Sincerity

I don't feel there's any hope for me anymore. I'm destined to suffer, out of my own choice. I can't change for SHIT. Stuck in an internal war for ~8 fucking months. A monkey would have learned better by now. Fuck me. I'll be a heart on a string my whole life. Every once in a while after I feel like I've made some progress (understanding myself better, becoming conscious of energies/dynamics in the mind) a new wave of TIREDNESS, NUMBNESS AND HOPELESSNESS hits me shortly after. I just DON'T WANT TO FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE! EVERY FUCKING TIME! I HATE THIS FUCKING LIFE! I'D BE BETTER OF DRUGGING MYSELF OF DEATH. I GAVE UP PSYCHEDELICS A YEAR AGO BECAUSE I HAD FAITH I'D BE ABLE TO HANDLE MY MIND AND HAVE A GOOD LIFE WITHOUT THEM. I HAD FUCKING FAITH! BUT I WAS MISTAKEN. I HATE EVERYTHING AND IF I HAD THE POWER I WOULD FUCKING DESTROY EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. I DREAM ABOUT KILLING THE INTRUDERS IN MY MIND. I WANT TO KILL TO BE FUCKING LEFT ALONE AND FINALLY FIND PEACE. I DREAM OF STABBING MYSELF TO FINALLY FIND SILENCE. FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STABBING MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Asking for counter-arguments to the points you're holding.

Grades and school really is your bane man. I'm not mocking. I'm serious. You're making the same thread every now and then. You're in a loop. Break out! I know it's easy to say, but really notice that you're dealing with the same thing ALL THE TIME. You're in a literal eternal hell of repetition. As soon as you REALLY confront and banish that monster (which is quite a bit of consciousness work) you'll finally find a bit of peace.

Not sure if this has been posted yet but this is peak green lmao: https://www.youtube.com/@lovedontjudgeshow It did make me think how people click and fall for each other. Feels to me like a romantic relationship with someone when the whole world is against you is often times more genuine. Although these people do also compensate a lot, I feel.

Oh, right, got it. Thanks for the response!

Nvm watched it. @Leo Gura One thing I still can't distangle in my mind very well is the connection between red/blue-orange-green vs pre modern-modern-post modern. I know you suggested to view them as separate lenses entirely, however the spiral stages correlate a lot to what you said in the video in my mind. Also I still do prefer Greuter's stages where the Individualist stage encompasses post-modernism better I think. Another thing I thought about is how I'm trying to understand my mind/reality and treating them like something that is just there to understand for me, similarly to how a modernist would treat "objective" reality like it's just there for them to analyze scientifically. However, I treat my mind/reality in this way with a simultaneous view that everyone is different and my world is not another person's world. I'd honestly say I am really non-judgemental of people in this regard. Still, I think it's funny how you can view reality/mind as something other/external but JUST for you. I was mulling over what category this type of thinking would fall to. I guess the core difference between modern and post-modern here is "objective" reality vs my subjective reality, while both categories can view it as other/external, since it always kind of is (even when you see you're God). Good episode. I'm excited for future videos. And put that crap on podcast platforms pls!

Hey @Leo Gura, please put your post-modernism video on Spotify someday. Would love to listen to it. 🙏

My name is Skyler White yo..

My eyes bulged when I saw the title of this thread.

Great work. I didn't see this but wouldn't be able to take part anyway due to work. Anyway I'm going on a vipassana retreat in November for 10 days so I'll have plenty of solitude and detox there hehe. Wishing you all the best, keep moving.

Yes, divine purpose. Which has nothing to do with human reasons like boredom or human purpose. Which cannot be explicated. Life has divine meaning, and this meaning is in no way separate from life/reality itself, because what it points to is only itself.

No I didn't. Reread what I wrote. I said "Assumption after assumption" in regard to your specific quote ("There is little reason to hold on to this seemingly insignificant life if we are ultimately destined to forget it and reincarnate into something new."). Sorry, are you reading at all?

Assumption after assumption. You don't know what happens. How would you know what a perfect existence is characterized by? Also there is divine purpose. Did I say that?

It's not out boredom. Boredom is a human reason. You could say all reasons are human reasons. There is reason and then there is Reason.

Lately I really started appreciating the value of getting AI to counteract my points. So here's my conversation with ChatGPT just now: Refute this with counterarguments: *inserted my post from above* "While your perspective on Joe Rogan and the value of creative output is understandable, it's important to consider some counterarguments that highlight the complexities of the issues surrounding him. 1. Influence and Responsibility: Joe Rogan's platform is massive, reaching millions of listeners. With such a large audience comes significant responsibility. When he spreads misinformation or sympathizes with controversial views, it can have real-world consequences. While mistakes are inevitable, the stakes are much higher for someone with his level of influence. Criticizing him isn't necessarily about "hating" but about holding influential figures accountable for the potential harm they can cause. 2. Impact on Public Discourse: Rogan's platform isn't just about creativity; it's also about shaping public discourse. When he gives a platform to certain viewpoints, particularly those that are factually incorrect or harmful, it can amplify dangerous ideas. This isn't just about creative expression—it's about the ethical implications of spreading information that can mislead or harm society. Critics argue that without proper fact-checking or accountability, this can be deeply problematic. 3. Criticism vs. Creation: While creating your own content is valuable, criticizing others, especially when they have a significant impact, is also important. Constructive criticism can lead to improvement and greater accountability. It's not about bringing someone down but about ensuring that influential voices contribute positively to society. Public figures, especially those with vast reach, should expect and welcome criticism as a part of the discourse they contribute to. 4. False Equivalence: The idea that criticism is inherently negative or villainous overlooks the role of healthy debate and disagreement in society. Criticism, when done constructively, is essential for growth—both for individuals and society. It’s not about being a "background character" but about participating actively in a collective conversation. Dismissing critics as "low-level villains" can undermine the importance of accountability in a healthy democracy. 5. The Balance of Output and Responsibility: Creative output is valuable, but it doesn't absolve someone from the consequences of their actions. A high volume of content does not inherently justify the spread of misinformation or controversial views without challenge. Appreciating someone's output doesn't mean overlooking the potential harm they may cause; both can be acknowledged and addressed simultaneously. In conclusion, while it's admirable to appreciate creative output, it's equally important to consider the broader implications of a public figure's actions, especially when they have a significant platform. Criticism, when rooted in concern for the public good, plays a vital role in ensuring that influential voices contribute positively to society." Now refute your own points with counterarguments. "Certainly! Here's a refutation of the counterarguments I presented earlier: Influence and Responsibility: While it's true that Joe Rogan has a significant platform, it's important to recognize that his podcast is known for its open, free-form discussions rather than as a source of authoritative information. Listeners generally understand that they are tuning into a wide range of opinions, some of which may be controversial or incorrect. Rogan often encourages listeners to think critically and do their own research, rather than taking everything said on the podcast as fact. In this sense, Rogan’s role isn’t to act as a gatekeeper of truth but to explore a wide array of perspectives. Impact on Public Discourse: While some worry that Rogan’s platform amplifies harmful ideas, it can also be argued that exposing these ideas to open discussion is better than suppressing them. When controversial viewpoints are brought into the public discourse, they can be critically examined, debunked, or refined. Suppressing these ideas might drive them underground, where they can fester unchecked. Rogan's platform provides an opportunity for controversial ideas to be confronted in the open, which can be more effective in the long run. Criticism vs. Creation: While criticism is essential, it's also important to remember that Rogan’s format is based on exploring ideas rather than endorsing them. Criticism aimed at Rogan might sometimes overlook the fact that he is not positioning himself as an expert, but as a facilitator of conversation. Encouraging people to create their own content, rather than just criticizing, fosters a more constructive environment where diverse voices can be heard. Additionally, Rogan’s approach—letting the audience decide—respects the intelligence and autonomy of his listeners. False Equivalence: While healthy debate and criticism are important, it’s also crucial to avoid conflating criticism with constructive engagement. Constant criticism of Rogan can sometimes border on cancel culture, where the goal seems more about silencing someone than engaging with their ideas. Instead of constantly criticizing public figures like Rogan, it might be more productive to engage in meaningful dialogue or create alternative platforms that offer different perspectives. Moreover, dismissing Rogan’s critics as "background characters" might sound harsh, but it emphasizes the idea that creating positive change often requires more than just tearing others down—it requires building something better. The Balance of Output and Responsibility: While Rogan’s creative output doesn't absolve him from responsibility, it’s important to appreciate the scale and diversity of his work. It’s unrealistic to expect someone who produces such a vast amount of content to be flawless. His podcast spans a wide range of topics, from comedy to science to culture, and the occasional misstep should be weighed against the overall value he provides. The sheer volume and variety of content Rogan produces means that some mistakes are inevitable, but that doesn’t necessarily diminish the value of his contributions as a whole. In conclusion, while the original counterarguments highlight valid concerns, there are also strong reasons to appreciate Joe Rogan’s approach. His open-mindedness, willingness to explore diverse viewpoints, and encouragement for listeners to think critically play a valuable role in modern discourse, even if he occasionally stumbles along the way." Pretty cool.

I'm sorry man. I hope you find peace. Be aware of the narrative you're telling yourself about your role in his suicide. ALL depends on what you're telling yourself. All of your emotions. It's not your fault.

I think Joe Rogan is great. He gets a lot of shit for sympathizing with the right a bit or spreading misinformation but fact of the matter is you can't be perfect. The guy is doing a lot of things in life, posting a lot of content and there's always gonna be fuck ups. You gotta appreciate his output and the openmindedness he brings to the interviews. Obviously there is merit to criticisms of him, but I'm saying that it's not that significant compared to the amount of creative output he's produced. I think we should appreciate people with a big creative output more and if we disagree with them, we should best create our own stuff, express our own voice. I think it's always best to focus on your own creation rather than bring down others'. Let your work be more amazing, more inspiring, more truthful. But you might find that it's really difficult to not make mistakes and you will probably be shit on. The hero does his own thing. The low level villains are obstacles, they're just on the hero's path for him/her to push through. It's such background-character energy to be hateful towards others.

He's not a sexist. He's an egotist.

I do not care and I do not want to be taken care of. Fuck the family. Fuck friends. Fuck everyone. Everyone keeps telling me about their bullshit and I just DON'T CARE. Calling my mum and she's telling me about her STUPID SHIT. People messaging me with their crap. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. When are you going to fucking get that? And I don't care about telling people about my shit. It is really shit when I think about it. Seriously, who gives a fuck? I JUST FUCKING WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE! The only one I care about is my partner.

You are a good thinker. Respect.

At least you have to have true determination to delete them. It gets that authentic desire out of you. It's not that bad if you're really set on it. I deleted my instagram account 2 months ago after waiting 30 days. I didn't care because I was sure that was the right call, and still am. Earlier this year I deleted my Steam account after 8 years, after having to wait 30 days as well. With costly games, hundreds of hours played, rare items, etc.. Don't regret nothing. It's good that you can't entirely delete your account on a whim because you might really regret it later. So forcing you to wait weeks to mull over your decision is quite wise in my opinion.

Don't fondle his balls too hard. It's not about him or anyone else.

Why would you post quotes that are not his

Partly this is true, but also you don't truly have "control" over what happens there. You can use your awareness to focus on certain energies (to act on them, to feel them out) but that's just that, awareness. Besides that they're living "their own lives" in a sense. And you're an infinite sandbox of these energies, an entire universe / dimension in its own, a battlefield. Perhaps the one and only universe in fact. Yup, cool.

Every story / myth / whatever is inspired by real imaginings of the mind. I now understand the stories of saints fighting with demons or the devil. I can see "a being" behind every thought I have. Some more saintly, some more hellish. All of the hindu gods "exist", or at least they exist for whoever sees them. All of the myth and stories which "humans came up with" (= were experienced with the mind's eye) were "true" (= were indeed played off in the mind's eye). It is quite obvious to say that "a story was first thought", nobody will disagree with that. But most will disagree that it was thus real. Well, it was! Just differently! With my mind's eye I see hellish, inhuman creatures. Sometimes angelic ones as well. And long consistent stories play off in my mind. For months (from December to July) a quest unraveled in my mind regarding me "catching" and understanding the fox. Before that there was a story about the snake. And now a story about a hawk is playing off. And other ones simultaneously as well. People don't understand that what happens in the mind is real. It's a different kind of real, but still real. You don't understand there is seriousness and meaning behind what happens there. And even when you shut off the mind these stories still play off unconsciously in physical reality. And then you don't see why this body of yours is doing what it's doing. WHAT YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS OF IS STILL THERE! In spite of what some people tell you, it's not just THIS in front of you. So fucking simplistic and stupid. These same people would see a fake apple and try to bite it. They would see a red dot from a laser on the wall and try to catch it. No consciousness behind these eyes. Instead of seeing deeper they're seeing shit in 2D. There is THOUGHT behind EVERYTHING. Thought being the reason, meaning, energy, will. I'm tired of people disregarding workings of the mind.