Sincerity

I loved the post about inner game ending at being God. Being YOURSELF. This resonates. The lighter and self-recognizing my state, the more naturally magnetic and charismatic I am. I was able to attract many things that way in my life, including my ex. The whole post was great.

Unfortunate, but reasonable I think. Some have really gone overboard with shitting on you and this place. It’s like they suffer through you and your teachings because they just want the benefits of this community. It’s leeching in a way. I understand you having enough of it. It’s not fun to be slandered and engaged in bad faith all the time. This won’t alleviate the cult allegations, but oh well. They were stupid to begin with. The people who this work will most deeply affect should see through them anyway. Agree.

Nice! Alex Gray is great. I love spiritual art. I have a ton saved of it on Pinterest.

One man awake, awakens another. The second awakens his next door brother. The three awake can rouse a town By turning the whole place upside down The many awake can cause such a fuss It finally awakens the rest of us. One man up, with dawn in his eyes Surely then multiplies

You don’t know that. Each individual’s path is unique and mysterious. And if he refused, he couldn’t have not refused.

Damn, that’s sad. May he rest in peace.

@Carl-Richard Complete strawman.

Do you recognize that in practice your mind doesn’t clearly differentiate between a held belief and „100% certain knowledge”? Why come at me with this intellectualism which doesn’t apply to you in reality? Sorry, but in your „smartness” you often sound very stupid. I really often feel like it’s impossible to talk to you. Like hitting a head against the wall. You’re lost in concepts. You successfully deflected any chance for introspection, lol.

I think you’re bullshitting yourself. All due respect. You think things because you have a belief in them. It’s not technically knowledge, but in practice in your mind it works as such. And you don’t think nearly as much about not knowing whether Leo is right/wrong. You’re not making dozens and dozens of posts from that stance of openness, but you do from that stance of „knowing” he’s deluded.

Either you think something is bullshit or you think that you don’t know whether it is (which equals being open). You don’t think both simultaneously, you think one. The two are completely contradictory stances. Imo the telling that you’re open is unconscious posturing on your part to maintain the story you’re telling yourself that you’re „complete” and not missing anything (by having an openness towards the contrary position embodied). But hey that’s up to your judgment.

I haven’t listened to All You Need Is Love in years. I really like the Beatles. My favourite is probably Octopus’s Garden, but I listen to Let It Be most often. To soothe my nerves sometimes haha. It’s a beautiful song. Thank you for the music. I had a good day today. Went early to work and ended late. There was hardly anyone at the office. But it doesn’t matter, I never talk to anyone anyway LOL. I met some folks from high school over the weekend. I ran into one of them in the metro a while ago and we were eager for a meetup. It was fun! We had some beers and watched the Norway - Brazil football match. The one I ran into told me that I’m the most extraverted person he knows. HAHAHAHA! I was flattered. I’m glad that I seem that way sometimes when I meet up with people. I was indeed talkative and open (I think). I strive to be that more lately.

Oh okay.

It’s irrelevant to observe resonance because it always still applies the same, even if you’re not looking for it or think it doesn’t apply. Nevermind. I just wanted to say in this thread that What am I? is a great direct question, which it is (at least from my experience).

Direct in terms of becoming directly more aware. As the OP wishes.

I really like to dive into the „gross/difficult.” That resonates with me a lot.

Okay. I’d say it’s more contemplation than meditation. Sure, these overlap, but I think we can agree on a distinction. Nothing wrong with these questions. Interesting too. But not as direct. I think we can agree that directness does exist, if we’re honest.

Nonsense. You only ever follow what resonates. If it doesn’t resonate, reality will not move that route, until it does. Following one’s curiosity is the key. Embracing what resonates and going fully in - and when that’s completed, something different resonates, usually „higher”. Well, that’s what works for me at least.

That’s rather convoluted to me. Why not go direct? Are you genuinely getting value out of this? (Whatever value means for you)

Doesn’t resonate. „What” works.

What am I? It’s the #1, bullseye question for me. But one meditation ain’t gonna do nothing. It takes practice. Optionally: Who is seeing this thought?

Nahh that’s not true I think. Most Mods simply went/go inactive, most probably due to personal life stuff. In terms of those openly turning on Leo in a continual manner in forum history, you could likely count them on two hands at most. But it’s still a definite minority. (I’ve been around since 2019 like you.) And Mods are no disciples/generals lol. We just clean up this place a bit. It’s not like we can’t have our own views.

Hi all, Yesterday night I was tripping on 330ug LSD and I had some serious damn awakening. It was consciousness so extreme that in the end, after the ~2,5 hours, I felt like it sort of "blew back in my face" and I exited the trip rather abruptly, numb and distracted. But first... Context: my intention was to come back to Myself with my standard question "What Am I?". I was tripping blindfolded, sitting in a chair comfortably, with whitenoise wind sounds in my earphones. It's been like my ~20-25th trip on LSD with this same dose - more or less, I stopped counting. So to start: I entered the trip focusing intensely on "What Am I?". And from almost the very beginning my body was continuously clenching the anus and abdomen. I'm pretty certain now for myself that clenching the anus (or I think more precisely: pelvic floor) and abdomen has something to do with state raise. Some fellow users in that thread confirmed my suspicions too (thanks again!). It didn't take long before I started sensing God. Some of the first insights were that God is Unspecifiable - it's NO-thing, it's like this pure immaterial mystery/essence and it's not defined, "by definition". I also realized that I'm not following God in life because I'm afraid, and I dug into that deeply. And at the same time I was of course realizing that I actually am God, so it was this mindfuck of why I'm not "embracing" what I am, and instead following some phantoms. At some point I started realizing that I am Love and that, in fact, Love is the reason for anything in existence. I realized that I LOVE EVERYTHING. And THAT'S why it's here. That Love is the TRUTH, because there simply IS LOVE, it's just true. And this Love is, well, everything. It's what happens. IT IS ALL LOVE. If I met you then, I'd say to you: I LOVE YOU. I knew that I LOVE EVERYONE. That this Love is UNCONDITIONAL. I was crying at that point, of course, also there were glimpses coming up for me of things hard for me to love. Primarily I think it came down to admitting that I love my ex. (Or, maybe, the archetype of a woman in my life. I don't know.) And so I just admitted it, along with the love for all my other close people, especially my sister. I remember feeling SO MUCH ENERGY (LOVE) and just GASPING at the immensity of LOVE in the energetic landscape. In fact, I realized that Love is the BEDROCK for it all. Seriously, I was in shock of how LOVE triumphs everything in my mind. It was after that that I think shit went "off the rails". I entered states so high it's hard for me to channel back information - and also, I feel I'm resisting it. I completely understood that I am creating Reality. That I AM GOD and wherever I move, Reality moves. I was in such deep focus that I COMPLETELY forgot that "physical" reality exists - I don't know if I was even breathing. I was just in a void seeing that I'm creating everything, and it was like I was being taught about it. I sensed it was like a school of being God and that I should be getting something. I felt like I have nothing to "fall back on" and it's just me now, being God here. It was frightening. All the time I was trying to come back to my essence and ask: But WHAT AM I? WHAT AM I? WHAT AM I? It was always God. Being in that hyper intense focus and state, I seriously don't know whether I was breathing and I'm actually wondering if I didn't die then. I understood that I cannot REALLY die and that I ALWAYS PREVAIL. That Love is Immortal. I knew that I LOVE EVERYTHING... But then I was also suddenly faced with the recognition that I have attachment to "this life", that I couldn't let go of the love for my sister and of being this particular thing here. So I couldn't really be EQUANIMOUS LOVE. I tried, but facing that was sort of like hitting a brick wall - I just couldn't. I was coming back to my nature of Love again and again, but at the same time I sensed now that "I" was starting to come back. Also, at some point being God in that void "in charge" of reality became too much for me to handle and for a brief moment, I took off my blindfold. Then I came back to the void, relieved that actually there still IS reality to fall back on. But after that I think I basically started falling down in consciousness and it felt like suffering. I was trying to grasp to Love and to whatever I am at my essence (because I completely lost my identity) and I was just like a child: I WANT TO LOVE! PLEASE, I WANT TO LOVE! PLEASE! I guess long story short, in the end, after these intense ~2 hours, I numbly took off my blindfold, earphones and went to bed - of course not sleeping for almost the whole night, in a distracted state. Here are some additional things that I remember and I feel like are worth mentioning: At one point, I actually did feel into the fact that there's ALWAYS Me to fall back on. I would never actually be "in charge" of Reality. There's ALWAYS more of ME that I'm never tapping into. And I guess that's comfort. I felt relieved and loved understanding that. I felt cheated and betrayed when falling down in consciousness at the end. I know it's obvious, and it's not my first time, but it always stings. When falling down in consciousness, I felt like I was falling down into a MUCH more limited and crystalized understanding of myself. Veils beyond veils beyond veils. Like seriously, I felt like the daily life I'm living is just this COMPLETE dream. I don't know ANYTHING about fucking anything. I'm retarded consciousness. Retard Awakening ™... (Or yeah, a damn rat.) ... But yet, I also realized that I am ALWAYS Love. No matter what happens, I am ALWAYS It. It's always "at my disposal". So yeah - even as a retard, I still am Love (put that quote on a fridge). That was comfort too. Very hard to integrate. I would absolutely do it again but yeah, I feel a bit traumatized... It's hard. Thanks for reading. Sorry if it was a bit all over the place. I probably just need to roll into a ball and cry. "What am I?" - pointer I wrote for myself before the trip. Didn't utilize it much since I was blindfolded, but still.

Yes, I feel like I am. Thanks.

@Carl-Richard Thanks for the feedback. But I’m letting go a ton. I said I’m working on it because, as you can imagine, it’s a long process. In fact, I’d argue that my progress with awakening and deeper trips has been primarily a result of the deeper and deeper letting go. Mostly during the work in my daily life, of which I’m doing much. The trips are like the cherry on top.

Thanks! In the last years I always use a blindfold (+ whitenoise). It helps me stay focused. To see God, you have to go deep „inside”, and things happening „out there” are a distraction. Also, it’s (usually) SUCH a magical moment when you then take off the blindfold - you really see the world for the first time. Each to their own though. I suppose there’s also value in the question What is Reality?, so focusing on that would prolly entail staying with eyes open and e.g. looking at your hand. But I prefer the What Am I? question because I simply know it works, and I love it. I like to go very deep in my mind.