Jannes

Its 25% on Mexico, 25% on Canada and 10% on China

Vera F. Birkenbihl

Some beauty can only be seen when you are sufficiently developed to see it.

I won't become easier as you age so it's good that you start now. Why do you want to do online stuff? It's so less personal and you said yourself that you find mostly weird people there. Are you socially insecure? Through work or some kind of community might be a good start.

Another Dalton like idea 8: Pessimism saved my life! - life after death probably sucks even more! 37DDA927-D619-4D27-87F9-EC6E41E25D28.pdf

I had a talk with the adhd group yesterday and it was very productive as I asked what kind of careers the other people had and how they feel their adhd contributes to that. It isnt as easy but there are some niches where you can excel in because of adhd. As a basic a certain structure seems to be important for adhd people, creativity and not sensory overload. As a teacher I get structure, creativity but sometimes sensory overload. As I grow more as a teacher I might not get a sensory overload anymore. Its difficult to predict, I cant tell how much I will still grow and how it will be then exactly but I predict that it will become notably easier. Today it wasn't as tough, I am a bit more hopeful. Ergotheraphy is also an option. A person said that it is the perfect job for adhd people. But it doesn't pay well. I am interested in finding something I can do part time to focus on other projects. The head of the adhd group was there and she talked about working in counseling business creators. She has a special super creative method for that. She said she thinks I could work in that field especially with my studies as a teacher. So that could be an option as well. The plan is to find a job that gives me structure. That isnt just good for money but it grounds me. Then I am more happy to create whatever I want in my free time. I still playing with the thought of becoming an actor though even though it doesn't seem like a rationally good decision. Sometimes as an actor you get in touch with very profound pieces of consciousness. It's hard to explain, you need some experience to relate but basically you refine and refine your role more and more. And you always search for something that feels solid and sometimes you touch something deep which you then manifest in the expression in your role. And I deeply value excellence. When I dont study to become an actor I will never touch certain gems. Even though I can find gems elsewhere which I couldnt find if I do acting, it's hard to turn your back to that. When I see friends being in acting schools... But right now I am not emotionally stable enough to do acting and I dont think it would make me super happy but maybe it would. And when I see other friends being in acting schools now... What was almost more important though is that I dont feel weird around other people with adhd. I noticed that people with adhd put a ton of attention and expression to little signs of body language. It's a whole different way of communication. Because of the confusion I made with my different way of communicating I felt so weird. I put a lot of force into acting more normal. Now I see more that it might be okay to just be a little different.

For me it's the opposite. To many options stress me out, I need some basic structure.

I put way to much hope on this picture I found on the internet as a guide but it does fit me very well.

Teaching can be very tough... I won't lengthen the contract that I have atm. Even if I just teach for one hour a day it's very mentally taxing. I go to my limits every time trying to control the class (which is out of control). The situation is that I am not yet grounded and confident in myself and relatively inexperienced so when I grow as a person over the years this will all become a lot easier. But if it doesnt become a lot easier then this is not a good option for me. Sure I can work relatively few hours and still make decent money off that and it seems okay as a job but if it is so mentally taxing that I need to recover after a few hours of teaching then I won't be able to use my free time effectively either. I emanate a lot of calmness naturally. It's one of the first things people notice about me. I can put people to peace just by being around them. I think a lot about working in counseling right now. I always thought about studying psychology. But I dont have the grades to study it and on closer inspection it seems relatively dry, so much statistics and not enough juiciness. I like to learn about my mind through contemplation, psychedelics and stuff. Thats a juicy understanding. But you cant work of that, or at least there is no clear path. And I dont think I could do another studies. I learned that I am not cut for studying, or that I haven't found the right support to do it well.

I really want to consume more political news, it's important for my life, but I just find it so damn uninteresting. I enjoy reading politics from Leos blog though as this is embedded in spiritual understanding. That makes sense to me. But without that most of the political sources I consume just seems like shadows fighting each other. My political understand isnt good enough to easily and accurately make sense of political discussions so I cant really connect it to the existential roots and then it becomes uninteresting. Does politics become more interesting when you understand more of it? I dont want to consume cheap dopamin political stories either of course. I have a news source I could listen to every day for 5mins to get some basic understanding but I rarely find the motivation to do it. Thats an interesting perspective: when you are happy in life I guess it becomes easier for you to consume high quality political news because you have enough feel good emotions in your system to endure listening to dry and nuanced political news without the need of dopamine hits to keep you aware. So there seems to be a real necessity and many life purposes to package nuanced and mature politics into something entertaining to listen to. I haven't found that connection been made all that often though. What I want to know as I am sure I am not alone with this, when and how have you found access to politics?

That was my thought process as well for quite some time. Well I would like to create art, maybe theatre plays, maybe inventions and I feel like if I want to tell or do anything I need to understand the world around me to know which impact whatever I create will have.

I am not a master at anything yet. I am still at the stage where I dont even really know what I want to pursue. At the moment the closest thing is writing theatre plays and acting where I have some experience in. The other thing is that I dont know if I even want to work on my LP full time. I need time to get some inspiration and some kind of grounding routine in work could be very beneficial. I dont think I could manage working on creative pursuits all day. For my mental health I actually cling to some kind of (loose) structures. What you share is all valueable though. I guess even if what I have atm is just an offshoot, seeing that I could potentially make a living of that might be manure to growth. You said you didnt make it yet. Maybe you want to share your journey so far though.

That would be interesting to analyze from an ethical point of view and to compare it to meat and other animal products. Insects are a lot less sentient then mammals like cows so the life of a single insect might worth less then that of a single cow. But a cow has many kilograms of meat while an insect is light, so for one cow you would need to kill thousands of insects. But to feed a cow lots of crops need to be produced which kills many insects anyway while insects need less fuel. That is also good for the environment as a whole which saves lots of lives...

hmm is it a credible source?

The host very confidently predicted that Kamala would easily win the election. To be so wrong must be quite embarrassing... The guy looks like he is into conspiracies with that wizard hat. Where do the numbers come from? What credibility has that guy?

So you never experienced love even before blackpill? Try to split what is because of blackpill and what has its roots elsewhere. While I have a different path as I never swallowed the blackpill - in recent years life experience has blackpilled me a little. Experiencing cold harsh reality can break some sweet illusions. But it reveals what remains solid so invest in that. Now practically of course you should completely distance yourself from blackpill, it will loose some of its grip on you just over time. You can also realize that blackpill is just one way to view reality that is incomplete. Analogously Alan Watts made a point of how materialists with their oversimplifying lense of looking at the world put the world down. You know they say that a swarm of birds flying in perfect harmony is nothing more then a mechanical biological process designed for survival and dictated by physical laws. While that has some truth, is that all? Is that the whole picture? Or look at a great sunrise or at a thousand snowflakes falling from the sky and ask yourself if there is something missing if one would to say that this is just a blind mechanical process?

There is a very high spiritual perspective of being a nobody and a very low not so spiritual perspective of being a nobody.

Well big companies in America will have more power then ever so why wouldnt they be safe?

You raise an important point! Personally I don't think I want to be an enentrepreneur yet. It would put a lot of pressure on my work and would also put me on a survival bind where I have to create things which the audience wants to watch to pay me which would corrupt my work. I also need time to even find what I want to create and share with the world. Plus I dont think I could work on my creative endeavors full time. I need experience in the real world to fuel my ideas so why not with a job. But maybe marketing could be a viable career path to make money to built capital and then I could share my ideas. What was your path? - you seem to speak from experience.

I hope and think so. The question is what you do in the meantime. Yeah thats a good plan, I try to do that. I did a bit of acting, wrote a few theatre monologues/ scenes, I really want to draw a few pictures I have in my mind, ... It's a bit of both probably but I think the depression or semi depression from social problems came first. I also realize that I am a very empathetic individual and not having deep bonds with people who I can help seems to be hurting me. It's not my LP I think but still an important and meaningful part of my life so chicken and egg in one it seems. I also get a lot of grounding in return. The social problems are a giant energy consumer, if I manage them the world will look a lot better I think. It's just that I also highly value very authentic friendships and it's not easy to find those. Maybe I am also overthinking and I dont need them that desperately. I feel like I am a bit in a hedgehog situation if you know the analogy of Schopenhauer. Yes, from what I understand with existential bliss I give myself that. It kept me intact through quite the storms but because it doesn't always solve practical issues its not a solution alone. I go to a adhd self help group regularly atm and there are moments of feeling so accepted and understood that I get nowhere else. Thats the practical direction that helps me more atm. I think everybody has social anxiety to some extend Its better when you are used to socializing regularly. Adhd can cause you to overthink about certain things as you can get a hyperfocus on slight social fuck ups and stuff. Of course I won't take your advice as medical advice or something like this. I think my thread is a bit heavy to approach especially with all the depression elements added on top so I very much appreacitate all the effort.

I have just watched Tom Campbell on the Joe Rogan podcast and he talked a lot about paranormal phenomena. There are two main things this makes me think about: 1) Which role does experiencing these phenomena have in growing mankind's consciousness? It might get us out of our materialistic paradigm but it doesn't open us necessarily to deeper truths. But perhaps it's an important first step. And for non actualizers this might be just the perfect amount. 2) Which of the paranormal phenomena are the most promising in terms of being true and accessible? Remote viewing or telekineses if it is true might be the best as its easily verifiable and when you get even just a toe into it it can break a paradigm.

I see. But wouldnt you say a profound mystical experience tops that?

So if it wouldnt give you comfort and smell good you wouldnt do it? You cant make proper science with just your personal observation. And if wooden cookware would be that terrible that everybody would get sick because of it it wouldnt even get sold as it is easily replaceable. So of course I am talking about a relatively small benefit for health but still a no brainer because there is little to no downside in using stainless steel cookware.

Do you have hypochondria for cleaning your hands after you shit? There are just general rules of hygiene to follow which includes cooking wood utensils regularly if you use them.

Nah bacteria can easily spread on wood utensils they have to be cooked a lot to kills the bacteria. The benefits of non stick pans is that you cant really damage them so stainless steel utensils can be used with them.