mr_engineer

Having an ulterior motive is a very normal and common thing. You smile at others to get them to smile back at you, you ask them how they're doing to get them to ask you how you're doing. But, we don't use the word 'creepy' in those cases, oh no! It's only when you break a social-norm. That's 'creepy'. Women trust a lot of men they shouldn't trust and they never get a 'creepy vibe' from those guys. It's only the so-called 'uncalibrated guys' or men who just trigger something in them, who 'give off a creepy vibe'. There's something about you that they don't personally like, basically. There is a solution to this problem. You develop a protocol for dealing with strange women you're drinking with. You pay attention to your drink, you carry it with you everywhere. Just like, the solution to the problem of an 'uncalibrated guy' is to try to figure out what he wants and to use your words to communicate properly with him. Your feelings can give you the wrong message, actually. You will get a biased interpretation of some person or situation based on your own personal likes and dislikes/your personal conditioning. You have to rely on actual facts, actual data about the other person. And, you have to protect your drink and not leave it around.

Which part is the assumption? The part where she'd make something up, or the part where they'd blindly act based on 'believe all women'?

Let's say you wanted to get with Scarlett Johanssen (or a Victoria's Secret model). You think there would be no competition?

There are emotional-needs at play. Again, very different conversation from the one about happiness. There wouldn't be tons of pick-up theory micromanaging your behavior if everyone were doing it or believed that it worked.

No, I'll be left with the truth. You can question the truth all you want, it'll still stay the truth. Only the lies fall away by questioning!

@theleelajoker This thread is about being ready for a relationship, not about happiness. As true as this is in theory, applying this in practice is very complicated. Everyone would be doing this if it were simple and straightforward. In practice, you have to 'be yourself' in a way that's constructive, in order to make something work. And, how do you know whether you're doing the right things, whether what you're doing or planning to do is constructive? That's what I'm trying to answer here.

It's called co-creation, not babysitting! You can't solve loneliness alone. Humans have a need to be around each other and spend time with each other. It's not a huge ask, it can be done. Bingo.

That's the biggest motivation for people to go to therapy, by the way. We have to co-operate with each other when it comes to meeting each other's emotional-needs.

Loneliness has less to do with sex and more to do with emotional-needs not being met by others in your life. You can change that, but others also have to co-operate.

Yeah, but if you pointed a finger at me and yelled 'CREEP!!' at me in a public setting, that would have consequences. And those consequences would have less to do with my behavior and more to do with your narcissism and malice.

More appropriately, they kill themselves cuz they're lonely. And the reason for that is that other people are narcissistic. Every individual is responsible for their own life and can change it, of course. But, if we're looking at collective issues, you have to look at macro-patterns to change those.

'Creepy' is just a swear-word. It doesn't have any real consequences. But, narcissism has actual negative consequences for society. Even religion couldn't weed them out of the gene-pool.

All of this is BS. It's not 'good feedback', it's not even intellectually honest. It's just a swear-word. If this were the case, religion would teach men how to not be creepy. It would be a sin, in religious terms. But, it's not. It's a really recent gossip-term that has no meaning.

Men kill themselves over this shit. Just admit that you're a narcissist and you don't give a shit, and you're being hypocritical when you accuse others of not having empathy. It's fine, it doesn't make you abnormally dysfunctional, just normally dysfunctional.

I'll tell you. Depending on the country, either he'd be beheaded, or thrashed to death by the mob of simps. If he escapes in single piece, his employer will get to know about the police case (because some simp will call the police on him) and his career ruined for good. Possible jail-time and possible court-time. Yeah.

Let's say, she made something up. 'He touched my ass' or something. What would happen? 'Believe all women', right?!

@Princess Arabia Let's consider the thought experiment that I posed in my last comment. What do you think would happen to the man in question?

Let's do a thought experiment. Take a woman you know to a public setting, have her stand beside a man, then, in 2 minutes, have her point a finger at him and yell 'CREEP!!' Watch what happens.

Doesn't apply to what I'm saying. A better analogy is 'I finally deciphered the idea of 'shit''.

I'm not worried about getting laid. The debate is important, though, cuz it makes more people see the truth. It raises our level of consciousness, collectively. At what point do we stop thinking with our dicks and take a stand for what's right? At what point, do we stop being simps and stop selling out to dysfunctional, manipulative women?! Do you want a woman who loves you or fears you? (Love is the opposite of fear. Love is 'pulling the other closer', fear is 'pushing the other away'.) And why do we enable women's fearful behavior, instead of reassuring them that there's nothing to be scared of?

You have the right to feel like punching someone in the face. But, do you have the right to act on that impulse and actually punch someone? I don't think so. But, the issue here isn't that they have the right to feel 'creeped out'. The issue here is that women react to this feeling by involving authorities and that the simps in the position of authority take the opportunity to take down a guy hitting on her and they 'take action' against you as a result. They abuse their power because the 'damsel in distress' involved them. First of all, it is a right. In fact, if you want to get laid, you have to approach. Then why do the simps in power take action against you if a woman calls you 'creepy'? It's called 'educating women about the rights they do have vs the rights they don't have'. And for good reason, it's not that now you get to turn feminist and you get to give women the license to throw every guy in jail. The court of law is chock-full of simps who rule in favor of women in divorce-situations. The difference is that slut-shaming is seen as a reality, but creep-shaming is not seen as a reality. You, who are giving me this lecture about 'how society works' and 'you should conform to society' - what are you doing to make society better? If the answer is 'nothing', you're just talking like a conservative fart who is defending dysfunctional norms. My vote goes to putting an end to dysfunctionality. What logical fallacies?

Buddy, I'm not saying that others shouldn't swear. I'm clarifying which words actually mean something and which words are just swear-words that mean nothing.

No, that's not the reason I posted it. The reason I posted it, is that I thought that it's something really serious, that 'maybe it is something that I'm doing wrong'. Then, when I really looked into it, it turned out to just be a swear-word! Do you take it seriously when someone swears at you? I don't. This is the point of disagreement. That everyone believes that it actually means something, when it doesn't.

Are you telling me, that being a lead in a Latin dance should take no prep on your side? All of the problems you listed are a result of lack of prep. You do the prep, you do the homework, you're set.

That's not the issue at hand here. The issue at hand is - how do you find a woman who can communicate properly? This word of 'creepy' is too common of a term to use and they throw it around willy-nilly. And, when you look into it, it's nothing, it's just a swear-word.