seems to me like a "truer" form of love.

Just be careful to not replace the time You would normally spend here with something more mindless like social media. I mean, if You really want to awaken, I think You'd better waste away your time here than there. There's a lotta good advice to be found on this forum. I'm not stopping You tho. Good luck, it's all learning opportunity. ? You'll certainly learn a lot about yourself.

I think your addiction to the forum has a root cause and You're not solving it by leaving the forum. It's up to You to figure out what it is. I'd guess that even if You leave this place forever You will soon find another way to satisfy the addiction. Make sure You're not running away from the problem. Confront it. When this addiction of yours is not satisfied it will certainly come up to the surface. You will probably suffer because of that but You can decide to be persistently conscious of it and try to dissolve it. You have it in You to pull through. But also there's no shame in retreating and deciding to fight this battle in another time. We'll welcome You back with no judgment if You return, because these battles are hard. Good luck.

@StarStruck I don't know why You thought it's the right thread for this cynical meme.

Thank You! That's really nice to hear. ?❤️

Hahaha. You really think You wouldn't sell your soul to the devil for the right price? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Imagine You could treat that illness that's been torturing You all your life. Imagine You could turn back time and save your loved one from being raped, murdered, tortured. Imagine You could have any body You want, get rid of everything You don't like about yours. Imagine You could stop the war in Ukraine. In fact prevent all wars from even happening. Imagine You could make the government into what You want it to be. Get your conservative/progressive agenda through. Imagine You could kill that country's oppressive leader (that may be harmful to the broader world too) with a snap of a finger. Imagine You could have all the riches of the world --> money, status, women, luxury, power... Imagine You could have what You want MOST. That even includes existential depth, experience of mystical states, incredible understanding of reality, basking in unimaginable beauty... Imagine, imagine, imagine. The only cost is losing the way out of yourself. That's not that big a price considering You could have anything You want, right? And also it's not like You can only do stuff for yourself. You can also do good for others! Like stopping wars or getting a progressive agenda through! What's wrong with that?! Fuck everything. If I could sell my soul to be all-powerful, I would. I'd bring everything to ashes and laugh about it. THE DEVIL WANTS TO BE ALL-POWERFUL LIKE GOD! Isn't that funny?! HAHAHAHAHA. Haha... it's so easy to corrupt a person. You just have to press the right buttons! There are so many erratic thoughts going through my mind lately that it's hard for me to find stability sometimes. Yesterday I meditated for an hour and found myself in mild states of madness. I'm not gonna presume what insanity is because I don't know it but I had weird visions and illogical thoughts and all... also during the night I had incredibly vivid fever dreams. Slept for only 3 hours, went for my college lecture today and looked like I was half-dead. My friends were looking at me weird, also because I mentioned to them that I experienced some mad states yesterday. I told them that because one of them said something to me and mentioned meditation and I said "funny, actually I meditated yesterday and went into some states of madness". It was perfectly in context, however that was a blunder and I should bite my tongue more. I feel like I've lost my filter to a considerable degree in the recent months... Well. To be honest I feel like I haven't been stable lately, but I consider that part of the journey. I must integrate this devilish shit. I have to pull through somehow and I certainly will, nobody's going to help me with it. I feel like I'm on my own. I'm not worried about killing myself anymore that much since it's kinda lost its "power" to me. I deconstructed it and don't see it as a valid way out. At least that's my current view. I'll do anything it takes to pull through in THIS dream, because why not. NOTHING matters anyway, including escaping from here... But God... Why the fuck is all of this so difficult ☹️

I've been playing with ChatGPT today. A lot. "Consider this guy's writing style and personality: //https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/83908-expression-of-sincerity/?page=1 //https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/83908-expression-of-sincerity/?page=2 //https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/83908-expression-of-sincerity/?page=3 //https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/83908-expression-of-sincerity/?page=4 Based on his posts, write a light-hearted love letter to the TV show Adventure Time in his style. Touch upon its spiritual aspects, emotional maturity and character depth. Make it more like a journal entry, but without addressing the journal itself. And don't address the show directly." I could write something similar to that... Scary! At least the style is quite close to mine I'd say. Sooo much potential in AI. I want to learn to work in synergy with it because that's where future is heading undoubtedly. I'll also have to evolve massively to kinda outsmart it and be "relevant" in this world. I mean, if my work in life isn't so intelligent that AI can't replace it... well, that's not good at all! Questions I'm asking myself: How can I use ChatGPT to my advantage? My 100 ideas for utilizing ChatGPT especially for my needs How do I work in synergy with it? How do I integrate it into my workflow? How do I make it so that my work in life isn't made redundant by AI? What can I do that AI can't? How do I have to evolve to be relevant "in my times"? (haha) Ultimately, what do I even want to do in life? I'm still uncertain... Maybe I should ask ChatGPT how to not be jobless in the future.

Today I asked ChatGPT about a channel most similar to Actualized.org in terms of depth. It recommended Jeff Foster. Well, actually it recommended Academy of Ideas first, but I asked for a more spirituality-oriented one.

Who the hell looks up to him as "all-powerful God" who doesn't do anything wrong? It isn't common at all here. If You don't see him as a human You are deluded, I suggest. (Unless You see EVERYTHING as God, then that's fine and congrats) It seems to me You utterly misunderstand what it means to be God. It does not necessitate never losing your temper or even not being a dick sometimes. YOU ARE GOD and yet You make blunders in life. Because the Dream is of being limited. To me personally he is human first and foremost. Sure, an above-average human, certainly. A radical human teacher of spirituality. But still human. Don't give away your authority and pledge no allegience to ANY human teacher. Pledge allegience to GOD. Listen to your intuition primarily. But also consider the teachings, because if You're experiencing them maybe there's some reason for that. Don't be so foolish to think You know better. Humility is of great importance.

@Gesundheit2 Great points!

The guy should receive 10x more appreciation than hate. And yet it's the other way around. It's very easy to hate and criticize. Consider that it must be fucking difficult to be a leader of a spiritual community, a businessman, a RADICAL explorer of consciousness (!!!!) and more + doing all that basically on your own. Also while dealing with health problems, dozens of people constantly wanting something from you, throwing shit at you, leeching off of you and much more. I mean like OP said, give the guy a fucking break. Some of You forget that there is a human with a personal life behind that forum account under which is written "42,779 posts". That human has struggles, ambitions, emotions, fears, moments of weakness... I will say I very much don't like that Leo wrote "Fucking idiot" in a user's ban message and I don't enjoy seeing these outbursts. Well, I advise You can do a benefit-cost ratio if You're unsure about staying here. Make a decision what to do and stick to it, trust your intution. It's perfectly fine to leave, You are going to be okay. Make your experience about what the heart guides You towards. Don't try to make something work that just doesn't work for You.

Okay. I forgot about the trap of pet theories. Thanks for pointing it out to me. God, this work is a minefield.

Ok, I'll go deeper. I admit I can be sloppy with concepts. I like to unify them and say things like all fear is that, all X is actually Y... Then I realize I'm wrong. Making things more simple than they should be!

Ohhhh that's right actually! Or hmm. Maybe this ever-changing quality of consciousness could be understood as time? There is no time but also it's all changing... and THAT'S what "time" really refers to? Time and Timelessness as one. Eternity, hahahaha.

Ok, right. Ok. I guess that's the case. Idk, I'm really trying to tiptoe around time and not get lost in concepts... On the one hand I get that it happens in cycles but on the other hand there's nothing but NOW and a cycle implies events in the future... I'm trying to stay grounded in current experience and I feel like it's frying my mind. Well. I don't understand the relationship between change and time. I don't know yet if change is more fundamental. To me it feels synonymous to time. This "what actually creates intelligence?" questions feels very intriquing, I'll definitely contemplate that. Thanks for responding.

@Leo Gura My awakenings so far have shown me there is no God besides me. So no omniscience if I am not omniscient. Do You find that there is "God who's more awake than You"? Doesn't that imply an "other"? When I say You I mean God. Also I don't understand why You say God had to "create his omniscience" and "become intelligent". Doesn't that imply time? And again, doesn't that imply an other God? My current understanding is that this is a Fantasy/Dream and there's no "before" and "after" experiences... Or at least there's zero connection between them. Memory doesn't get transported because that would imply time and it's only THIS. Infinite Intelligence just IS and it has always been. The Fantasy of course is that Intelligence. So the crux is that You say memory/intelligence/omniscience is built across lives. And I'm doubting that. If You could clarify, I'd be grateful.

"It's... it's not that... I lost my hat. I lost my hat, lost my home, lost my people. I can't even keep darn varmints out of my pumpkin patch. I tried. I really, really tried. I just... I thought that if I shut everything out and just focused on work, it would all be okay, but look where that landed me. All I managed to do was push everyone away. I pushed you away. I'm sorry, Marceline. I've been a real dinger to you." Such vulnerability here. I lost my hat. ? Today my hate spilled onto my loved ones. I cried in a similar way to Bonnie here in my mom's arms because I was sorry. It's so dumb what I got heated about... it was LITERALLY over spilled milk... Yeah, long story short I spilled milk in the fridge and got mad at my mom that she's keeping a ton of bottles in the fridge and the milk carton has to lie horizontally and the argument started... The truth was I just wanted to fight. I feel pressure from so many sides (desires have come back, demanding college projects, sister has important exams and I want her to do well, etc.) and also there's this fucking hatred for God. FUCK. I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!! I relate so much to Bonnie's crying here. It's so human. ? Especially the hat part because it shows how a little thing breaks you when it all just gets too much. And then everything spills out. Yes, Adventure time is my comfort series. Marceline, is it just you and me in the wreckage of the world? That must be so confusing for a little girl And I know you're going to need me here with you But I'm losing myself, and I'm afraid you're gonna lose me too This magic keeps me alive, but it's making me crazy And I need to save you, but who's going to save me? Please forgive me for whatever I do When I don't remember you Poor Simon. The guy couldn't catch a break. I wonder what would be my heart's deepest desire. Probably some devilish thing - that's the only shit I know. I wish I could really redeem myself. With absolutely nothing to gain, only for its own sake. But I'm just too fucking dense for that. I wish "I" didn't want anything. Even THAT. Both the desire to "stay" and the desire to "escape" are resistance. Probably some intelligent leap would have to happen to transcend all these but it's not one I'd be capable of. To hell with all of this, man. I don't know what to do anymore. Previously I'd find pleasure in self-destruction and indulgence in toxic habits but seriously, why the fuck would I do that again. I am not the enemy, he is. But I can't do anything about him... UGHHHHHHHHHH... I know I'm rambling. But I'm running out of options. There's nothing left for me but hatred and moronic resistance which won't benefit me in the slightest, but what else do I do? Give in to this bastard? I mean theoretically I can see how that would be nice but I'd have to give up that which I'd rather keep with me. I just don't know anymore. If I could destroy the world, I would. If I could annihilate experience forever and block anything from "emerging", I would. If I could do anything to spite and hurt fucking reality itself, I would.

Dude. Be careful for God's sake! Sorry but your posts in the last days haven't felt stable. Really consult your intution whether doing 20mg of 5-MeO now feels right. It's not a race. Remember it is okay to slow down and take breaks. Please don't hurt yourself!