Vercingetorix

@strangelooper hi there, Your suffering sounds great and respect the way you feel about it. I would like to offer you the following idea: what if you could, through the suffering, find meaning and beauty in life? Wouldn't that be intelligent worthy of GOD? You can read Viktor frankl, Marcus Aurelius to get inspired about finding meaning in the darkest places. wishing you the best bro.

So I went for a walk with the intention of talking to girls that I saw, but I was in a bit of a low state, so I didn't force myself and ultimately decided to just enjoy my walk. But then I walked past a girl who caught my attention, and I noticed she was going through something emotional. I didn't approach her, but slowed my pace and noticed she was walking in my direction. I stopped for a moment and let her pass me, but decided that I should approach her. So I came and said Hi, and she seemed happy to talk to me. I saw she was crying. I started asking her questions about what she's going through, but she was kind of hesitant to really answer, besides saying stuff like "I lost myself, I feel alone". We sat somewhere, and I offered her a hug, which she accepted, but she wasn't answering my questions and I started to feel uncomfortable. After some time, she said she'd better be by herself, and we parted ways. I would have liked to support her better, in a selfless way, although of course I wouldn't mind gaining something from it as well, and wonder how I could have done so? I think I was trying to lead it to a logical place and try to understand instead of just supporting her - hugging her, maybe offering her to go eat ice cream and kinda forget a bit what she's going through? Or maybe being vulnerable myself to show her she can do the same? Boys, how would you approach this? Girls, how would you like to be approached in such a situation?

@Leo Gura Haha yeah. My instinct is to get into my coaching role, but it's not useful in this situation. I could have also mirrored her body language and created rapport.

Do these two concepts contradict? On the one side, for a man to attract a woman, it is said not to be too logical. To be connected with my emotions, do whatever I want, have fun, and be playful. But isn't all of that feminine energy? Supposedly, what creates attraction is polarity - a feminine girl will be attracted to a masculine energy, which is supposedly unresponsive, aloof, relaxed, detached, almost autistic. "Being "above the weeds". These ideas seem to be at odds with each other. How do I reconcile them?

Let's define a superpower as something that you enjoy doing, is easy for you to do, and at which you feel that you're efficient What would be yours? How did you find out what it was? Context: The theory is that by honing your superpower, you can find a way to create value relatively easily and live from it. I struggle to find what my superpower is. Maybe it is listening to people.

@AlienGeometry Cool

@Vali2003 Thanks. I think I get it. @Jirh haha @Salvijus But attraction is a survival mechanism. How is it connected to the truth?

@Jirh sure, I just try to understand what women are attracted to. what makes a women feel the same way that I feel when I see a woman that fit my physical appearance box.

@Salvijus So Masculine energy which attract feminine women is the ability to be detached, and it is expressed in playfulness? What are you thoughts on this video? https://youtu.be/BoPIgb-E3vU ### Summary This video provides a deep dive into the subtle, often overlooked nuances of male-female interactions that maintain and heighten a woman’s attraction over time. The speaker, drawing from over a decade of dating experience, emphasizes that true "high value" in the eyes of a woman is not about superficial markers like looks, money, or status. Instead, it hinges on mastering micro nuances of communication—specifically, maintaining a detached, calm, and non-reactive demeanor that keeps a man “above the weeds” of any emotional or detailed conversation. The core principle is to avoid getting emotionally entangled or overly engaged in conversations where a woman might be trying to pull a man into arguments, emotional discussions, or detailed explanations. Instead, men should keep conversations light, simple, and energy-driven, similar to how a child might communicate—focused on vibe rather than content. The speaker warns that men who dive into detailed or emotional conversations lose their masculine frame and, consequently, the woman’s attraction and sexual chemistry. This dynamic is crucial for maintaining long-term relationships, where many men falter and see their connection with their partner fade. The recommended approach is to adopt a relaxed, almost “food coma” energy—slow down your speech, avoid over-explaining, and never offer advice unless explicitly asked. This calmness signals emotional stability and confidence, which women subconsciously recognize as “high value.” The video underscores the importance of managing communication patterns to sustain attraction, especially over prolonged periods spent together, and offers practical examples to illustrate these principles. ### Highlights - 🔥 Master the **micro nuances** of attraction beyond looks, money, or status to create an irresistible aura. - 🧠 Stay **“above the weeds”** of conversations—avoid diving into emotional or detailed discussions to maintain masculine energy. - ⚖️ Women test your **internal masculine frame** by trying to pull you into emotional or confrontational conversations. - 😌 Adopt a **relaxed, slow-paced communication style** to convey confidence and emotional stability. - 🚫 Avoid giving advice or over-engaging when she vents; often, she just wants to be heard, not fixed. - 🎯 Keep conversations **simple and vibe-focused**, like communicating on the level of a third grader. - ⏳ Long-term attraction depends on sustaining this **high-level dynamic** and avoiding the trap of excessive emotional investment. ### Key Insights - 🌟 **High Value Is Not Material but Energetic:** Many men mistakenly believe that external markers like wealth, looks, or status define masculinity and attraction. However, the speaker reveals that these are superficial and can be stripped away without diminishing a man’s ability to attract. The real “high value” lies in the man’s energy—his ability to maintain a calm, confident presence that women are instinctively drawn to. This reframing is critical because it shifts focus from external accomplishments to internal emotional mastery. - 🕊️ **“Staying Above the Weeds” Means Emotional Detachment:** The metaphor of “staying above the weeds” illustrates the importance of not getting bogged down in the minutiae or emotional drama of conversations. When a man resists engaging in emotional debates or detailed problem-solving during interactions, he preserves his masculine frame and keeps the woman’s attraction high. Emotional detachment here does not mean being cold or indifferent but rather maintaining a playful, light, and non-reactive stance. - ⚔️ **Women Test Your Frame Through Emotional Pulls:** Women often create scenarios—arguments, emotional venting, or long stories—to test whether a man can maintain his composure. This testing is a subconscious way to assess if the man has a strong internal frame. Men who engage and argue lose their position of power and masculinity because they show they can be emotionally manipulated. Recognizing these tests and responding appropriately is essential for preserving attraction. - 🗣️ **Simplify Communication to Maintain Attraction:** The speaker recommends communicating like a third grader—short, simple, and non-serious statements that focus on the vibe rather than deep content. This simplicity keeps interactions light and enjoyable, preventing the relationship from becoming a cohabitation of two people merely sharing life details without sexual chemistry. This insight highlights the importance of energy over content in romantic communication. - 🧘 **Slow Down Your Speech to Signal Confidence:** Slowing speech by 15-20% and adopting a relaxed demeanor signals to women that the man is calm, secure, and emotionally stable. This vocal tone adjustment is a subtle but powerful nonverbal cue that conveys “I have my life together” without needing to say it explicitly. It also reduces anxiety and self-qualification, which can be turn-offs. - 🚫 **Avoid Offering Solutions When She Vents:** A common mistake men make is trying to “fix” problems or give advice when a woman is sharing frustrations. This often backfires, causing her to feel unheard and pushing her away emotionally. Understanding that women often simply want to be heard, not fixed, reduces unnecessary engagement and preserves the masculine frame. - ⏳ **Prolonged Time Together Increases Difficulty of Maintaining Frame:** Spending long periods with a woman intensifies the challenge of staying above the weeds because more opportunities arise for emotional pull. The speaker advises strict time limits for new relationships (1-2 hours max) to avoid over-investment and to preserve attraction. For experienced men, longer durations are possible but always with conscious effort to maintain the dynamic. - 💡 **Sexual Chemistry is Energy-Driven, Not Content-Driven:** Sexual chemistry dissolves when conversations become too meaningful or serious. Women are attracted to the energy a man brings, not to the depth or seriousness of what he says. The man’s role is to create a fun, light, and playful environment rather than a deep emotional connection through words. This insight challenges conventional wisdom about relationship communication and emphasizes the primacy of emotional energy. - 🎯 **Maintaining Attraction is About Consistent Energy Management:** Attraction is not won once but maintained through ongoing management of energy and communication patterns. The speaker’s emphasis on micro nuances highlights that small shifts—like pausing, not reacting, or redirecting to light topics—can make the difference between sustained desire and fading chemistry. This video offers a comprehensive guide to refreshing male-female dynamics by focusing on mastery of subtle communication techniques and emotional self-control. Men who apply these principles can expect to build stronger, more magnetic connections that endure beyond the initial stages of dating.

Oh, Poor James. I raise a Toast in your memory!

I think Leo is referring to processes that take a considerable amount of time. Will it still be true in 100 years? 200? The world is becoming increasingly homogeneous, and although I agree that many countries have taken in too many immigrants at the moment, I ultimately believe we are evolving in the Spiral to higher stages that do not care about nationalities.

@Never_give_up Maybe the way you feel is not connected to what you have, but to your identity. Maybe you have unhealed trauma, which is shame, guilt, and regrets that you feel, and corresponding beliefs about yourself - I am not worthy, I am not capable, I don't deserve...This creates the Identity of a person who believes "I am not ok as I am". So I believe the first step would be to work on that, to get to the point where you can say: I AM OK AS I AM. I accept myself, regardless of what I have and what I am capable of. What do you think about that?

Is everything I think is real just a figment of my imagination? Does the duality of reality - Imagination ultimately collapse? Sometimes, it seems so...

Do you believe that the only way to gain the world is to truly accept to lose it?

@Aaron p yeah @vibv Poetry , Congrats on 1111 posts. @Salvijus @Breakingthewall @James123 Beautiful

@Puer Aeternus Cool! What are the underlying therapy principles that your technique is based on?

@Aaron p my intention of asking this question is that I had this intuitive idea that is backed up by a lot of experience is that only when you surrender to something you are free of it, like you say. To be happy I need to emotionally accept the idea that I will never be happy. To feel one with the world I have to emotionally accept that no one exist. Etc.

@James123 Ok @James123

You have to understand how the subconscious mind works. Whatever you believe is true will tend to manifest, or in other words: Your life is the Placebo effect. So if your subconscious mind believes something is true, you will find the proof for it. Maybe in more advanced states, it's possible to objectively change the world through your will alone. I'll tell you if I ever get there.

Congrats. What are the main points of your book?

What's the reason you want to love how you look? The first step would be to just "be ok" with how you look. Come to terms with your looks.

Good luck on your way, Brother!

How marvelous it is of God to create all of this complex world, all of the unique people, all the beauty, the infinite complexity, all the magic of the world - just for me. It's truly is the ultimate RPG.

@Someone here True but you can have an ego death, be conscious of Solipsism, then fall back asleep to the dream, and still remember what you experienced.

That's why I condition it to "if (metaphysical) Solipsism is true" - which means that only my experience is real. Yeah, I think it's more accurate than Joy. Epistemic = related to knowledge - so it would be "I know only that I am real, I don't know if others are real or not - maybe they are, maybe not. Metaphysical = related to what exists - so it would be "Only I exist, others do not". It was quite shocking and felt impossible. I was conscious of how my mind created everything - the past, other people, the world - how everything exists just in my mind.