Chives99

bunch of dudes here need to work on practicing self- love . How can you be open to being vulnerable with someone if you dont love yourself, when you love yourself you dont need anything from anyone then your personality and charisma shines through. In terms of meeting a partner you need to find someone who gels with your personality, ive encountered plenty of women that i found physically attractive but i didnt gel with their personality so no point in dating them, although i wouldn't turn my nose at sex if it was on the table, but i dont think most warm blooded males would, doesnt mean i would want to date them though incompatibility issue

@Karmadhi he's a narcissist, has no respect for anyone, especially women, dupes desperate guys with his webcam business and entraps women into with his abusive business model, guy has multiple rape charges hanging over him, claims violence is always the answer and that you're not a man unless you're throwing your weight around bullying people. Guy acts like a toxic war lord,

I'm not saying they follow them but they give off that persona, you can spot them when they act like they're better than you and give no respect, a guy should be kind.

When a woman i know is all giddy and smiley and happy around me and acting very sweet, thats the perfect indicated for me to ask her out. As an autistic guy im taking a leap of faith and dropping my logical rules that ive clung to like a baby for so long and instead going for indicaters which are vibes and feelings or cues. I'm trying to blend the positives of the neurotypical and neuro diverse thinking.

I've come across plenty of andrew tate type guys in their 30's or guys with very conservative values " women must be submissive to men , its the natural order of things" yadda yaddda yadda . I've seen them on their phones copy and pasting scripts , seeing multiple women at once, mind you manipulating all these women into sleeping with them will never create a deep connection so i feel sorry thats how shallow their lives are, I would screen for them types if hes not interested in connecting with you.

@somegirl you can mix things up both drinking and social groups, it does take quite a bit of searching which is why i moved to the city, wasnt going to meet anyone being a farm boy. Be open to it as my parents said when you meet the right person it will just happen like magic, although working on yourself certainly helps a lot

@somegirl I'd recommend getting out and being social multiple times a week, are there social invents like meetups or city socialisers nearby to you, great places for meeting guys, or you could participate in a hobby or interest group or some class, great way to meet people. You could go out drinking with your girlfriends and meet guys that way. Personally I'm attracted to women that are very sweet and smiley and give very affectionate looks when they're attracted to me, when i get that eye contact from a girl that gives me the confidence to go up and strike a conversation with her, I don't know your personality type but definately having open body language and being positive will encourage guys to talk to you in social settings. If a womans body language is closed that just makes me think shes not interested in talking to anyone. You could go to shows or music venues and meet guys that have similar tastes to you, ask for their number go for a drink 1 on 1 see if you hit it off. If you are feeling really bold you could go up and talk to a guy yourself that will work really well.

I'm not talking about engaging with drug users , they're rather unpleasant anyway that need help getting off it, you can certainly do research and find reputable sources where the woman is doing it part time as something extra and enjoys the thrill of meeting new people and is very sexual . In the latter it's really no different than porn

just a bit of consensual fun between adults, whats the problem?

@Leo Gura you really know how to sell it lol

Self-Love - The Highest Teaching In The Universe The Paradox Of Developing Self-Trust The Power Of Letting Go - How To Overcome Clinginess, Attachment, OCD

dont worry man you'll find the right person , you just have to keep on putting yourself out there

why would she date someone she isnt attracted to?? would you??? no i dont think so.

lol do your research theres certainly hidden gems

men dont need to get to know someone to have sex with them i think thats the difference. i see

suppose that doesnt really help you though, men have much higher sex drives

I get that women need a connection for sex, but if you're very sexual engaging a service could work and massages arent sex they just give touch which the person may crave.

if shes nervous its usually because she likes you, so as a guy being cool and stoic but at the same nice friendly and warm will make her comfortable as for the open relationship, its not going to be anymore than sex as shes not going to leave her partner, my dad was with a woman in an open marriage for years, stupidly believed she was going to leave him for my dad

I was in conversation with a girl we were talking about work but I couldn't help myself but look into her eyes with fondness and a thought popped into my head saying 'god you're beautiful' she then went red with blushing and we forgot what we were talking about and im thinking 'shit can she read my mind, damn telepaths' it was a nice moment i wanted to share.

You can get erotic massages that are very spiritually cleansing or visit a sex worker read some reviews but don't ever develop feelings for them lol

Autistic women generally are usually very anxious, it's hard to get them to be open and flirtatious and sexual. My first girlfriend stared down at the floor . Neuro typical women aren't like this I can flirt and be sexual with them right off the bat. I'm great at eye contact and flirting but being overly logical is my personal down fall and being overly emotional about setbacks ,(thinking the world's going to end) some of my best friends are autistic guys we understand each others quirks.

I've decided to go back to therapy as I can't understand the neurotypical , neurodiverse communication barrier and its causing me distress and problems, my brain is to logical and tries to logical formulate how to get to know a girl, autistic people also are more emotionally sensitive and get upset more easily over setbacks and mistakes and difficulties leading to lower self esteem. I need to develop emotional resilience and realise the sky isnt going to fall if i make a blunder or theres a miscommunication. I said to my therapist i need x amount of rapport before i ask her out and he said " now thats a rule , neurotypicals dont operate via rules, rules are just guidelines and can be broken if it doesnt fit them in the moment, what would you do if a girl asked you out as soon as you met her would you reject because it goes against your rule book". Logic doesnt work for socialising this means each situation is unique and can't be pinned down into neat rigid boxes, its not black and white, its infinite shades of grey. Neurotypicals behave on vibe and feeling in the moment where I would consult my logical mental notepad of stuff ive done in the past and try to pull something from that but because socialising is fluid it would confuse them as im trying to apply something that cant be cross applied to this new situation. I do have to say though autism is good at remembering everything socially I'm like bill murray on groundhog day where i remember everything about everyone and how they behave it also helps when psychology and personal development and humanitarian stuff are your special interests. I decided to throw my rule book away and just ask her out she said she was seeing someone at this moment of time but im glad i was able to do it and throw away my rules and now she knows im interested if she want to in the future. MY thereapist laughed " we'll make a neurotypical out of you yet" although i still like my autism for my special interests and quirkiness. I made 3 sticking points to get out of logical mode when getting to know a girl and trying to figure out where shes interested or not because its not a case of shes interested or not interested , in or out, its 50% interest, 60% interest 70% interest or whatever, many shades of grey and she may even consider you if she wasnt dating anyone. my sticking points are Dont need convo from her (Trying to figure out if she reciprocates and is interested ) dont need attention from or care about her opinion of you (trying to figure out if im in or out in terms of having a chance) Dont listen in to guys shes talking about (Trying to figure out whether to go for it or not) the only exception to that last one is if you hear her say she has a boyfriend, then you can call her out if she does continue to flirt " dont you have a boyfriend". that will stop game playing. Essentially here im trying to let go of knowing the autistic brain analysies everything to death but the bottom line is you cant tell what shes thinking theres over a million variables, a bit of reflection is good to give you some general ideas about stuff going on, but you cant know it entirely, its like heisenbergs uncertainty principle, the more you try to pin reality down, the more it escapes from you.

@somegirl can you not drive or use public transportation? you can find plenty of providers online

if you are getting the police called on you, you are clearly doing something wrong, maybe its because you're trying to force conversation and not letting it be natural, not following any social cues; also why dont you try and approach in situations where people actually go to socialise or are in a nice relaxed environment where they are not running about their day. I want to add threatening to call the police is just a deterrent to get you to back off they arent going to do it unless you continue to harass them, just back off, if its in a non social environment they dont know what your intentions are and it can be scary

@Raze good luck with that