Applegarden8

That is also true, but I just hate content feeds with a passion. I quit them and I feel significantly better. Not that they are not enjoyable. They are numbing. I have so much cringe music and content to share but... I don't want to return here. Anyway I am here! With regard to the forum the self-dev solutions are simpler in practice than endless QandA. Questions, curiosity and framing better models about reality is fine but, I come from a self-dev school where the solution is always simple and the one I am most unwilling to face - that which does the most damage and I don't want to see. To jump around it is to circlejerk. And my criticism is untenable after all. So don't mind my nonsense. Best regards.

What is kinda cringe that this forum is kinda enabling people to watch more reels than to live their authentic desires. There is no other milder or joking way of saying it. Not that I am cringing. It is just what it is. I rather play some games than spend time in this. I guess see you around. Do you have time to read and watch all of that? Probably not.

In 2020-2021 I wish I made an EP. Then I made like 2 hours of music. Every album was better than the previous one. New one is coming soon. While it does sound indescribable and wonderful to my ears. It's nothing really special and it's as ordinary as can be. I am facing immense insecurity of not wanting to do what the others are doing with their lives like having spouses and making children. It's wonderful and let them have it. But the societal and collective unconscious gets to me. I trigger them and they trigger me. Nothing needs to he said. But I reflect. And something has happened with my meditation practice as I described earlier. Sadhguru elaborates this on his Dream Yantra. Where the prarabdha karma of an individual gets loosened, it shrinks and one experiences the feeling of being porous. That's what I can relate to whatever is happening to me. And that energy is also expressing trough my music or expressing when I am listening to music. It's something interesting I never really thought possible but yet it's as ordinary as can be. The magic of life is there. There is extreme and I mean extreme highs and lows switching by the minute. And I am the reality itself experiencing every phenomenon. I am working, paying taxes and everything. I sold my car 4 years ago and I go to my work by walking. Some people have a big status problem with me. How come you "don't do anything". Well what is there to do? Apart from the essentials I will not do anything without grace. Music comes from within. I can't be productive with it. I need time. Sometimes I need to forget it. But I do play guitar regularly. I reduced my screen time for socials and sites like these because I started playing Dota 2, hahahaha. My colleagues also joined. That is a bit odd, I need to play less, but I will fine tune it. It makes me more productive with my chores and it oddly gives me space for creativity. I used to install and delete it. But now I want it on my PC and to postpone the thought of playing just to do whatever is needed or to give space for music. Then I can play, no problem. Other than that my health has gone a bit better. I stopped drinking coffee after 2 years of trying. That was hard. But It really dropped off one day. Same with celibacy. While the wet dreams are there, fantasies at night and in the morning, I haven't felt better ever since I stopped serving off and that is 2+ years going. I don't even remember doing it. And I have been meditating regularly and a lot. I still listen to Sadhguru, Nithyananda etc. my life is very different than it was 10 years ago. I am very happy I did meditate and did not jump into a relationship. I don't care I am a virgin. I'll be for the rest of my life if I have to or want to. There is a big advantage in that nobody talks about except the gurus, sages and sadhus who did it also. Relationship is also beautiful of course but. I will farm those energies, move them upward, experience some interesting things, focus on my health and the core epistemics of life. In any situation, any body and decision energy does not go missing. If you judge people by their life you never have their full picture. Who are you to assert what they should do or how should they be. It's because you want to validate your reality. But reality does not hold any position. Either you have access to the source of creation or god or whatever or not. And to what extent. That and the health of your body will determine your happiness, ability to manifest your true desires or to renounce it all and look in deeper. Even though I might be bored at work, pounded with rejection, comparison, disdain, envy, hatred and lethargy, there is a fine degree of porousness, bliss and happiness. I can be very happy by my own nature when I am alone. I almost can't describe it. But I forget that. I keep forgetting that I am the source. But I am the truth what else can I be. Thanks @Leo Gura.

Hey, nice to see you here. I don't use socials much and the penfriend thing was quite exhausting at the time. Hope you are doing well!

Hello! Just wanted to say... that I did achieve something. I don't want to call it enlightenment or anything. But since Leo is interested in enlightenment work, I am happy to share as he is part of my spiritual infrastructure. What is happening: - Vestibular hyporeflexia over 1.5 to 2 years, no vertigo, but physical symptoms. I checked with various medical tests and even drank pills, nothing is helping and there is really no diagnosis. At the sime time I did celibacy (no fapping) only wet dreams from time to time. I suspect that the vestibular symptoms is some kind of kundalini awakening, as I have no balance issues really other than physiological discomfort and heaviness with the nervous system; - Pronounced bliss, random crying for no reason of the auspicious kind; - Very easy to connect with the presence of gurus like Sadhguru, Ramana Maharishi, Nithyananda, Osho and the list goes on but especially Sadhguru for me somehow, his presence is so strong; - Moments where my energy field and or the first person experience expands and I just either radiate or download somwthing. The experience is very hard to describe; - Life feels more magical, auspicious, intuitive, the dreams have changed; - Spontaneous energy center spasms, bliss, sensations like manipuraka, swadishthana, vishuddhi, agna; - Feeling like I can take my energies and direct them into any part of my body and various actions centers them for example into the head or eyes or throat etc. - Yoga becomes very easy to do and has completely changed meaning, same with some other activities like eating or housekeeping, working or even making music. These actions seem to generate energy not exhaust it sometimes, and I feel I have more access to the process. For example just few upa yoga asanas by Isha yoga makes me like ecstatic and I start shedding tears sometimes. - I can sit in one posture with my eyes closed for more and more extended periods of time. I acctually want to sit because the sitting is so intense it starts to override any other activity. Do I have problems still or have I reached some kind of state? No I haven't yet reached any permanent quantum integration, but reality has become significantly more liquid and at its base significantly different! Senses, energies and thoughts mix up with one another a bit. I am learning how to ride the Ox backward so to say. Another thing I experimented is sankhya philosophy. Meaning that I declare I am already enlightened, already free, I am doing things in life such as eating or doing yoga as the eternal, deathless, screen. Or when I do yoga i declare that the perfect geometry is expressing trough this body. Or when I do some body healing with awareness I am declaring that the body is already perfect and the most intelligent gadget in the universe and let it express that quality. Or that when I meditate, the eternal deathless screen is recognizing itself or that I am meditation itself. I am truth itself. I am buddha itself, I can't suffer. And of course many other things I have written and integrated. Nithyananda GPT-4 has really helped me with this sankhya, but anyway it was bound to happen to me. Enlightenment is continuously taking this form and can take your form also if you continiously decide to. This is my honest testimony. I am disciple of Nithyananda, Sadhguru and Mooji primarily. I have tried many techniques such as Isha Kriya, have done Inner engineering. Do Sadhgurus upa yoga and I am a really big fan of Nithyananda because he has given me the most methods and the most satsangs, especially the AI lately - akashik readings, completion as nirbhaya dhyaana, poornattva sthiti, samskara dagjana kriya, elaborations of Baghdad Gita, elaboration of siddha advaita and disciplines of tantra, Shiva sutras (healing the body with/by awareness, attempting to sleep in turiya, samadhi), explanations of states of consciousness, explanations of Kalpataru or manifestation, and really so much more i can't even describe you. I will not tell you if I meet you, but I will tell you, the reader, in this forum. Thanks. Please, don't ask me anything, unless you have a really burning question. I might not answer because here are people who hate people like Nithyanada and Sadhguru because they have really no clue what a guru can give, but only fear. At least I know what a guru is and it's such a blessing. He just pours his grace in every moment of time and the intensity only increases. I know Leo does not like this path, but his teachings and concepts that opened my mind were crucial in my path. I am REALLY looking forward what is next. Cheers, Applegarden.

I think it would be good for people to make a video about what to do when: What you think was your life purpose has failed. Some catastrophe has happened in your life like a major breakup, running out of money, being fired from your job, a loved one dies (especially a younger one). Life loses meaning. Your peers, neighbors, coworkers, friends don't understand you anymore. When dark night of the soul experience happens in your life and how to maintain the purpose you want or a purpose. Why and how not to make harsh, momentary, decisions that can cost you this life. How to integrate contradicting views and ideas, abuse by other people so that you can maintain and continue your growth. How to live a conscious life in unconscious world.

Exactly. You don't need to.

You shouldn’t get your ears cleaned. Clean it only with your pinky during a shower or bath. If earwax is not there from not enough earwax, you are welcoming ear infection. Plus you want to touch eardrums and war canal as little as possible. Earwax also usually melts out of your ear. The peroxide thing is what I totally do not recommend.

I am in the process of changing apartments, because I had chronic neighbour problems at night. When I had to explain it to the owner I broke and started crying. I couldn't explain a word to him. I also feel a sense of deep loneliness, isolation, and frustration because I am on vacation but here I am spending it all just to relocate instead of doing just about anything I would like to. Now, I am aware of them. I kinda can navigate trough them. But I am still feeling very vulnerable and lonely. It's not how I usually feel. Sometimes life kicks you, and it has been kicking me for some time as I spent another half for going to doctors. I just feel miserable for the longest time. I am kinda fine, I can keep living my life, but yeah something like crisis really kicked in. All my insecurities just amplified... I also have feelings of breakup. So. She will probably move on just fine. It just burns. So that being said, life is worth it. It will pass. Keep going.

My problem was a brief emotional turmoil that is way out of the ordinary. Crying for no reason, panic attack, existential dread or something like that. It's gone, but when it happens, it happens.

Hello, here is my stupid, but I think more true way about marriage. Since relationships are dynamic, the marriage should have an expiry date and you have to renew the status if both people agree. I view marriage as something that you have committed to over a period of time. You have married to your location of living, your carrier, your hobbies, the people who you let in your life etc. and that tends to change over time. So it gives false sense of security and asset distribution mechanism. Regarding the assets, that is a whole different discussion I don't think I am ready for. We elect politicians every x years, but many of us live in dead marriages... What do you guys think?

I mean it's a change of meta and it forces you to think differently about it even as a social experiment! For example if a green card was available only when you are married, how will people play the meta game?

I will also take the profits once people start coming in my office. x)

@Princess Arabia that's fair. @meta_male i had a disclamer in my OP. The idea is stupid. x) But it's an interesting irony/paradox. So many things have changes in how we transact with each other in business etc., but the institution of marriage and serial monogamy has stayed. Not that it's good or bad because of it. But it's there as it is, living in people's heads and guides people's value and judgment of others.

You do talk about it when you are making jokes about it or if they ask you. Otherwise, focus on your life and what is right for you. World is large and diverse ecosystem. If they push shit on you, this is where you take a stand. Make known to them that you don't support their views. That's all. If they further gaslight you or are mean about it, move out or tolerate.

I am waiting minimum 300 word analysis from you.

Nono, the thing is that "until death will take us apart" if you keep renewing it. And practically marriage is A LOT of cases is not life-long. I would blame Leo for coming up with this.

I will say this differently @Salvijus. When the thunderstorm is coming, go the the basement and go to sleep. Likewise man, thanks for the kind words.

I am not having marriage problems. It's just a random question I have. Now, let's focus on the topic.

Yes, but that extra work reflects the commitment as in any other aspect of life and those who want to be married will keep married.

@Salvijus thanks man

@Princess Arabia it will be, thanks!

@Sugarcoat I just wanted to let it out somewhere. Peace! I am usually meditative and self-sufficient, but today I am not... It's OK. Thank you for your reply.

@Leo Gura Wanted to ask wether you plan to host and use any AI to index some of your docs, books and contemplations to help you summarize, contemplate deeper and provide perspectives or give it other tasks from your personal info? Wether some of the forum users think about it? I am thinking to start doing something like that and I also saw some monster mini PCs with eGPU that could host language models on the larger side. The capabilities of AI will increase and you can always arm it with more tools and who knows maybe some of them could change your life for your private stuff and especially solving abstract lifestyle problems.

Hello @Leo Gura. Couldn't contact tech support for some reason either. Best regards.