Something Funny

@MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI what is a meaning behind this weird profile pick? Do you guys really enjoy constantly looking at your ugly profile pics?

@flowboy anyway, fuck you. I am not going to engage with you anymore. I am adding you to the ignore list.

@flowboy to clarify. My issue is not that you haven't read enough books. My issue is that you are a money hungry, two faced, prick. Who pretends to be very nice but actually looks down on people. And I guess you have shown your true colors and your quality as a person to everyone, in this conversation, by repeatedly trying to put me down and call me names even though I have been trying to avoid doing the same to you up until now.

@flowboy and I never claimed to have the real answers, unlike you. I didn't even talk to you. I shared my perspective with the op without tagging you or anything. And pointed out that this is just my personal experience. But somehow you are still trying to debate me on which one of us is more knowledgeable. At least I am not running around a forum claiming to be a coach. So I am not sure why you feel the need to compare your level of knowledge to mine? Sure, you know more than me about it, cause it's not my profession. So what? I know more about logistics than you do. Let's have a debate about temperature controlled reefers, lol.

@flowboy And no, and I don't actually have an issue with coaches in general or with the self-help. I really admire Leo. I really admire my current coach. It's pricks like you that I have a problem with. You say I am attacking you. But I was actually the one who tried apologising first and ending the conflict. And you have been consistently trying to demean me and call me names, lol. I suggest you take a screenshot of your responses to me. And put them in a frame on a wall behind you when you are doing your coaching calls, so that you clients know who they are dealing with.

@flowboy oh you didn't? I confused you with someone else? Dude, I literally still have our conversation on this forum. And unlike you, I don't mass approach life coaches on here so it's hard for me to confuse you with someone since you are the only one I had this kind of conversation. Maybe you are the one who got blurry on the details after talking to hundreds of people? Here, let me remind you: Rings a bell? You yourself called it "a short 10 minute call". Guess which one of us is full of shit, lol.

@flowboy there is this food delivey service in Europe, called Wolt. It's an Ubereats / Doordash analog. And their fucking customer support is more humane and empathetic than you are.

@flowboy oh wow. I wanted to stop this argument. And even made a first step. But since you want to continue, then lets go... Forum members can, in fact, contribute to the forum if they feel like it. It doesn't have to be THEIR forum, for them to do this. This is why the report button exists for example. Also, I wasn't going to police anything. I wasn't going to bring this up with anyone. I just wanted to point it out. But, if you insist, I guess I will ask the moderators team their third party opinion on the issue. Hmm, I wonder where. I wasn't really bitter at you originally. Just kind of sad and disappointed. *** You are calling me entitled for wanting free stuff. But I didn't come begging to you for life advise. You DMed me yourself! You pretended to emphasize with me, had me share some of my major insecurities and worries with you. All just to pitch me your coaching. And I mean, when you offered me a call and I agreed to it, I knew, that you were probably going to do something like that at some point. I was even open to that idea. But then I was shocked by how direct and impersonal it was, I guess. You basically listened to me describing what I struggled with for 5 minutes and than proceeded to offer me you coaching for a 1000 bucks. That's all it was. Oh, and you also shared a few of your youtube videos with me. That's not called "trying to help someone". That's called a sales funnel. You even sent me a few follow up texts after I started ignoring you, as if I was a part of your email newsletter, lol. Such, such a caring friend. *** But now I got annoyed because of you repeatedly talking down to me and trying to demean me by pointing out how superior your knowledge is. And we started talking about coaches and stuff, so I decided to bring it up. Idk, maybe you had friends and family who charged you an hourly rate for spending time with you, but that's not what it looks like when someone sincerely care about you. My interaction with you can be basically broken down into: 1. Cold approach You: Hey man, I really resonated with your post, what's up Me: Idk, kind of feeling like shit. You: Oh no, why is that? Me: well, I am really bothered by this thing and this thing You: yeah, that makes total sense man. I understand why you would feel this way. Anyway, I am actually helping people deal with this kind of stuff. If you want we can have a 10 minute call and I can give you some tips. Me, thinking to myself: shit, he just wants to sell me his course or something. Well, whatever, lets see where it goes. 2. The sales pitch We have a call. I share my story a little bit -> you try to sign me up for paid sessions You might have given me some self-help tips which I don't remember by know (thank you, there is such a shortage of them on the internet), when I mostly just wanted some empathy and connection. 3. The newsletter I decide to just quietly ignore you after the call. While you are sharing your youtube videos, podcasts, and 7 day retreats with me. *** THIS IS NOT WHAT ACTUALLY CARING AND TRYING TO HELP A PERSON LOOKS LIKE. That's why I said "pretend". I mean. No. The issue is not you having a service that you charge money for. The issue is our whole interaction being your sales funnel. If you actually cared, and bothered to spend time being a friend to me, just emphasizing, no need for some fancy self-help advise. And then were like: "Btw, I have those paid coaching sessions. If you ever feel like working on you situation more in depth, feel free to ask me about it if you will be interested" Then I would have no problem with it. I would also have no problem with you just straight up DM-ing me and being like: "hey man, I am offering this coaching program for 1000 bucks. I saw you post and thought that you might be interested". What bothers me is you playing these stupid games. And, up until this point, still trying to gaslight me into thinking that you somehow deeply cared about me. Oh, thank you. The next time I go for a "free chat with a car salesman" I will make sure to express my gratitude for him making this huge sacrifice and "making time for me", for purely altruistic reason. And even smiling at me Do you want me to give you a medal or something? Which is what? I am curious, what exactly do you think you gave me? What is "more"? Oh no, now I am going to regret this decision for the rest of my life. Yeah, and then you wonder why you have communication issues when you talk like that. You wrote all this based on what? Me saying two sentences about self-love? One of which wasn't even addressed to you. You have no idea what I mean by self-love. You have no idea what I mean by practicing self-love. You have no idea what my beliefs are, what teaching and methods I am following, what my practice is. You have no idea what I am coping with, what I am not coping with, what I am paying money for, what I am learning. You are the one making ad-hominem attacks at me through my imaginary coping strategies. You are just projecting your own bullshit beliefs onto me. You even claim that you have "real answers", lol. I see that being too humble is not an issue for you.

@flowboy I was too harsh, sorry.

And yeah, Self-Love IS the highest teaching in the Universe. It's a shame that you don't get this.

Oh well, at least my teacher actually achieved something in her own life and has a direct experience of what she is talking about. And so does Leo actually. Maybe that's why they now don't have to invade other people's forums to hunt for customers. You seem like a perfect example of someone who became successful by starting to teach other people how to become successful.

@flowboy Oh, do not worry. I have no issue with paying for the services that I get. I've paid all my therapists for their sessions. I am paying my current teacher for sessions with her. And I have also bought a bunch of courses and self-help books. What really makes me sick though, is the audacity to proactively seek out a person who is in pain, pretend to be a caring friend, just wanting to help, and then try to pitch them your product while they are in this vulnerable, emotional state. Actually, I am not sure if your signature and what you are doing doesn't violate forum rules about no self-promotion. This forum is not for you to run up to people and try to sell them your coaching sessions like a trader selling watermelons at marketplace. Oh wow, so now you have gone and started a full on attack on my education level and financial situation. I guess this really show the quality of person that you are. Well, I am sorry for being such a plebs compared to you, professor.

But don't worry. Yes, I am a bit pissed off now, but not at you. Just this whole state of affairs in general. And it's not your fault, @flowboy. Just like it's not a fault of those porn girls. They are simply doing what they have to, to survive in our difficult world. But it's just frustrating for us, outsiders, that you only see us as some ignorant money bags. Besides, I've been super lucky to finally find a teacher who puts her whole heart and soul into this work.

Secondly, it is funny how in the text quoted below you dismiss me expressing my frustrations as a patient with people working in this field and write them off as me simply being ignorant, but then you do the same thing. Is that because you are an "insider" who has a right to say those things because you are sooo educated? And yeah, I've had some experience with shit therapists, coaches, and self-help gurus. And you were actually one of them. I am not sure if you remember me but I was once in a pretty bad mental state, sharing my issues on this forum, and you reached out to me, pretending to care "oh so much" and wanting to help me. Only for it to turn out to be a pitch for your 1000+ dollar coaching package or something (I guess you must have been pretty desperate for clients at that time to hunt for them one by one on here). That kind of a behavior, finding someone in pain and then trying to make some money off of them, is a thing that really annoys me to be honest. Actually, now that I think of it, it's no wonder that you were standing up for those pornhub girls. What you are doing is not that different.

I am not saying that this is what a therapist does. I am saying that this is the intention I got from your original post. Notice how you didn't provide that context originally and are only now adding it. Maybe I wouldn't even started arguing with you if it was written like that from the beginning. All of that is to say that maybe you frustration comes from the fact that the way you communicate with people sucks, and not because of "ignorant outsiders who don't believe you".

@Javfly33 yeah, btw. You won't be able to deal with this Findom thing by "taking responsibility" or by using your willpower. What you need to work on is self-love. What's so neat about this is that it is a fundamental skill and you can just slowly chip away at it. As opposed to trying to find some mysterious moment in your past that will be crystal clear linked to your fetish, like your mom stealing your lunch money while you were playing under a dinner table *not that analyzing your past is totally useless.

@flowboy seriously, If a patient comes to a therapist and shares that he has a foot "fetish" and that he has a lot of guilt and shame around it. And a therapist decides to fix the part of his client that likes feet instead of working with the shame and guilt, and promoting self-love and self-acceptance. Then I think that they are a shit therapist. This is my genuine opinion. Not as a medical professional, but as a client who is sick and tired of under-qualified, dumb therapists, coaches, and other self-help gurus.

Look, I am sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to. You are a nice person and I didn't mean to criticize you, just an example. And come on, it is a shitty example. Feet under the table, seriously? How many people are going to be able to come up with such a clear, simple connection? And how do you know that this memory is all there is and there is nothing more contributing to the fetish. And also, why would you even use a foot fetish as an example when the op is talking about findom? Findom can literally ruin your life. What's wrong with foot fetish? How is it hurting anyone? Who decided that liking feet is even a fetish? Like, feet are just another part of human body. They are not objectively uglier than breasts or ass or whatever, that's just cultural conditioning. Why is liking an ass considered okay and liking feet isn't? If anything, rejecting a certain part of human body and thinking that it is ugly, or disgusting is more pathological than liking it, no?

Unfortunately all the sex stuff is still taboo in our society and porn industry, as well as all of the digital stuff in general is too poorly regulated. The legislation simply sucks. So that's why such abuse is possible in my opinion.

@Javfly33 If you pretend to be a therapist, but don't actually have a license you can get into legal trouble. If a therapist manipulates his mentally vulnerable patient and makes the patient give all of his belongings away to him, he can get into legal trouble. If a nursing home abuses their elderly residents, they can get into legal trouble. A porn addict, addicted to something like findom is arguably in a similarly vulnerable mental state. So I don't think it should be okay for them to be scammed out of their money.

Yeah, that's what I meant. It sounded like something a self-help book would say. They tend to provide simplistic, overly exaggerated examples to sell you their five steps to successful success. Things are way more subtle in real reality in my opinion. You have a power to change individually, sure. But what I am saying is that we, as a society, should hold such people responsible. And we do, to some degree. For example selling drugs is illegal. And so is selling alcohol or cigarettes to kids below 18 years old. I have another example/question. Why is it not okay for an alcohol producer to claim that it's not their fault that some 12 year old kid wants to drink vodka with his friends and that they should have the right to sell it to them? What about a 17 year old? Why do we, as a society, protect children from harm in this way instead of just saying: "oh, whatever, it's the kids fault that he is dumb and wants to do drugs". But then, somehow, magically, once the kid crosses 18 years, it's okay? He is on his own now? One day we protect him, and on the next day he can go and drink himself to death for all we care. Did something about a kid change in this one day? No, nothing actually changed, he didn't magically become more mature and responsible. Becoming 18 years old doesn't work like a level up in a video game. The only thing that changed is our subjective view of him. Actually, it's the same with porn as it all supposed to be 18+. What if your underage kid went and gave 1000 bucks to some onlyfans girl, would you have said: "well it's not her fault that he likes findom or whatever"? No, you would have probably sued the shit out of her and out of the streaming platform. But somehow once the kid get over 18 it suddenly becomes okay for him to be scammed and abused. And it becomes his own fault.

@Javfly33 I don't agree with Flowboy saying: "it's not their fault that you like that". I think that they are basically preying on people's traumas and mental disorders, which is really low in my opinion. It's like saying that it is okay for big corporations to abuse human psychology and use whatever marketing and sales techniques they want. And say that it's not mcDonalds fault that people are addicted to junk food. Or that it's not facebooks / twitters / tik toks / instagrams fault that you are addicted to social media. That being said, there will always be those who prey on weak people. Like thieves who steal from old people or kids, or employers abusing their position of power. This is nothing new. And I don't think it's any different in this case. Basocally, all you can do personally is to become strong enough.

Sounds like an asspull

What angers me the most is that from what I understand there won't be much consequences for something like this. The officer might get fired because of the public outrage and that's it. He should be put into prison and then made to pay the victim for the rest of his life.

@mr_engineer I see. Never had anything like this happen to me. No worries then.