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Everything posted by Holykael

  1. God could easily manifest a world without money where everything is provided and there's no hardship. Instead stubbornly god will manifest all possible miseries. Why is it so? Does anyone have an answer? Why just why?
  2. Look at this being that god created and doomed to suffering. One day I'll be this being. Why give reality to this. God is a monster and I am that monster. Can't cope.
  3. I think creation would prefer if it had never been created at all. I speak for myself as this creation's MC. God wants to create at expense of other beings in lower states of consciousness suffering... If I knew what my life was going to be like I would have never agreed to be created but god doesn't ask for permission.
  4. I have plenty of evidence for solipsism. I've seen people turn into puppets in front of me and there's plenty of easter eggs god left for me such as Leo's video where he admits he's a figment of my imagination and a few others. Just look. I'm arguing with a ghost lmao. I had my own awakening on LSD
  5. Even if I win. It wasn't worth all the suffering. Play stupid games, get stupid prizes. It's so unfair, with this current consciousness I would never choose to play this but the big consciousness doesn't give a shit about the little guy clearly.
  6. You don't get it. I'm the solipsist. I know I wrote everyone's lines and I can't get that out of my head, you think I want a bot I created as a girlfriend? I no longer have sexual needs even. I can't relate to people without thinking they don't even exist and that they are empty inside.
  7. Games are only fun because they are not reality. I don't want a hard game to be reality, ever.
  8. Yeah right. That's easy for someone who has never tasted existence to say but who's going to burn in hell, be crucified, etc countless times? Always me. It is that bad. I've tasted how bad things can get and I didn't get the worst of it so by comparison I can tell.
  9. This is why god is a horrible atrocity that should not ever have existed. Just one life here won't make up for a million suffering free lives
  10. Just imagine a baby who is popped instantly into existence with no one around. This baby can get up and walk and he is in a completely mysterious and magical place. He is in a maze and there are distractions everywhere. The baby shifts from dimension to dimension experiencing himself in various forms. There are amusement parks and all kinds of fun things. Huge screens with baby content. There's a room with huge tits so he can feed himself. If he poops in his diaper, a mom bot will arrive and change him allowing the baby to continue his journey down the rabbit hole. At the end of his journey the baby dissolves happily into infinite love. This is a beautiful reality but since god is an infinite bastard just imagine what the polar opposite of this reality looks like. Baby is in hell and undergoes several tortures before burning in a hellfire. God has no bias for one pr the other, the odds of manifesting one or the other are completely equal. God has no concept of wholesomeness. And this is why folks I'm depressed. No matter what beautiful and enriching realities I think of, the shadow realities are there as well rearing their ugly heads.
  11. You really think god will put someone in that "awakened" state for a long time? God wants people to live life and suffer. I was once in this childlike state where everything was magical and new but it didn't last very very long, it was a high state induced by psychedelic. You can't control your state of consciousness
  12. You guys are too narrow minded and attached to logic. You think in infinity god won't create self aware intelligent dogs or cats or even ants. Everything is possible. No brain required. Humans are intelligent as a pure magic trick of consciousness, a simulation. The brain is just a backstory that doesn't actually do anything. Where in direct experience is this brain working.
  13. https://open.spotify.com/track/11YissO8B7qxGDT8HCcN2Q?si=tcTtCr2ISrWEEEJfFwuz7Q https://open.spotify.com/track/2SzCxX6M6vDwdEwnHDiTaY?si=KcdSZw7dRTCVFhosO9ig0g
  14. The feeling of love. Pure love for everyone and everything or for nothing at all.
  15. There are only three things that would satisfy me. The ability to kill god, the ability to create a reality to my liking or feeling love 24/7 for no reason.
  16. The lottery would only quench my worries about survival but it wouldn't make me happy. What would make me happy is lost forever. My innocence, identity and joyful outlook on life.
  17. If this world made sense. Everyone would discover me and put me down and end all suffering once and for all.
  18. No. Let it be. The truth must be laid bare. I once cried deeply for my dog who died from cancer. He was put down and by the time he died he was also really skinny. I loved him deeply. But now I see all that is hypocrisy if I'm truly god I gave him that cancer. What kind of love is that. I am pure evil.
  19. Yeah it's hard to accept being that. I wish god was annihilated and this character be put in its place instead to rule in hope, freedom, strength and love for eternity. But unfortunately I am temporary and what remains is this no good machiavellian peace of crap. It uses others to praise itself but there is nothing to praise. It's an absolute horror show.
  20. “You are not you--you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream--your dream, a creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever—for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better! Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago—centuries, ages, eons, ago!—for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane—like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell—mouths mercy and invented hell—mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him! You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks—in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier. It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream—a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought—a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!” Satan, The Mysterious Stranger
  21. If I had no bodily sensations I wouldn't see any problem with this creation. If you look at the world as if it was a story, you would say wow what a great story but living in it can be actual hell. My shift in perspective is that the only evil god has committed is putting himself in his creation in this manner. If I could just be a camera attached to this body but without bodily sensations there would be nothing wrong with this world. I had a great time in this world despite all the moments of suffering for 26 years and there was even a moment where I grieved for the end of that chapter in my life (I heard a voice in my head saying "say goodbye to your life"). I also had a dream where the love of my life said to me in a demonic voice that I would never be happy again. My life was really well designed for those 26 years, I had a great time and a lot of fulfilling experiences. But now it's all over and all signs point that I'll never experience satisfaction again. I only hope that the "me" disappears and I realize that nobody is actually here. I'm the problem, everything is fine as it is. I doubt this will actually happen, I think god wants to keep me around. I think that's incredibly cruel but nothing I can do to change things.
  22. No matter what mask I put on I'll forever be the only conscious being in existence. No one will ever hear this song, it'll always be me and I'll always generate some reaction to it, any reaction can be programmed so can we even say that god is authentic. Authenticity is only an illusion because god doesn't have a fixed perspective, god is either an infinity of perspectives or no perspective at all, no opinion. I may say this song kicks ass and it makes me feel good but that reaction is in itself manufactured, I could easily attach some nasty states of consciousness when listening to this song and now I would say that it sucks. Is this song truly good? or am I just imagining that it's good. There's zero objectivity, only relative perspectives crafted from the manipulation of states of consciousness.
  23. If there's only now and now is infinite time where else would it be manufactured
  24. I can just put lines in people's mouths and they'll act it out to a tee. Reality is my canvas. I wrote all the lines, including my own lines. I have to suffer my own creation until the end. I wrote some epic romances but I also wrote their demise. I wish in another reality I'll instead expand on these romances and make them really sweet for a long time hopefully. People are sweet, they are empty canvases even when they are pieces of shit it's not their fault. I wrote them like that. No one to blame but meself. Nobody has free will. How sad. But that also means anything can be done. Otherwise it would all be about respecting people's free will but they have none, so that's how crazy things happen. How attraction is born. Etc. Everyone is just acting according to the script.