Jannes

I think something like this is weird to do like a practical routine but maybe the kind of person who is very logical and routinely needs exactly that. Pure dance can be a lot of fun, if you dont learn to get any enjoyment out of it you wont become good at it. I did a lot of free dancing in clubs and often at home. Maybe like 80 hours in total, hard to tell. Well you learn to get more and more comfortable in pure dance and you put more emotions into it. So you grow to enjoy it more. Some tipps are valueable, like dance with your soul not with your mind.

A water filter station is more expensive then that but it might even be overkill especially in countries with decent drinking water. Sad that it doesnt say how much percent of the heavy metals it filters out.

This shit has potential for a song, just take the intro:

@Leo Gura But you said it would be amazing. What did you have in mind?

Leo said he is directing a video game as he has full time emplyeses working on a video game for him. A few years ago he also once said to Razard that he wants to do a movie about infinity to which razard replied that he knew that Leo would want to do that. How the f do I remember these things...

Okay I see. Would recognizing oneself in the mirror count as being conscious of identity?

Isnt that a pretty specific kind of human consciousness? A bee can see ultraviolett on a flower while humans do not so it has more consciousness in that regard.

A person who seeks truth and tries to unbullshit his mind is kind of a strange pervert to society. He searches for deeper and deeper ways of self deception and when he finds them and airs them out he gets off from it. The deeper the self deception the stronger the kick. Like a person who gets satisfaction out of squeezing out pimples. This person searches for the ultimate pimple because he knows what a kick squeezing out the last big pimple got him. In the same same a truth seeker knows how satisfying finding a big pimple of self deception in ones mind is and that finding the ultimate self deception will lead somewhere profound.

A situation yesterday triggered me and made me angry (without medication). That instantly got me into a mindset where I thought I could socialize. Basically I can work with any kind of stimulation and make something out of it but most of the time the tank is just empty.

I took a crumble of a Medikinet Tablet (adhd medication) today. I didnt want to take it anymore because I felt like it changed me to much but I was in such a low the last days I couldnt think of another option. Just that one super small crumble today led me to work on a task which felt so unpleasent I could have delayed it forever with not enough inner emotional regulation control to attack it. Took another even smaller crumble 5 hours later - I went to the gym and I am stil feeling motivated and optimistic and ready to change my current situation. Even all the social problems are kind of dissolved, I coudl actually socialize like everybody else because I have enough dopamine to independently from other people be in control of my emotional state. Many people take up to 3 tablets a day, I might have taken 1/8 of a tablet today... (interesting)

I had moments where I thought about working on an emergency hotline for suicidal people, or becoming a social worker for criminals or heck even becomign a stripper. I never really knew what interested me about these things but what all of them have in common is that they are in highly stimulating environements.

I very much appreaciate these short mini films. And I think I could be good at creating them as well as it connects deep psychological understanding which you cant really get out of textbook but moreso through intuition and the wild creative expression of these insights. Its just that I dont know if I could sit around on my chair all day to create that. I need a stimuating environement to get me going. I recently even heard that many AD(H)D people work in emergency services because they thrive in high stimulating environements. Well I dont have enough experience to tell if I could work on a project without much outside distraction IF I found it highly interesting (stimulating). If not this would be the environement where I would thrive in:

"All civilization was just an effort to impress the opposite sex."

Did you buy them out of pure hope that they would make a career or some breakthrough for you by chance?

Haha thats genius. This in a way closes the duality between intelligence and non intelligence.

It was 20 years ago when he was a drug addict, imagine how much he has spiritually grown coming of drungs, getting more mature, being a parent and so forth.

I dont know. But there are 4 accusations. The odds seem low that he is innocent.

Oh I misread. Well yeah it just makes it likely that it was indeed rape.

Rape..

Thats not just true of women but probably moreso.

I know that I want to create something that is truly meaningful. I cant really find anything though because I want it to connect to something profound. I need to realize god (which I want to do anyway) and gods beauty and intelligence which will help me find something that is truly meaningful. For the god realization I need to become mentally stable and clear. Plan: Become psychologically healthy, do spirituality, create god-like cool shit. Easy. I am thinking about theatre plays again.

"Why dont you talk about your emotions?" My emotions:

@Nilsi holy fuck a person with adhd had to create that masterpiece. That actually reached me.

Haha that connection was obvious.

I am not on other social media. A dating app that I use has a kind of social media function though and I was commenting on some stuff in actualized fashion forgetting that I was in this bubble before. Couldnt bond at all there. I also like how we call each other out here when we are full of shit because thats not personal its about finding truth. Actualized is a piece in my life and a source of inspiration to actualize.