Sincerity

Hope You don't mind me asking, but how old are You? I'm sorry You are feeling this way. 😕 I understand You feel hopeless and lost. And yeah, it is really difficult sometimes. You are never a shame to God. The Universe is not judging You. Perhaps try to cut yourself some slack? Try relaxing and enjoying yourself more, at least for some time? I know it is easy to say but You can decide to relax a little and give up the clinging and fighting. With a narrowed down perspective everything may seem hopeless and unchangeable, it takes a bit of letting go to broaden the perspective and see some rays of hope and ways out of the situation. Your post doesn't sound ridiculous at all. Feelings like this appear and it's okay. You're going to be fine, don't worry! Everything is going to turn out good.

I usually linger in that state unconsciously for some time. I might feel resistance towards even escaping it. It sucks me in and I can be enjoying it a bit in a twisted way, even though I'm suffering. But then at some point I become conscious that I've been possessed again by some shit energy. I look at it and recall that it's not me and that it doesn't have to be this way. I "look at it" simply by feeling the energy consciously in my mind. If needed I will recall the memory when I felt that energy the strongest and focus my light of awareness on it. Additionally taking a walk usually helps me sort things out and talking to a voice recorder on my phone is great. I often combine the two (just did that an hour ago haha). I tell the truth about what's bugging me, I cry, I try to reach the essence of the feeling and feel into it. Then I'm freed and I can have some peace. For me, a great question to ask myself is "what is the truth about my feelings", i.e. how am I feeling, what's the problem. Usually the answer arises very fast. Then I feel it to its fullest, I cry, etc. Good question!

So everyone thinks. Until something You care about is fading away and You can't tell whether it's natural or You fucking up in some way - by "not mustering up motivation" or whatever. I'm not saying this applies to You. Just food for thought. Again, good luck.

I'm a bit too tired today to give feedback on your concrete points so I'll just say: good luck! Seems like You have a plan, what's left is execution right? Note: spiritual work/psychedelics has made a lot of my desires fade away. If You wanna be more motivated I'd suggest laying down psychedelics. (Though also I guess I'd say I'm effortlessly motivated towards things that "matter", that life itself is guiding me towards. This motivation from the spirit hasn't faded away, I don't think it can. Maybe some things You are doing don't matter to your spirit and You're doing them because You think You want them, or think You should. Yeah, spiritual work makes those things fade away. In my experience.)

It's even worse: we consider these problems/energies/repeating emotions ourselves. We're afraid of letting them go because we're afraid of losing us. It's utter misidentification. Very often it's hard to even start this technique (or any other form of looking at yourself) because You sense You could die doing it. Fear is so intelligently designed that it's "self-protective" and circular, You're afraid of even approaching it because You fear that if You let the fear go, something terrible will happen. It's BRILLIANT. It's infinity in the hands of a devil.

Hi there Welcome to the forum!

Us mods don't get any extra info. But from what I remember, Leo is working on 2 courses: Though this might not be up to date. You have to be patient.

Aww thank You, that's so sweet! I really appreciate it.

How come You guys don't comment on this? Come on, I'm curious what your little things for happiness are.

Own it & talk about stuff like this like it's completely obvious to You. Don't impose a worldview on others but at the same time share your truth (about your experiences). This is the right attitude in my opinion. You are doing the world (and yourself) a disservice by keeping stuff to yourself when You have a genuine urge to say something. Because 1) You are being timid and 2) others don't get the chance to learn from You. Even if it stings them at first, it is useful to them and everyone. Truth about your experiences should be shared. (in my view ) (when it feels right)

Good food Hot showers in the morning Laying in bed knowing I have a lot of time to sleep and I can play around with my mind Funny thoughts I love having visions and when I focus for a bit I experience plenty. I fucking love it, it's like having a home cinema inside my mind, I can be so immersed and be like woooow this is so coooool

Yeah Sometimes I can sit in public and suddenly laugh out loud at my thoughts. I was thinking about that just yesterday haha.

It'd be funny to press it 7.9B times, for the plot. For real though I wouldn't push it I deem, unless perhaps I was in a very low desperate state trying to keep my family alive or something. You never know what new lows You can reach.

Holy fuck lol. Glad You didn't die!

Everyone's journey is different. The quickest way is YOUR WAY. But nobody can tell You what that is for You. You must follow your intuition. Do what your heart nudges You towards. This is the way. And don't rush.

It depends how You look at it I guess. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Locking as per request.

I know what the hero's journey is, I'm just wondering why You're talking about some weird repetition of it. The hero's journey is your life. Nobody can steal your Holy Grail from You after it's complete.

What are You talking about? Please no ALL-CAPS titles.

Hey, I edited your thread so that everything is in the initial post. ^ Regarding the closing of this thread, it was closed by a fellow moderator probably because we've had many threads asking about videos/courses/the book already and they're really not adding value. Be patient! And don't worry about the user in your thread being rude, it's the internet.

Interesting distinction! I'd say thriftiness would be a subset of cheapness.

Yup Hahahaha My parents will always go on bragging about how cheap they bought some shoes or pants from a thrift shop, and always mention how nonsensical it is to buy things from company stores. They have these rules for themselves that they won't spend more than 100zł (~$25) on pants for example. Both have a fair share of trauma around money (even though they're not poor of course) and I know I have some too.

From what Barbella said, the situation was that he kept the better chocolate for himself and only let her have the cheaper one Aight aight, fair enough Actually in my culture cheapness can sometimes be seen as a positive quality too. If You have an idea of a stereotypical polish guy they're often seen as cheap. And there might be something to it. I'd say my parents have been pretty cheap. (but I'm CERTAINLY different!!!! hehe)

No offense (seriously) but I laughed out loud reading this A girl is saying that a man won't share a $4 chocolate with her and You're saying she should change her definition of cheapness... and that cheapness isn't objectively bad haha

This is a great question for shadow work. If You could avoid ONE thing and NEVER have to deal with it again, what would it be? If You could get rid of one thing in your life and never again have to care about it, what would it be? It is important that You find the one answer. Not many. One. Of course this is somewhat of a trick question because when You find this feeling/energy that You wish to avoid, well... You will be confronting it at that very moment. Stay with that difficult energy/vision and feel into it, experience it wholly until there's no more charge to it. If You do this correctly You will be a tiny bit purer after this. This is not an intellectual exercise. This is a FEELING exercise. You FEEL the answer and process it. Example of what answering this question was like for me today: If I could avoid one thing and never have to look at it again, what would it be? Hmm... A feeling of fear of writing my thesis comes up, but it's not that strong. No, that's not it. Fear of telling my father about my psychedelic use comes up, but it's not that strong, it feels doable. No, that's not it. Fear of getting into a relationship with one girl I would be ashamed of showing to my friends and family. Not that strong, that's not it. Then a sudden feeling of intense powerlessness washed over me. In my minds eye I saw a pitch black humanoid entity with white glowing eyes on a dark background. I was identifying with it. I had visions of "me" screaming crying, resisting an unknown force invading me, begging for help curled up on the floor. It was very dark. My entire body got tense, especially my legs and face. I had an extreme grimace on my face and felt strong tension in the head. It lasted for about 3-5 minutes and then the feeling of desperation started subsiding. The grimace on my face loosened and I started feeling calmer and more peaceful. Then finally it was done. Then a string of thoughts appeared about writing this here and here I am... Not sure about the origin of this feeling. But it felt like something important, very much hidden before was processed. Hope this resonates! Confront your demons - what You resist persists. And happy new year.