Jannes

I am writing with her and I have mixed feelings.

No I dont think I really like this person. We vibed and there is a bit of an emotional dependence almost, like I needed some deep hugs that I got from her. If we got to know each other more, maybe something long term is possible but I dont think it's likely. You mean sex?

No we literally got super close without really getting to know one another beforehand.

Can you explain your point further?

Thanks for the reply there is a lot to cover. Combining my LP with making money is pretty difficult atm because it would make my LP more stressful and I am still in the process of finding it. There are like 5 different things with potential I am just dipping my toe into, so I really dont know what it's going to be in the end. I am also in the process of healing and finding myself from all the years without meds and help so taking time some time for myself and letting things clear up naturally seems wiser then jumping straight into the hustle. In terms of making money: 1) Teaching would be purely for that. It would take me some time to finish my studies but it would be a good option then. 2) Doing some sort of start up would be an option as well but I DONT have experience in that field at all and it would be pretty risky because of it. And because a startup wouldnt even be my LP I dont think it's the best option for me right now. 3) Earning money through my LP is a distant dream EXCEPT if I study to become an actor. But I dont know if becoming an actor really is my LP I think it just misses it. I want to have something to show for before I promote myself. Ideally I would like to do it freely because I love it and not because I have a massive audience which gives me confirmation. 4) Also connecting with people, doing behind the scenes or social media work isnt really something I am good at, I think it would drain me more then studying. I could maybe start doing YouTube stuff though thats an idea.

Likely yes. I have conflicting feelings. On the one hand I feel a deep emotional connection on the other she feels a bit like a stranger to me. Usually you become not strangers to each other and then a deeper connection can take place. Here the order is changed. We live in different cities anyway so I am pretty sure I dont want a relationship anyway but maybe a good friendship. But it's the same deal, it also feels a little weird for that.

Damn I feel that. What's your personality type in the 16 personalities test btw. ? How did you come to that conclusion though? For myself I am pretty certain about many of my strengths. Because of all the problems adhd caused me I sunk deep into philosophy looking for answers. I was always reflected but I dont know to which extend the problems forced me to instead of me being naturally interested in it. So thats something I haven't figured out about myself which could pretty strongly change my set of values.

I guess for proper evaluation we should also tell if we dont have any? I dont have children.

The lion is in a different survival situation. He isnt intelligent enough to have concepts like morality. He is also a carnivore. He is also keeping the population of herbivores in check and actually helps the environment while humans built an artificial environment with their factory farming which you can simply get rid of for something else.

I wouldnt say that a lot of sex makes you more confident but the process of attracting someone teaches you many social skills very well as a byproduct. You learn body language, inner game, physical escalation, ... way better because you put yourself in an harsh environment where you loose when your game isnt on point and you often get immediate feedback for what was cool and what wasn't. You can have small talk with your boss for 10 years and never lean anything deep about social skills because mistakes are way more acceptable.

Lol you cherry pick so hard it's laughable. On average eating vegan causes less harm to the environment and animals. Of course people shouldn't make an identity out of that/ feel morally superior because of it.

No but you probably have more social experience in things like chatting up people, reading body signs, creating attraction. Better have these skills when you are socially anxious then not.

Nice. Yeah when you have the opportunity to do that that seems to be the way to go. Sure that's a conditioning to undo. But experience itself is important and lay count is a measurement of that. So when I have a higher lay count I will be more confident, not because of the lay count but because of the experience under my belt.

Haha thats interesting I always think that the most non emotional well thought through comments I make have the most value but expressing emotions can be valuable as well it seems. Well its just my perspective but perhaps it overlaps with the perspective of other guys as well. So I should embrace it more but dont embrace it? Thoughts are free I guess but unfulfilled dreams can be a pain as well. I think one has to find healthy ways to get sex. Thoughts and reality can be aligned then. True. But having a "decent lay count" itself is valuable because it means you have more crucial experience which contributes to a certain overall social confidence.

Yeah even cancer.

No I dont think that women are the weaker sex or are weaker at protesting. That line of reasoning comes from seeing women as less complete than men. But women have plenty of abilities which one could argue make them the more complete sex like more emotional intelligence and conscientiousness. I think men and women are just a little different and do things different and you cant compare apples to oranges.

The nature of their rebellion is just a little different. It's more strategic and diplomatic sometimes.

You shouldn't do it in times where you have much important shit to do. It requires a lot of brain power that you then cant put into something else.

Have you heard of feminism?

Oh god I think it has to do with lots of personal reasons and insecurities of mine.. I can totally see the perspective where it just looks like someone putting on an immature act. I can brainstorm a little what triggers me about it but its somewhat of an emotionally charged chaos that might not make much sense: - I only had a few sexual partners and feel like I should have had more. I am a bit insecure about it. And a girl demonstrating that she can have as much as she wants at any time basically makes me feel powerless/ outmatched. I think I pride myself a little when I had sex. So this just beats my ego. - I also feel like she isnt responsible in her decision making. She shouldn't reward random dudes for sex who didn't do anything to deserve it. - I also feel deep disgust towards myself as even with all of this I still find her attractive and some side of me would like to have sex with her. I know I would feel awful for it but my intellect cant override my primal side. I realize how weak I am to female seduction. I would like to think of her as just a slut and be done with it but I cant completely and that makes me sick. I have a female friend who isnt good for me but would offer me free sex atm. I resisted but it's so hard. That lust for sex creeps into my mind corrupting me and DESTROYING MY BEAUTIFUL CONSCIOUSNESS!

Interesting I didnt know that. But girls sleeping with 100 guys would never be an integral part of any culture. It's not shocking that a girls sleeps around, but that a girl would put herself through something like this is.

Nicely put. Well I just have my perspective where this thing caused some horror in me which I managed to work through like a new variant of a virus the body has to learn how to defend against.

Okay I see. Well but you kind of get confronted with this possibility.. That it repeatedly didnt light up is chilling to know.

She is screwing with some foundational agreed upon moral principles which hold society together. Sex is a deep driving force for human behavior so if we dont handle that consciously it can do a lot of damage: If many girls gave sex away that easily guys would loose morality because they wouldnt need to try that hard to get sex and many girls would be deeply unhappy because they couldnt find somebody to stick around for long.. just my two cents on this, how a society with very free sex would look like would be a very long discussion. If she actually started a trend that would be like terrorism from within.

I have recently seen a women pull this off with boots like this in rose color. She had a whole rose coat, scarf, hair color and even a rose hello kitty phone case. It all matched together pretty objectively. You might have adapt your whole outfit to your shoes or at least wear black and a piece that matches these shoes.