Something Funny

@thierry 22.

@NoSelfSelf @MarkKol do you know that both of you have retarded sense of humour? You should start a stand up comedy band together.

@NoSelfSelf please, shove your tough love up your tough ass

I also have all of that...

@Roy I don't even mean like pretty girls. Just girls in general. There is just something special about people liking and getting attracted to you for just existing. Honestly, one of my biggest fears is that one day I will make it, will become successful, confident, develop a life purpose and overall be a highly developed person. And I will find myself a girlfriend, but in the back of my mind I will know that she only loves me for all those things that I've achieved / became and that she wouldn't give a shit about me the way I used to be. Even though I would still be essentially the same person on the inside.

@thierry honestly, I would probably too. Although, I guess it depends on what they would want to do in their life .

@Leo Gura one more question if you don't mind. Did you have any starting capital? In the life purpose course you've mentioned that your game design job barely covered your costs of living in Boston. Did you find a way to start a business with very little money investment?

@Leo Gura do you need to have good social skills to be a great marketer/salesman? Did you have any at that point? Or do you just need the knowledge on how to do it?

That's amazing. Do you think getting finances fully covered like that helped you to let go, stop worrying about money which led you to being able to find your actual life purpose?

@Leo Gura thank you

Day 5/90 Today's session was rather low quality because I felt really sleepy and tired. I would move a lot and feel anxious at the end. But I showed up and sat there until the end end, which is the most important. Sitting through all this anxiety and sleepiness without quitting is also a really great exercise by itself. Also, if I can show up and meditate for 3 hours when I am sick and tired it will be much easier for me to meditate when I feel great. I didn't do any yoga or qigong because I jad plenty of movement before meditation and after meditation I decided that the best thing I can do right now for my body is to go to sleep.

Day 1/90 About 1 hour of qigong/yoga/breathwork - Done 3 hours of meditaion - Done Comments: It was hard and painful, but not as hellish as I expected it to be. I wasn't able to sit completely still though. First, I had to get up and change my position after the first 30 minutes because i sat really uncomfortably and it was really painful. But after that I didn't get up from the chair, just did some minor movements with my back, neck, legs, toes, etc. I've tried to minimize them as much as possible but wasn't always able to. I hope I will do better in future sessions. Time actually went by quicker that how I felt it. I was expecting to sit for about 30 minutes longer when the time started ringing. I felt my mind burning throughout the whole practice, which is exactly what I wanted. Although there were moments where I felt really at ease throughout the practice.

Day 4/90 Today's session was kind of unique. I was really tired after work and also a little sick so after eating and watching some youtube I decided to take a nap. I woke up at half past 8 and was still tired, but I knew that I will do the session no matter what. I did around an hour of qigong to wake myself up a bit and it has put me into a great, calm state of mind. The meditation itself was quite pleasant, it's like my mind has finally started to adapt and I got a little breakthrough. I still moved around during the session and change positions several times but I think I moved less then I did previously, and, more importantly, my movements and mind in general were much less frantic. I felt rather calm and as if I finally got a grip on my mind, even though there were challenging moments of course. I didn't look at the timer this time, which I am also really glad about. About 1 hour of qigong/yoga/breathwork - Done 3 hours of meditaion - Done P.S. I finished meditating at 1 am, but I don't care. By my rules it still very much counts.

@Leo Gura okay. I see, thank you for advise.

I really want to finally get comfortable being in my own skin. I always compare myself to other people with regards to looks, intelligence, carrier success, success with relationships, etc. How do I stop doing that and appreciate myself for who I am? On the intellectual level I know that I am unique and have my own strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else so it's silly toncompare myself to other people, but emotionally I don't feel like that at all. For example today I saw this really tall and handsome looking guy at work, and my immediate reaction was to get insecure and think that he is better than me. It's such an abstract issue that I don't even know how to deal with it. Like, even if I do a tonn of cold approaches, achieve great success with women, become a billionaire or whatever, I will still feel confident only in relation to other people. I will compare myself to them and think that I am now better than them and feel good because of that. Which still doesn't address the root issue of me not being comfortable being who I am and having to compare myself to others at all.

I like that perspective. @Lila9 thanks, the notebook idea sounds really cool and creative. I think I will try it. I am almost always alone. So this one is covered I have this handled as well. Do you mean things like travelling? Can you explain how this should help?

@Gesundheit2 yeah, okay, I get it. There are no special techniques. I will try my best.

@Leo Gura I do try to stop this kind of negative thoughts out whenever they arise. But the feeling is still there no matter what I do. Like in today's case, I've noticed this behaviour right away and told myself all the things Gesundheit mentioned above. And even made this post afterwards, lol. It didn't stop me from feeling insecure. Are you saying that if I get really serious and try to willfully change it, I can even change the way I feel in the moment?

@Gesundheit2 I completely agree with whay you wrote. But how do I actually start feeling and functioning in that way?

Done, day 3/90 Now this was fucking hard. I got sucked into reddit and porn after finishing work and didn't snap out of it until about half past 7. When I finally did I was feeling like crap. But anyway, I did abaout 50 minutes of qigong to get myself into a better state of mind and then sat down to do a meditation session. I finally got a meditation pillow btw, and that made this session much easier on my lower back which is nice. However, this didn't change the fact that the session was very hard mentally for me. I was feeling very tired and therefore got distracted easier then usual, which caused me to move much more than I did for the last two days. I've also cheked the timer twice again. Once 24 minutes before the end and for the second time 15 minutes before the end. By that time I was feeling like crap both metally and physically and would take regular breaks sitting in a sort of a low squat while hugging my knees. On the good side, it was really emotionally challenging and a lot of stuff came up so even though I wasn't at my best during meditation I worked through a lot of things and didn't quit. Which is great.

@flowboy if this is a legitimate way to make money then it could help me to gather enough capital to start a business that I actually care about. @supremeyingyang I know it's not something that I would do forever, but if I were learning prograamming with the same goal of earning enough money with it to start doing something that I care about, then why not choose this path instead? It seems quicker and lore efficient. Idk, just thinking out loud.

Sorry, I must have been sleep deprived. Idk why I thought that you refer to this forum Edit: I've checked it out and wow there are lots of posts there of people sharing their stories about how they've made a bunch of money rather quickly with minimum skills. Like the examples below: https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/how-to-create-a-2k-mo-passive-income-website-in-30-days-or-less.107531/ https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/earning-5-5k-mo-at-16-im-doing-it.107383/ Is this real or is this some sort of scam to promote books or whatever they are selling on that forum? Stories sound legit, but also kind of too good to be true? @Girzo @supremeyingyang @flowboy any advise, please? Are those forum/books/threads/money making methods like this (create your own digital marketing agency with no marketing knowledge by hiring a contractor to do the work for you or create some bullshit digital product in 20 minutes and sell it through google adds) something that is actually worth checking out and trying to replicate (if I throw all the ideology out of it) or is it a waste of time and I should stick to Leo's advise of trying to find my life purpose, developing mastery in something, etc.? @Leo Gura could you share your opinion on this as well? You've also gotten out of wage slavery by starting some sort of digital marketing business, right?

Day 2/90 About 1 hour of qigong/yoga/breathwork - Done 3 hours of meditaion - Done Comments: Today I actually had a harder time then yesterday. The time went by slower then I expected and I got very anxious by the end of it. I actually glanced at the time twice (when it was just 10 minutes left). The good news is that once I saw that there are just 10 minutes left I decided to sit 100% still until it rings and I was able to do it. Also this session was emotionally harder. Pain and discomfort were quite strong by the end and my mind felt like it was burning (which is exactly what I want). In general, I feel like I was a little bit more still than the last time, especially in the first half. I need to work on making sure that I don't look at the timer in the future and to detach myself from time more in general.

You mean Leo's booklist?

Not bad, I like it. How did you find them?