Sonny

@Matthew85 Well... I have experienced the truth for sure. But the problem lies when my ego comes back and analyses it and makes a fear story of it. I have had awakenings where I was absolutely bliss and connected. Very very deep experiences. But my ego made this whole story that screwed it up... and I don't know how to get rid of it. Because now, everytime I reach that state again, I get a very big load of fear and on the brink of a panic attack. I even had panic attacks just by memorising the oneness experiences that I had, even though those experiences were good. One time I resisted an lsd trip for hours and hours on end, because I was afraid if I let go, I would die into the oneness. It was very hard work. But the fear was too big. I even didn't trip for 2 years already because of this. I did a little bit of cannabis and I was right back where I started, after one drag. It's a sensation that I am going to explode and that I am the one playing in my own dream and no escape possible, all me, those two things.

7% will die? That is so extreme, I really don't believe that. I sense that you totally bought into the fear package that they made. But you know... everybody has their own resources and I respect everyone's different view on it but from what I have read, that it absolutely false. I have read a book of a very good dutch journalist for example, who interviewed many professionals in the field like virologists/flu experts in hospitals etc, and they said that the vaccine is indeed experimental. It could be that nothing will happen, or it could be bad. It's an experiment. Look at the death numbers, it's almost always 70/80+ people with already one or two heavy diseases underneath and obese etc. I am 27 and healthy... it's not in my league. Let them get vaccinated and get help, I'm fine with that. And that long covid story is exaggerated I think. It's also a very low percentage who gets that, and you will recover from it sooner or later. Another way to freighten the population and convince younger population to get vaccinated. Let me guess... once everyone is vaccinated, including the youngsters, there will be a reveal/study that long covid is not as bad as expected and stuff like that. I don't buy into it anymore... and I could be wrong and I will bear the consequences. But from the numbers that I see, I think I'm right. Governments/experts have a lot of interests. They are not objective. They cannot be.

@Tim R Thanks for the reply. But what I tried to describe is not solipsism. It's hard to describe exactly what I mean, but it's definitely consciousness and not the meaningnessless what you described. From what I read about solipsism, is that it's about the mind. The idea that I would be the only one having a mind. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that indeed we are all one, everything is connected. I totally 'believe' in that and integrated, but there is a difference in that there would be humans connected with eachother through 'god' and their higher selves, or that there is just one consciousness and that's it. Because in that sense, I am playing this game with myself. And I wish it to be that I am an ego and soul who self realises and integrates it's connection with everything. So it's more like a dilemma what is truth... 1: I am the whole universe, and I am basically playing with myself. 2: I am part of the whole universe and made of the same fabric, together with all other higher/selves/beings/souls, together we are growing/evolving etc. And after that whole soul progression ladder, I become the whole universe again... until the circle goes round.

@Purple Man What practice do you recommend? And what do you think of my fear? Is it true what I think or am I misinterpreting the oneness?

Well, I've gone very deep quite some times... and during the experience it was indeed blissful (not always, also resisted it) but afterwards when integrating/remembering, I get fear. I don't know how to interpret it. I just don't want it to be just me. That it's all just me.

I've been doing that for years. But everytime I stumble against the same problem: that if I am God, and I created this, there is essentially no one else behind the veil of Ego, only myself. So I'm essentially trapped in my own universe with the illusion that there are others. Very scary idea. If there were souls for example, it's like we are both bathing in oneness/God, while connecting. That feels in a way more true/better, but it's a constant struggle if it's either this or that.

@Swarnim Well... because I have the idea that souls would have a long long journey before heading back to complete oneness. So in the end it's the same, I get where you are coming from. But then I have atleast the idea that beyond the material ego world, there are others. For example... maybe it would take a million lifes to get back to oneness. So then, I don't really care about that lonely oneness feeling and I would see it all as a beautiful journey. But having the idea that this life is just created by me and after that, it's back to square one, it's just upsetting to me, there is no real point to it and I'm all alone. In the end, it doesn't matter, because with non-duality, I am all alone, but atleast beyond this life there is more duality, before that non duality. It also prevents me from connecting deeply to others, if it's just me who I am interacting with. But I don't really know what the fear is based upon.

There are a lot of experts on the other side, though. Also: the way biggest chunk of people that died of covid have either other very bad health conditions already or they are at the age of dieing anyway. A very small percentage dies from it while they have been normal, healthy individuals below 70 years old. If the flu were to be new now and having the same spreading-rate, we would have the exact same situation as now, I think. It's not the disease itself, it's because there is no group immunity, that's why it's so striking in the world. But the numbers are somewhat the same. And because of this, it's also worse than the flu but nowhere near as bad as the world reacts to it, in my opinion. For many people, flu has always been the last push over the edge to die unfortunately. And now covid is exactly that too, for around the same category of people. Especially during flu waves that happen every year, in Holland the hospitals are full too and everyone is in stress. It happens every year, and we never got any lockdowns because we accept it's a part of life. I'm also not against a vaccine, but do I get a vaccine for the flu? No. So I also don't take it for this. Just focus on the people that are actually in danger, like the flu... that should be the aim in my opinion.

Hi there. I could write a very big post about this but maybe better to just get to the point. I have had many mystical experiences, sober and on psychedelics but last few years I have a big blockage that is preventing me from exploring further. I have a big fear of the oneness realization. At first, I was extremely happy and surprised, it felt like truth and a relief. But shortly later I experienced great fear/bad trips that I might be the only one creating this. That I am essentially all alone in the universe. That all other people are simply ego's and there is no real soul beneath them. As if I am in a prison of my own soul/universe, in a school where everything is reflected back to me. I am open to the idea that I interpret non-duality wrong. If I listen to Ram Dass' teachings, it's more like: ego > soul > oneness. And we exist on all these planes. This is what I prefer to believe in... that behind this ego-life, we still have a soul which is having this whole spiritual/astral existence and at the same time on a deeper level we are all the same. But according the teachings of @Leo Gura, I feel like he is skipping the whole soul part, it's either Ego or Oneness. I am open to that idea too. But it just gives me extreme anxiety if I really dive into it. I don't really know how to progress any further. Everytime I go deep, I get back to this fear and it consumes me. That I am the creator, the God that made everything... and everyone is a part of me, which will be me again, after I die, instead of another soul progressing forth. I prefer to believe in that in between these two things, we are souls. That when Non Duality talks about that we are consciousness... that souls operate in the same waters. As in that 'God'/Consciousness is a sea, and souls are made from the same fabric aka water. So we don't identify with being the creator of the universe, but with our Higher Self, and that we mistake that from that we are the whole Sea ourselves. It also prevents me from connecting deeply to others, if it's just me who I am interacting with, without any souls behind it. During a bad trip, I really needed to connect deeply to another human, to not go into full blown panic. This is already 2 years ago. This tells me that I interpret it wrongly, or that it's the painful truth. This is a mind boggling thing I have been going for three years now. I hope you guys could maybe provide some tips or ways to cope with this. PS: I get a oneness experience very quickly now. Today for example I was listening to an actualized video about Fear (part 2) while walking through nature and it hit me... or when I even inhale a tiny bit of cannabis, I get a oneness experience. So it's very important that I find a new way of dealing with this... this cannot go any further, it's a complete blockage. I need to either accept it, or fix my wrong interpretation. Tldr; Is it just Ego / Oneness, or is it Ego / Soul / Oneness, or something different/I interpret it wrongly?

How much is the whole covid narrative based on fear then?

Hi. I have/had ocd and I managed to let it behind/transcend it. It's always in the corner luring around so gotta be careful, but I definitely made big process so I can share how I did it. It started a few years ago in a period of a lot of stress in combination with the lessening of the self through spiritual progress and the existential fear that it gave. Because I didn't feel that much ego to cling to anymore, I made up ocd to cling myself to that, because I was used to that my whole life. Atleast I could focus on something ego-wise. In my worst phases, I couldn't resist them at all and I had to stop whatever I was doing to fulfill that 'need'. I built the ocd step by step, by giving in to the compulsion, it grew a path in my brain and the more I walked that path, the easier and quicker I was going to walk on it again. So what I did what trying to consciously not give in to that path and be patient. And it was very very hard but the more I did it, more easy it was to resist walking on that path until it faded away. I did that with every different compulsion that I had. What also helped for me is that I made a big trip across south america for 3 months, which was a totally new environment so my brain was making new patterns/paths anyway. This helped me to not fall into the same trap. But I had many setbacks, that I fell back into the ocd. I see it as a training to learn mindfulness and letting go. I also think that the ego becomes bigger the more it loses control. My ocd became worse the more stress I had. So I also took a break from most stressful things to really work on myself. So simply: train yourself to become more mindful/conscious and walk the path less and less until you don't feel the need to walk it anymore. Also try to understand what the deeper reason for your ocd is... are you running away from something, are you finding any comfort in doing it, does it help you escape the real world for a second? The more you are going to resist to walk it, the sooner the path will fade away. If you are in a hurry, try to force yourself to do the thing that your ocd is afraid of the most. As soon as your brain realizes it can withstand such a big compulsion, it's going to be easier to withstand the smaller compulsions. Last tip: mindfulness is a big part of healing it, I think. You get the compulsion, you see it for what it is, you feel the discomfort of not doing the compulsion until it moves on. Over and over and over and over again... until you grow that muscle and it becomes easier and easier. It sort of forces you to become mindful/conscious. Good luck!

I'm not anti-vax, but I am (so far) not going to take the vaccine. I have invested countless of hours last year into researching this whole covid thing, like a lot of people. My simple conclusion is that it is not as bad as it is portrayed. It's worsely portrayed to convince people to follow the measures and take the vaccin. As far as I know, it's a little worse than the flu, mainly because it's new, so there is no herd immunity so there is a way higher spread. If everyone would get the flu right now, it would look very much the same as covid, I think. Apart from that, I am 27 and healthy and I am not getting a flu-shot every year (elder and 'weak' people do). So would I take this one then? If you look at the fatality rate, it's much less than originally expected. All the doom scenarios are not coming true, everytime they give the reasons for some new measures, the scenario is very far away from the truth. Apart from that, scientists with different opinions are getting censored. I am not saying that it is all true what I write now... but for me, this removes the trust in this whole thing. I also don't trust the process of how the vaccine is made. For example the mexican flu's vaccine caused narcolepsy, which is officially accredited by governments now. Who knows what this vaccin will do... I don't trust it and many doctors say it's a risk. For me a greater risk than covid, I think we know enough of that disease now to make a good estimation how bad it is. I think many basic human rights are getting ignored/taken away, so it's also principally not good for me to take the vaccine, it would feel like I support this whole thing which I don't. Doesn't mean that covid is laughable... absolutely not. The flu is very serious too. Every year the hospitals are full of flu patients, from young to old. Although mainly old of course. But did we have a lockdown because of that? No. But I respect everybody's decision of course.