Jax

Thank you for listening! There is always some sadness about a beautiful experience, knowing that it will have to die at some point, so there is room for newer and deeper experiences. Wow. Seems like I have actually transmitted a bit of what I experienced into music! Thank you for listening.

Also, this topic can be about introducing enlightening music. Which I believe there are. But they are different than just normal music people listen to, the choice must be very delicate. For now I will say that before Leo, my guide for the path of spirituality that even led me to knowing Leo was the band Tool. Their music contains mind blowing-metaphors about spirituality. Check out their track Schism which is about Division and Unity, or Fear Innoculum which is about fear and how it affects us.

Hey. I just saw the post on Leo's blog about a piece of music called " The Zen Master's Diary ". I'm an experimental musician from for years now, and I've also been doing the spiritual work on my own side and doing the various practices for awakening to the ultimate nature. And I wasn't expecting that the path of spirituality would have an effect on music, but it did. It became a diary of experiences translated into music. And, well Leo said that when you awaken you should hear that song. And I'm not here to critique that, only to share my amazement, that I realized music has so many degrees of grasping and understanding, and so the level of music that Leo called " awakening " music, I wouldn't even normally listen to and like, let alone in such a multi-harmonic experience. Although, every piece of music can have different effects on different individuals. Now, I also wanted to share with you one of the pieces that I created after an awakening. It's called " The Unexpected Peace " and it was a sober experience of love and liberation, and a singing bird started it. Tell me what you think.

Hey. I've been through the journey to capture my mystical experiences in music for a couple of years now. It is a technique that I invented for myself. Creating a piece of art that would make me remember what I experienced. Because these experiences, as you surely know, are slippery beasts. And by now I have a couple of these tracks that are great totems for me. I wanted to share them here, because firstly Leo has always been an important guide for me through each step and it would be an honor if he heard them, and I also wonder if anybody else ( who's on the same journey to Truth and Love ) can feel what I feel about these pieces. So, without further due. Here are two of my tracks created solely on the purpose of painting the Enlightenment experience through music: 1. 2. Let me know what you think.

I agree with you on this. There are no actual rules. And to live like that requires to be conscious. I think I already know my answer. I should go for the Truth anyways, doesn't matter what my life situations are. As much as Leo puts importance on life purpose, I believe that in some cases, it doesn't matter that much. I could be a fisherman and live happily. What my dreams are, I myself have made. If I can get to the material things that I want, great! But if I didn't, It still ain't that big of a deal compared to realization. Thanks. I joined to forum because I think interacting with the people who are at the same path as I am would be a good choice. Because unless we are sages, there are always people around us. Better be the ones we have something good in common

Well, Hello! This journal will be about the insights and the struggles that I get each and every day as I am working on my path to knowing myself. I found out that writing about my troubles will guide me to find the rightest answer. But before that to start.. I want you to know a few things about me, cause I wanna be brutally honest here! My name is Iman, I'm Iranian. 20 years old. I have lived on a very far and small town in Iran for the first 18 years of my life. Life in Iran.. It's limited. It also has a very bad bond with religion ( mostly Islam ) and I've rarely seen anyone who is working on himself or herself even at the capital of Iran, not to mention my small town, Zabol. My difference was that I started self teaching myself English language. And that has led me to the strangest paths that would not have happened without it. The other thing that I'm good at is music. I started playing guitar at the age of 5 and after the age of 17 I took music very seriously. I started making songs (Mostly Instrumental ) and creating my own albums. I used to write short stories too, and that would help me deepen the meaning behind my music. I still work on music and create songs. My first encounter with spiritual concepts was Eckhart Tolle's book Power of Now. And the funny thing is that I found that book just because of some blog that had discussions on a song called Grudge from the band Tool. Skipping the other details.. I found actualized.org searching for a video that would explain to me why if the religions are wrong, they have some similarities that can not be underestimated, and there it was. Leo explaining that the realization of nothing was indeed the reason. I quickly started watching his videos, I didn't even know there was some big conceptual education called self-help until then. I kept watching them and there were some really strange changed that I made quickly afterwards. It was the summer and I had to start studying for College's enterance exam for a period of a year. The funny thing was that I didn't even know what the hell I wanted. I was doing music but telling myself that I wanna be a director while my family were forcing me to become a doctor. With his videos, I started choosing radically what I wanted in life. So I realized college didn't mean a thing for me other than a runaway gate from Zabol, my limited hometown that kept me locked inside my family. So in that year, I did everything that I could to get to Tehran, and eventually I did. I started studying French Literature there and although it wasn't my life purpose to know literature, it doesn't bother me. The purpose was to get out of that silly town, and family. and on the other hand I chose my life purpose when I got to Tehran, It was music. I could play my guitar even when I was sick, with joy. How could it not be that? When I got to Tehran, I knew that I was on my own. I had to make something from music, a good career. And also I had to keep up with the self realization journey. Now these two may not seem that big of a deal, but when you are in this country, there are limits that try to get you down every time. I knew that those limits couldn't be excuses for me to not to work. but they were and are still limits that I should fight against. At my first year in Tehran, I accomplished some things that seemed very amazing. I started my first close relationship with a girl that I knew, and for the first time of my life the problem of having sex was solved. She was great. Too great that I started forgetting the reasons that I went to Tehran in the first place! She was becoming more and more something that I needed, because as time went by in Tehran, my family issues grew and my other friends were getting far from me, so that relationship was all I had and I didn't want to let it go. At the same time, I knew that I shouldn't be needy. And I shouldn't get myself limited with a relationship, because it would prevent me from the massive work and training that I needed to do to improve myself. This was very tough mental fight. But at the end, because I was being very honest with my girlfriend all the time, we realized that it wouldn't help neither of us to be in a serious relationship at this age. So we broke up. I came back to Zabol for the summer. I had big plans for starting my ideas for music and doing more of self improvement. And I did both for some time. I have experienced some small mystical experiences during the two years that I'm following this path. I know that it is what I want. But at the same time the pain of the breakup and getting back to the poison environment of my family got me locked in some anger and depression that comes and goes. I started dating with another girl here, and she is in love with me, but this time I didn't let here so close to me that I would forget myself. I'm keeping her at a distance and she knows it. After my first girlfriend I realized how bullshit love and attachment is. It's all about sex but we tend to give it so much meaning and significance. We change ourselves to stay in a relationship and we forget who we are and what we want. So I'm not doing the same mistake with this other girl, and at the same time I am being honest with her. Throughout all my life I have been afraid. Afraid that I may fail and not get a job. ( because finding a job is very difficult in Iran) Afraid that God might get me to hell for my sins. Or my mom and dad would die and leave me in a deep sadness. I was so afraid that I couldn't let myself risk anything. After going to Tehran, I'm now risking everything. There is a law here that the boys over the age of 18 should do 2 years of military service unless they are studying at university, in which case they will attend the service after their education. There isn't any run from this in my life. And without doing that service I won't be able to get out of Iran. I have three years before I finish my studies at college and then I may have to go and do the military service. At the same time my parents are now supporting me financially and they are getting very old and close to their death. If they die I will lose my support and I will have to get a job for myself to sustain myself. So as you can guess, I should be doing some massive work on making my music business. And I already am starting to work ideas out and do my thing. But in the past few days, I've been realizing some thing that is very odd. I have changed my plans for that thing and I'm not even sure if that is the right thing or not. As I started creating content and share it on the social media for drawing the attention of people, I've realized that how sick is the process of making my music has made me. It really feels like torture for me now. I feel imperfect in my music and the things that I do with it. And it gets so bad sometimes that I can't even hear any music and enjoy. So I felt that my ego is really the thing that I will have to fix before anything else in my life. I realized that my life purpose, as much as I want to make it important, It's utterly meaningless. I shouldn't torture myself in this path. If I want to walk on any path, It should be joyful and not like this. And the only way to make it joyful is to go fully to the path of finding the Truth. I realized that if I find the truth, becoming homeless and going to the military service wouldn't even matter. Cause as long as the inside is getting fix, the outside world would not effect. But the thing is that finding the Truth itself isn't something that you can put a year into it and you suddenly find it. It may take years. And that is what I am questioning. Should I go all the way to find the Truth and realization, or should I have balance and work on my career at the same time? P.S:I will be leaving Zabol and start my second year at University in a week. I wanna make achievable plans for this second year that I will tell you in my upcoming posts.