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Everything posted by kamwalker

  1. I feel sorry for the kid in that video, I'm glad he was able to find something to ground himself. However he clearly states he felt mentally ill and still watched Leo's videos despite the disclaimers. There is definitely a fine line you feel like you have to ride when contemplating life seriously. There have been plenty of moments I have questioned my sanity throughout this process. But I feel like that's actually normal and a part of growing through life. When you experience something new it can be scary and you have to adapt to it. New does not have to mean bad. People get solidified in a way of seeing the world and they never break out of that their whole life simply due to fear. Ultimately you just have to do whatever gives you a good life. I still have healthy family and friend relationships, a job that I mostly feel good about, try to live consciously. If I felt like my spiritual practice was causing me to lose my grip with reality to the point that I was sabotaging any of those things I would have to take a step back and re-evaluate.
  2. Foreplay and maintaining presence
  3. I went through this shift several years ago. Mind chatter ended and when I meditated I was purely just experiencing “physical”reality without anything additional. No labeling. It became that I could now think only if I wanted to. I feel like it’s been this way for so long now I’ve kind of forgotten how things used to be and I take it for granted because so many struggle with thoughts running wild.
  4. Yeah it’s funny. Everyone thinks they want enlightenment and when it actually starts happening to you it can be fucking terrifying and your ego wants nothing more than to do cling to what it knew. But it’s usually too late. You can’t go back once it starts and resisting only makes it worse
  5. You’re asking all the right questions. Stick around and maybe you’ll find the answers to some of them
  6. I’ve done it by itself and also combined with other stuff. MDMA+LSD+nitrous was almost too good. But even just by itself it sends me into waves of love that I don’t get with anything else. In the beginning it was mostly just acceptance of the physical self. These days it takes me to God realization in a really beautiful way.
  7. It’s unfortunate that MDMA can only be taken once in a while. I’ll be honest out of all the substances I’ve done it’s my favorite. I’ve had some of my most profound awakenings with it. My last trip with it I was afterglowing for a month.
  8. I've been using nitrous for the last 4-5 years. When I do it I binge for several hours and combine it with a psychedelic/MDMA and then don't touch it again for at least a month. When I used to do carts this would be anywhere from 50-200 at a time. Now they sell little mini tanks which I prefer since you throw them out and don't have a bunch of little carts or have to keep reusing a canister. Just a ballon, tank, and nozzle to dispense the gas and you're good to go. It's definitely not the safest drug, but man is it powerful. I sometimes get into such a flow that I can't stop until it's all done. This can go on for several hours. My most recent trip into infinite was quite frightening actually and I think need a lengthy break.
  9. This was a hard one for me too. You want someone to run to or any other thing that you can think of that is separate. But there's no where to go when everything is you.
  10. A very intense mushroom+nitrous oxide trip where I became conscious of being an eternal singular entity imagining everything forever. Infinite seems like the only word to describe it. I felt destabilized when I came out of it and had a difficult time grounding myself which is rare for me. It didn't feel like an evil experience, but it did not feel loving like it usually does. I'm still processing it. Right now I'm just grateful to be back in the finite localization.
  11. Do you ultimately just have to take more psychedelics to start playing within infinity? My latest experience with infinity was rather horrifying and I think it will be a while before I am ready to go that deep again.
  12. It stops working after a while. Your body just gets too used to it and the good parts of it become diminished. Enjoy it while it lasts and don’t abuse it
  13. You will be bored in that reality if you are bored in this one. Don’t you see? There’s nowhere to go that will complete you.
  14. I was cute but I was passive and hadn't developed my personality yet in my 20's. I attracted a lot of girls, but they never took me seriously once they realized I hadn't discovered my masculinity Once I hit 30 that changed and now I actually feel like a confident man who can take the lead with a woman. Biggest issue is time and effort. Takes from me to find social interactions now than it did in my 20's.
  15. I enjoy Frank Yang’s content. It’s crazy because I knew about him 10+ years ago when I was into body building and had no idea when I watched some of his videos last year that he was on the enlightenment journey. Even though I consume content from at least a dozen different spiritual sources, I find myself feeling these days like I’m at the point that I do that out of boredom and not because I’m going to find any answers. The content is good but eventually you realize the answers have to come from within and someone else saying the same thing from a different meat suit is just that.
  16. My stomach hurts if I don’t make a tea. Usually consists of hot water, ginger, lemon, and a bit of honey.
  17. Had never heard him speak so directly about it before, rather refreshing.
  18. Neither. I have a light meal several hours before tripping. I snack on small things during the trip if I feel like I need energy. Once I feel the trip is mostly over I’m usually depleted so I eat a meal and that sobers me up nicely.
  19. From the interview he did on the Charlie and Ben podcast which I was sub'd to. Checked out the actualized channel after realizing he was talking about the some of the same stuff I had awakened to already and as I scrolled the video list it repeatedly blew my mind because it was like I finally found someone who cared about truth in the same way I did. I watched probably 30 videos in about a 4 month span even going back to rewatch quite a few of them. Such a goldmine
  20. What I'm telling you is that if don't understand why someone would contemplate suicide without attributing it to something negative then you don't get it yet.
  21. This will bother some of you but I truly believe if you haven't contemplated suicide in some form you still have work to do. If you're afraid of even contemplating it that's another fear you have yet to address.
  22. I personally appreciated everything he chose to discuss as it helps with my own process of dealing with life. A lot of you guys have this weird obsession with not treating Leo like he is still a human being. You think because he has reached these insane levels of consciousness through psychedelics that he doesn't come back to human consciousness like we all inevitably do. He struggles with human problems just like the rest of us. You only see a portion of who he is through his videos. He says time and time again to stop idolizing him and so many do not listen.
  23. No and this is why I don't find them comparable. Psychedelics fill me with vibrance and my awareness skyrockets to non-human levels. Weed for the most part dulls me out. It can act as a nice amplifier for psychedelics, but it does not produce consciousness raising effects on its own in my experience. I've smoked my fair share and consumed edibles for many years and none of it touched even a simple 1g mushroom or 100 ug LSD experience. Not to say I haven't had some strange experiences with cannabis, but it simply hasn't accelerated my actualization the way psychedelics have.
  24. There are not even remotely comparable in my experiences