Something Funny

@The Mystical Man oh fuck, I just got it

At some point I thought there was going to be some moral of the story. But no, it's just pure randomness

@The Mystical Man what did I just watch, lol

In this book there are 3 stages of telling the Truth. The first stage is telling facts: basically coming out about your past lies and secrets. However, examples that he uses are basically things that his clients are actually ashamed of and that affect their mental health in a bad way. Like cheating on your spouse for example. Of course a secret like that can potentially rot you out from the inside. But what about secrets and lies about things that are not necessarily bad? For example, when I was going to the Netherlands for studying a few years ago my dad made me promise to him that I won't use any drugs and I said "yes", even though I knew that I will want to experiment psychedelics. A few years passes, and this topic got raised in a casual conversation once again, and I basically said that I didn't try any, even though it was a lie. The thing is: I am not ashamed of using psychedelics. I still use them and plan to use them even more in the future for personal development (which is once again a secret that I am supposed to open up about according to the book). I believe that it's not my problem that he is so close minded about this topic. And I think that I have every right to hide this fact from him because in my opinion he will not be able to handle the truth in a healthy way and because I don't believe that he earned this level of trust from me. But I still feel bad about lying to him. And I have to admit that part of the reason for hiding this is simply because I am afraid and not because of some righteous reason. And a lie is a lie no matter how you look at it. So I don't know, should I come clean about it or not? @Leo Gura, you are the biggest Truth advocate here so any advise, please?

But isn't it much more conditional, and therefore less real, though? For example, I have a hard time believing that my dad would still love me if I turned out to be gay or decided to become trans female.

@Yimpa thank you, I will try it )

Is there a specific meditation practice that you caan do regularly to develop self-love?

Yeah, I agree. But you have to understand that there are different people who are at different levels of development in life. Sure, there are men who only care about looks just like there are women who only care about your height or bank account, or sexual charisma. But that doesn't mean that everyone is like that. Also, the kind of relationship you have with a man matters. If he is only interested in you for casual sex (like I assume is the case for the guy who started this thread), it makes sense that he isn't going to care for anything but your looks that much. The truth is that not all people care or pay attention to their partner's level of consciousness or personal development. This is true both for men and women. You need to be quite developed yourself already to care about those things in a partner. So if you don't want a man to only care about your looks and nothing else, you need to choose the right man and that means that you yourself need to care about something more than just raw attraction towards your partner.

@at_anchor just develop yourself day after day. Leo likes saying that you should have a plan for the next 20 years. But if you asked a 20 year old to predict how his like would look like at 35, he would have no clue. Heck even when he started actualized.org he probably had no idea that he would end up where he is now. And that's how it should be, because when you are doing hardcore personal development you basically become a different person in the process so your thinking, vision, and goals change.

@The Mystical Man haha, well maybe in a few years then

@The Mystical Man in english?

@The Mystical Man but why? Is there anything specific you suggest paying attention to if I decide to reread it?

@The Mystical Man what did you like so much about the harry potter? I read it as a kid, but don't remember much at this point.

@Thought Art thank you

@The Mystical Man wow, thanks a lot for sharing ))

@The Mystical Man I like your taste in general I think. Can you recommend me a a bunch of high quality, conscious movies and books (fiction books) to watch / read. It doesn't have to be the same genre as the whale, but something on the same level of artistry or above.

@Thought Art How to start really loving yourself

@Thought Art yeah, but how?

Thanks for recommending it. I've just watched it and it was the best movie I've ever seen.

@mr_engineer no, but I am not going to engage in this dumb conversation.

@Ulax just a little rant.

@Judy2, @Lila9 if this makes you feel any better, those types of conversations are kind of silly in my opinion, because there is no universal standard for what a "10" is and perception of beauty is different for different people. It has become really obvious to me recently because I started doing cold approaching with a few other guys and have noticed that our tastes are quite different. Just yesterday one of them was showing a picture of a girl to me, saying how frustrated he is that she flaked on him because she is one of the hottest women he has ever seen. While I was thinking to myself "ehh, she looks fine, I guess". Similarly, he would often not even look at girls who I found really cute and attractive, etc.

@Ulax also, I can emphasize with girls here who complain about always having to read stuff like "you need to be a 10 to have value". It does mess with your head whether you want it or not.

@Ulax but that's not why I made the comment. It's just that I have noticed that anytime I enter a dating section here it's more likely that I will get some negative belief or ideology forced into my mind instead of getting some positive information / motivation / encouragement. It is seriously affecting me in a bad way. And even if you block users who post this kinds of stuff, you can still see the titles like "women treat men the way they treat jobs". What an empowering message to read before going to sleep while trying to improve your dating life, lol.

@Mask Seller I actually changed the way I think about this situation in general. Before I believed that I can't have a relationship because I am too busy with other aspects of my life, but now I think that it was just insecurity in me speaking. Nothing really is stopping me from trying to get into a relationship, even if I am super busy. And if the girl decides to break up with me because I don't invest too much time into her, well, that's on her. The same with thinking that I won't able to develop my dating skills if I get into a relationship. Getting a gf will be hard af for me as os, and I will have to go through a lot to get there. So I will develop plenty. And if I am not good enough, the girl will just break up with me and I will keep going. So now my goal is to actually get a gf through this process and then see where it goes.