Jannes

I remember that I had a friend who had a ton of self worth problems stemming etc. from a bad childhood and I worked a lot for him. It felt incredible, honestly I thought at some point that I just need to replicate that at the future and I basically dont have to work anymore because I like it so much. However it just didnt really work out, I spent so much love but nothing really changed and I was running out of love myself, I thought I had infinite fuel but I didnt. That depressed me a little. And I also had my own problems and so it came to an end at some point. But this is basically still what I do all the time. If I learn to get my own needs met, maybe this can be work for me. I am basically thinking that my work needs to be closely tied to the field of a social worker who works on helping people with emotioal problems, trauma, etc. Its just not clear to me what my exact taste would be. Maybe hardcore trauma would just be too much for me for example. And also much of my inventions and ideas come from this point, helping people with art though instead of directly. So in my life I either want to do direct social work and do my art in my free time, or do creative work as a job and at least have plenty of friends I can be the free psychiatrist for.

I wrote the leader of my club a text message that I want to leave the club a few days ago. He hasnt replied yet. I thought about it for more then a year now and writing the message itself took me about 6 hours with weeks beforehand. The club was the biggest heartbreak I ever had, I committed so deeply so breaking from it created panik in me. It was almost perfect, a place where I could find out who I am, almost. But there was just such an accumulation of bullshit I experienced there, it just doesnt feel right anymore. After I wrote the text message I felt pretty vulnerable, like I dont have my group to protect me anymore. It was interesting the evening after that I dreamed pretty vividly, I remember taking LSD in the dream. I am clearing up and might be more open to psychedelics again. Made a tour yesterday to clear my head. I almost went back into writing the leader of the club that he should forget about the message and that I will be back. I will face a pretty harsh reality where I dont have the club as a supporting group (even though it was toxic there) while also not having many other options. It might all be because I felt the support of my student friend that I had the confidence to leave the club, but I cant rely on that. I notice however how making new connections with other people feels a little more organic and natural, like my primate brain adapts to the new survival situation.

Everything for everything.

I remember at some point he argued that an objective world outside exists. PERIOD! Much of his argumentation is also based on the objective world, like society is getting objectively better because in the objective world more cool shit is out there... I wonder how his mind got there.

Great. But thats what makes me think if my studies are that important. I would need to invest so much into it, maybe the degree is meaningless in a few years and what counts is actual experience. Anyways that waste meter looks super interesting, couldnt find it the source of it though.

Men I was in a mood for some junk and now I feel sick.

A pill box for my vitamins. Very often forgot them before, so a huge health upgrade for a few bucks.

Talked with a girl who does ergotheraphy today. Maybe thats also an option. It takes 3 years of training to get a degree.

Met my friend today again. He was at the place before me and socialized with quite a few more people. We chatted with this one girl who was so cool, she had such a magnetic character, I really liked her. It was a very wholesome evening. Later those two left together. This guy is my personal hero, incredibly generous, a femenist and seemingly also successfull with women in a non toxic way.

All this talk about remote viewing being real or not reminds me of a story: Years ago I was in some kind of new agy group doing some spiritual practice, most of it seemed like complete nonsense and fantasy. And then we had this coconut practice: You put a coconut into your hand and then you had to do some inner work and when you realased your inner baggage that would manifest itself in the coconut rolling out of your hand by itself. At first it didnt immediately work out and the women leading this told me that it took her a long time before it worked and that it was very debilitating and that you should hold the coconut in one hand. So I thought to myself what a dumb b*tch she just gets tired at some point and with a mix of tiredness and the will to be fooled to have something magical in her life she just let the coconut roll out of her hand herself. So when we did it a second time I took a second hand to my hand holding the coconut as reinforcement so that there would be no way that I could accidently roll the coconut out of my hand myself or fool myself. It didnt take long, the coconut didnt want to roll so she quickly asked for connection with Swamijis Power and that fu*king coconut rolled out of my hand by itself, I kid you not!

I havent booked a vacation yet. The time being sick and playing with perspectives helped a lot so I thought this was enough. But looking out the window into the foggy sky I feel a deep longing of just existing for some time without a task or pressure. I want to look out of an open window at rain drops for 3 hours, being completly lost from everyday reality.

A moment when I felt very much connected to my inner values:

Wild card - Remote viewing If I were less open minded I would actually have it easier to get a normal job. So wouldnt it only be a sort of a natural balance that because of my disadvantage there that I would have it easier else where like finding a well paying job one could only find through open mindedness and that I also have the abilities to do it, ... please, please universe bend to my interpretation of you which has my human bias? Like can remote viewing be a real thing people and I can make money from ? ___________________ I already did a course on remote viewing once, talking like 3 hours with a guy who could apperently do it. And he coached me and I did it myself and I correctly identified a volcano through coordinates alone. I remember saying things like intense energy, gray, ash, ... He even told me that one could make good money with it. This was my entry haha. Well I dont quite know what I thought about it back then, despite correctly identifying parts of the volcano it was so vague that I thought it could just be interprated to make it fit. And all the other talk seemed a little weird although I didnt come to a full conclusion if this was real or not. So I didnt follow it afterwards partly because of that confusion but also maybe because I was running away from something good.

I think we are on the same page pretty much. We agree that a vegan diet is in theory possible for most people if executed well and we have a slight disagreement in how difficult this diet would be for the average Joe to do right where I would say its a little more doable and you argue that the challenge is a little too much.

In my experience vegans are on average way more informed about diet then other people. But it might still not be enough. Although it becomes easier and easier. There are supplements where you can literally take two pills out of the same box a day which covers all your needs as a vegan on top of a well balanced vegan diet. (picture below) https://www.target.com/p/ritual-multivitamin-for-women-18-with-vegan-omega-3-dha-vitamin-d3-chelated-iron-and-methylated-folate-vegan-capsules-mint-essenced-60ct/-/A-87742293 But there is a wide variety of plant foods, so there are multiple ways to make a vegan diet work. You can search for lower fiber vegan diets, low carb vegan diets, vegan diets for building muscle, ... Of course there is less variation compared to an omnivore diet but for most needs a vegan diet has an answer. Well you would supplement those anyways. My point was moreso that in your o3 answer you said that there may be certain nutrients science hasnt discovered yet and which are vital for our health and which may only be in animal food. So my question would be, if one would supplement their diet with eggs which basically contain everything for life, wouldnt that likely cover most nutrients that havent yet been discovered?

@integral How much do you think would adding a small amount of biological eggs and maybe some milk, which both kind of contain the essence for growing life essentially increase the chance that they cover potentially not yet found nutrients by chance?

I want to understand your point so I reformulated it in my mind, correct me when I am wrong: "Almost everyone could thrive on a vegan diet if they did everything right, but practically you can expected that they wont do everything correct, and therefore that they will be unhealthy on a vegan diet. And if its not possible to educate these people about how they should pursue the vegan diet correctly it would be better to discorage them to follow this diet at all because they dont know what they are doing and would hurt themselves. An omnivore diet would be the safer pick as it increases that the person gets all the nutrients by chance. That would be a very reasonable point to make imo. However if you do that then you miss the opportunity to educate them instead. "Only AI can compete with AI" , so here we go -- lets go o3 critique the statement of the opposing o3: “Supplements = food long-term” • True that pills normalize lab values; uncertain whether they fully match whole-food effects over decades. • But we also lack 15-year randomized trials for omnivorous diets, so the evidentiary bar is being set unevenly. No long RCTs on pill B-12 + algal DHA • Correct: multidecade RCTs are almost nonexistent for any diet. • Shorter trials do show that algal DHA raises blood and cord levels and that supplemental B-12 reverses deficiency signs. Clinical end-points beyond biomarkers remain under-studied for all diets. “A pill fixes a marker, not the whole web” • Fair caution. • However, modern omnivore diets also depend on fortification (iodised salt, folic-acid flour, vitamin-D milk). If a supplement corrects downstream function, the burden of proof that hidden damage persists shifts to the critic. Unknown co-factors (taurine, carnosine, creatine, collagen, K2-MK-4) • Creatine, taurine, carnosine: low in vegans but easily supplemented; deficiency syndromes in adults are rare to nonexistent. • Collagen: body makes it from amino acids plus vitamin C; glycine and proline are abundant in legumes and seeds. • Vitamin K2: MK-4 is animal-derived, but MK-7 from natto or supplements converts partly to MK-4. Fracture risk in vegans rises mainly when calcium and protein are low, not because of mysterious factors. Genetic / microbiome non-converters • Real but uncommon. FADS1/2, FUT2, TCN2, MTHFR variants affect status in every diet; most issues are solved by targeted supplementation or diet tweaks. • IBS-type reactions to legumes are legitimate; work-arounds include soaking, pressure-cooking, enzyme pills, or using lower-FODMAP plant proteins. Life-stage edge cases • Pregnancy, infancy, adolescence, post-menopause, endurance sport: tighter safety margins. Dietetic organisations already state that vegan diets at these stages must be “well planned.” Adherence reality (84 % return rate) • High dropout reflects human behaviour, not inherent biological failure. Only about a third of ex-vegans cite health as the reason, and guidance plus supplements sharply reduce attrition. Digestive-tolerance bandwidth • High legumes and whole grains can trigger FODMAP/oxalate issues for a minority. Similar tolerance problems exist for dairy (lactose) or gluten in omnivores. Adaptation strategies usually resolve them. Practical supply chain • Access inequality affects all specialised eating patterns. • B-12 tablets and algal oil are shelf-stable, cheap, and ship more easily than fresh meat; fortified soy or oat drinks cover major gaps where supplements are scarce. Bottom line • Long-term hard-endpoint data are scarce for every diet, not just veganism. • Current evidence shows that vegan diets with B-12, DHA/EPA, calcium, iodine, and adequate protein perform as well as omnivorous diets on mortality and most health outcomes, while offering advantages for BMI, LDL, diabetes, and hypertension. • Genetic outliers, special life stages, and poor adherence can cause problems, but these are solvable with testing, targeted supplements, and practical cooking methods.

What are people missing that they cant get from a planned, monitored and supplemented vegan diet? I see people with certain health issues like Leo with his gut microbiome problem cant be vegan and there are likely some other health issues which make a vegan diet unhealthy so thats a few. And many people in the world dont have access to the whole spectrum of plant foods so there are limitations on those people as well. But what is your regular Joe who is lucky living in a first world country having access to a Walmarkt and Amazon missing?

For later:

Speaking of patterns, sometimes I stop myself from archieving something, especially if its about relationships. I remember when I was doing some kind meditative practice with other people and I had such a good vibe with a women there. It was all so perfect and yet for some reason I never came again. I was astonished myself, closely observing myself and being unable to figure out why exactly I act the way I acted. It can be a broth mixed with all kind of good reasons like not wanting to give to much personal space away to fast and so on and I act intuitively so I dont logically follow every action I do but sometimes it just doesnt make much sense. There seems to be a deeper pattern I am not fully conscious off. Maybe trauma related (feeling unlovable or something), sometimes it can also be spiritually related (wanting to stay in alignment to my pursuit), that I dont want to open to the social domain to much but its unlikely always the case.

What is so valueable about this journal is that I am more likely to find patterns and repititions because everything is inside the blog, its harder to conveniently forget.

This is a spiritual forum, maybe look at what you are actually doing. Are you conscious in your response?

I was vegan for 3 years, then switched to vegetarianism (milk and eggs) for about a year now for convenience and also fear I was missing something. When you hear that vegans are unhealthy from all sides and struggle with mental health problems (unprocessed trauma and very likely undiagnosed adhd) this really gets to you. Its quite something, you know the science, yet the primal fears are hammering on you. Its the rational part of the brain vs your primal instincts. Quite an insightful inner war for understanding much of politics. Anyway a part of me thought that I would get amazing health benefits from these foods but I didnt. I didnt crave eggs. I think eggs from chicken who are free (the very expensive ones) are ethically pretty okay, milk is shit though. The amount of convenience it gives me though is big, trying to keep the damage to a minimum as I have been switching parts to soy joghurt.

If humans were superior to animals inherently then it might still be pretty unethical to raise them in factory farms and then kill them. If humans were not superior to animals inherently then it would be incredibly unethical to raise them in factory farms and then kill them. You live life from the relative, not the absolute.