mr_engineer

Crying is fine. Showing weakness is not. Talking about something you're really struggling with is not fine, that's showing weakness. Needing her love is fine, that is the point of having a girlfriend. Crying is an emotional release. So, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with crying. If she thinks there is, dump her. Showing weakness, however, is a huge disservice to her, because she entered the relationship thinking you're trustworthy. It will make her feel duped by you, in fact. I'm going to give you my definition of vulnerability. It's to express how you feel to her. 'I feel X'. That's vulnerability. And, crying can be an expression of that. The point of being vulnerable is to give her a role in your quest to create a happy life. If she knows how you feel, she can help you get there. This is something that will be encouraged by any woman who wants a proper relationship.

@Hardkill It was just an example of a common limiting-belief, and how it can impact your dating-life. There could be tons of these. Like 'Love doesn't exist'. Or, 'Sex is bad'. Or, 'Wanting a hot woman is shallow'. Or 'masculinity is bad'. These are examples. I'm not implying that you have any of these. My point is that your childhood-trauma can make you interpret things through the lens of these limiting-beliefs and lead you into problematic scenarios like these. Religion can be a huge source of these limiting-beliefs, by the way. So, if your ideas of God come from religion, you will hold onto the limiting-beliefs, just to not go to hell after you die! That's also possible.

What you're facing with women is a recurring theme from childhood. A similar dynamic must've occurred with your parents/teachers (most likely, mom) for you to have internalized that and then seek out the wrong women. The root-cause of this is that you associate 'love' with the wrong things, what they conditioned you with. Things that aren't authentic to you. This is why a lot of people say that self-love is the foundation. And, in the context of dating, this is what self-love means. Going back in childhood, looking at what happened, fixing those issues, the wrong conditioning. And healing the trauma this must've caused you. Also, this is the root-cause of a lot of your limiting-beliefs in relationships. Like, the belief that 'compromise is king'. Or that 'you have to sacrifice yourself for the other person if you want to prove your love to them'. This stuff will make you resentful, internally. And then it'll get projected onto women. (A lot of incel-types struggle with this, which is why telling them that they have to work on themselves to get women makes them react negatively. Not implying that this is you.) Even though you don't have any overt mental-health issues, I think it would be highly beneficial for you to do inner-child work.

You're getting attracted to the wrong women, then. Do inner-child work and fix your compatibility-issues and try to create the emotional-compatibility that I mentioned above. Girls who are into fitness want validation. That's what drives them. If you can offer that to them, in the right love-language (find compatibility on that front), I think you should be fine. If you can offer them validation, make that the foundation of your game. And develop your game like that.

Wow! That is nice. Go for women who are into fitness. You will be able to get a role in their fitness-journey. And, they'll have this body-type. And if you partner up with them and start some sort of business-venture with them around fitness, that'll give them incentive to support you in your goals. HTH!!

How are you doing on the front of embodying your Life-Purpose? If you have work to do on that front, do it. Cuz once you do it, you'll get access to an abundance of the kind of woman I'm talking about. This will give them an incentive to support you in your goals because it'll be meaningful to them, not because they're incompetent on their own.

Preferably don't go for Stage Blue women. Cuz when they develop themselves, your relationship will face turbulence, in the very least. Go for someone who's at Green and above. I think the answer is in the West itself. There are a lot of post-feminist women there. And I think you can create something better than the patriarchy with them, they don't have too much of that conditioning either.

@Hardkill You won't find this type of girl in a school/college. This is a feminist system, it encourages women to chase their own goals and not give a damn about what others want. Basically, it trains individuals to be narcissistic and this is very bad for women's femininity. They become less womanly when they become narcissistic. (Just like a man becomes less manly when he doesn't take responsibility.) And, being this person takes a bit of a foundation. Look for someone between the ages of 25-30. And look in the New-Age community. They are reclaiming their femininity and if they're wise, they will have revisited their roots, looked at the patriarchy and held onto the good parts of it and figured out how to resource them for building their life. You want to find a meeting of minds on that front with them. This will give you more of a clue as to where to find them. Also, try to create some sort of emotional-compatibility, in which you're meeting an emotional-need for them and in that process, your own emotional-need gets met. For example, if she wants validation/the feeling of being special (this is true for a lot of feminists who feel like their competence isn't recognized by the patriarchy), and if you can give it to them in a compatible love-language, this will make it so they don't need feminism anymore, on an emotional level. Then, you can create your own system with them, without worrying about opposition from them. Women are in trouble in this world, honestly. And, we should recognize this and do what we can to help them overcome their own conditioning and beliefs that 'they have to do it all alone'. This is where the whole 'independence'-mindset comes from. It's not something they genuinely want, it's conditioning. And we should help them overcome it.

A shit-test is not the same as her trying to get to know you to screen for compatibility. It's the exact opposite. Here's what her trying to get to know you to screen for compatibility looks like - her asking you open-ended questions and trying to get to know you. And giving a chance for proper communication. Shit-tests are passive-aggressive behavior that we should run from.

It sounds like V for Vendetta is a prediction for the future. They predicted a virus-outbreak in 2005, before COVID hit in 2020. They posited that it was the governments who did it. They predicted a far-right government. It's very possible to have that kind of ego-backlash to the progressive tyranny like climate-change, COVID-lockdowns. vax-mandates, etc. 'Sutler' analogous to 'Hitler'. His style is also very Hitler-like. Saying that 'whoever leaves their home on revolution-day will be considered a terrorist and made example of'. That's what some authorities did during the COVID-lockdowns. And, of course, some far-left fascists. Banning good music, good food, art, philosophy, etc. Sounds like what the Taliban is doing in Afghanistan. Also, sounds like what the internet-censorship is doing. Keeping the identity of the protagonist abstract. Indicating that it could be anyone. It could be you or me who initiate the revolution. 'If your government was responsible for the virus, would you want to know?' Highlights the blind-spots of investigations where they never point the finger at their own officials. The 'black bags', where once a person is gone, they're gone forever. Analogous to places like Guantanamo bay and classified CIA-documents, except that what happens to someone who goes into the 'black bag' is not reported. 'War, terror and disease' were the reasons they turned to the fascist government. 'Disease' happened in 2020, 'war' is in the process of happening and 'terror' - we all know about that, don't we?! The 'Prothero' character was very, very analogous to Rush Limbaugh. The way the media slants stories and slides in lies is also shown very well. This forum seems to have a pretty big blindspot about that, we really don't like admitting to this reality about the media. For example, their definition of 'hate-speech', really, is 'whatever goes against our narrative'. The fact that nobody believes the media is also shown very well.

There is no difference between shit-tests and low-quality women. It's lacking in femininity and receptivity and openness and all of these healthy feminine qualities. So, here's a shit-test that you can use on them - if they use shit-tests, run from them as fast as you possibly can!

@Rishabh R Forget about girls for a while. Just work on yourself, get successful. Get access to higher-quality people in general first. You need people in your life who have a few brain-cells to rub together. All of the people you mentioned are not worth the time of anyone's day. They're idiots. You want something other than garbage to come out of their mouth when they open it, right?!

His idea of 'high-quality' is in terms of measurements. It's something 'measurable' or 'quantifiable'. 9/10 face, 36/24/36 body-proportions, 5'10 and above height, white skin, blonde hair, a certain size of boobs/ass, etc.

In some ways, it is more conservative. There is zero trust at Red for other people. You're responsible for your own individual safety and that's it. Damn the costs to everyone else. No sense of 'group' or 'community', it's even more conservative than caring about being nice to the people around you, in a certain sense. In some ways, it can be more liberal than Blue. Free indulgence in pleasure, impulsive behavior, being fun-loving, etc. (This is what Stage Blue conservatives are resisting when they're resisting liberals at higher stages.) What's interesting is that in the Spiral-Dynamics book, these qualities that I've associated with the Stage Red liberal, have been described as the 'exaltation' or the best form of Stage Red.

Teal Swan is the woman you should watch. She is an expert on this stuff. Her completion-process is the best when it comes to inner-child work and trauma-work. Which is something you should be doing if you're facing this situation.

If what he's saying is true, the West is not a secular society anymore. Cuz a secular society respects all religions, while reserving the right to be atheist. This is starting to look like atheism is the new religion! Embarking on a holy war against Christianity. What this shows us, is that 'atheist' is not necessarily 'secular'.

What happens when the people who are attached to it protest against it? What happens if that number is greater than some progressive dictator's numbers? Prove to me that there is no God. Or that the world is meaningless. You do need God for it. With God, comes a certain mythology. Your cultural identity is based on that. And, this is very important to keep a cultural cohesion, to develop a sense of togetherness as a people. This is very important for people to be attached to the collective and to feel any sense of responsibility/duty towards their collective. Mythology serves the function of giving simplistic answers to people's profound, metaphysical questions. To people who have the questions but who aren't very thirsty for the answers, who just want to do some armchair-philosophy and move on with their lives. Mythology is core to your self-concept, your idea of who you are, if not a petty human. It gives you something to aspire to when you go about trying to stand for something greater than yourself. It presents these idealistic characters to you who were absolutely selfless and courageous, etc.

An attack on Christianity is an attack on the collective of Christians. Because being a 'Christian' is their psychological identity. This is not a criticism in a debate-setting, where they're listening to you with an open mind. This is a desecration of their holy-book we're talking about. I don't know about there but if someone did that here, riots would happen between different religions.

That's a fair argument. And, when you say you're not trying to be offensive, I believe you. Having said that, what do you think about this behavior of throwing the Bible into the trash-bin? Is that offensive? Here, in India, very much so.

1. Law comes from religion. So, outlawing the problematic parts of religion (Of which there are many, I agree with you there) requires equivocal agreement from the majority. 2. When it comes to the parts that aren't that problematic, why do you want to outlaw that? 3. Do keep in mind that religion is responsible for the concept of 'God'. Religion is the reason we can have any discussion of God at all. The same goes for any discussion of 'meaning' or 'Life-Purpose'. The whole idea of a Life-Purpose is that it's God-given, it's a pre-birth intention, something that's beyond yourself, beyond your petty human identity. For that, you'd have to entertain the idea of reincarnation. Also only possible thanks to religion. 4. You don't get past Stage Red without religion. There comes a point in Stage Red where you need someone to come up with the concept of a 'supernatural entity' that's above all humans and that hands down a set of commandments, saying that 'rape and pillage is wrong, you will go to hell after you die if you do it'. Ultimately, all morality is human. But, you need people to attribute a governing morality to an authority-figure/entity that is not human, that is above all humans, so that you can justify forcing all humans to follow it. This is why the idea of 'God' the way it's portrayed in religion. (At Red, every human is their own God. But, because they're not perfect, they abuse their power in any system they enter, cuz they're acting out of ego. And they form their morality on the fly to justify it. But, at Blue, you have to build the discipline to prioritize your morality/values over your ego, because 'the morality came from God, not yourself'. Accountability becomes possible only at Blue, it even has any meaning only at Blue, cuz shame becomes a thing at Blue, and integrity becomes important and 'virtuous' at Blue for this reason. At Red, integrity is not virtuous. Whatever serves your own self-interest is virtuous!) My point is that there are a lot of very important functions that religion serves in society. And there are very important, pragmatic reasons people hold onto it. Don't be naive about it.

'Religion', the way I use it, means, any and all beliefs about God, belief in God, etc. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with religion. And secularism is supposed to respect people's right to believe what they want/practice what they want. (as long as they don't infringe upon someone else's rights) It's the limited way in which mere mortals interpret God's teachings and implement them in society that's the real issue. You can feel free to criticize religion. But, my request is to not disrespect it by throwing holy books on the ground/in the trash-bin. That's very offensive. It makes a statement saying 'I hate your religion'. Essentially, it's hate-speech towards their God. Or, towards God itself, as the case may be. If you don't want the books, return them/donate them to a church.

Get married only if you want kids. There is no other point to getting married.

@StarStruck Position yourself for higher-quality women. Raise your standards. What she did, was a mediocre move. Ignoring texts, that kind of crap. What you're doing right now, is you're putting up with this mediocrity on your dates. Stop doing that! Let's say this girl becomes your girlfriend. And, you gotta go out of town for a couple of weeks. What will she do? Will she look at your texts? Will she reply? Will she stay in touch? Or will she cheat? You should not be having these kinds of questions in your mind about women you date. When I say 'mediocrity', I mean, in terms of communication-skills. Try to teach her good communication-skills, maybe by role-modelling it or something. Cuz she has work to do on that front, for sure.

Lol. I don't even know what people like about those dance-videos, to be honest. Other than that they're under 60 seconds. A 15-minute video will get less traction than 15 1-minute videos. Doesn't this go against the whole concept of holism, where the 15-minute video is greater than the sum of its parts?! How long do you think this is going to last?

No.