Fred Fulton

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About Fred Fulton

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  • Birthday November 4

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  1. I’m still way early in this exploration but gradually find things that are initially terrifying and then hopefully calm down. Just realized that every thought (including this) is a conversation with someone else. Not sure if that is just problem solving or defending my identity - probably both. I find that a bit disturbing as it feels like my core internal software isn’t what I thought it was or how I want it to be. But it’s so core I somewhat fear ‘myself’. Anyway, old news for you guys but as is my way - trying to solve/understand by talking to you. Much love
  2. Hi Just about to do a triathlon for the first time and spent a sleepless last night trying to understand what I am fearful of. Realized it’s not that I am fearful of disappearing but I am that fear. That is me - that is I. Dont know what to do next. Caught between needing to build myself up to survive and needing to entirely let go of myself. It’s exhausting me. love to you all and thanks for your wisdom. Paul
  3. Not sure if this is a basic need where it stands in this diagram or part of self actualisation to move beyond the need. Trying to understand if it’s something that can be moved beyond in some way
  4. Sure is - sorry for the delay and kind of you to reply. I am just trying to work out what I need to belong to - wife, friends, etc or be comfortable with just myself or understand reality, consciousness etc - feel like it needs to be the latter but not even really started yet
  5. Just come out of a beautiful and intense 5 day retreat at Plum Village in France. Traced not some but every single one of my thoughts now and maybe for years behind me to a need to belong. Slightly terrifying. Is this what draws all minds away from the present, is that what all language and everything we have created is? Is it why we write every emoji? Now should start to explore what else is there. Thanks 🙏
  6. Hi Living in Norway, considering to move on from meditation. Anyone locally with some experience to share? Thanks!
  7. That’s true - thanks
  8. Thanks both, really appreciated. We had some counseling while this was going on so that’s been undermined a bit. I have tried a few different counselors- they help, I feel better, relax and then get scared again. I forgive the past with peace, the problem is the fear of it recurring in the present. But it feels right when you mention it - feels like it softens the resistance. I know I can only find peace if I can come at this with love, just bloody difficult! thsnks again!
  9. Leo Is that not exactly the point - a shift from relative to absolute? We are scared individuals who consume or wage war to defend our identity. A loosening of that identity and a shift towards unity would solve these problems. I probably totally misunderstood as a newbie but is that not the basic reason for your Work? Fred p.s. Even if that is not the reason, your site is amazing and a reflection of your staggeringly brave work
  10. Hi i know you all have more to deal with than this but massively appreciate your thoughts. My wife had something like an emotional affair with a colleague for a year or so. Maybe something physical occurred maybe some sexting. I picked up on it early, worried about it most of that time and my wife lied to me a lot about their connection and when they would meet up. Eventually it came out one night. That was 3 years ago. I now just live terrified that what we have (which is pretty perfect life with wonderful kids and a wife who is actually great in many ways) is just a lie and one day I will find out that this other relationship continues and our relationship is false. So I have tried meditation and learnt a ton of stuff. I see that this is a fear in me not of my wife - a fear of not being good enough, separation and death. I know logically the fear is a lie. I could separate and know I would be fine. But I go through and endless cycle of gaining strength, feeling good, relaxing and then being triggered by total fear that this is false. I understand the concepts of impermanence, non judgement, LOVE, openness. I feel I need to strengthen and loosen my identity at the same time. I know this fear is my prison not my protector. But I never break the cycle. I cannot seem to find the steps to walk me out of this. I also cannot discuss this with my wife as it just depresses her if I mention it and hard though it is, this is my fear to deal with. With LOVE Fred
  11. Thanks - then it’s about creating systems for inclusion. That sounds right.
  12. Thanks Johnny - I follow all that you say but never considered food as such a cornerstone. Do we not already have an abundance of food - just poorly distributed?Would that not just lead to more exploitation of the natural world?