Lila9

I bookmarked it. Thank you. According to the list I'm a trauma healing queen?

When I was in art school I've met 3 girlfriends, introverts, cool quirky and it was fun, magical and new because most of my life I was "adopted" by extrovert girls (and boys) in high school and later in work which is fantastic but I craved for people in my life that I can relate to, especially women. I don't say that it was easy, it still was challenging for a nervous and shy ass like me but I remember it as a positive experience of meeting people I can relate to while pursuing my biggest hobbie. My problem is that I'm bad at being in touch, especially with other introverts, especially if we are distant and I have a period of bad mental health so the friendship naturally ended when art school ended, except of random likes and dm's on social media from time to time. I agree that it's not easy to find good female friends, I'm not sure why, apart from the fact that we live in a fast and alienate modern world, I guess we are just too afraid from each other for some reason? And too hard on ourselves and other women while trying to get the social pass card in the "men's world" that we are good and worthy enough? I sense by your words that you really crave geniune connection with other women and I understand this feeling well. I know for sure that there are bunch of us with the same desire. I think you can find friendly and intresting women in workshops designed for women. Maybe yoga classes for women only or some meditation, dancing meditation circles and other intresting workshops of art, poetry, spirituality, witch crafts, sports, nature, fashion, depending on your interests and hobbies. Good luck ❤️

Approaching a woman: basic contact in order to know her and show interest, might include mutual playfulness. Sexual harassment: making a woman that you have no romantic ground with feel uncomfortable and unsafe around you by implying about sex, complimenting her about parts of her body (especially breast and butt), touching her without permission or context, asking her for sexual favors, making sexual jokes etc.

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@ThinAir Aww I see. Thank you for explanation.

I've met various types of people who were interested in spirituality and defined themselves or by others as spiritual. Some of them swore and saw no problem with that while others were very carful and used polite and clean language. I assume that the justification of those who swear and curse is that it's a way to express anger and other negative emotions like frustration and disappointment, and that it's healthier to express anger in that form rather than to keep the negative emotions boiling inside. Moreover, those are just words constructed and defined by us as negative. The justification of those who don't curse and swear might be that they belive it decreases the vibration and creates a negative vibe which is contiguous and harmful, especially for sensitive beings like sensitive people, children and animals. Also, words have power and we should use words carefully. According to science (from a quick glance on Google), it's written that people who curse and swear are more intelligent, honest, creative and extroverted than those who don't (do you agree?). Some people see cursing and swearing as "cool" and even attractive while others might see it as a vulgar and uneducated behaviour of not so very smart and moral people. What do you think about cursing and swearing (especially in relation to spirituality)? Do you think that it's necessary or not? Do you belive it's harmful for your spiritual path or not? Do you tend to curse and swear? If you do how often and why IYO?

As I interpret it I think that you expressed some not very smooth process or even reluctant process to acceptance or reconciliation with your masculine side, integration of the masculine as it defined by society? Anyways, I love this piece. Thank you for sharing your creation. You are very photogenic and I have to say that you look good with both long hair and no hair.

It's normal to disagree and have clashes. The question is how one does that and for what purpose.

Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the way you do a honest self reflection in this forum. People are more likely to respect people who respect them. I think that people should be more kind and respectful with each other, regardless the message. We are very similar in a way we all share a human experience but also very different which is an intresting paradox that one should take into account when he interacts with an another human being, each time. There are always better ways to communicate what we want to say without attacking. Communication skills which also overlap interpersonal skills are a matter of practice, patience and awarness to our use of language. Better society and world starts from individuals who are good with communication and interpersonal skills, in my opinion. About this forum, I learn many things from people in this place. Here we have some wise people who write and explain complex matters, opinions and thoughts, I don't know if there any other places like this online. Here I read posts of people that make me simply want to take their minds and study them. Even though sometimes there are posts that are annoying for me or things that I'm not agree with I prefer to ignore it if I sense that my opinion won't make any difference or that I'm wasting my time rather than entering into useless clashes. It's very easy to enter into ego clashes, especially online and I do have the nasty spark sometimes to attack or say negative things but then I try to give it a second thought.

Contemplate yourself as an old near to death person. Take death into account, one day you'll die. Now you are young but not for your entire life. One day you'll be old and you will have some regrets. Live your live to minimize the regrets you might have.

I'm a woman but if I was a man I would like to be a combination of keanu Reeves, Osho, Socrates and Jesus

LOL You contradict yourself too much. I'm not even going to continue this discussion because it will lead to nowhere. Good luck.

I don't belive that most of them were aware enough to even experiment it. In order to experiment it one should doubt gender differences, and their own biases regarding gender roles. As long as one beliefs in gender differences as an inherent truth and isn't aware to his own biases, like people used to in the past (more than today) they won't even try to check it. That shit really sounds traumatizing, seems like from your pov adults treat girls more positively. Maybe you still have some resentment from your childhood towards your dad who humiliated you and your girl cousin who was treated better than you. Look at it and see how it impacts your way of thinking and seeing the world. Our early experiences design us but not always in a positive way. Check if there is any wound to heal or any false believes you hold. I'm sure there are. I sense it in you. I don't understand it. You want women to become more of a men but you don't want to be more of a woman? So how change is even possible? You want to get compassion and kindness from women, but don't you think that they also want to get it from men? In order to get to common ground and change the family system from it's roots as you've mentioned, we need more men who are willing to quetion man's gender role, we need cooperation between men and women and it's only possible when men are connected to their feminine side. If women will be more of a men while men don't want to be more of a women, we will live in a world full of men. We live in this world now and it's awful. We need more men who are willing to connect to their feminine side. If the idea of connecting to your feminine side triggering you, it means that this is exactly what you should do. Feminism is hopeful about men. It's attacking toxic masculinity only because it believes in healthier form of masculinity. And it's true, there are wonderful and healthy men. It implies more on your level of consciousness and spiritual development level than wether you are a man or a woman. The more conscious you are, the more beings you care about.

I think that one can get closer to the truth with asking many good questions. One question isn't enough, it's still good because it's the begining of the journey but it's not enough. Yes, it's suck that many or most of the questions being asked are judgmental, not good enough and annoying and it's ok not to answer them. The type of questions one has represents his evolutionary stage of consciousness, I would try to look at this with more compassion- It will naturally reduce the annoyance. Another reason not to answer is that we aren't always know or aware to the answers or our answers might be useless or even cause damage to ourselves and others. There are many cases when better to say nothing. It's ok to say nothing.

I would do everything, including lying and manipulating, if it's needed and can save my life or the life of my loved ones. In my opinion, hypocrisy is inherent part of us, we always will have double standards to some degree, many which we aren't even aware to. Still, it's importent to try to be aware to our own bullshit, the awarness itself is the key to be less of a hypocrite. I read once that Osho said an intresting thing about lying which I liked. He said bluntly that even though constant lying and pretending might cause us mental and spiritual harm, it's still very rooted into society and it's hard to survive without lying or pretending at all. So if you feel that it's really required, do that but be aware to that, don't do that unconsciously, don't identify with your own masks, lies and manipulation.

It's one book written by one person with her own biases. Have you read the critics about the book? Have you checked the researches she based her book about? Have you read contradictory books? I don't say this book is accurate or not, I also don't really know if gender differences occur since birth or by socialization. I tend to belive that it's more of socialization and in reality people are much more complex. I did read that parents tend to treat boys and girls differently since birth, so it might have an impact on boys face recognition abilities. Iyo, are you still dumb af emotionally? What did you do (or still do) to overcome it? for me my main struggles were periods of depression and social anxiety in my adolescence, childhood trauma and neglect, poverty, cluelessness about myself and the world, being an easy pray for abuse, self doubt, a constant feeling of detachment from this world and society, being an outsider and feeling misunderstood. It took me many years to have the insights and the understanding I have about myself and the world today. It was very tough this entire process and I could end up differently. Your view, where women born goddess and men born monkeys. Let's say that it's true. What are the practical steps women should do now as a collective in order to get to the fixation and rescue men from their own emotional dumbness? And if they do that and take the steps collectively to improve or "fix" men, what promising that men will be listening and willing to change? What about feminism? Many men ignore that because it comes from women and don't serve the patriarchal agenda. Are you as an individual ready to have outer female authority to guide you? Will you take it seriously? Won't it clash with your ego? Do you aware to the female inside you? Do you care about connecting to your female side?

Lol No one was born a human. We become humans, we are trained to be humans in a way our culture define "being a human". Look at the abuse stories of the kids, boys and girls who has been raised, in a complete solitude without proper socializing, or those who had been raised with animals without any interaction with a single human being. They all act like animals, or monkeys if you wish. We all start there, and gradually develop to be less of a monkey alike or animal alike. You might feel helpless and ineligible but it doesn't mean that all men feel like you and it doesn't mean that some women don't feel like you. You're projecting your self bias upon all men in the world, including the wisest and strongest men in the world. It's just like I belive that I'm helpless and ineligible and project it on all the women in the world, including the wisest and strongest women that is there. That's only projection, an illusion that has nothing to do with reality. Reality is much more complex. I don't compare myself to you because obviously, regardless gender we are different people, but, do you think that I didn't put efforts and attempts to be what I am today? You bet that I struggled, a lot, and it took me so much trial and error, time and experiences to be who I am now. And who I am now isn't even the final version of me, I have so much more where to develop and grow. It's life time learning process. Boys and girls were socialized differently. Girls were socialize to be tuned to the emotions of others and boys were socialized to be individualistic and detached from the emotions of others. But both genders socialize to repress their own emotions. It's a big problem. As a grown man with much more awareness than you had as a child you can learn to reconnect with your own emotions. It's a personal process that no one can do for you. No one is able to reconnect to your own emotions, no man or woman in this entire world. Only you. Here's a guide: People have corrupted brains for survivul purposes and it become less corrupted as their level of consciousness rises. What is your definition of smart? Do you mean to emotional intelligence? It's only one kind of intelligence out of many and you can develop it. Here are some tips to improve your emotional intelligence: More types of intelligence:

It's known that humans tend to be biased in favor of charismatic, beautiful, powerful (or other socially valued advantages) people. If the majority of people agree that a certain person has charisma, does his charisma affect everyone the same? I feel that some of us are less likely to be paralyzed by beauty or charisma. If so, what makes people less likely to be affected by charisma? A healthy sense of critical thinking? Intelligence? Self-reliance? I can think of traits that might make people get attracted more to charismatic people such: young age and lack of experience, avoidance in taking responsibility for oneself, magical thinking and ignorance. Those are rough thoughts of mine and I would like to know what do you think about this subject. Also, do you think you tend to be more or less affected by the charisma of others, compared to other people? Why? Thank you

I hear a lot of talk in the spiritual community about crystals and their effect on our body, soul, mind, many times as a tool for chakras healing, cleaning the aura and raising the vibration. It might sound like some stage green nonsense but I really want once and for all to understand if there's something about it. I'm curious to hear what do you think about it, I don't know much but assume that it has more power beyond placebo. I can't explain logically why but I assume that touching/holding crystals affects us the same as touching/seeing trees&plants, walking bare feet, being in water and being generally in nature has. Also, I would like to get some high-quality resources about crystals, like book recommendations (if there are some). Thank you

I'm a generator and it's pretty flattering although I don't feel like a generator. Reading the other types I don't feel like any of them describes me well either. This theory is intresting and complex and I wonder what is the difference between this and Astrology? Both are based on birth data. If this theory is accurate, does it mean that Astrology too?

Given the opportunity, women are great leaders. Your view is biased. Emotions don't make you less of a leader, and the fact that some men are ignorant of their emotions, doesn't mean that they aren't exist or don't affect them in some way.

There is a difference between toxic masculinity and healthy masculinity. When women talk about their will of being protected by men they talk about healthy masculinity. Toxic masculinity isn't protective but either controlling of the woman or too dependent on the woman. Women can try to "touch man's heart" as you say, but if he isn't willing to help to himself or is too biased against women it's almost impossible. One should take the responsibility to be a better version of himself and not wait until someone saves him. It's important both for men and women. A child doesn't live in a vacuum, he lives in society and it also has an impact on the child, some will argue that it has much bigger impact. Also, a father, whether he is present or absent, still has an impact on the child's psychology, character and future. I don't agree that men are barely monkeys who hunt for food. If men are that, women also that, we all started as monkeys who spent hours for hunting and gathering food. You might be dismissive but hunting animals for food isn't easy as it sounds. Watch some documentaries about Hunter-gatherer tribes and you will be amazed by the complicity of it and the things you need to take into account in order to have a meal for one or a few days. It is much simpler to go to the supermarket and buy your food. There are intelligent, sensitive, complex and strong men in our world and that's a proof that men can get far if they will, with or without women. A man can choose consciously what kind of man he wants to be and work for it, as much as women can. It doesn't matter if women are those who are responsible for your failure or not, let's say that women collectively responsible for you being suck, why should you wait until they will take the responsibility and fix it? Better to take your power now and be the best man you can be instead of creating story narratives and excuses like "man is barely the monkey around that hunt for food" and miserably believe in it for the rest of your life.

Do you work with crystals? Do you know when I can get high-quality information about it?

I tried to hold and mediate with a clear white crystal and I felt relief in my body as if I took some drug. I want to take it further and I wonder why it made me feel this way; I want to know if there is any explanation for that or if it's just placebo effect. I want to know it intellectually, partially because of curiosity and partially because I want to have some theory to support the practice. Is that that bad?

Interesting. Do you attribute this feeling to placebo or something beyond?