mr_engineer

The point of doing this is to elaborate more on how the positive can be embodied, and in contrast, what the lack of embodying the positive looks like. I could make it a trite little list of 'a good woman is supportive, has good boundaries, blah blah blah' but we all know that, we've all seen it everywhere. And yet here we are, still having this discussion. So, I have to preface it by talking about why we're having it.

@Myioko Let's stay on topic here, if you don't mind. If you want to talk about men, here's your thread.

Someone who has brains, who can communicate properly. Women can talk a lot of nonsense at times. If you're smart and what you're saying makes sense, that's useful and it'll earn you respect. Someone who has a fundamentally positive mindset, who is solution-oriented. A problem-oriented woman is a drag on your shoulders. Solution-orientedness, however, can actually be empowering for the woman within the relationship! If you have a compatible team-dynamic. Someone who you can be vulnerable with. If you can't be vulnerable with her, I don't see a reason to seriously commit to her. If you want kids, someone you can't be vulnerable with, probably won't be a good mother anyways. It's very important that you have a woman who won't beat your kid when they cry. (Literally or metaphorically) Someone who has a clear-cut role for you in her life. In the patriarchy, men did this work for women cuz women weren't that empowered. Now that women have empowerment, as they say, with great power, comes great responsibility. Take the reins of figuring out which person belongs where in your life, especially men. Cuz men are very purpose-driven. And receptivity is a core feature of femininity. (If you don't do this, you will attract tyrannical men who tell you where to go, where to not go, whom to be with, whom to not be with, etc. So, I strongly urge women to take this responsibility.) Someone who understands the importance of interdependence. It is a core facet of female well-being. Women have to depend on others, especially men, to do things for them. 'Independence' is a myth. For everyone. Especially women and children. Someone who has clear-cut sexual-boundaries. If you don't do that, you will inadvertently use sex as a manipulation-tactic. And you'll do the mixed-signals thing. This is a problem with women who don't have clear sexual boundaries. An analogous problem is men who use money/power as a manipulation-tactic, the MeToo situation. Someone who has a concrete, rationally formed vision for how they want society to look. Women, understandably, have a lot of problems with how society works. But, very few of them have solutions. (I have a ton of respect for the ones who do, by the way.) This is the point about problem-orientedness vs solution-orientedness, but on a grand scale. This really overwhelms men, collectively. Not because we can't create that society, because we can't read your mind about how you'd rather have things be. (This one is my bias) Someone who is supportive. If you want to be a rebel, masculine men are going to want to turn away from that. They tend to be very efficient and they tend to not have time for it. They tend to want supportive women. Feel free to add to this list!

Dude, my uncle said it's real. These people have incentives to push a political agenda. I'm not denying that this is a problem in the US. My point is that free healthcare isn't going to fix this. I live in India. And here, if you live in a city, such long wait-times are unheard of. There are enough cardiologists, neurologists, gynaecologists, nephrologists here to cater to a huge population. Because the college here is cheap. I'm telling you, that's the solution. The government-facilities are absolute trash. (Not projecting that onto US or Canada) But, if you pay, you get the good stuff on time. No, you don't. If you did, the prices wouldn't be so over-inflated. The quality is very good, but the quantity isn't enough.

@Hardkill I don't know about the West but here, in India, time-efficiency is everything because of the population. You avoid wait-times like the plague here! Cuz the queues are insanely long. I have an uncle in Canada and when he said that 'I have to wait 6 weeks to get a doctor's appointment' or 'I have to wait 2 months to get bloodwork done', that painted a really ugly picture for me. It's unheard of here or even in the US. In the second video, he said 'doctors make decisions based on their best judgement'. Right, but logistic decisions aren't made by a doctor. They're made by the government! 'People aren't dying in wait-lines. The wait-lines are only for those who are moderately sick! You have to wait until you get more serious. Then, we'll take you seriously!' And, money is a factor that you control. You control how much you make, you choose your socio-economic class in life. You choose the health-decisions too. And, I think that people should have the freedom to take preventative measures, get their check-ups on time, rather than having things escalate and needing cure-measures for the system to take you more seriously. I can totally picture an athletically built Canadian saying 'Why do I have to wait 2 months for my bloodwork, because some obese, broke person didn't take care of their health?! Why are resources that I have the means to pay for and that I value a lot, getting redistributed to the weaker people of my society?!' Because you need a lot more resources to have both. If you're struggling with an inflation of prices in the US or wait-times in Canada, the solution is to pick one of the two systems that's more productive/resourceful in the long-term.

Do you see Canada's healthcare system as a success or a failure? I think progressives and conservatives don't agree on the answer to this question. But, if you want to know the systemically sound way to get free healthcare, here's how it goes - you cheapen college and you incentivize more students to go into medicine. This will create a bubble in the job-market for doctors, it won't be as lucrative anymore. (Similar to the tech-bubble) Then, you create a free healthcare system on a grand scale, where you make it accessible to all and you run it efficiently. Give doctors a better paycheck than what capitalism gives them and set up more facilities for people to access.

Here's how the conservative argument will go. They will point to UK and Canada, at the lines and wait-times for a doctor's appointment. And they'll say 'they have 'free health-care. Yet, it's not readily available when we need it. Why shouldn't I be able to get immediate health-care if I have the means to pay for it, if I have an insurance?! Poor people are lazy anyways, so let them wait in the lines! Let me get access.' Here's my systems-thinking on this - as long as there is a scarcity of resources, doctors, hospitals, there will be competition for it. This is the point of capitalism, essentially - to determine who wins and who loses. Now, what is the solution to the problem of scarcity?! More capitalism! More productivity. More building of medical facilities. Hold your politicians accountable for these premature political agendas. If they're leftists, they will say anything to get the support of far-left extremists like communists. They will not want to piss off extremists who benefit them. Nothing, absolutely nothing is free in this world. Be mindful of the true price of what you're asking for. Healthcare services are so essential that any change in them will occur only if the industry itself initiates it. Through development of new technology and better systems. You can't threaten this industry with bans. You can't say 'Make this change, or else, we ban you for a year'. There have to be people in the industry with a conscience, who initiate positive change in it.

If you want to form a utopian world, form an Osho-style commune, gather in a circle and sing Kumbaya. Perfectly fine. Don't needlessly fight people who are not on your level. And, if you want to stop their injustices, outcompete them in a fair competition. Don't engage in moral condemnation, because it will get deflected onto you, one way or another. Don't let corrupt politicians divide and rule you. Lying is the job-description of a politician anyways. So, don't get swayed by them.

Through more Spiral Wizardry. Here's what my assessment says - people who are stuck at Orange are either materially deprived, or they are psychologically stuck in the rat-race. If you're materially deprived, you just have to grow through Orange. There are no shortcuts. No amount of progressivism is going to fix that. And, if you're psychologically stuck in the rat-race, you have to become more spiritual. You have to work on your mental and emotional health. And get help in doing so. Again, nothing to do with politics or 'progressivism'. Today's progressivism, or identity-politics, is grievance-politics, for the most part. It has nothing to do with 'helping society go up the Spiral', fundamentally. It's a projection of their own agenda for themselves onto the rest of society. Therefore, it's not above the corruptions that it says that 'others' have. It's very tribalistic, in fact. Day 1, lesson 1 of Spiral-Wizardry is to see through this game of fear and shame and to transcend it. And, if you're a progressive and you want change, be the change you want to see in the world.

https://completionprocess.com/view-practitioners/ If you take spirituality too seriously, a mainstream therapist is going to diagnose you with something and medicate you to 'bring you back to physical reality'. Completion-process practitioners are way better. They're actually trained in inner-child work.

Someone who doesn't let his emotions dictate his actions, who isn't emotionally reactive. Someone who is able to take a step back, be present and apply his reason and logic and use his judgement in a tough situation. Including emergencies.

@Antor8188 A similar thing happened with me. I got 10 rejections and then, a fat girl signalled to me that she wanted to talk. Her friend-group had open body-language, which I could tell by the orientation of their feet. What this essentially showed me is that the previous 10 rejections weren't personal. Because none of these girls knew a single thing about me. And yet, purely at random, some were down to talk and some weren't. Don't compare yourself to your friends. You have different lives. And, sometimes, when you're walking down the street and you pass by a couple, try to listen to what they're talking about. 99% of the time, it's trash! Sometimes, I'm envying the guy from afar and then when I get closer and hear what they're talking about, I stop envying him. My point is that they have lower standards, so they settle for stuff you won't settle for.

@NoSelfSelf I think OP is talking about porn more like a widespread systemic social issue than an individual issue. Individuals, of course, can be responsible with it. But, the reality is that most people aren't. More like a fat person demonizing junk food. Yes, they're still responsible for their indiscriminate consumption of it. But, there is reason to demonize junk food in and of itself. And, I think, same with porn.

Talk about something other than your dating-lives, go to the gym together, play sports together, etc. Don't involve each other in your dating-lives.

Was she worth it? Did you get something long-term with her after letting go of something long-term with your friend? If not, bros before hoes.

Probably porn.

Primary 1.8, secondary 1.4

7

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2009/sep/02/pfizer-drugs-us-criminal-fine Well, these people paid the largest criminal fine in US history. So, I would not put this past them. It's a very real possibility.

@Vlad_ How much do you care about her experience? From what I've seen, if you're having sex for the pleasure, if the pleasure is the only thing motivating you to have it, it will not fulfil you. Simply because pleasure is not happiness. Pat yourself on the back for seeing this, first and foremost. Then, stop chasing sex for a while. These are the symptoms of a sex-addiction. Heal it like you would heal any other addiction - by working on the trauma you're using the addiction to run away from. Keep doing this, until you discover yourself deeper in a sexual context. Specifically, who you are as a giver of sexual pleasure. Then, seek out a compatible partner and commit to her.

I never suggested that you make it 'anything goes'. I was disagreeing with the criteria for moderation. And that if you have these criteria behind a paywall and if you keep the free space lax, where you get to let loose a little bit, it will be more efficient for everyone. For sure, feel free to ban trolls. And people making personal attacks and behaving disrespectfully. But, banning debaters as 'immature people', it's a bit much for a free space. You can justify it better where people are paying to be there, that you respect their money. You can do what you want, man. This is me doing some systems-thinking here. I know you're not going to change anything for me. I was just intending to see how far you've thought this through. Yeah, but games are for children. And for entertainment. This is a self-help service. And people sign up only if they need it.

University costs money. This forum is free. I thought you knew what you were signing up for when you run a free forum. You put the forum behind a paywall, most non-serious people will go away. I guarantee that. Heck, one of my solutions is to actually do that! To create a private patreon or something behind a paywall in which you give exclusive services and force people to have more skin in the game. This forum is the level of your business-funnel that is free. You can feel free to shill your patreon here if you want! And invest more into that level of the funnel.

If you're going to teach about God, try to compete against religion. Don't hide from the religious nutcases. Or else, you will lose the holy war. This is one of the huge appeals of spirituality in a self-help context. These are people who have been burned by religion and atheism and they're looking for an answer to their suffering outside of religion and atheism. So, whether you like it or not, you're competing against religion. A big part of that is to not repeat their mistakes. And another part of that is to be willing to get your hands dirty when it comes to debating religious people (or other ideologues). If you're teaching philosophy, ideology is your bread and butter, whether you like it or not.

This is a very slippery slope to being labelled a cult by the mainstream. I understand your desire to appeal to serious self-actualizers, but that's not most of the world. Having a 'cult-audience', as marketers like to call it, while talking about God, is going to attract controversy. I don't know whether this is going to be good for your impact on the wider world. Especially this 'hard to teach' thing - someone reading this post for the first time is going to be like 'another ideological echo-chamber of spirituality'. You may call that a projection, which may even be true. But, when it comes to your impact on the world, image is very important. Precisely because most of the world is hard to teach! And, it's not even fully their fault. They look at you and whether you're walking your talk first. That's how they form your image. This is just what it takes to teach new things to people who fancy themselves as 'advanced self-actualizers'. One of the rare things that Leo has to offer is that he's not ideological himself and he's able to be authentic on camera. This is his image. My suggestion is to not change this on an image-level. Cuz once you do that, as someone who teaches spirituality, things can go south. You can moderate for intellectual honesty and solve these problems.

Dude, but it's the immature people who need your help the most! A mature self-actualizer can just sit in a room, contemplate and do their own thing. It sounds like you're trying to use brute-force to exterminate all ego from your community. While I understand the motivation and your frustration with egotistical people, I don't know how realistic this goal is. Also, it kinda sounds like you're moving away from Spiral-Wizardry, in an attempt to raise the level of the forum to Tier-2. Cuz from what I remember you saying in the Spiral-Dynamics video, Tier-2 is about mastering every stage of the spiral, not running to the highest stage. Also, it sounds like you're wanting to make this community about yourself, like 'this is the kind of community I want for myself'. You're wanting to personalize this to yourself. Isn't this egotism on your part? Isn't this moving away from your Life-Purpose, or impacting people who actually need your work? If you truly want a community for yourself, I'd suggest going out on your own time and forming it in real life. And, spending lesser time here. And, putting your mods in charge of helping out people in need. If you want a core community of self-actualizers, your mods are good for that. And, you can keep this forum as a part of your Life-Purpose work, or your brand as actualized.org. Because it also looks like you're wanting to mix your personal and professional life here and making the community about your own personal needs. You may have personal needs, which is fine, so you can form another community for yourself that we don't have to know about. Where the stakes are higher. Where people actually have more skin in the game, than random people online.