mr_engineer

These are not just 'injustices'. These are collective patterns that have to be changed, or else they will repeat. And, the first step to do that is to call out those who are responsible, to 'put the blame where it belongs', so to speak. Mr. 'man up bro', normalizing struggles is the opposite of doing something about them. It's called 'holding the other group accountable for their part in it'. This is a limiting-belief. You haven't tried it yet. Also, imagine preaching this to women who have gone through sexual assault. This is not about 'blaming'. This is about facing the reality of toxic femininity and dealing with it. I'm on your side here, giving you a way to deal with it. You're the one enabling toxic behavior here. You're just being a simp. If you show lonely people some kindness, that's very helpful. It is not a material problem that you have to 'work hard' to solve. You need other people to co-operate in the process of solving it and you have to call out their shit too. Being fat is purely an individual health problem. But, being lonely is a relationship-problem. And other people have to be better so that you don't suffer like this. It's perfectly valid to call out toxic invalidation like this.

No, this is not 'life'. This is a collective problem that needs a collective solution. And I'm not 'crying about it'. I'm proposing a solution and seeing how people respond. It's called market-research. I want to see what the esteemed forum-members have to say about this. I knew I would get flak, I just wanted to see whether it'd be rational or not. Most people here who talk about 'manning up' are engaging in benevolent emasculation. It's really interesting how you don't see how what I'm doing is the definition of 'manning up' and facing a problem. Maybe it's cuz yall don't want to face the root-causes of the problem?! Please learn what 'man up' actually means, in practice. I don't know what you think it means, but it's wrong. Cuz you're saying it to someone who is doing just that. You're just throwing around the term willy-nilly.

I was falsely accused by a girl in high-school. I had to plead guilty to minimize consequences. That should not have happened. In real life, women avoid men in public settings. HR-departments are egregiously anti-male. They are always looking for scapegoats, it's their job. The MeToo situation didn't help. If a woman points a finger at you, you're guilty until proven innocent. Look man, just say that you want to deflect everything on the man. It's fine, you're not abnormally dysfunctional when you do that.

'You should change yourself'. That's complaining. That implies that 'something is wrong with you. I don't even know what, but there is something wrong with you'. This is scapegoating. No, tell me. What is wrong with me?! What should I change about myself?! And why should I do it?! Sell that to me, please. I'm sick and tired of this scapegoating nonsense. How dare you do this.

Maybe learn to not create semantic problems before you give advice on loneliness.

That is not what 'simp' means. A simp means someone who parades around like a 'real man' to get women's approval rather than being in reality and talking about real problems. If only you applied your own advice...

Step 1 - when a man gets in your way when you fight toxic femininity, check for whether he's a simp. Because the only men who will get in your way are simps. So, stop putting up with simps in your men's social-circle. Then you'll get supportive men who will have strong character, who will actually have a constructive vision and who won't just preach to you that 'it's all your fault' and 'you're focusing on things that don't really matter'. Step 2 - Identify the type of woman who benefits from simps and avoid them. These women typically objectify themselves. Have no tolerance for this behavior in women. For this, first, you have to stop objectifying women yourself and you have to figure out how to make a sexually compatible relationship work with them. You do this, the women in your dating-pool will have zero tolerance for simps. Step 3 - Lead the women in your life to their authentic feminine expression. A lot of times, when women are truly feminine, they have Life-Purposes that center around solving these types of problems in the world. I have met such women and they care a lot more than immediate family. If your immediate family had solutions, you wouldn't be facing these issues to begin with. You grew up with these issues and you want someone who has mental-health wisdom to help you out with this. It's not as uphill as you think. These women often-times have an 'independence'-based relating-style. Which cannot possibly work long-term. It's not sustainable. The man is a simp in these situations and she's using him, for the most part. Men become simps because modern women have no role in their personal lives for men. This is a relationship-failure for women, even moreso than men. The average woman can't just sit around and do nothing about this, they have to become aware themselves and they have to figure out where men fit into their lives. No individual can solve this problem alone, everyone has to do something about it.

I have coined a term for this type of response. It's called 'benevolent emasculation'. That's what you're doing here. 'MaN uP BrO, aLl oF yOuR ProBleMs aRe ImAgInArY BrO'

This is bullshit. Maybe if they didn't avoid good men and actually talked to them, they'd be safer. Either someone is a threat, or they're not. What the fuck is 'potential threat'?! Use your brain-cells to evaluate whether someone is a threat or not, you idiot! (That's how I think when a woman needlessly avoids me) It's just my life-experience. And I don't go around saying that they deserve to be sexually assaulted, or that they deserve what's done to them. The first step to making it happen is to recognize that it's toxic femininity and to take a stand against it. Then, the next step is to figure out how to catch someone in the act of it and how to punish it. This will make the bullshitters avoid you and the ones who want to self-reflect and improve themselves stick around. You have to do this if you respect yourself and if you want to be respected in relationship. You have to do this ruthlessly. No mercy for women who scapegoat you and play victim-control dramas, even as a joke. They have to run from you. It's way better than them sticking around and actively ruining your mental-health. Let's deal with this first.

@Consept What you do about this is you get rid of the people enabling the situation, you discredit them so that they shut up about 'how it's all men's fault' and 'how toxic men are' and 'blah blah blah'. You moderate them online for man-hate. You boycott them in real life. You make them feel consequences for propagating dangerous ideologies. We have to protect ourselves when these people gaslight and scapegoat us. It has to be clear that what they're doing is wrong and they have to face consequences for it. So, call it 'toxic femininity' and take action against it.

It's not 'a few women'. The average woman avoids men on the streets. You have to search long and hard for a woman who actually has some compassion. If you got rid of the women who are pro-male-loneliness, men would feel emotionally safer to put themselves out there. Rejection would be a lot less hurtful and everything would work smoothly. We have to see who the real enemies are and we have to stop putting up with their shit. They are very comparable. Yes, the 'few' (it's not a few, actually, it's way too many to ignore) women saying that men deserve to be lonely are, in fact, the root-cause of male loneliness!! If we get rid of these people, then we have no problem.

'Hunting down rapists might feel like you are doing something worthwhile to solve the problem of rape, but ultimately won't do anything to solve women's safety because these men are likely unrelated to the root-cause of women's safety-issues'.

You need experience. I can tell just by observing her body-language/social-confidence whether she's smart or not and whether she's a pleaser or not. If she has a stick up her ass, if she's not relaxed, she's a pleaser.

Just say that you don't give a shit. It's fine. There's nothing exceptionally bad about that, most of the world doesn't give a shit.

You can't have 'agree to disagree' and be solipsistic at the same time. Because, sooner or later, the disagreement between the two parts of your mind will escalate and blow up in your face. Disagreement on something this important is a serious problem and must be tackled. It's like saying 'I think that it's okay to starve your children if they behave badly' and you say 'No! That's barbaric as hell' and I say 'We can respectfully agree to disagree, don't personally attack my opinion and call it barbaric'. No, I don't know what it's like for women to feel lonely. That's why I LISTEN. What I've heard women associate 'loneliness' with, is a lack of protection/containment. The way a woman feels connected to a man is when he does good things for her. No, it's not. It is a symptom of emotional-neglect/emotional-starvation. When you say that 'it just arises', this contradicts your spiel about cause and effect. And, for your kind information, I am not 'blaming the world for it', I have solved this problem for myself. The first step to solving it is to face it and see it as valid. The second step is to figure out which people are compatible with you and how to make things work with them, to practically validate your ideas. And the third step is to call bullshit on everyone who invalidates it. Bullshit. Humans have emotional-needs from other humans. You don't get to sit there on your high-horse and tell me that I don't need other humans to love me. This is ridiculous. It's cruelty, in fact. Maybe you are well-intentioned, but you are genuinely deluded about loneliness and how it works. It's not just a 'feeling-state'. Please do your research before preaching solutions.

@Princess Arabia The fact that you're calling this a word-game, proves that you have no idea of what you're talking about. Loneliness is a visceral experience. When you go out and get rejected by women, it viscerally feels like your life is in danger. You don't 'know' what it's like. And by 'know', I mean, in terms of experience. You don't know what it's like to have women avoid you everywhere and then, when you talk about your loneliness, to totally invalidate it. You have zero ideas about what it's like. If you actually give a shit, I'd suggest that you just open your mind to the possibility that you don't know what men's loneliness is.

@Princess Arabia Okay, fine, let's talk about your spiritual ideology. Given everything you've said, here's my question for you - then why doesn't your 'reality' account for mine? If it is One, if you really can perceive the 'Oneness', you should be able to perceive it, right?! In my experience, the only way to realize true solipsism is by integrating everyone's mind into your mind and becoming that multi-perspectival. And using intuitive guidance to do that. I don't know about you but if I start assuming that the outside world reflects my mind before I do that, the potential consequences of that to myself and to others are beyond dangerous. Some serious zen-devilry could come out of that.

I would also not mean it like that. I would be like 'just take this pill that the doctor gave you and stop boring me with your period-pain complaints, you're making this a bigger deal than it is'. I would be very well-intentioned. It would still be obnoxious behavior, objecitvely, right?! Women have no frickin idea how lonely it really is to be a man. First of all, you gotta start admitting this. For example, I don't claim to know what period-pain feels like or what it's like for a woman to walk out alone at night. Same deal.

Imagine you have period-pain, you talk about it and I, as a man, tell you 'you are imagining this pain, you are creating this pain in your mind'. What would you call me? A spiritual-bypasser, right?! You would think that my behavior is really obnoxious, and rightly so.

I have prescribed a solution for people who invalidate men's loneliness. And, I gave a live demo in this thread for yall to refer to. This is how you deal with it.

The topic at hand is men's loneliness. Men know what it's like, women don't. So, you might as well pay attention, if you care. If you don't care, your lectures count for shit.

Don't condescend. I am speaking from my life-experience as a man. All of that goes into how I interpret stuff. If you have no idea what it's like to be a man, rather than lecturing me about the 'Absolute Truth' and 'how your mind creates meaning', you might as well just listen.

Spoken like a true spiritual bypasser.

'You are creating these people on an unconscious level' is spiritual bypassing of the reality shown in the video I shared in the OP. When I told you to not change the topic, I was being nice to you.

Let's stay on topic, please. Don't change the topic into one in which you get to deflect everything on the man.